Monster in Disguise

7. Catalina

Catalina

" E nzo!" My voice goes up a notch. "I've been worried."

" Piccola , I am fine." He coughs. "Not that I was fine before."

"What do you mean?"

"We were attacked. Rocco's dead." My fingers tighten on the phone. He is?

A surge of happiness envelops me. My father is dead.

"What about you? Please tell me you're okay!"

"I'm out of the danger zone, don't worry. They discharged me from the hospital a couple of days ago."

"Good! That's good! But... does that mean?" I ask hesitantly.

"Not now, piccola ... It's extremely dangerous. I barely made it out alive myself. We have enemies gunning for our territories. I can't expose you to that." He explains, and my face falls. "Soon. Just wait a little longer."

"Ok," I whisper.

"How is my favorite niece?"

"She's good. She can't wait to see you. When will you be visiting?"

"I'll try to be there by the end of the week. I'll see you then, piccola ."

"Yes, thank you, Enzo. I am really glad you're fine."

"Don't worry about me, I am a hard man to kill." He chuckles, but I don't share the sentiment.

As soon as I end the call, I slip my phone into its secret hiding spot. Although inspections in this place are rare, I can never be too cautious. Mother Superior has always held a grudge against me, and I know better than to give her any reason to lash out. She would just take her anger out on Claudia, and I couldn't bear that.

Enzo's absence is weighing heavily on my mind... he's injured and couldn't make it here. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. This is just another reminder of why I despise my family's line of work.

There's always danger lurking around every corner. I don't want that for Claudia, but at the same time, I don't want her to grow up confined within these convent walls either. It's not an ideal situation, and it weighs heavily on my heart.

With a joyful squeal, Claudia flings open the door and leaps into my arms. Her golden curls bounce as she clings to me with all her might.

"Mamma!" She exclaims, burying her face in my shoulder.

"There, there, little troublemaker," I chuckle, but her excitement is contagious. "You'll make me lose my balance."

Giggling, she pulls back and thrusts her hand out towards me. In it sits a small chocolate bar, already half-melted from the warmth of her palm. I frown at the sight.

"Where did you get that?" I ask, knowing that only an outsider could bring such a treat inside our strict community.

Her face lights up even more as she proudly proclaims, "Father Guerra gave it to me! He said I was an obedient child."

I feel a twinge of surprise and guilt. In the days since Father Guerra's arrival, I had let my own biases and prejudices cloud my opinion of him. But he had proven to be nothing but kind and understanding towards our family. He hadn't let rumors or societal expectations influence how he treated us, and for that, I am grateful.

Especially now, as I watch him interact with Claudia and see just how much she craves a father figure in her life.

I give Claudia a stern look. "You can have it after dinner," I say firmly.

"But can't I have just one piece now?" She pleads, batting her long lashes at me.

"No," I respond with a smile, unable to resist her charm. "After you finish your dinner."

Reluctantly, she hands over the chocolate bar and I set it aside for later.

"Now, where is your Aunt Sisi?" I ask, wondering why Claudia was alone when she was supposed to be with Sisi.

"She got held up by Mother Superior," Claudia explains with a shrug. "She told me to go ahead."

I find it odd that Sisi was delayed, but I push the thought aside.

"Let's get you dressed."

The anticipation of Sunday dinner always fills the air with excitement and warmth. Claudia is allowed to dress up in one of her nicer outfits, although they are not what I would consider pretty. I open our closet and ask her to choose her outfit for this week's meal.

After careful consideration, she selects a dusty pink dress. I pull out one of her crisp white shirts from a drawer and hand it to her to put on first. Then, with gentle guidance, I help her slip into the dress.

"Can you do my hair too?"

She eagerly plops down in front of the small mirror on the desk as I comb through her light brown locks, tinged with sandy blonde highlights. She looks like a miniature version of me, except for her hair.

As I separate her hair strands and begin braiding them into a long plait, my thoughts drift to that fateful night... to Claudia's biological father. A shudder runs through me and I quickly try to push the memories away by focusing on Claudia's lively chatter about her school lessons.

"All done."

"Thank you, mamma." She wraps her arms around my waist and gives me a tight hug.

"There you are." Sisi's breathless voice interrupts us as she enters the room. Her disheveled appearance suggests she may have just run a marathon.

