Mind Pucked (Chicago Blue Jays #1)

15. Amelia

15

AMELIA

T he next morning after the incident at the hospital, we’re sitting at the table eating breakfast when Jackson speaks for the first time that morning. He seems to be deep in thought before the words tumble out of his mouth.

“Hayden, how about we go out of town for a long weekend and maybe go to the zoo?” Jackson asks. “Grandma and Grandpa might be able to come with us.”

I try not to let the fact that I’m not included in his suggestion hurt me, but deep down it does. I know I can’t expect to be involved in everything they do, but I’d thought maybe he would want me with them. I tell myself not to be insecure about it, that he isn’t used to having a woman in his wife other than his wife, and I don’t need to be ridiculous about it. Hayden’s voice breaks me from my thoughts.

“Sure, Daddy. What about Amelia?” She looks up at him with wide eyes. “She needs to come with us.”

“Oh, no, Hayden. It’s okay,” I say, putting down my fork. “You and your daddy can go and have fun. I’ll be okay here.”

“No, I want you to go with us,” Hayden insists.

My eyes meet Jackson’s, and I can tell he’s worried. He bites his lip as he looks at Hayden and then at me.

“Would you like to come with us, Amelia?” he asks me, soft and low. “We’d love it if you’d come with us.”

I do want to go with them, but knowing that he’s hesitant about it makes me hesitate to answer. It feels like doesn’t want me to come along, but I know it’s most likely all in my head since my insecurities have a hold on me at the moment. I sit back in my chair, pushing my empty plate away, my thoughts running wild. It’s the first time we’d be doing anything as a family—of sorts—since getting together. It makes me nervous to think about it. Once again, Hayden’s small voice brings me from my thoughts.

“Melia? Pwease come with us,” she pleads with me.

I can’t deny her. I love her too much. I take a deep breath in and let it out as I look at her and smile.

“Okay, Hayden. I’ll come with you,” I tell her, making her smile. “You’ll need help keeping your daddy out of trouble.”

“Yay!” she squeals in excitement.

“Hey! I take offense to that!” Jackson exclaims in mock offense.

Hayden laughs at his teasing and the sound makes my heart squeeze in my chest. I can’t believe how fond of them I’ve become in the short time I’ve been with them. My eyes gravitate to the laughing little girl.

I can’t help but smile at her joy. Jackson’s eyes meet mine and he moves closer to me, taking my hand in his. My heart thuds in my chest as his warm hand covers mine. His skin feels so good I want to feel more of it, but I know I can’t do that with Hayden right here. His voice brings me from my dirty thoughts.

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t want you to come with us, I just wasn’t sure if you’d want to do something like that, since everything is so new between us still,” he says as he draws circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

“I know, Jackson. I wasn’t thinking anything bad,” I say softly, fibbing a bit.

He smiles, and I feel bad for even thinking he didn’t want me to go. Maybe one day I’ll get the nerve to tell him how insecure I’ve been when it comes to him, to us. I clear the table of breakfast dishes and load them into the dishwasher as he busies himself packing bags for himself and Hayden. I finish in the kitchen and then head home to pack a bag for myself, and a few hours later, Jackson is loading the bags while I buckle Hayden into her car seat. I climb into the front seat next to Jackson and we head off toward the highway.

“Did you book a hotel or are we just going to find something when we get there?” I ask, looking over at him.

“While I was packing, I found a beautiful Airbnb that’ll be perfect for us. I think you’re going to like it,” he says, excitement lacing his tone.

“I’m sure I will—you’ll be there.”

The radio plays softly as he drives, his hand resting on my thigh. His thumb strokes lazy circles as his fingers rest on the inside of my bare thigh. He likes it when I wear this skirt, since it’s a little shorter than what I usually wear. One of his love languages is physical touch, and I’m not sure if he even realizes it. Everything feels so right and good in this moment and I feel blessed to be with him and the precious little girl in the back seat. I lean my head against the headrest and close my eyes as I smile to myself, thinking about how good things are between us.

