Mind Pucked (Chicago Blue Jays #1)

18. Jackson

18

JACKSON

I pace the floor of the Airbnb, waiting impatiently for Amelia to return. It’s almost dark out, and I thought she’d be back by now. My thoughts are flying everywhere, and I know I’m causing unnecessary chaos, but I can’t help it. I’m trying so hard not to panic as thoughts of what might be happening to her flood my mind. I tell myself she’s just out having fun, allowing me plenty of time with my parents, but part of me—the really messed-up part—is imagining the worst as minutes tick by.

I try to call her again, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. My heart is pounding hard in my chest and I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to call the police and have them put out an APB on her car, but I know deep down that’s a little dramatic. I’m letting the PTSD take over, and I know I need to calm down. I try to call her again, but it still goes to voicemail.

“Where are you?” I say out loud as I look out the window.

“I’m sure she’s fine—you know you should never send a woman shopping if you want her home at a decent time, son,” my father says, laying a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“I know, I know. I’m being irrational, but I can’t help it. I close my eyes, and I see the pictures of the crash site. I can’t go through that again.” I try to swallow the lump in my throat.

“You’re not going to. Just keep telling yourself that. This is a different situation—what happened to Lyla isn’t going to happen to Amelia,” my father says quietly.

“You don’t know that, Dad. None of us know that for sure,” I say, harsher than I mean to.

I run a hand over my face, fear and frustration overwhelming me. I just want her to pull into the driveway and be okay. I need her to be okay. I know I need to talk to someone about my irrational thoughts, but I don’t want to—mostly for fear that the guys might find out. I’d never hear the end of it.

“Amelia has to be a capable driver, or you wouldn’t let her drive your daughter around,” my dad points out, coming over to stand beside me and look out the window.

“I trust her completely, Dad. I know she’s a good driver. I know this is all in my head, I just don’t know how to stop the thoughts.” My eyes stare at the driveway, willing her car to pull in. “Besides, it’s the others on the road that are the problem most of the time.”

I watch as my dad just shakes his head and walks into the other room, leaving me with my irrational thoughts. I call her once more and growl when I hear her voicemail again. I’m tempted to throw my phone, but I know I can’t do that in case she needs me.

“Jackson, you’ve got to stop worrying. You’re going to end up with an ulcer if you don’t,” my mother cuts in as she comes into the room, Hayden following behind her.

“I know, I know.”

“You know, yet you’re pacing the length of this room like a caged tiger. I had no idea you were already so attached to this woman. She’s fine, and you need to stop worrying.”

My mother’s words just make me pace more.

My thoughts are swirling in my head as I continue looking out the window. What if she doesn’t come back? What if I finally found the strength to open my heart to someone again, and she doesn’t come back? I’ll never recover from it, and I know it.

Finally, I see her pull in and I breathe a sigh of relief. I rush to the door and pull it open, running to the driveway. As she gets out, I grab her in my arms and hold her tight.

“You’re okay, oh thank God,” I breathe out.

“I’m fine, Jackson. I didn’t mean to worry you,” she says as she pulls back to look at me, concern flashing over her face. “I just did what you told me to.”

“I know, I know. I just thought you’d be back earlier than this, and I got worried. It’s just my head.” I cup her face and kiss her gently.

She hums against my lips and pulls back from the kiss, sadness in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry—I should’ve called and checked in. I just didn’t want to interrupt your time with your parents. I was also having a lot of fun shopping.” She winks at me.

I remember our text exchange about the shoes she got, and I feel myself twitching in my pants.

“Did you find a dress to go with those shoes you bought today?” I ask her as I grab the bags out of the car and lead her into the house.

“I did, actually. I think you’ll like it,” she says with excitement in her tone.

“Maybe you can model it for me later.”

“I just might do that.” She grins at me as she goes to the kitchen.

I take the bags upstairs to the bedroom and go back downstairs in time to hear a bit of the conversation she’s having with my mom. I bristle at the things my mother is telling her.

“I’m glad you had a good afternoon shopping—Jackson just worries too much,” my mother is saying as I walk around the corner and come into view.

“I have good reason to worry, Mother,” I say a bit defensively.

“I know that, son, but it’s time you stop worrying so much. You need to stop worrying and start enjoying life. Let people in again,” she says.

“I’m trying, Mom. It’s not that easy,” I say softly, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.

Amelia puts her hand on mine and my insides soften to mush. I’ve not felt this way since Lyla, and part of me feels ashamed that I’m feeling it. I know I have every right to feel the way I do since it’s been two years since she’s been gone, but part of me still feels like I’m cheating on her.