I furrow my brow as I eye her panting figure, throwing herself onto the bed with frustration. "What happened to you?" I ask, concerned.

"That... ugh... that blasted woman!" She punches the pillow beside her. "Sisi?"

"Mother Superior," she growls, her expression contorting with anger. "She told me I'm not doing my chores properly and that now I will be assigned double the load... to 'learn how to work properly,' she says." She shifts restlessly on the bed before jumping to her feet.

"I've never had a complaint before, but suddenly I'm doing everything wrong."

"Sisi..."

"You know what, never mind. I'll do what she says...but that means I won't have that much time to watch Claudia." Her voice softens as she mentions our daughter's name.

"I'm sure we can figure something out," I offer, trying to ease the tension.

"And I'm a big girl. I can look after myself," Claudia chimes in, causing both Sisi and me to smile at her independence.

"Let me get dressed and I'll come with you to dinner." She sighs and reaches for a clean outfit from her dresser.

We make our way to the large dining hall, trying to avoid the judgmental stares and malicious whispers of the other nuns. We find a table in the farthest corner and take our seats. Despite the uncomfortable atmosphere, the food turns out to be surprisingly delicious, and we all enjoy our meal together. When we finish, we gather our trays to return them for washing.

"Can I go eat the chocolate now?" Claudia tugs on my sleeve eagerly, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Seeing her hopeful face, I can't bring myself to refuse her request.

"Sure, you can go ahead."

"Yay!" she exclaims before darting off towards our room.

"You're spoiling her too much," Sisi says, playfully reprimanding me.

"It's the least I can do," I reply with a smile, knowing how much Claudia has been through in her young life.

"I wish my mother was like you," Sisi's wistful tone catches me off guard, reminding me of the time when she had asked me to be her mother all those years ago.

I give her hand a quick squeeze in comfort, silently conveying that she is loved and appreciated.

As we make our way back to the room, the convent is cloaked in silence. The usual bustle of nuns preparing for lights out has ceased, leaving only a serene stillness. I call out my daughter's name as I open the door to our room, but receive no answer. A ripple of unease courses through me as I step inside.

"Claudia? It's not funny," I repeat, my voice tinged with worry as I search every nook and cranny of the tiny room. Sisi joins me in the search, but there are only so many places one can hide in such a confined space.

"Where could she be?" Panic blooms within me as I frantically scan the room. My eyes land on the spot where I had left her chocolate, untouched.

"I don't think she came here."

Sisi's words echo my thoughts as we exchange worried looks.

"You take the west wing; I'll take the east. We'll find her."

Without hesitation, we split up and begin searching. I approach every nun I come across, asking if they have seen Claudia. Some scoff at me, making rude comments about my ability to care for my own child. But I push their hurtful words aside and continue my search.

Finally, someone offers some information.

"I think so. I'm not sure if it was Claudia."

Desperate for any lead, I plead with them to tell me more.

"She was heading towards the chapel."

"Thank you!" Gratitude pours from me as I take their hands in mine.

As I approach the chapel, all is quiet and still. The wooden doors are unassuming, but as I push them open, they give way with ease. Inside, the atmosphere is hushed and reverent, like a miniature gothic church. Though it is spacious enough to hold all the nuns within the convent, by other standards, it is not particularly large.

The interior is adorned with two rows of pews on each side leading towards the ornate altar, and on the right is the confessional booth. Stained glass windows depicting scenes from the Bible line the walls on either side of the chapel.

Moving further into the chapel, I pass down the central nave towards the altar.

The only source of light in the dimly lit church comes from a few flickering candles at the altar. As I approach, my eyes gradually adjust to see two figures standing near the front. One is an adult, and the other is a small child. As I draw closer, their features become clearer...and so do their actions.

My heart stops as I realize what I am witnessing—Father Guerra's hand is up Claudia's dress. Without hesitation, I lunge forward with one goal in mind: to rescue my little girl from this man's grasp.

In that moment, they must have sensed my presence because Father Guerra quickly removes his hand and attempts to compose himself. Claudia turns towards me, her expression betraying a mix of fear and shame. But before I can even process what has happened or confront them both about their twisted relationship, something inside me snaps and I let out a guttural scream of rage and disgust.

