Monster in Disguise

8. Catalina

Catalina

C laudia hasn't mentioned Father Guerra since the incident. I'm relieved that she doesn't seem to be deeply affected, but it's clear she doesn't fully understand what happened.

I tried to explain that what he did was wrong and that she should never let anyone touch her like that. However, she seemed more concerned about me yelling at her.

I reassured her multiple times that it wasn't her fault and that even adults can misbehave, using Father Guerra as an example. Our talks may have had an impact because she no longer brings up the event.

Similarly, Sisi has also acted like our late-night escapade never occurred. She doesn't mention Father Guerra at all, and everything appears to be back to normal.

Or so we thought.

As it turns out, not everyone has forgotten about Father Guerra. A few days later, rumors start circulating that he abruptly left. Some nuns claim Mother Superior is distraught over his sudden absence. After hearing these whispers, I finally give in and ask Sisi:

"Do you think they'll try to find him?"

"Don't worry. There's no chance of them finding him, right? There's no trace of him," she answers in a hushed tone.

The burden of guilt continues to press heavily on my heart, regardless of how much I attempt to rationalize my deeds. The vision of Father Guerra with his hand up Claudia's skirt haunts me, and I can't shake the memory of his eyes just before he met his end. It's a secret I've yet to share with Sisi, but each night since that ill-fated evening, Father Guerra has invaded my nightmares.

Previously, it was only the monster with amber eyes who tormented me. But now... my dreams have shifted.

They always start with that enigmatic man, the one with piercing amber eyes. His features remain indistinct, but the overwhelming dread he stirs forces me to flee. Yet, he always catches up to me, pinning me from behind. In the past, my dreams ended when he lifted my skirt and forced himself upon me. But now... I resist.

I shove him off and defend myself. However, every time I lash out at him, he morphs into Father Guerra.

And I kill him.

I had hoped that reason would help me forget about that night. But it seems my subconscious is adamant about clinging to those memories.

Tonight proves no different as I find myself tossing and turning in bed, sleep eluding me. Glancing at the clock reveals it's nearing six in the morning; quietly slipping out of bed, I pour myself a glass of water.

"You're not okay," Sisi's voice surprises me as she props herself up in bed, observing my every move.

I respond by shaking my head.

"He deserved it, right?" She pats the spot next to her and I join her on the bed.

"In my mind... yes," comes my sad reply. "But guilt keeps gnawing at me."

"Just try to forget about it. Time will make it easier," Sisi offers her advice.

Just then, a blood-curdling scream shatters the silence. My frown deepens as I glance at Sisi, instantly recognizing the voice of another nun.

Sisi quickly springs out of bed, hastily donning her habit as we both dash towards the source of the screams.

"What are you doing?" I hiss.

"Aren't you curious?" She asks, her voice a mere whisper amidst the constant screams in the distance.

I glance over at Claudia, still sound asleep, and give in to Sisi's prodding. As we make our way out of the room and lock the door behind us, I can feel my heart pounding in anticipation and fear.

"It's coming from the grotto," Sisi points towards a direction and takes off running.

As we approach the grotto, I see a group of nuns gathered around, their faces etched with terror. Some are frantically crossing themselves, others kneeling and praying fervently. Sisi pushes her way through the crowd impatiently, pulling me along with her. But as she reaches the front, she suddenly freezes in shock.

"Mother of God... What..." Sisi stammers, her gaze transfixed on something ahead. I shift to the side slightly so I can see what has captured her attention. And then it hits me like a wave.

In the center of the grotto stands a replica of Michelangelo's Pietà sculpture. But instead of Christ cradled in Mary's arms, there lies Father Guerra's bloated and discolored body. His naked form is covered in brown bruises and purple blotches, his chest cavity exposed and his organs spilling out onto Mary's dress.

Flies buzz around him hungrily while maggots crawl over his skin, some even falling onto the ground below. The stench of decay fills the air, causing nuns to faint mid-prayer.

But that's not even the worst part.

As I approach the base of the statue, I notice a dark liquid staining the stone. A closer look reveals that it is blood, and upon further inspection, I see a message scrawled in the crimson substance—five words that send shivers down my spine.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID

The words seem to jump off the stone, taunting me with their ominous weight. The air feels thick and suffocating as I read them over and over again. My hand shakes as I reach out to touch the words, feeling the cold stickiness of the blood beneath my fingertips.

"Blasphemy!" one nun yells, her voice breaking through the tense silence.

I turn to see Father Guerra's head hanging loosely at the neck, his once-human features distorted by putrefaction and the scavengers that have been at work. His flesh is thin and rotting, his spine fully exposed. Even in death, his head continues to move slightly up and down until finally, with a sickening thud, it falls to the ground. The nuns scatter away from it in fear.

My heart races as I take in this macabre scene. My feet feel unsteady beneath me, but before I can collapse, Sisi grabs onto my arm.

"Lina?"

"Who..." I whisper, unable to form a coherent thought. "I can't."

"We need to leave." Sisi's urgency breaks through my shock and she pulls me towards the back of the church. Just then, Mother Superior appears.

The moment she sees Father Guerra's remains, she crosses herself and drops to her knees, her eyes wide with horror.

