Me and My Christmas Familiar (An MM Monster Christmas)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

K it rubbed his face against Lachlan’s smooth, toned chest, contentment and glee bubbling up inside him. They’d been lying together in bed, as they so often did.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Kit,” Lachlan said to Kit. “I love you.”

And every bone, muscle, nerve, and fibre of Kit’s being yearned to say the exact same words to Lachlan.

He tried with all his heart. But all that came out was a pitiful meow.

It wasn’t enough. He needed Lachlan to know how he felt! Kit needed to say the words. And then, from somewhere deep inside him, something awakened, an ability he’d forgotten long ago.

Bones creaked. Muscles stretched and contorted. Skin and fur rearranged. His body ached as he transformed and shifted. Then he was a human, like he had been in the before.

“I love you so much, Lachlan,” Kit whispered. “My witch. I love you!”

Suddenly, Lachlan scrambled out from under him, backing up against the head of the bed. Lachlan’s face paled. “Who…are you?” His voice shook.

Kit’s throat clenched. A nervous laugh escaped him. “I… I’m Kit. I’m your familiar.”

Lachlan shook his head. His mouth moved, but nothing came out.

“It’s all right.” Kit supposed it must be a bit of a shock, now that Kit thought about it.

Lachlan had yet to see him like this. Honestly, it was a bit of a shock to Kit too. He’d forgotten what it felt like to be human.

But Kit was still himself. Still Lachlan’s familiar. Still in love with Lachlan. In a few seconds, Lachlan would realise this, and everything would be fine.

Kit scooted closer, reaching out for Lachlan. “It’s me. It’s your Kit.”

Lachlan’s eyes bulged. He gave a jerky shake of his head. He half fell from the bed with a thud and sprinted to the door. He yanked it open.

“Grady!” Lachlan screamed.

Kit flinched.

“Grady!” Then Lachlan fled the room.

Kit heard voices.

He knelt on the bed, uncertainty and worry circling in his gut.

Footsteps pounded outside the door, mixed with urgent whispers.

Kit wrung his hands. Grady appeared in his undershorts in the doorway. His mouth dropped. Lachlan followed. Then came Uzoth. Everyone else seemed to crowd behind them. Everyone stared at Kit.

Kit shrank in on himself. He looked to Lachlan, but Lachlan didn’t look back. A whine escaped him.

Grady went to a cupboard and opened the door. He pulled out a robe and handed it to Kit. “Here, put this on.”

Swallowing, Kit pulled the robe on. But he had trouble using his fingers. They moved clumsily. He’d forgotten how to use them.

Kit sat back on his and Lachlan’s bed. Grady sat opposite him on Jack’s. Lachlan hadn’t moved since he entered. He still hadn’t looked at Kit.

“Lachlan,” Kit whispered.

Finally, Lachlan looked to him.

“Please, sit.” Kit patted the spot next to him. If Lachlan would just sit next to him, then maybe he’d relax.

Lachlan’s uncertainty bled through the bond.

“Please,” Kit whispered.

After a moment’s hesitation, Lachlan sat. But he remained as far from Kit as possible on the bed.

Kit bit his lip.

“What is going on?” Grady asked Kit.

Reluctantly, Kit turned his gaze to Grady. Kit didn’t know what to say to him.

“Are you a shifter?” Wulfric asked from outside the room.

“A shifter?” Words felt so weird in Kit’s mouth.

“Are you a cat shifter?” Briar stepped forward, Wulfric behind him.

What is a shifter? “I’m Lachlan’s familiar.” Kit turned to Lachlan and gave him a tight smile.

Lachlan’s brows furrowed. He looked away. Kit could feel his unease.

Kit scooted up next to him and leaned towards him. He tried to touch Lachlan, tried to comfort him like he always did. His touch always soothed his witch. But Lachlan’s eyes widened. He almost fell off the bed, trying to get away from Kit.

Kit froze. He dropped his hand, eyes stinging.

“What’s your name?” Grady asked after several moments of silence.

He blinked rapidly. “Kit.” He gripped his knees tightly, hands trembling. “You know my name.”

Why do they all stare at me like I am a stranger? Why is Lachlan afraid of me?

Tears welled in his eyes. “ Lachlan called me Kit.” His throat tightened painfully. “He gave me my name.” After so long without one, of just being a “cat,” a lost and lonely stray on the streets, he’d found Lachlan, and Lachlan had given him his name. “I’m Kit. I’m Lachlan’s familiar.”

Grady knelt in front of him, but Kit didn’t look into his eyes. He just kept his watery gaze on his hands.

“And what about before that?” Grady was asking about the before. Kit didn’t want to talk about the before. He glanced to Lachlan, as if for help.

But Lachlan still didn’t speak and still didn’t look at him.

“Lachlan,” Kit whined.

Lachlan made a sound. His eyes skittered to Kit before he looked away again. His hands were clasped tightly together in his lap. Kit wanted to reach out, touch him. But Lachlan didn’t want that now. He didn’t want Kit now.

He let out a shaky breath, body slumping.

“Were you a cat for a long time?” Wulfric asked.