My voice is stone, cold and demanding as I command Claudia to go to the room. Her shoulders tremble ever so slightly, whether from the recent events or the steely tone in my voice, I cannot tell. "Now!" I reiterate sharply when she hesitates.

"Mamma..." Claudia's whisper barely reaches my ears before she runs out of the chapel.

"Catalina, please understand, this isn't what it looks like," Father Guerra jumps to his own defense. His hands are raised in a placating gesture.

"Fixing her dress? Or her underwear?" My feet carry me swiftly towards him, a sudden urge to do harm overtaking me. How dare he touch my nine-year-old daughter? The thought alone makes me want to break down and cry, but I can't allow this man to walk away without facing consequences.

"Catalina, surely we can come to an understanding," he persists.

"What kind of understanding? That you're a disgusting pedophile?" My voice rises with each word, thick with disgust and rage. "Mother Superior will hear about this. You'll get what you deserve, you waste of a human being." There is so much venom in my words, yet it still doesn't seem enough for what I feel towards him.

Father Guerra chuckles. He actually has the audacity to laugh.

"And who do you think will believe you? You, who slept around and got pregnant by who knows who? Your own family didn't even want you." My face falls at his cruel words. "Oh, did you think I didn't know? You actually thought I was being nice to you? Whores like you have no place in a house of God." His mention of God only fuels my anger further. Without thinking, my hand shoots out and connects with his cheek in a loud slap.

My voice catches in my throat, unable to form words as I stare at him in disbelief. His hand quickly moves to his cheek, rubbing it slowly as if trying to erase the red mark that is surely forming.

"Fucking whore!" he yells before his hand wraps around my neck, cutting off my air supply. I stumble backwards until I feel the hard edge of an altar table against my back. Panic sets in as I struggle for breath, his grip only tightening with each passing second.

"No one would even miss you if you're gone," he sneers, his voice dripping with malice and contempt. In that moment, I realize my mistake. I should have listened to my gut instinct. Instead, I allowed myself to be lured here by him... and now who knows what he did to Claudia. The thought ignites a fierce determination within me, and I begin searching behind me on the table, desperate for something to defend myself with.

Seconds tick by agonizingly slow, and I can feel myself fading...until finally, my hand closes around something cold and sharp. With all the strength I have left, I plunge the knife into his neck. He stares at me in shock as blood gushes from the wound, his grip on my throat loosening as he clutches at the blade protruding from his skin.

Gasping for air, my lungs burn and ache as I stumble away from him. The metallic scent of blood fills the air, mixed with the sickeningly sweet smell of death. Father Guerra's shaking hand reaches for the knife protruding from his neck, his eyes wide with shock and fear. In a burst of crimson, blood gushes out in spurts, flowing like a geyser out of the wound and onto the floor.

His breaths come in ragged gasps, his face turning pale as he falls to his knees and then collapses on the floor with a heavy thud.

As my heart races and adrenaline courses through my veins, I slowly begin to comprehend the gravity of my actions. I...I killed him. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks, and I start to freak out. My hands tremble uncontrollably as I stare at the lifeless body before me, struggling to process what just happened. The weight of taking a human life is almost suffocating.

But then I remember why I did it. He touched Claudia...He was going to kill me... A fierce rage rises within me, warring against the guilt and confusion that threaten to consume me. I can't decide if I should regret what I did or not. Part of me revels in the fact that a monster is dead; but there is also another part of me that can't believe I've taken a life with my own hands.

I try to rationalize it. It's not the end of the world, right? He was a wicked man who deserved to die. Yes...He was an evil man, and the world is better off without him.

But what about me? What will happen to me when they find out? They'll probably send me to prison...No! That's not an option. Panic sets in as I realize the consequences of my actions. I can't leave Claudia. I can't leave my daughter alone to face the world without me.

Think, Catalina, think!

My resolve renewed; I go into fixing mode. I can't allow this to separate me from my daughter. He won't win!

Think, Catalina!

It's a Sunday night... no one will know if I get rid of the body. Yes... I just have to get rid of the evidence and no one will know. I pick up the knife and, using a cloth from the altar, I wipe it clean and deposit it back in its original spot. But looking around the chapel, I realize I'm in a pickle. What do I do with the body? There's absolutely no way I can get rid of a body on my own...

Think, Catalina... Think!