We haven’t been on the road for much more than an hour when I hear a soft snoring sound from the back seat. “I can’t believe Hayden’s asleep already,” I say softly, not wanting to wake her. “She must’ve still been tired from all the excitement at the hospital yesterday.”

“Already? That is fast for her. I’m sure you’re right—that’s the first big hospital visit she’s had since she was born,” Jackson says, chuckling as a devilish smirk appears on his face. “That gives me plenty of time to have fun with you.”

I look over at him and see the smirk widening. In the time I’ve been with them, he’s never been very spontaneous or demanding, so whatever he’s up to is going to be something new—I’m sure of it.

“What do you mean?” I ask softly.

“Just lean back and relax, baby,” Jackson whispers as his hand trails higher up my thigh, pushing up the hem of my skirt. “You’re going to enjoy this, I’m sure of it. I know I will.”

“Jackson, what are you doing? She’s right in the back seat,” I protest quietly as I try to push his hand away. “We have to be responsible adults. We can’t fool around with your child in the car.”

“That just means you’ll have to be quiet for me, princess,” he says as his fingers slide higher, brushing the fabric of my panties.

I gasp and squirm in my seat. I slide down a little and let my legs fall open as he continues to rub me over my panties.

“You like this, don’t you, Amelia? You’re getting so worked up already,” he murmurs as he starts rubbing faster.

My head falls back against the headrest. The feeling of his fingers on me is heightened by the fact that my eyes are closed and I can’t see what he’s doing. I try to keep my breathing even so my panting doesn’t wake Hayden. I bite my lip to keep from moaning as his finger slips under the lace of my panties and in between my slippery folds.

I wiggle in my seat as he slowly rubs his finger against my wetness. I clamp a hand over my mouth to keep myself from yelling out.

“Good girl, you’re being so quiet for me. Keep being quiet and I’ll make you feel so good,” he whispers low.

I haven’t seen this side of him since we’ve been together. The only place I’ve seen him dominate anything is on the ice. I’m getting so turned on by his behavior that I’m finding it hard to control my moans. I shove my fist in my mouth as he circles my clit slowly.

“Jackson, I’m not going to be able to stay quiet. It feels too good,” I whisper as I grip the door handle. “Please, Jackson. I can’t.”

I’m trying so hard not to make a sound, but a soft whimper escapes me as he pushes his finger in and pulls it back out of me. My hands are on the window and ceiling of the car as if they’re the only things tethering me to my body while he pushes another finger into my dripping entrance. I clench my eyes closed as I concentrate on staying quiet. I know I have to do what I can to keep from waking Hayden, but the things Jackson is doing to me feel too good and it’s so hard to stay as quiet as he wants me to be.

“Jackson.” I whisper his name like a prayer.

“You have to stay quiet, baby. You can do it,” he encourages as he slides into me again.

His fingers push in deeper, and I wonder how he’s able to keep driving without swerving while keeping his fingers so deep inside me. I gasp again and he shoves them deeper, curling them to hit the spot that makes me see stars.

“Jackson…please,” I beg, knowing I’m going to scream if he doesn’t stop torturing that spot.

“Come on, just a little more. You can be quiet, princess. I know you can. I feel you tightening around my fingers, baby. You’re getting there.” His voice is so low it almost sounds like a growl.

I gasp and bite back a moan as I feel the tendrils of my climax weave their way through my lower belly, the pleasure building as he moves his fingers in and out of me in a steady rhythm.

“You feel so good on my fingers. I can tell you’re close—you’re squeezing them,” he marvels as he keeps pumping his fingers in and out.

I whisper his name like a prayer as he sends me over the edge, and I shatter on his fingers. My legs shake as he keeps moving his fingers until the last aftershock. Then he slowly pulls his fingers out of me and licks my slickness off of them with a grin. I smile at him as I adjust my panties and skirt.

“I didn’t picture you to be the kind of guy to do something like that,” I say.

“Why not?” he asks, a curious look on his face.

“The only thing I’ve ever seen you dominate is the ice, Jackson,” I say with a chuckle.

“Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet, sweetheart,” he tells me, his eyes never leaving the road.

I grin and we settle into a comfortable silence until we get to our Airbnb, which is close to the Cincinnati Zoo. We check in and take our bags into the house, and I look around in awe at the amazing carpentry that has made the house what it is. Hardwood floors shine and the baseboards have intricate designs on them. Jackson carries in a still-sleeping Hayden and lays her on the bed in the room across from ours.

“Hey, listen, I need to talk to you for a minute please,” he says softly as he leads me into the room that will be ours.

I sit on the edge of the bed, and he sits down beside me, turning his body to face me. He takes my hands in his.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything, but my parents are coming, and they don’t know that we’re together yet,” he says, pausing to look at me.

My heart twists in my chest at his words. Why hasn’t he told them about me? Is he ashamed of me?

“Where’s your head at, Amelia? What are you thinking?” he asks me.

“Are you ashamed of me, Jackson? Is that why they don’t know about us?” I ask, hurt in my voice.

His eyes widen in surprise, and he looks horrified.

“What? Oh God, no! Oh, baby, please don’t think that” he pleads as he takes my face in his hands. “It’s not anything like that. It’s just…this is a really big step for me, and I’m not sure how they’ll react to it. They know you’re Hayden’s nanny, so for now that’s all they’re going to know, until I figure out what to say to them.”

I nod my head in understanding. I can’t help but feel like he’s a bit ashamed, but I don’t want to press the issue with him.

“When they come, I’ll just be the nanny,” I say quietly.

Just then, Hayden wakes up and we go to explore the rest of the house with her. We find a nice place to get dinner in town, and Jackson can’t stop talking about how the season is almost over.

“I still can’t believe we’ve made it to the playoffs,” he says joyfully. “I’m glad for the break this week, though. It’s going to be rough—four rounds of seven games. We’re gonna be worn out by the end, but I think we’re good for the win, especially with Oliver and Felix constantly coming up with new good luck rituals.”

“What kind of rituals?” I ask with a smile on my face.

“Well, so far, they’ve been trading underpants,” he says, chuckling.

I choke on my sip of water as I laugh. “What?”

“They’ve been trading underpants before games. It’s really been lucky, so they’re trying to come up with other new rituals.”

“I hope they don’t end up with jock itch,” I say in a teasing tone.

Jackson laughs a hearty laugh, and the sound makes my heart swell. I haven’t ever heard him laugh so freely. The look on his face is one of surprise and then sadness.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him, laying my hand over his on the table as Hayden colors the coloring page given to her by our waitress.

“I haven’t…I shouldn’t…” he stammers.

“Oh, Jackson, it’s okay to laugh. She’d want you to,” I reply softly as I rub the back of his hand.

By the time we finish dinner and get back to the Airbnb, Hayden is asleep, and Jackson carries her in. My thoughts are consumed with the knowledge that his parents are coming for their visit tomorrow—I’m nervous to see them, even if I’m just the nanny. I know that by the end of the visit they’ll know the truth, and I worry about how they’ll handle that truth.

I toss and turn all night long, finally getting up around five in the morning. I drink my coffee and make breakfast for everyone because I know Jackson and Hayden will wake up soon. Just as I finish cooking, they both emerge from upstairs, still looking sleepy.

“Good morning, sleepyheads,” I say as I put their plates in front of them.

“Good morning, Amelia,” Jackson mumbles as he stumbles sleepily to the coffee pot and pours a cup of coffee.

“Today’s the day. Your parents will be here this afternoon,” I say, trying to sound cheerful.

“Grandma and Grandpa are coming?” Hayden asks before taking a bite of her food.

“Yeah, they’re coming to visit before we go to the zoo,” Jackson says as he sits at the table with his coffee cup and starts eating.

I take time cleaning the kitchen after we eat and before I know it, the doorbell rings. My stomach twists in knots and I feel like I’m going to vomit as Jackson goes to open the door. I stand in the doorway of the kitchen as Jackson welcomes them in and hugs them. They move to hug Hayden next and then his mother’s eyes connect with mine.

