Love in the Mix (Love in the Mix #1)

Chapter 40

forty

LUNA

T wo hours later, I’m waiting nervously, pacing the length of the greenroom of Craic. The room is dark and smaller than the backstage area Sebastian and I found ourselves in just a few months ago. My boots shuffle against the carpet floor with every turn I make, and the thudding sound of my feet only increases the dread pooling in my gut. Sebastian and Xavier are both off searching for some ginger ale to calm my stomach.

The door opens and I spin quickly, hoping one of them has found something—literally anything at this point—but instead I see Mac. I mean, he does own the place. Of course he’s here.

“You look like you’re gonna lose your stomach all over my carpet. Are you alright?” he asks, eyes following me as I move to pace once again. Nodding my head quickly, nerves start to boil over. “Luna, darling, you need to breathe.” He grabs my arm gently, moving us to sit on the red leather coach pushed up against the wall. “You’re going to pass out if you don’t take a deep breath.”

I nod again slowly, taking a shaky breath, trying to calm my nerves. He sits beside me, his hand resting on my arm, a grounding, albeit giant, presence.

"Talk to me," he says simply, his gray eyes searing into my own. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

“I’m scared,” I say, trying to push past the lump in my throat. “Mac, what the fuck are we doing? What am I doing?”

“Well now, you’re waiting to go into a room of reporters to announce your new song, a damned good one, and let the world know who you’re shaggin’,” he says with a shrug.

“No shit, Sherlock. No shit, Mac!” My nerves turn to annoyance at his very accurate answer. I don’t want accurate. Men are so stupid sometimes, I swear to God.

“Ah, there she is. Thought I was losing you for a minute." His smile makes me want to punch him right in the throat.

“Why does everyone feel the need to piss me off?”

“It’s the only thing that makes you less nervous darling, it’s not meant to be bad. It’s quite adorable, actually. You’re like a wee little ram, ready to bump heads with the first hard head you run into.”

“I really hate you, Mac.”

“No, you don’t, darling.” He smiles brightly at me. “Now tell me, what’s got you so troubled?” I huff out a breath, releasing some of the tension in my chest.

“Come on, Mac. You of all people should remember. You saw what the internet thought of just our kiss on Valentine’s Day. What the fuck are they going to think now?”

“Luna, darling, you cannot control the thoughts and opinions of others," he says, his hand gently stroking my hair in a comforting gesture. "Believe me, I've tried. It's a wasted endeavor that leads only to isolation or desperation.”

Mac takes my hand, his large fingers engulfing mine. “My darling girl, Luna, those lads knew full well the challenges that would come with loving you. They're no fools. They understand and accept the risks.”

"But what if?—"

"No," Mac interrupts, his voice gentle but firm. "Cast aside the ‘what ifs.’ They’ll not be doing you any good.” He looks at me intently.

“Tell me true, you love those boys with all your heart, don't you?"

"More than anything," I reply instantly.

"And they love you?" he questions. I hesitate.

"Yeah, I think they do."

“What the fuck do you mean, think?” Mac raises an eyebrow, his tone incredulous. "What in heaven's name do you mean by that?"

“Well, they haven’t exactly said it, Mac. Sometimes you don’t have to. You just know.” I shrug my shoulders, because you can also be damn sure I wasn’t saying it first.

Mac’s muttering in a language I can’t even understand has the last bit of tension escaping me. I lean in, laying my head on Mac’s big shoulder. This is exactly what I needed.

“You’re a bunch of idjits, that’s what I think,” he says, pulling me in a little closer before he goes to stand, tugging me with him and holding my hand tightly as he looks at me.

“Listen closely, darling. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it. You need to tell those boys how you feel. They deserve to hear those words from you.”

"Thanks, Mac. I needed to hear that." Tears sting my eyes.

“If you start crying, I'll leave you here to sort yourself out,” he says, pulling away. His ability to make me laugh chases back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

“Now, let's get you ready to face those vultures. Show 'em what my Luna darling is made of.”