Midnight Daffodil (Poisonous Petals #1)

Chapter 15Luke

fifteen

LUKE

T he sinking feeling in my gut deepened when I heard Olivia vomiting. The not so silent wretching ramped up the anxiety that was starting to settle in my veins. The night replayed in my mind, and I couldn’t place where I’d gone wrong.

But hearing her like that split my heart in two. I wanted to make whatever I wronged right.

Her big brown eyes filled with tears as she looked up at me. “Please.”

“Tell me what you’re thinkin’, angel.”

She chewed her bottom lip. Her eyes searched the room for something I couldn’t place. She warred with herself. A battle she thought she had to fight alone. But she wasn’t alone now. She had me in any and every form she’d take me.

“I have to go,” she said. “Please, move.”

I moved, not wanting to crowd her. Like running from Satan himself, she made her way out of the room, leaving a trail of dust behind her. Her footsteps thudded on the stairs in her haste. I snatched the black tee off the floor and ran after her. My heart stampeded in my chest.

This can’t be happening.

My stomach was sick as I glimpsed Olivia’s figure, making her way to the front door. Everything I ever wanted out of life was dangled before me. Life let me taste her, hold her, only to tear her from my arms, and for what? I couldn’t make sense of anything that was happening.

“Olivia, wait!” My voice sounded weak as she paused with her hand on the doorknob.

“What?” she asked quietly, not turning around. Her trembling hand tore me apart.

“I don’t understand.” I blew out a breath. “Did I do something wrong?”

Every touch of my hands on her was meant to make her feel good. I thought last night was something we both wanted. We were tangled in one another’s arms all night; her perfect body curled into mine seamlessly while we shared details of our lives. It meant more to me than she could understand.

And now this.

I don’t understand.

“You didn’t do anything. I–” she stopped, still not turning around. “I made a mistake.”

The four words stabbed through me in gut wrenching pain. Her scent, scratches, and fingerprints were all imprinted in my bed. On my skin. With every flex of my muscles, I felt whispers of her. My brain couldn’t process what went wrong.

“Not to me, it wasn’t.” My voice wavered, and I felt my heart break. “It was everything to me. ”

I knew this had less to do with me and more with the trauma Matt had caused. I’d give her anything in the world. Time included. But I couldn’t bear having her walk out on me right now. Not like this…not for forever.

“I—” She shook her head, only half responding. “I just have to leave.” She turned the knob and rushed down the porch stairs, stumbling down them in her bare feet.

My shoeless feet slammed against the ground, each step faster than the last. Tiny splinters pierced my heels, but I barely noticed. All that mattered was reaching her, determination driving me forward. My hand caught her arm, wrapping around the slender limb. She whirled around, her glare landing on me.

“Please, just talk to me.” I brushed the falling tears away with my thumb. The trail they left weren’t the marks I wanted her to leave with.

“There isn’t anything to say. I have to leave. I shouldn’t have come over last night; I should’ve never left. It’s not safe.” The tears continued to fall. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let go. I could feel her slipping away.

“Angel, you never have to worry about me. I’m not scared of him,” I said, wrapping my arms around her. “I’d take any hit he threw if it meant sparing you pain.”

She wriggled free of my grasp; a pang shot through my chest as her eyes darted away from mine. She didn’t need to say a word; her intentions clearer than our future. She didn’t want me to hold her; she wanted to leave.

“Let me go,” she said as she pushed me. She couldn’t have moved me if I resisted, but I felt the weight of her request and stepped aside, letting her go. “We had sex. We spent one night together. We aren’t in a relationship. You don’t know me,” she enunciated each syllable as she spat out the words. “I think it’s better to keep it that way before someone gets hurt.”

My jaw went slack. Last night was the highlight of my life. The way she sucked me in and let me hold her sure felt like it’d meant something to her too. Yet she spoke about it vulgarly and casually, leaving me wondering if I was the one who fell too hard, too fast.

She fought everything in her that told her to stay with me. To choose me.

“I may not know you as well now, but I want to. I want to know everything. I want to be with you. I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore,” I pleaded with her. “I could never imagine hurting you.”

I was pathetic, but every time I looked at Olivia, I thought about all the ways she deserved to be treated. All the ways I could treat her.

Olivia pulling away from me felt like losing oxygen. My lungs threatened to collapse at the break. Matt’s twisted brainwashing on her was playing right into his hands. There wasn’t much in this world I was desperate for, but every fiber of my being craved Olivia.

I was losing her before I even got her.

“Luke.” My name off her lips was the answer to every prayer, but our faith was tested. She closed her eyes as if not seeing me would make this moment any easier. “I already told you he’d never let me go. I can’t just be with you.”

“But you can; I’m here, willing.” I stepped closer. The icy morning air bit into my skin. She shivered, arms tightly crossed. “Please come back inside and talk to me. Please. I know you’re terrified.” I bit the inside of my cheek. Choosing my next words with caution. “I just want you to talk to me.”

“There isn’t much to say. You wouldn’t understand,” Olivia said, defeated.

