Merry Little Hate Notes

Chapter Twenty-Two

brANDON

WHEN I WALKED INTO DAD’S office, I expected to see only him. I should have known better when he asked to meet with me this morning for no apparent reason.

“Hi, honey.” Mom captured me right away and embraced me.

“Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?” I reciprocated the hug but was wary of her intentions.

Dad smiled at me, seated behind his desk. The way he smiled said I should be very wary.

“I’ve hardly seen you, so I just stopped by to see how you’re doing.”

I leaned away from her, suspicious. “Doing well.”

“Of course you are. We didn’t even hear you come home last night. Things must be going well with Holly.” This was her way of begging me to give her more details.

“I think they are.” Except I didn’t know how to tell Holly how big of a jerk and a liar I was. I kept waiting for her to bring up the kiss, as painful as it would be. Then it would force me to come clean. I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that, just like her mother, I’d purposely hurt her and lied to her. It probably wouldn’t go far in convincing her to change her mind about me. And I hated to lose the ground I’d already gained, or to add to the pain that her mother had left her with.

This past weekend had been the best of my life. Watching Holly’s eyes light up when she found the perfect tree, or hearing her laugh when she swiped frosting across my face while we decorated cookies made me fall even more in love with her. Better yet, when I wiped the frosting off my cheek, ready to retaliate, she licked it off my finger before I could. All I had to say was, Damn. It took everything in me not to pick her up right there and thoroughly kiss her. Then, holding her as she curled into me had me wishing to hold her every night, all night long.

Mom led me over to the chairs in front of Dad’s desk and motioned for me to sit.

I took one chair, and she took the other.

My parents smiled unnaturally at me as if waiting for me to say something. I wasn’t sure what they wanted me to say—so much of what had transpired between Holly and me felt like it should remain between us.

Mom reached over and patted my leg. “So, Holly’s birthday is next week, and I was thinking we should plan something big for it along with our Christmas party.”

Ah. Now we were getting to it.

“It is her birthday.” I’d been thinking about what to get her and what she might want to do to celebrate. Assuming she didn’t find out what a prick I was before then and hate me for it. “But ...” I didn’t know how to break this to my mom. “Um ... I’m not sure Holly will come to the Christmas party.” She’d admitted last night that going to my parents’ house would be difficult under the circumstances. And she was afraid if she visited our old neighborhood, she would realize it wasn’t as magical as her memories. She didn’t want to ruin that. That, I could understand, even if I knew being there with her would be more than magical for me.

Mom’s face fell. “Why not? I thought things were going well.”

“They are. But we are both working through things.” I didn’t feel right about revealing what Holly had shared with me about her mother, especially considering her dad didn’t even know. I still felt sick about it. And even worse, knowing I should have been there for her. I should have told her the truth once Christian died. But I’d wanted to stay loyal to him. Now, more than anything, I wanted to be loyal to Holly. My hope was that Christian, had he lived, would see I wanted nothing more than to make his sister happy, that I would be as protective of her as he was, and that I wasn’t betraying him, but honoring his memory.

“Oh, did you tell her about the kissing thing?”

“No,” I grumbled.

Mom gave me an uneasy smile. “As your wingman, I have to say it’s probably best to ease into that one.”

“Yeah, I know,” I breathed out.

“Well, what can we do to get her to come to the party? I was thinking we could tell everyone to come dressed in nineties fashion and I would serve her favorite foods and ask her dad to make her cake. She always loved that.”

That sounded like something she would love. Just not at my parents’ house or with a bunch of people who knew about her family situation. “Mom, I get the feeling that Holly wants to keep things low key. She doesn’t want people who knew her before to feel sorry for her, and she doesn’t want the people in her present life to know how we are connected to her. At least for now.” Eventually, I hoped we would be able to bring our relationship out in the open. Especially considering I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Mom let out a disappointed sigh. “I can understand that. Maybe we can have a small surprise party for her the night before. Somewhere private, if that would make her feel more comfortable.”

