Mix-Up under the Mistletoe (Glenbriar #11)

Chapter Fifteen

Tilly

Saturday, December 21 st

Evening

T illy stared at the little Christmas tree, tears streaming down her face. She’d let go, and the floodgates had opened. So, this was Christmas. Or it was for the Harringtons anyway. A lovely family home full of joy, laughter, and love. She’d found the perfect dollhouse world, but it wasn’t hers. She was just playing with it, borrowing it for a while. The life she had in this house belonged to a different Tilly Thorpe, one who was free to stay here, not one who had another life, a job, and a flat in London – one who wasn’t supposed to be here at all.

A knock on the door. ‘Tilly, can I come back in, please?’ Rafe said from the other side.

She quickly wiped away her tears. ‘Sure.’

The door clicked open, but Tilly didn’t turn around. She stared at the little tree twinkling before her, blinking away the remaining tears, and breathing deeply.

‘Hey.’ Rafe put his hands on her shoulders, and she tensed. How was he so close, so quickly? ‘Are you ok?’

‘Not really.’ She shook her head. Why lie? He may as well see exactly who she was. Who he’d kissed. Who he was dealing with.

‘I’m sorry I asked about your childhood. It was insensitive of me.’

‘It’s not that.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’ll be fine. All this is just so overwhelming. Your family… That kiss. All of it.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘I thought you wanted to. I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t asked.’

‘I did. I enjoyed it. Everything here is so enjoyable, but it’s all just a passing thing, isn’t it?’

‘Most things are.’ He quietly rubbed her shoulders. The simple movement melted the icy needles that stabbed at her heart when she thought about leaving. ‘But you make your own destiny, Tilly. You decide what you want in life. Don’t let others choose for you. Make sure what you choose is what you want.’

It sounded so easy when he said it like that, but for someone who’d always lived like her, she wasn’t sure she could. Giving up what she’d taken time to build was a very foolish move from where she was standing.

‘Do you want to join in with making cocktails?’ he asked. ‘Or would you rather be alone?’

‘I’d rather be with you.’ The truth spilled out before she could stop it.

He was quiet for a beat, then said, ‘Same, Tilly. I’m burning to be with you, but it’s tricky.’

‘I know. I’m sorry.’ She was at it again – clinging.

‘No need. Let’s just be sensible. Why don’t you come down with me?’

Pulling herself together with a mental shake, she nodded. ‘Ok. Let’s make some cocktails… Yet another first for me.’ God, she was getting through them today.

‘Hopefully, it’ll be fun.’

She caught him looking at her reflection in a mirror on the dresser next to the little tree. A hungry smile grew on his face as her eyes met his. She’d kiss him again in an instant, but that was stupid when people were expecting him downstairs.

‘Come on.’ He slipped his hand into hers. ‘Let’s go down and see if Mum needs a hand with anything.’

Tilly clutched his hand as he led the way, only letting go at the bottom of the stairs when Genevieve passed by.

‘Mum’s already set up a buffet tea,’ she said. ‘She and Grandma did it while we were out. I’m going to tell Finlay it’ll be ten minutes. He might have passed out by then. Honestly, the amount he eats, you’d think he’d be morbidly obese, but it just fuels all his sports.’

Rafe led Tilly into the living room, where they sat for a while, chatting about the day with Tina and Finlay, before Geoff came to the door and announced dinner.

Hilary and Grandma had made a delicious spread for the buffet tea and Tilly filled her plate but didn’t sit down. She spotted Hilary setting up another table with glasses and went over to her.

‘Is this for the cocktails?’

‘Yes,’ Hilary said.

‘Let me help.’ Tilly put her plate down and helped Hilary with the setup.

‘I’m so thrilled you’re with us,’ Hilary said. ‘It means we can do this in pairs and Rafe won’t be on his own.’

‘Only me,’ Grandma said.

‘Oh, mother,’ Hilary said. ‘You already told me you didn’t want to make one.’

‘I did. And I stick by it. I’m only going to judge,’ she said to Tilly with a wink. ‘Then I get to taste them all without having to do one of my own.’

‘You’ll be making your own private batch in the corner, I expect,’ Rafe said.

‘Oh, shush. What will Tilly think of me?’

Tilly laughed and Hilary shook her head.

‘Cressida’s giving Alexander his bath and as soon as he’s tucked up, we can get concocting,’ she said. ‘Or drinking in my mother’s case, it would appear.’

Tilly nibbled her food, chatting with the others as they waited for Cressida. By the time the latter got downstairs, Tilly and the family had gathered around the island and were reading the prompt cards and laughing.

‘Ok, this is going to be interesting.’ Rafe handed Tilly a card with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Cressida joined Tina, who was sniggering. ‘Ok, the Christmas Sparkler is coming up.’

‘The what?’ Cressida said.

Tina grabbed a bottle of champagne. ‘You heard. Can you get the cranberry juice?’

‘I actually liked the look of that one,’ Genevieve said.

‘Me too,’ Grandma said.

‘We’ve got Jack Frost,’ Finlay said. ‘Looks potent. What is blue curacao?’

‘This.’ Genevieve held up a bottle filled with a sea-blue liqueur.

‘Let me see that.’ Grandma took the bottle from her, opened it and sniffed it. ‘Oof. It’s strong.’

Hilary held up her card. ‘Mistletoe Martini. Rather nice by the sound of things. Gin, vermouth, and a splash of elderflower liqueur. I like it already.’ She exchanged a glance with Geoff, and they grinned.