My parents leave the kitchen as Amelia gets a glass of water and sips it. I study her as she leans against the counter. She looks exhausted. Shopping must have taken a lot of energy out of her. Who knew spending money could do that?

“You look tired, baby. You okay?” I ask her, concern creeping up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired. I did a lot of shopping, and I ran into an old friend. I never knew I’d run into someone I grew up with all the way out here,” she says, smiling at me. “It really is a small world, isn’t it?”

She smiles at me and chuckles, but then her smile turns into a small yawn. She puts her water glass in the sink and yawns again.

“Are you too tired to model those shoes for me? I’ve been dying to see them on you since you texted me about them earlier.”

She giggles, and the sound comforts me in a way I never thought possible. I always want to make her laugh in any way I can.

I move behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and nibbling her ear gently, smiling against her neck as she lets out a hum of appreciation.

“I’m tired, but I’m not that tired,” she replies with a sly smile on her face as she takes my hand and leads me up the stairs to our bedroom.

The room has an ensuite bathroom that she heads into. I lie across the bed on my side, propped up on my elbow, waiting to see what she comes out in. My thoughts run away with me as I wait for her to finish getting ready.

The swishing of fabric and soft grunts can be heard from inside the bathroom. I chuckle to myself as I imagine her having a hard time getting into whatever she’s putting on.

“Are you okay in there?” I ask, since it’s taking her a while to come out.

“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute,” she says as she giggles through the door.

“Take your time. I’m in no rush. Well, maybe a little bit of a rush,” I tease.

My breath hitches in my throat when I see the door handle turning. I prop myself up higher and my eyes go wide as she steps out of the bathroom. She appears in a dark blue knee-length dress that sparkles in the light. The neckline plunges dangerously low and I feel my pants get a little tighter as I think about what’s waiting for me under the dress. My eyes travel down to the shoes, and I imagine what they’d look like over my shoulders as I ravish her.

“Oh lord, princess, you’re killing me in that dress. All I want to do now is take it off of you,” I tell her as I watch her twirl around.

“Well, you won’t be able to do that in public,” she says with a chuckle.

“Maybe not, but we’re not in public right now,” I say, my voice low and husky with desire.

I stand up from my spot on the bed and move closer to her. I can tell she’s getting just as turned on as I am, her chest heaving with quickening breaths. Her pupils are blown, and I can see her nipples straining against the fabric of the dress.

“Something got you all excited, princess?” I ask.

“Yes,” she answers quickly.

Her breathing is becoming more rapid, and I know I’m having the same effect on her that she is on me. All I want to do is pick her up, toss her on the bed, and have my way with her, but I want to take it nice and slow this time. I keep myself in check and slow my thoughts and movements.

I move behind her and slide down one of the straps, kissing the bare skin of her shoulder, achingly slowly. Her breaths come faster, and a soft moan escapes her lips as I kiss the sensitive flesh at the crook of her neck. Her hand comes up and tangles in my hair as I kiss and nip my way up her neck.

“Jackson,” she breathes out as my other hand pulls down the other strap.

I kiss her other shoulder, making my way to the crook of her neck on that side also. I pay ample attention to her neck, especially the spot by her ear. She moans softly again, and I smile against her skin. My heart pounds as her sounds arouse me even more.

The dress slides down her body and pools on the floor at her feet. She steps out of the pile of material and bends to unbuckle the strappy heels that grace her slender feet.

“No, leave them on,” I tell her as I pull her back to a standing position.

“I thought you might say that,” she whispers seductively.

“I want you so badly, Amelia. It’s taking all my willpower not to take you right here, but I want to take it slow and make it last for you.”

She smiles as she stands back up. I reach one hand around behind her and unclasp her bra in one fluid motion, while my other hand cradles the back of her neck, bringing her close enough to press my lips to hers.

“You’re so beautiful,” I murmur against her lips.

“Jackson,” she breathes out as my lips find the flesh of her shoulder.

I slide behind her and cup her breasts in my hands. She hums in appreciation, and I squeeze them a bit.

“I want you, Amelia,” I whisper against her ear.

“Here I am, take me,” she replies, hooking her thumbs under the elastic band of her panties and sliding them down her legs.

“Oh, baby, you have no idea how bad I want you,” I say, almost whimpering.

She steps out of her panties and turns, running her hand over the bulge in my pants.

“I’d say you want me really bad,” she croons in my ear.

I capture her lips in a passionate kiss and back her up toward the end of the bed. When the back of her knees hit the bed, she sits down and leans back on her elbows.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, princess, but you’re gonna have to be quiet for me since we’re not alone. Can you be quiet for me?”

“I’ll try,” she breathes out softly.