“I may not understand, but I’d like to. Let me do what I can for you.” I rubbed my hands up and down her arms to warm her flesh. The thin sweatshirt did nothing to shield her from the brisk air.

“Luke, you can’t. You don’t know him like I do. He told me—” She pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. Her eyes closed, and her lower lip trembled. “He told me if I slept with you, he’d kill me.”

My blood boiled.

The world turned a raging shade of red as I tried to guide her back into my house.

“Olivia, if he threatened you, I can help you. Let me keep you safe.”

I couldn’t send her into his arms after having her beneath me. After I held her, felt her, fell for her.

“You know who he is.”

“It doesn’t matter who he is. He can’t control you. He can’t threaten you; he can’t take you from me,” I said, leaning into her, breathing in her scent. “Please, come back inside with me.”

She shook like a leaf in a hurricane. Her messy blonde curls blew in the breeze. A thick overcast hung over Seattle, making the world look foggy. She became the only thing in my sight, as if tunnel vision had taken over and focused solely on her. She felt like the missing piece I longed for, slipping away from me at high speed.

“I can’t. Luke, I have to go.” She turned, barely glancing over her shoulder at me.

I was dumbstruck. My heart shattered in my chest with every step she took.

Matt was dangerous. I would risk everything to keep her safe from him. I’d gladly give my life if I thought it would be enough to save hers.

She was half way down the driveway when I ran to catch up with her. “What’re you just gonna walk?”

I no longer had the mental stamina to stay calm. My limbs burned in the biting cold, each gust of wind feeling like needles against my skin. My heart hammered in my head, drawing out all rational thoughts. Panic had an iron grip on my heart, constricting every breath I took.

“I can’t have you drive me.” She pulled out her phone and started typing away on it, probably sending a message to Vera.

“Couldn’t he track that?” I tried to stall her. I hadn’t found the magic words that would make her stay, but fuck I’d try until the very last second.

“No, this phone’s from Vera.”

“Did you keep my number?” Clingy feelings surged within, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

She didn’t look up at me as her head bobbed once.

“What can I do to make you stay? I’ll do whatever you want if you just stay.” Running a nervous hand through my hair, I silently pleaded with the higher powers. My reflection in her eyes mirrored the disheveled mess I felt inside.

“Nothing.”

One word hurt the most.

Horrific images of her going back to Matt and what that could mean for her played like a fucking Serbian Film in my head. Every time I blinked, I saw her lifeless stare after he mutilated her.

“Olivia, I know you thought last night was nothing, but”— it was everything to me —“last year, I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” The embarrassing word vomit continued to tumble off my lips. “I've never cared about anyone the way I care about you. I want to know everything about you and see you happy. For you,” I swallowed thick, “I would do anything.”

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip to stop the trembling.

“I don’t understand everything you’re going through, but you deserve someone who can express their feelings with words, not fists. Someone whose affection you wear proudly. Not in the form of bruises.” I thumbed away more tears. “Someone who wants to chase away your sadness, not cause it.”

My hands cupped her face. I kissed her forehead and her sweet little nose. I kissed everywhere I could, yearning for her to stay. Holding on to the pipedream that somehow my words would sink in and she’d change her mind.

She cried harder.

“I don’t know what I’d do if he hurt you again,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. “I don’t want to get that dispatch call.” My voice broke. “Olivia, please.”

Her hand gently squeezed mine as she finally kissed me back.

My heart ached with hope.

“Please, just stay with me,” I said, in a voice I didn’t recognize.

Her body trembled in my arms as the sky opened up. Drizzle and wind whipped around us as the heavy gloom thickened in the crisp morning air. The sound of an engine caught my attention, stealing it from Olivia. I braced myself to shield her with my body.

Did he track her here?

Part of me hoped it was Matt. My muscles twitched with the need to hit something, to hit him .

The sound ricocheted closer as the cherry red Lexus pulled into the driveway.

Vera.

“I’m so sorry, Luke. I never meant to do this to you,” she sobbed, slipping out of my grasp. Her bare feet sprinted across the driveway to the car, where she flung herself into the passenger seat.

Failure suffocated me as she slammed the door on everything I didn't realize I needed until I had it. Agony poured down on me as the sky wept harder. It soaked through my clothing, icy prickles of water stung my skin.

The red SUV skidded out of the driveway, disappearing in a heartbeat. Time slipped away, minutes bled into hours, leaving me unaware of how much time I spent staring down at an empty driveway.

Obscene images of her death flickered in my mind, interspersed with vivid flashbacks of our night together, the warmth of her touch, the sound of her laughter. I wished to catapult myself back in time and feel those moments again.

Rev barked and nudged my hand. The tingle of numbness permeated my muscles. Radio white noise sounded in my head as I dragged myself inside. My feet went numb in the puddle of rainwater on the floor. Feeling like I had just closed the door on any chance of happiness, I leaned back against the front door; fatigue crippled my body.

If he kills her, it’s going to be your fault.

I lost her.