With wide eyes, I frantically scan my surroundings for any sign of inspiration. My gaze finally lands upon the confessional booth, an idea forming in my mind. I grab Father Guerra's limp hands and begin to drag him towards the booth, struggling against his larger size and my own lack of strength.

Eventually, with great effort, I manage to maneuver his body inside the booth, stuffing him inside until I can close the door. But there is still a trail of blood on the floor, causing me to let out a shaky breath. I quickly attempt to clean up the blood as best as I can, though my resources are limited and the result is messy.

As the adrenaline starts to wear off, panic grips me. I can't just leave a dead man in a confessional booth. But I also can't risk dragging him out alone to dispose of his body. I'll need help from someone else, but who? And what will I do after disposing of the body?

Placing a trembling hand over my pounding heart, I desperately try to calm my racing thoughts. I steal a glance at the confessional, waiting for the guilt to consume me. Surprisingly, it doesn't come. The thought of that man touching Claudia fills me with anger rather than remorse. Shaking my head to clear it, I focus on figuring out my next steps.

But first, I need to get rid of this evidence. Glancing around, I spot an organ on the other side of the aisle covered with a red cloth. With determination, I make my way over and uncover a long piece of fabric that could potentially cover my bloody clothing.

Divesting myself of the stained dress, I drape the cloth over my body and tie a knot around my shoulder in a Grecian style. Then, with my already soiled dress, I wipe down the floor again, in the most obvious spots.

I'll do the rest later.

Closing my eyes for a second, I try to calm down again. I can do this... I can do this. With one last glance at the chapel, I make my way out and navigate through the halls, careful to avoid populated areas. The faint scent of incense lingers in the air, a constant reminder of where I am. When I reach the room, I turn the knob slowly and push open the door, revealing Sisi and Claudia on the bed. Sisi's head snaps towards me.

"Lina?"

"Can you come out for a second? And bring me a dress." Sisi furrows her brow in confusion but obeys without question.

I wait outside for what feels like an eternity before Sisi reappears with a dress in hand.

"What is going on?" Her eyes widen as she takes in my disheveled appearance. It must be obvious that something is wrong.

"Something bad happened. Like terrible."

"Lina... you're scaring me."

"Did Claudia tell you anything?" I ask, bracing myself for her answer.

"No... she only mentioned you were with Father Guerra." At the mention of his name, all of the emotions and memories come flooding back, and I break down.

"He was touching her..." I whisper, tears finally starting to stream down my face.

"What do you mean?" Sisi asks, concern etched onto her features.

"He was touching her under her clothes..."

"No!" she exclaims, horrified.

"Where is he? What happened?"

"I... I killed him."

"You're kidding."

"No... I really killed him. I didn't mean to but..."

I tell her every detail about what happened, including how I disposed of the body in the confessional booth.

After a prolonged silence, Sisi finally speaks.

"We need to do something about that." My heart sinks as I expect her to condemn me for being a murderer.

"You... I killed a man," I repeat, waiting for condemnation.

"Yes, and I would have killed him, too. That wastrel! Now, about the confessional booth," she adds pensively.

"That's why I came back. I can't do it alone. I know this is too much to ask but..."

"No buts!" Sisi shuts me up and continues. "Come on, dress, and we'll figure it out." She gives me a big hug and lets me change into something more decent.

"I need to talk to Claudia first," I say, and she nods, stepping back to allow me into the room.

"I'll be here. Let me know when to come in."

I leave Sisi outside and tentatively open the door to the room.

"Mamma!" Claudia exclaims and comes towards me. "I'm sorry," she mumbles and starts crying.

"No, baby, no. It's not your fault."

"But you were mad... you screamed at me. You never scream." She mumbles, her small hands rubbing at her eyes.

"Shh..." I slowly pat her hair and lead her towards the bed.

"Claudia, my love, please tell me... has Father Guerra touched you like that before?" I don't know how I manage to mask the tremor in my voice. Claudia raises her dewy green eyes to look at me.

"Once... he told me he'd give me a chocolate every day if I let him." My heart is breaking as she tells me this.

"Did he... did he do more than that?" I almost don't want to know, but I must.

Claudia shakes her head.

"Are you sure? You can tell mamma; I promise I will not get mad."

