Mark (Next Generation Carter Brother #9)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Freya

The entire world around me seems to be moving in slow motion as I drag my feet towards the car waiting to take Nanna and I to the airport.

For a split second this morning, there was a moment when everything was still blissfully perfect. A smile lifted the corner of my lips as I reached out to wake up Mark. Only, my hand didn’t touch his bicep. It was Nanna’s. Everything came flooding back, stealing my breath away. One lone tear trickled down my cheek, and before I knew it, I couldn’t hold them back. Nanna, waking up from the bed shaking with my silent sobs, pulled me into her arms and held me.

Mum and Dad tried to see me late last night but I locked myself in the bathroom, refusing to come out.

Every time Nanna tried to tell me what they had said, I stopped her, refusing to listen to how my parents are justifying Esther’s actions. They always do. I don’t want to listen to their lies. I’m struggling enough to believe Mark would do that to me. If I hadn’t seen what I saw, I wouldn’t believe it. That’s how much faith I had in him. I don’t want to confront him and be the girl who stupidly believes their partner’s lies. And I would believe them, and I would forgive him. That’s what hurts the most. I’ve never given anyone a second chance but I desperately want to give it to him. I miss him. I miss his teasing and him constantly needing to touch me. I miss having to fight for my food like a cat guards her treats. I miss how he can make me feel, and the adrenaline rush and need that ran through me when he got me to let down my guard.

I miss his smile and boisterous laugh.

I miss smoothing down the crease between his eyes when he would get frustrated with his family teasing him.

I miss him so much my heart aches.

Yet I can still see him knelt between her legs. It’s engraved into my mind. No matter how many times Nanna told me it wasn’t what I thought it was, I couldn’t stop picturing them together.

When Esther walked into our parents’ dining room, holding Danny’s hand, it took my mind a moment to register what I was seeing. Then the shock of what they had done, hit me. My sister is meant to be the one person who would never shit on me like that. But this feels a trillion times worse. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train and I’m paralysed, forced to feel every little bit of hurt she has caused.

Once upon a time, she was one of my favourite people. Now she’s no longer a person I recognise.

A warm hand reaches for mine, unlinking my fingers gripping the handle of my case. I shake my thoughts away, focusing on Nanna. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

She pats my arm, unable to hide her look of concern. “I’ve got you, darlin’.”

“Freya! Freya! Wait!” Esther yells.

My back stiffens as I slowly turn around to find her racing up from the port. My blood runs cold, and my hands begin to shake at the sight of her.

“We should go,” Nanna tells me.

Esther eyes the bag in Nanna’s hand. “Where are you two going?”

“Home,” Nanna answers, her tone cold.

Esther glances at me, and I tense at the pity staring back at me. “Is this about yesterday? It was a mistake. A big one. I thought Danny and I had broken up. I tried to say no to Mark, but he kept whispering words of comfort and one thing led to another. I regret it. I do. But he kept going on about how much he was attracted to me and I was in a bad place. I knew you two weren’t serious and I pushed him away before it went any further.”

All I hear is me, me, me, and before I can stop myself, I’m raising my fist, aiming straight for her nose.

Her hands lifts to her nose, trying to stop the blood gushing over her mouth and chin as she stares at me in contempt. “You bitch.”

She steps forward, going to shove me, but I get there first. I scream at her, letting all the rage I should have felt last night consume me. Before I know it, we are on the ground, rolling around, pulling hair, but I make sure to get a few slaps in.

I land on top of her, pinning her arms to the side of her head as I scream in her face. “I hate you. I didn’t think I was capable of hating someone this much.”

“Get over yourself,” she yells, trying to get free. “It’s not the first time your ex has wanted me.”

“Is that what last night was about? You proving you could take someone from me? Because I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if someone can take my man, they can keep him. You disgust me.”

“You hate that I have Danny. I saw you all over him the other night. You actually made me believe you when you said you were over it.”

I grip her face and lean in close. “This may be difficult for you to grasp, and I promise, if I gave two fucks I’d draw you a picture, but I wouldn’t want Danny if it was the only way I could survive. He disgusts me just as much as you do. So you can keep him, because I’m telling you now, I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire. You and me, we are done. I never want to see your face again,” I choke out, and for a moment, I see a flash of panic and remorse. “You make me sick. I would never have treated you this way. And if I had known Danny was the guy you liked, I would have stepped aside, not rubbed it in your face. I hate you, Esther. I hate you!”

“Get off her!” Danny yells. “What the fuck do you think you are doing? She’s doing you a favour by coming out here to tell you Mark tried it on with her.”

I let out a dry laugh as I get to my feet. “Is that what she told you?”

He glances from me to Esther, and when Esther looks away, he turns back to me. “What are you talking about?”

I shake my head, feeling the same pity Esther felt for me. “I feel sorry for you. For both of you. You got together on lies and deceit, then expect your relationship to be something different.”

“Come on, honey, let’s go home,” Nanna gently orders.

