Mind Pucked (Chicago Blue Jays #1)

16. Jackson

16

JACKSON

I watch my mother and father play with Hayden on the living room floor. They don’t love the fact that her arm is hurt, but they understand that accidents happen. It’ll be no time before our little girl is back to normal.

As I watch them interact with my daughter, I realize that I’m thankful for them. I’m lucky to still have my mom and dad. I love them dearly, and even though my mom doesn’t know how to slow her mouth sometimes, she really is one of the best people I know.

Despite Amelia being gone a while now, I haven’t found the perfect time to talk to them about our relationship. The trio are now on the floor with coloring books and crayons. I have trouble getting on the floor with her anymore and I’m an athlete. My parents are twenty-five years older than me and still get down on the floor with her.

In my mother’s defense, it’s been several months since they’ve gotten to see either one of us. It’s nice to see them, but I want them to know about Amelia. She deserves for them to know, and they deserve to know that I…for the first time in years…am happy.

I know they worry about me—my mother more than my father. She’s been worried about me ever since Lyla passed away. I know deep down she wishes there was a way to take the pain away, just as much as I wish that Hayden would never get hurt, but life simply doesn’t work that way.

“When are we going to dinner, love?” my mother asks, looking up at me from where she sits on the floor.

I give her a small smile, but it’s all I can do.

“I want to wait for Amelia so she can go with us,” I admit as I look at my phone again to see how long she’s been gone. “I’m going to head up to my room to get ready…if she isn’t back in the next twenty minutes, we’ll head out.” Though I don’t want to leave at all without her.

She nods and goes back to playing with Hayden. I run up to my room and sit on the bed. I know I asked Amelia to go shopping to get a moment to herself and get over my mother being…well, my mother, but she’s taking far too long.

I try to call her number. I’ve texted her twice and I don’t want her to think I’m some crazy controlling man, because she can shop as long as she’d like, but now I’m worried that something has happened to her.

In a way, I think I must have some form of post traumatic stress or something. I didn’t think that until I got the call that she and Hayden were at the hospital. I panicked so quickly then, and now I’m doing something similar as I worry about Amelia being out there alone and not answering the phone.

When she doesn’t answer, I toss my phone back onto the bed and get up to change my clothes. I told my mother that’s what I’m doing, so I figure a change of clothes is needed to make it look like I’m not about to lose my mind here.

Once I’ve changed, I pace back and forth along the carpet in front of my bed, hoping like hell she calls me or sends a text. I reach down and call again…once, twice, a third time before I decide the twenty-minute time frame I gave my mother has come and passed.

I walk down the steps to meet the smiling faces of my parents and Hayden who is already standing at the door with her shoes on.

“Where’s Amelia?” Hayden asks with her little voice. She seems worried, more worried than I’ve ever seen her before.

“She’ll be back a little later tonight,” I say, praying it’s not a lie and that it’s enough of a revelation to appease my little girl.

I try my hardest not to make a habit of lying to my daughter. I want her to grow up to be honest, and I feel the only way I can do that is if I show her how to do it. I hope she never learns how to lie.

In no time, my parents and I decide on a seafood restaurant in town. I text Amelia the address and name of the restaurant in case she decides she wants to meet us. I’m trying not to freak out in front of my parents, but worry has turned to straight-up fear.

We order our food, and the entire time my mother is eyeing me as if she wants to ask me something but doesn’t want to say it in front of Hayden or something.

“So, how are things shaping up going into playoffs?” my father asks as he takes a bite of his seafood.

“It looks like we’re set up nicely for the first rounds,” I admit, thankful for the distraction. “You should see Felix—he’s gotten so much better.”

“We saw replays from the last game, you made that shot that was top cheddar,” my mother adds, and it’s strange to hear her using hockey slang. “I’ve never seen something so exciting.” She sounds like a cheerleader, and that is exactly what she has always been for me.

Sure, my father and I can talk hockey all day long, but normally when my mom adds her part in, it comes out strained. She wants to be able to talk to me about it but has to come up with words like top cheddar , which is the correct term, but strange coming from her.

My mother is a neat lady, never breaking a sweat for much…other than maybe for Hayden. My father, on the other hand, taught me how to play the game. He’s worked as hard as I have for me to invest my time and energy into this life.

“Yeah, that was a good game,” I say. “Coach has really changed things up by implementing plays that are new to most of us. We’ve managed some scrimmages that have shown some of the guys’ strengths and helped build morale.” I’m glad to be talking to my parents about all this, but deep down I’m still worried about Amelia.

“That’s good to hear.” My dad smiles at me over a sip of beer. “I like your coach enough…he’s a good man, but when he let that one kid take that penalty last month, I about came unglued.”

“You and the rest of us, Dad,” I say as I realize Hayden is tugging on my shirt to get my attention.

I lean down to talk to her. I can tell she has something big to say, but she leans up a little so she’s nearly whispering in my ear.

“Hey, Daddy,” she says softly, “where’s Amelia?”

“She’s doing some shopping and enjoying her time off,” I say softly, though I’m not so convinced. Hayden must be just as worried as I am. This is the second time she’s asked about Amelia tonight.

“Otay, Daddy.” She smiles. “Can I go see the lobsters?” She turns and points to the tank of lobsters.