Tilly’s heart lifted. She could only wish that when she reached Hilary’s age, she’d have found a man like Geoff who still looked at her like that. But she didn’t have anyone, unless she counted the man standing beside her, which she couldn’t really. One kiss didn’t make him hers. That dream would end very swiftly. Already its hours were numbered.

Just enjoy these stolen moments while you can.

Rafe showed her their card. ‘The Winter Whirlwind.’

‘What do we need for that?’

‘Spiced rum, apple cider, and a cinnamon stick.’

‘Sounds weird,’ she said.

He laughed. ‘Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?’ He reached for the cinnamon sticks at the same time she did, and their hands brushed against each other. A frisson ran across Tilly’s skin. She glanced up at him and they shared a smile. Tilly’s pulse raced. This was so much more than her normal one-sided crushes, fantasies, or whatever they were. Wasn’t it? He was feeling something too. He’d been a willing participant in their kiss.

Rafe read the ingredients, and Tilly measured them into the shaker. Once everyone’s concoctions were complete, the family gathered around the table, each with their Christmas cocktail.

‘Shall we taste them?’ Hilary said. ‘Then we can grade them.’

‘Let me start.’ Grandma gave them all a wicked smirk. ‘It’s what I’ve been waiting for, after all.’

Tilly moved around the table after Grandma had taken the first taste, sipping each one through a straw and leaving a grade on the card.

‘Let’s see.’ Hilary added up the numbers on the cards. ‘Cressida and Tina, you are the winners. You get to choose this year’s movie.’

They high-fived. Rafe gave Tilly a commiserative glance.

‘Anyone want some more?’ Cressida said. ‘We could make it and you can drink the Christmas Sparkler as we watch… Drumroll… A Christmas Carol .’

‘Can’t beat it for festiveness,’ Tina said.

‘Good choice,’ Hilary said.

‘Have you ever seen it?’ Rafe asked Tilly aside.

‘What do you think?’ she said.

‘I’m guessing another first.’

‘You guess right.’

‘Let’s get everyone comfy,’ Hilary said. ‘I’ve put a crate of blankets in the living room. If anyone is feeling chilly, just grab one.’ She gave Tilly the tiniest of winks. Was she expecting Tilly to sit under that with Rafe? In front of them all? Maybe she’d be better sitting away from him. She probably shouldn’t fuel this thing that was going on between them.

‘You sit by Rafe.’ Hilary ushered her in. ‘And don’t let him fall asleep. He always does that during films.’

‘No, I don’t,’ he mumbled.

Hilary raised an eyebrow at him.

‘I maybe have once or twice, but not always .’

Tilly sat next to him. ‘Are you sure it’s ok for me to sit here?’ She kept her voice low.

‘Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?’

She gave a little shrug. ‘Because of… earlier.’

He ran a finger down her upper arm, pulling back as his sisters entered. ‘I’m ok with what happened earlier.’

She’d like to say she felt the same, but she wasn’t sure in all honesty that she could. If ok meant she’d enjoyed it but didn’t want it to stop, then maybe she was ok. If it meant they could pick it up again later, she was definitely ok. If it meant a one-off thing they weren’t ever going to repeat, she really wasn’t ok. But she couldn’t exactly ask him in front of everyone. Maybe he was just a guy who didn’t mind randomly hooking up with people and saw her as an easy target.

Hilary dimmed the lights and handed out blankets. The dogs were already piled into one dog bed, looking super cosy. Tilly smiled at their snores as a soft fleece blanket descended on her and Rafe. Almost as soon as the opening music started, he took her hand under the blanket and gently rubbed his thumb over her skin in soothing circles. ‘Is this ok?’ he whispered for her ears only, so low she barely heard it.

Without looking at him, she nodded. This felt all kinds of naughty, like kissing a guy in the back row of the cinema, which she’d never done either. All he was doing was stroking her hand, but something about it was so mesmerising it sent her into a dreamy stupor. How was it possible to feel this good from just that gentle contact? The film intrigued her from the off. She tried to concentrate on it and not on what his fingertips were doing to her. Her head rolled, and she leaned on him, unable to stop herself. This was bliss. If Rafe fell asleep now, Tilly couldn’t stop him. She was almost dozing herself.

As the end credits rolled, so did her eyes. She could hardly stay awake. Rafe had stopped caressing her hand some time ago, but he was still holding it lightly, his head resting on hers. Was he asleep? She gave him a little nudge. Clearing his throat, he straightened up.

‘Oops.’ He blinked himself fully awake, moving his hand away. Hilary turned the lights up a little and offered everyone another drink. Tilly was too tired. Grandma was flat out.

‘Not for me, thanks.’ Tilly barely stifled a yawn. ‘I should go to bed.’

The consensus was that everyone was too tired to stay up much longer. Hilary woke Grandma, who again claimed she hadn’t been asleep at all. They traipsed up the stairs, chatting in hushed voices in case they woke Alexander. At the top of the stairs, they all went their separate ways, but as Rafe’s room was next to Tilly’s, he followed her.

‘Night-night,’ he said as Tilly opened her door. He lingered for a second before heading to his own door and she was aware other family members were still about, though she didn’t look.

‘Night.’ She watched him going into his room. Something didn’t feel right. Like the night shouldn’t end like this, not when it had promised so much more. But what had she expected?