I stop her from pulling me away. “No, not before I finally get out what I’ve been keeping in all these years.” I turn to Danny, not feeling an ounce of remorse. “You weren’t the only person she was sleeping with when we broke up. And the baby? Was never real. I should know because we shared a bathroom and she was still taking her contraception pill. And Mark never tried it on with her. I walked in with him between her legs and her bikini top was missing.”

His cheeks flame red as his jaw clenches. “You’re lying!”

“Is she?” Nanna questions. “Because Mark confirmed Esther orchestrated the entire thing to make Freya believe they were doing the naughty. Ask yourself why everyone is ignoring my granddaughter today. It’s because they are disgusted by her actions,” Nanna reveals. “And all she has to do to prove there was a baby is get a printed copy of her medical history.”

“You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” Esther hisses. “And Mark’s lying. He tried it on with me and now he’s trying to get out of it.”

I badly want to believe my nanna, because deep down, I still don’t believe he would do that to me. It’s why I’ve been struggling to grasp what I saw. His hatred for my sister runs deep and he barely knows her. You can’t fake that. But I still saw what I saw and I don’t want to believe anyone else again.

I turn to my sister. “Did you know Danny never planned to be with you after our breakup? He thought it would put me in line and make me want what he wanted. When it backfired, he went to the next best thing.”

“He loves me,” she grits out.

I lean forward, forcing a smile. “But not as much as he loved my mouth around his cock.”

“You fucking bitch.”

Danny pulls her back when she goes to slap me. “I think that’s enough, Freya.”

“Oh, it’s not. I’m not even done,” I snap before turning to Esther. “He left me a voicemail the week after you announced being together, pleading with me to take him back. He kept texting me, trying to call for ages after that night too. But your insecurities and paranoia were for nothing because I wouldn’t let him touch me with someone else’s dick.”

“Enough!” he roars. “You’ve said enough.”

“Not nearly enough,” I scream. “Is this what you wanted? Was this your way of hurting me the entire time? By taking away my family?”

“It has—”

“Nothing to do with me because you love her,” I tell him, using a sickly-sweet voice. “You two wouldn’t know what love is if it hit you in the face.”

“I told you she was jealous,” Esther accuses.

I snort. “Hate to break your heart, but I’m feeling a lot of things about you two right now and jealousy isn’t on that list. Angry, murderous, hatred? I feel those in waves. They are the words you are looking for.” I glance back to Danny, eyeing him up and down with my lip curled. “You told me I didn’t pay you enough attention and that’s why you broke up with me. I’m actually glad I let you talk first that night, because otherwise I would have been none-the-wiser about your cheating arse. As I was going to tell you I had been spending loads of time with Summer because she had a cancer scare. But what you did was better than her all clear news. I would wish you both happiness, but you aren’t even off your honeymoon and one of you is already trying to fuck other men and the other pays more attention to what his wife’s sister is doing than his own wife.”

“We aren’t done,” Esther growls when I turn around.

I glance at Danny. “I’d hold her back if I were you, because if I get my hands on her, I won’t be able to stop myself from strangling the fucking life out of her,” I spit out, then turn to Esther. “Don’t ever come near me again. We aren’t sisters. We’ve never been friends. You’re dead to me. But I do hope the divorce is long and miserable for you.”

Nanna opens the taxi door open and I slide inside. I glance out the window, staring straight ahead.

Nanna takes my shaking hand in hers. “Are you okay?”

I glance out the window, not letting her see how badly I’m hurting. They are the last tears I will shed over that woman. “I hate her, Nanna. I never want to see her again.”

“I know, sweetie. I know.”

*** *** ***

One of the three lights in the hallway flickers on and off, a low buzzing sound echoing from above as I walk towards my front door. I send a brief glance towards Mark’s door, refusing to let myself get emotional as I quietly let myself into my flat.

Aside from the lamp on the little table next to the door, the rest of the flat is encased in darkness. Which means Summer is out.

Meow!

I glance down at Mellow, a genuine smile reaching my lips as I bend down to pick him up. “I missed you,” I coo, shoving my face into his fur. I smell the raspberry shampoo on him, which has my smile growing wider. “Did you give Summer shit for bathing you?”

Another meow.

“Let’s lay down.”

I keep him clutched in one hand under my arm whilst dragging the case behind me, heading to my room. It’s exactly as I left it aside from Summer going around with a vacuum and putting my clothes away.

I close the door behind me and make my way to bed. I lie down, keeping Mellow beside me. “Did you miss me too?”

He begins to purr, kneading the blanket beneath him. “Yeah, baby, I’m happy to be home too.”

My mind runs over Nanna’s words about Mark. I wanted so badly to ask what she meant when she said Esther orchestrated the entire thing. The hurt and anger boiling in my stomach stopped me from asking those questions. Even before she got out of the taxi, she asked me again if I wanted to hear what happened. I told her no, terrified it won’t be what I desperately want to hear. Now I’m alone, in a place I feel safe, I want to know what she did.

I’ve been lied to so many times, but this feels different. It feels like someone has punched through my chest and has my heart in a vice.

I need the pain to stop.

I need the tears to stop flowing.

I want to breathe without it catching in my chest.

But most of all, I want to turn back time, so I didn’t see them together in his room.