“Sure,” I say with a small smile. “I’ll take you to go see them.” I push my chair out a little to get up and join her.

“No, Daddy,” she says as she gets up from the table and walks around to my dad. “I want Papa to take me to go see them.” She offers him her little hand and he takes it, allowing her to pull him from his chair. “We like to name them.” She smiles as she says the last part as if it’s some big secret.

I turn and watch them walk to the tank across the room together, and when I turn back around to face the table and have a drink of my beer, I realize my mother is staring at me. When she leans forward on her hands and bores her eyes into my soul, I know she has something to say.

“Yes, Mother?” I ask teasingly, wondering what exactly has drawn her attention to me like this.

“What’s going on between you and the babysitter?” she asks as she eyes Hayden and my dad, obviously making sure they’re still across the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say in a teasing tone until I realize the use of the term the babysitter . “Wait a minute, Mom…she’s not a babysitter—Hayden loves her, and she was never just a sitter, she was a nanny.”

“Was?” she asks with a raise of her eyebrow.

My mother has never been the judgmental type, though after her earlier comments which upset Amelia, I’m not so sure anymore. I don’t want to hear her opinion if it’s negative, though I suppose I’ll never know unless I come out with it.

She reaches across the table and takes my hand, tender and loving like she used to do when I was a little boy. There’s something about a mother’s love that every son needs—I just don’t need her to say anything negative against Amelia.

I don’t think I can handle it if she does.

I glance over my shoulder, hoping to see Dad and Hayden heading back, but my father has roped one of the workers into getting one of the lobsters out of the tank. Hayden is now petting it with her free hand. Her big smile warms my heart.

“I saw how you catered to her earlier, how you looked at her, and then when I said what I said, you went to her and let her leave when she should have been working.” My mother pauses a moment to take a drink. “There’s something more here. And Hayden…that girl talks about Amelia like she hung the moon…and she says you two kiss.”

“Well, if you must know, Mom, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about all this…yes, Amelia and I are together. I just wanted to find the right time to tell you. It’s not an easy move for me, and I don’t take it lightly.”

“How did all this come about?” she asks as she pulls her hand away.

“It’s a long story,” I say, hoping she’ll let this be the end of it, but deep down I know I have no such luck.

“Well…” She turns toward my daughter and father, who are still at the lobster tank. “Hayden and your father are petting their third crustacean, and it looks like there are at least twelve more in there… so it’s going to be a while.” She smirks.

“Fine,” I groan as I turn toward her again. “What do you want to know? I’m an open book for at least twelve more lobsters.” She laughs a hearty real kind of laugh that makes me feel a little more comfortable.

“Well, it’s clear to see how you look at her, but how did it happen? Did you hire her first, or were you together when you hired her?” Mom wonders. “I mean, either way, I don’t know that you need to pay your girlfriend to watch your child.”

“Well, she was my nanny first, and this is her job, so yeah, I pay her for it,” I say. “I fell for her, and we just sort of happened. She’s great for Hayden, and she has hardly looked at another woman since Lyla died. As much as it hurt me at first, she needs her.”

“And you’re ready to move on all of a sudden? Because last thing I knew, you were still having issues even going out with the guys, let alone dating,” she says. “I mean, I’m glad you’re open to a relationship again, but I have to know that this girl isn’t manipulating you, Jackson…I just want to make sure you and Hayden are okay.”

“We’re fine, Mom, I promise. Amelia isn’t manipulating me in any way, and no, it isn’t easy, and I’m not ready…I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but like it or not, here it is. She makes me happy.” I smile as I look my mother in the eyes. “And back there when you were rude to her, even though I know you didn’t know we were together, it hurt her, because all she wanted was to impress you guys and make a good impression.”

“There will be time for all that,” she says. “I’ll be sure to apologize to her. I should have never said what I said, but truth be told I should have seen it before now.”

“Well, we haven’t been public much, and we’ve just recently decided to make things official, so it’s not like you’re all that late to the party.” I hear Hayden squeal as she and my dad head back to the table. “Did you like the lobsters?” I ask Hayden as she sits down beside me.

“Yes, they let me pet all of them.” She beams up at me from where she sits.

I lean over and kiss her on the top of the head. “That’s great, sweetie.”

She and my dad start talking about the names they picked for the creatures as my mother keeps glancing at me. I know she’s worried about me, but in the end, I’m an adult and Hayden’s father, so I know what’s best for us both.

Right now, I know that’s Amelia, and I’m still worried to death that she hasn’t returned my texts and calls or showed up.

Wherever she’s at, I hope she’s alright. I’ve half convinced myself to let my mom and dad keep Hayden for the night while I go looking for her, but I don’t want to be that protective freak of a boyfriend. But as images of the police walking in at halftime flood through my mind, reminding me of the day Lyla was in the accident…I can’t help but worry.

I just don’t want to know what it’s like to live without Amelia too. I have to remind myself that just because Lyla left Hayden and I here to suffer without her, doesn’t mean Amelia is going to do the same.

I decide that if she’s not back by the time Hayden goes to bed, I’ll go looking for her. I just hope that when I do find her, she’s safe and has a perfectly good explanation for falling off the face of the planet.