“That could work.” Even though I was thinking of something more intimate for just the two of us. But that would require me being completely honest with her about the past. Maybe a more family-type situation would be best for now until she knew how much I cared about her and that I wasn’t an idiot any longer. It was getting hard being alone with her and not being more physical. I just didn’t feel right about taking it to the next level until she knew the whole truth.

I was hoping this new game of “love notes” would help her see how I truly felt about her. She had no idea how much it meant to me when she said she was smitten with me earlier this morning. I loved that she put a Shakespearean spin on it. I loved her .

“Great. I’ll come up with a few places and let you pick. Can you talk to Harrison about the cake?” Mom asked.

“Sure,” I responded.

“Now. What are you thinking of for a gift? I have some ideas,” Mom was quick to say.

Can’t say that shocked me. “I’m still thinking about it. I want it to be from my heart.” Not my wingman.

“Well, think about this: Wouldn’t it be darling if you got her a custom star map of the day you two met when she was eight? I remember the exact day they moved in.”

You know, I hated to say it, but that was a good idea. I wasn’t sure, though, if I should admit that to my mom. It only fed the monster inside her. I nodded, playing it cool. “What other ideas do you have?” I thought I should check for good measure.

Mom’s eyes lit up. “You should definitely send her a bouquet with holly in it. Did you know it’s one of December’s birth flowers?”

I recalled Dr. Harry saying something about that a long time ago. “Not a bad thought,” I said casually, a little irked that my mom was proving to be a good wingman in this area. Or at least better in the romance department than I was.

“Oh, and I had this thought—you should get matching Christmas pajamas. Wouldn’t that be the cutest?”

Again, that was pretty good. Except that would mean I would want to wear them with her. That would probably lead us down a path I definitely wanted to go down, but could I convince her in the next week and a half that while I was a jerk, I was a jerk who loved her and would do everything in my power never to hurt her again? That was probably going to take a Christmas miracle.

“I’ll think about these ideas,” I offered, even though I knew I would probably do everything she’d suggested. “I should probably get back to work.”

“Just a moment,” my dad finally chimed in. “I’d like to speak to you about your plans moving forward now that you’re staying. We should probably discuss Holly’s as well. I’m not sure if it makes sense for you two to continue working together if you’re dating.”

“I agree with you. ”

Mom and Dad both looked taken aback.

“Don’t get me wrong,” I added. “I love working with Holly. She’s incredible, but that’s the problem. She’s too good for this job.”

“I’ve tried to promote her several times,” Dad defended.

“I know. But honestly, I don’t think her heart is here.”

“What are you saying?” Dad asked.

“I think we need to prepare ourselves for Holly leaving.”

“Has she said something to you?” Mom asked.

Not in so many words. But I read between the lines when she had spoken about her mom. And I’d seen her in action. Someday, Holly was going to realize she could have her dream. For her sake, I hoped it was sooner rather than later. “It’s not what she’s saying—it’s who she is. For as good a BDR as she is, it’s not her.”

“Do you want me to fire her?” Dad seemed uncomfortable with the thought.

“Of course not. Nor do I want to work with anyone besides her until she decides what her next steps are. I just wanted to warn you.” For the next bombshell, I folded my arms and looked straight at my father. “Once Holly leaves, I’d like to be moved into an executive role. I believe I’ve earned it.”

Dad and Mom grinned at each other as if there were some inside joke between them. What did that mean?

“I’ve just been waiting for you to come home and ask,” Dad informed me.

Mom reached over and took my hand with misty eyes. “We’re so proud of you.”

I squeezed Mom’s hand, thinking that had been easier than I thought it would be. “Thank you.”

“You deserve it, son.” Dad beamed with pride.

No matter how old I was, my parents’ approval meant the world to me. I stood, feeling a little taller. “We’ll discuss terms later. Right now, I need to go make a gingerbread house with the woman I love.” Not to mention listen to her serenade our coworkers.

“That’s so sweet,” Mom cried. “And it’s all because of me. You can thank me later.”

“I’m going to thank you now.” I laughed. “Thank you.” I kissed her head.

I just hoped all her scheming didn’t go to waste once Holly learned the truth about me.