I grab a pillow from the head of the bed and motion for her to lift her hips. I slide the pillow under her and then lean over, kissing her lips again. My lips trail down her neck as she starts to writhe beneath me. I nip the sensitive skin where her neck meets her shoulder and smile as she moans softly. I continue my descent down her body until I’m on my knees in front of her, and then I slide her legs over my shoulders, those shoes running along my spine, and I delve into her sweet center. She fists her hands into my hair and grips as I roll my tongue up and over her sensitive nub.

“Jackson,” she gasps as I work my tongue against her.

I hum against her as I slide a finger inside her. Her hips buck into my face, and I slide another finger in. The noises she makes shoot pleasure straight to the core of me, and I want nothing more than to keep making her make those noises.

“Jackson, don’t stop. Please, don’t stop,” she begs me as she pushes my head closer to her body.

I hum against her again as I pull her bundle of nerves into my mouth and suck on it gently. I love the fact that I’m making her feel good—she’s so responsive to my touch. I move my tongue faster against her as her legs begin to shake. I lay my hand on her lower belly, under her belly button and press down gently.

That’s all it takes for her climax to wash over her, and she moans my name like a prayer as she shatters.

“Jackson…oh, Jackson…” she moans softly, trying not to be loud.

I lap up everything she gives me and keep going, driving her toward release again. It doesn’t take long before she’s shattering again with cries of ecstasy. I slide my way up her body, kissing every inch of her until I’m hovering over her. To my surprise, she rolls us over, maneuvering herself on top of me and kissing her way down my body, taking my rigid length into her mouth.

“Oh, fuck, princess,” I murmur as my hand tangles in her hair.

The sensation of her warm, wet mouth around me drives me insane.

“Oh, Amelia, please don’t stop,” I beg as my grip tightens on her hair.

“Mmm…” she moans against me, sending sensations through me that I didn’t realize I could feel.

“Oh, baby, if you keep doing that I won’t last long, and I’m not finished with you yet,” I tell her as I reluctantly pull her away from my body.

I roll us over again so I’m on top of her, nestled between her legs. I rub the tip of my rigid member against her throbbing clit and a moan slip from her lips. She grips my arms as I slide into her with a pleasured groan.

“You feel so good,” I whisper against her ear as I start to move.

She lets out a string of moans as I thrust against her, picking up my pace as she gets louder. I hiss as her nails dig into my back, the heels of her shoes digging into the flesh of my ass.

“Oh, Jackson, so good…you feel so good,” she whimpers as I urge her closer to the edge of pleasure.

I’m getting close myself, but I don’t want the pleasure to end for either one of us, so I slow my pace a bit to catch my breath. Her soft moans fill my ears as I thrust against her faster again. My thoughts are swirling in my mind: This is perfect, she is perfect. She’s writhing beneath me, moaning my name in pleasure. I smile against her skin as I kiss her neck. I love that I’m the one making her feel this way.

“God, princess, you’re amazing. I love the way you look right now,” I whisper in her ear.

Her moans are the only reply I get as I push her toward her release. I know I’m not going to last much longer even if I slow down, but I do it anyway, trying to prolong the pleasure. Suddenly, she cries out, muffling the sound by biting my shoulder as she floods all over me and the bed.

“Oh my God!” she cries as her body shakes.

I keep thrusting into her, speeding up again, wanting to know if I can make her do it again. I grit my teeth, using every ounce of willpower I have to keep myself from finishing. She’s trying to be so quiet, but I can tell it’s becoming harder for her to do.

“Jackson, please, it’s too much. Please,” she begs me.

“One more, baby. Give me one more,” I rasp out as I go as hard and fast as I can.

I’m barreling toward my release and bringing her to another one, ecstatic to be the one bringing her so much pleasure.

“Jackson, I can’t. It’s too good, so sensitive,” she whispers breathlessly.

“You can do it, baby. Give it to me,” I urge as I move my hips against her faster.

I can feel her tense around me, and I know it’s coming. Her release crashes over her as she lets out an almost silent scream. Her body trembles against mine as my release follows hers. I groan softly as I spill into her. I thrust against her a few more times before collapsing beside her, pulling her close to me as I try to catch my breath.

“Wow,” she breathes out, panting.

“You can say that again.”

My thoughts run wild as I hold her tight, my feelings for her hitting me full force. Tonight has made me realize just how important she is to me, and I know I don’t want to lose her.

I realize that I might very well be in love with her, and that thought hits me like a ton of bricks. I think about Lyla and wonder briefly whether it’s okay for me to love someone else, but then I realize I can’t help what my heart feels.

I smile against Amelia’s skin as I take in the feelings she’s making me feel. I know I want her, I know I need her, and I think I love her. Only time will tell.