Kit frowned, unsure what Wulfric meant. “I am a cat.”

“But you’ve been a human, like this”—Wulfric gestured to him—“before, haven’t you?”

Kit nodded slowly. “I have walked on two legs. I had no fur.” The memories felt less flowing, less wispy in this shape. He could follow the threads of thoughts and memories, which usually disappeared when he walked in his other form. “In the before.”

“Before?” Grady pressed.

Kit glanced at Lachlan, who still sat so far away. Maybe if Kit kept answering the questions, Lachlan would become less uncertain and realise Kit was still Lachlan’s familiar, still his Kit, still his cat even when he walked on two legs and had no fur.

“Before the streets,” Kit said. “Before I walked amongst the buildings that piled on top of one another. Before then, I walked through trees, many, many trees. There was lots of food to catch and eat. And before that…” He paused as he sought the word. “…a farm.”

“And that was a long time ago?” Briar asked.

“Yes.” Kit nodded. “Many winters. Many summers.”

“And when was the last time you were like this?” Wulfric gestured to Kit.

“Long before the city,” Kit said.

Wulfric nodded. He glanced around the room. “If a shifter stays too long in one form, they can forget their other.” He looked at Lachlan. “After a long time, it’s said they can’t change back. Sometimes it becomes impossible for them.”

“I had to change so I could speak,” Kit said. “It was hard. It was painful. I couldn’t remember how. But I had to shift to speak words.” Kit turned his whole body to face Lachlan, and Kit leaned towards him. “I had to tell you I loved you too.”

Lachlan looked at him then.

Kit had found the words to explain everything that had happened. He smiled as pride filled him. He lowered his head to rub it against Lachlan’s chest.

Lachlan snapped back. He stood, eyes wide with horror.

Kit couldn’t breathe. His heart lurched. “Lachlan. Why…why won’t you let me touch you?”

Lachlan panted. “I…” He trailed off, mouth moving but no sound coming out. He shook his head.

Grady cleared his throat. “Maybe we should all rest. Go to sleep and process what has happened. I think tonight has been a lot for everyone.”

Lachlan nodded. Kit’s hands itched with the need to touch and hold Lachlan.

“You could take my bed tonight, Lachlan,” Grady said.

“What? No!” Kit’s hands clenched. “Why won’t you sleep with me in our bed?” Tears fell from his eyes. Lachlan had told him he’d care for him and look after him.

“I just… I need a little…” Lachlan’s chest rose and fell quickly.

Confusion, pain, and hurt swelled through the bond. Those feelings belonged to Lachlan. But they mirrored Kit’s own. His hands shook.

“Please.” Kit’s hands shook.

Lachlan closed his eyes and let out a breath. “I… I’ll sleep in here,” Lachlan rushed out. “But in Jack’s bed. And you can sleep in mine.”

Kit wanted to say no. He wanted to beg for them to share the same bed. He wanted to be held. He needed to be held by his witch. And Lachlan needed him too! He needed to let Kit comfort him.

They both needed each other so they wouldn’t be alone!

A sob escaped Kit.

But Lachlan wanted to sleep apart. So Kit just stared at Lachlan, tears running down his face, body shaking.

Cas, who’d remained silent throughout, flew into the room. He leaned down and placed a hand on Kit’s shoulder. “It will be all right, Kit.”

Kit squeezed his eyes shut. More tears fell. He didn’t want Cas comforting him and touching him; he wanted Lachlan.

“You both just need time to think,” Cas said so gently.

“Think about what?” Kit’s voice strained.

Kit didn’t want to think. He didn’t need to think. He needed Lachlan to hold him, pet him, tell him he’d always protect him, keep him warm, and tell him he loved him.

But Lachlan turned his back and climbed into Jack’s bed. He pulled the sheets over himself, not looking at Kit. After a moment, the others left.

Grady paused. He stared at Lachlan. He came over to the bed and leaned down, whispering to his brother, too low for Kit to hear. Lachlan said something. Grady stayed where he was for several seconds, then he walked to the door. He looked to Kit.

“You should sleep too,” Grady said.

Kit sat on the bed.

“Goodnight. Sleep well.” Grady hesitated, then he turned off the lantern and closed the door.

Lachlan lay on his side, pulled the blanket over him, and faced the wall. Kit stared at Lachlan’s back in the darkness of the room.

After several moments of excruciating silence, Lachlan spoke, “I’m sorry, Kit. But… I…” He trailed off, and more silence filled the room. “I don’t know what this means.” His voice trembled. “You’re not just a cat anymore.”

Kit shook his head. This changed nothing for him. But clearly it did for Lachlan.

“I’m sorry,” Lachlan repeated.

Kit could feel the confusion of Lachlan’s mind through their bond. But Lachlan didn’t speak or share his thoughts with Kit.

Kit continued to stare at Lachlan. Lachlan wasn’t asleep. His breathing was too shallow. He just pretended to sleep, to trick Kit.

Lachlan needs me. He’s hurting. I need to soothe him.

But Lachlan was hurting because of Kit. And so Kit did not know what to do.