I’m about to say, Nice to see you again , but she speaks first.

“Ah, and you brought along the help,” she says as she looks me over. “I’d like a glass of water with four ice cubes. Thank you.”

My heart clenches and my stomach drops. I hear Jackson say something, but I can’t make out what he says as my ears ring loudly. I bolt up the stairs to the other room down the hall in case they come upstairs. I throw myself across the bed and sob into the pillow, hoping the fluffy material muffles the sound. I don’t want them to know they’ve hurt me. I hear raised voices floating up from downstairs, but can’t make out what they’re saying. A few minutes later, I hear the door open and know instantly that Jackson has entered the room.

“Oh, baby, come here,” he says, soft and low as he pulls me into his arms, caressing the back of my head as I cry into his chest. “I’m sorry about my mother.”

“It’s fine,” I say as I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. “She doesn’t know any different, so she’s treating me like the help I am.”

“No, she shouldn’t have acted that way even if you were only a nanny. Listen, why don’t you go into town and do some shopping? It’ll give me time to figure out what to say and tell them about our relationship,” he says softly as he rubs my back soothingly.

I agree, grabbing my purse and heading downstairs with him. He leads me out the front door to the car as his parents watch.

“Go have some fun, you deserve it after all this,” he says, a look of adoration in his eyes. “I’ll tell them, I promise.”

I nod and start the car, pulling out of the driveway. I soon find myself in a shopping center, and my eye catches on a shoe store. I can’t resist a good pair of shoes. As I browse, I see a pair of black and gold strappy heels that I know Jackson would like on me. I pull them off the shelf and try them on, snapping a picture of them on my feet. I send it to Jackson.

Thought you’d like to see these on me.

I wait for his response, taking the shoes off as I do. A few minutes later, my phone dings with a message.

Mmm…I can imagine those on my shoulders…

I feel my cheeks heat at his response. I’m definitely getting the shoes just for that. I pay for them and exit the store, soon finding another store I want to check out. I see a dress in the window that will go perfectly with my new heels. It’s floor-length and black with gold trim around the edges just like the shoes.

Got the shoes. I’m going to see if I can’t find a dress to go with them before the shoes end up on your shoulders.

I send the text with a smile as I walk into the store. I browse around and soon my phone buzzes in my purse. I’m reaching in to grab it when I look up, and my eyes lock with a pair of eyes that belong to someone I thought I’d never see again: Preston.

My mind can’t comprehend what I’m seeing. He’s alive? All the evidence at the scene of the accident pointed to his death. Now he’s right in front of me, breathing and looking at me with wide eyes.

“Preston?” I breathe out, shock filling my system.

My heart stutters in my chest as I realize he’s been alive all this time and hasn’t bothered to let us know somehow.

I watch as he freezes in place and stares at me for several heartbeats before he rushes to me, pulls me into a tight hug, then drags me into the dressing room behind us. He closes the door and turns the lock before pulling me into another hug. He holds me close to him for a couple minutes before pulling back to look at me.

“Amelia? What are you doing here? How’d you find me? How’d you know I was here?” he asks, worry crossing his face.

“I had no idea you were here, Preston. We’ve all been thinking you’re dead for two years. We’ve grieved you for two long, miserable years,” I say, anger creeping into my voice. “How could you do this?”

“If you didn’t know I was here, then how did you find me?” he asks again.

“I’m here on vacation with Jackson. I went shopping so he could have some time with his parents. I’ve thought you were dead, Preston. Why the hell didn’t you ever call?” My voice is growing louder. “Your blood and your wallet were found at the scene, Preston. You weren’t. Why?”

“Why the fuck are you with Jackson?” he asks.

I take a good look at my brother’s face and notice several scars that appear to be burn marks on his face. I wince as I think about the pain he must have endured. My eyes search his face, mapping out the patterns the scars make. He’s still handsome, but I know they must bother him.

I know he wants answers, but so do I and I’m not giving him any until I get mine first.

“I asked you first, big brother,” I say, my chest tightening as I realize we might be at an impasse here.