"No." She shakes her head even harder. I want to believe her... My daughter... my daughter almost went through the same thing I did all those years ago. I bring her to my chest and I tighten my arms around her. She's fine... She's okay. And he's dead... He can't hurt her anymore. That's what I tell myself as I rock her in my arms.

A while later, Claudia is deep asleep. Sisi takes me aside and tells me her idea.

"It might work. No one will know if we bury him in the cemetery."

"How are we going to carry him there, though?" I whisper back at her.

"Your luggage case?" she suggests. That might just work.

We empty the luggage of all its contents, and then we leave for the chapel.

"Sisi, are you sure you want to do this? It's my fault... I can just tell them what happened." I don't want to drag her into my mess... The situation is getting out of hand. And it is my fault.

"And who'd believe you? You already said he's from a prominent family. They probably have enough influence to make sure you get blamed for everything. Think about Claudia. What would happen to her without her mother?" She asks, and I freeze. That's exactly what I'd been thinking about. What would happen to my daughter? Turning myself in doesn't seem like a good possibility, especially given that Father Guerra was Mother Superior's favorite.

"What if Mother Superior was in on it too?" Sisi suddenly asks. I turn sharply.

"What do you mean?"

"She knows that when you are on duty, I take over watching Claudia. With me doing double the chores, Claudia would be left alone."

"And vulnerable. You're right. He's been plying her with sweets to gain her trust since the beginning. And no one would have turned an eye if she went somewhere with Father Guerra. He's a priest after all." I add, but this just makes me even sicker to my stomach.

Were they planning this? To defile my beautiful baby? I can barely control the rage I feel inside at the thought... but I know I can't regret killing him, even if it was in self-defense. He wanted to hurt my baby.

Inside the chapel, we head straight for the confessional booth. Sisi is quiet as I open the door. She looks at Father Guerra's bloody body with an almost inscrutable expression.

We open the suitcase and lay it on the ground. Then, the both of us grab onto Father Guerra and dump him in the suitcase.

"He's too big," she scrunches her nose.

"We just need to fold him a little." She tilts her head to the side as she considers this.

"How about we try a fetal position?" She circles the suitcase, her face sporting a big frown. She's probably imagining the different angles.

"Let's try."

We rotate his body, trying varying angles to fit him inside. Lucky for us, he's not a very tall male, probably only five inches taller than my own five-foot-three frame. After much trial and error, he's folded nicely in the suitcase.

I grab onto one zipper while Sisi holds onto the other, and we try to meet halfway. It takes a little sitting on top of it to make the suitcase close, but we manage.

"Damn." She wipes the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.

The convent has its own cemetery. Sacre Coeur has a history stretching back almost two hundred years, and this cemetery was inaugurated during the 1918 influenza outbreak. Since then, it's been used sparsely, when nuns pass away. The advantage is that the cemetery is located close to the chapel, so the body can be put to rest right after the religious services.

There are maybe two administrative buildings that we have to pass on the way to the cemetery. Sisi's idea to place the body in the luggage was brilliant. The luggage's wheels make it easy to carry it towards the cemetery. Once there, we look for a hidden parcel, where the presence of fresh earth would go unnoticed. We find just the place, right next to a willow tree. The shadow cast from the tree should mask the turned earth.

"Wait!" Sisi says and dashes towards one of the smaller sheds next to the cemetery. She only takes a few minutes before returning with two shovels.

"Now's the hard part." She sighs and thrusts the shovel into the ground before scooping up some earth and dumping it to the side. I take the other shovel and do the same.

It must be a couple of hours later when, almost drenched in sweat, we finish digging.

"Honestly, this wasn't that bad," Sisi comments, and my head snaps towards her. Is she serious? "I think I'd rather dig up graves than wash dishes. Do you think I can apply for the position?" She's extremely serious as she asks this, and I can't help but laugh.

"Sisi..." I start, but I can't stop laughing. "You really want to trade dishes for graves?"

"It's still work." She shrugs, but I can tell she's amused as well.

"Let's do this!" I bring forward the suitcase and together we throw it into the hole.

"I say it's deep enough."

"I think so," I agree.

We grab the shovels once more and cover the hole with earth. This doesn't take nearly as long, and we soon find ourselves back at the chapel, trying to wipe away all evidence of the crime.