"Let's go." Sisi urges me on, pulling me away from Mother Superior's gaze. We make our way back to our room as quickly and quietly as possible.

Claudia is still asleep in her bed when we enter. We try to keep our voices low so as not to wake her.

"Someone saw me... Oh Lord, someone knows." Panic begins to overtake me as I think about the implications. The image of Father Guerra's mutilated body, displayed for all to see, will haunt me forever. I can't unsee it...

"You don't know that."

"It was written there. You saw it too." I bring a hand to my forehead and close my eyes, willing the disturbing images away. "I need to do something... We can't stay here. It's too dangerous. What if whoever did this comes for us next? Or worse, Claudia?"

"Maybe it was just a prank," Sisi suggests, trying to calm me down.

"A prank?" I turn towards her, incredulous. "Did you see what they did to his body? They debased him in death... No, I can't stay here. I won't wait around and become their next victim." The fear and urgency in my voice are palpable as I make my decision. We have to leave. Now.

"I understand, but what can you do?"

Bringing my nails to my mouth, I bite them, the anxiety eating at my sanity. What can I do?

Think, Catalina, think!

"I need to call Enzo, tell him everything," I blurt out. I don't know if Enzo can do anything, but maybe he can at least protect my daughter.

I don't even wait for Sisi to reply. I go directly to my hidden spot and take out my phone, dialing Enzo. He picks up on the first try.

"Lina?" he asks, clearly surprised I'd call this early.

"Enzo... I need help. I screwed up," I start, my voice trembling as I try to explain what happened.

"Slow down, piccola . What happened?"

And so I tell him. Not in great detail, but I think he understands enough because he immediately tells me,

"I'll be there in a couple of hours. Don't move! Don't leave your room, understood?"

"Yes," I whisper, and I hang up.

"You're leaving?" Sisi asks.

"I don't know. Enzo told me to wait for him. I'm more than scared, Sisi... I'm terrified. What if something happens to Claudia? You saw that thing outside. No sane person would do that."

"No, you're right. You can't risk her safety, or yours."

"What about you, Sisi? You helped me!" I'd hate for anything to happen to her because of me.

"I'll be fine," she says dismissively, but I'm not convinced.

"At least call your brother. Let him know you might be in danger," I add.

"I don't think it's necessary. Chances are security will be tightened because of the incident. Don't worry about me, please." She takes my hands in hers. "Let's get you packed up. You need to get out of here."

I reluctantly agree, and we fill a few bags, mostly with clothes. I then gently wake Claudia up and explain to her we may need to leave. In her confused, sleepy state, she just agrees with me, not really asking questions.

True to his word, Enzo is here an hour later. He calls me to come down, as he is waiting in front of the building.

"Enzo!" I call out as I rush to hug him. He kisses the top of my head.

"It's going to be okay, piccola ." He swoops Claudia up and swirls her around.

"Are you ready, moppet?"

"Yes!" Claudia exclaims. I don't know whether she understands that we are leaving the convent, given that she's never seen the outside world, but she's open to it.

"What about Mother Superior?"

"I had a few words with her. She was too distraught to argue with me."

"She was probably glad to see me gone," I add drily.

"I just told her I couldn't in good faith leave you here, at the scene of a crime." He grimaces at the word crime, and I look away. I hadn't told him everything, given my mental state at the time. But I will.

"Let's just get out of here," I say, and he nods.

We soon find ourselves in the back of Enzo's car and on our way to his house... my childhood house. Claudia, still a little sleepy, nods off. I am thankful for that, as I can discuss things with Enzo more freely.

"Guerra, you said?"

"Yes." And then, in a hushed tone, I give him a full account of what happened, from the moment I saw him touching Claudia, to Sisi and I burying him in the cemetery.

"And you have no idea who could have left that message?"

I shake my head vigorously.

"It was like a spectacle... of death. I feel like whoever did that was mocking me."

"It's not the best situation," Enzo grimly admits. "More so because he was a Guerra. We've never been on good terms with them."

"What do you think they'll do?"

"At best? Take revenge. At worst... take revenge," Enzo says cryptically, but I try not to think too much about it.

We get home and Enzo suggests I take my old room.

"I'll keep Claudia with me for now, since this is a foreign place for her."

"Go rest, piccola. If you need anything, just let me know. Allegra won't come home anytime soon, but Luca is here. I'll introduce you later. Maybe he and Claudia will get along."

"That sounds good," I nod.

Enzo takes Claudia in his arms and lays her down on my childhood bed.

"Everything is the same..." I remark as Enzo is about to leave.

"I told you I'd get you back, piccola. Maybe the circumstances aren't ideal right now, but this is your home."

"Thank you!" I kiss his cheek.

Closing the door, I take a deep breath and look around my old room. It still has my teenage clothes, and everything I'd not been able to take with me to Sacre Coeur. Shifting my gaze to a sleeping Claudia, I can't help but smile.

I don't care where I am, as long as she's with me—safe.

She's all that matters.

The following day, Enzo asks to speak with me. From the tone of his voice, I can tell he doesn't have any good news to share. After we'd woken up, Claudia and I had headed to breakfast, where we'd also met Enzo's son Luca.

As expected, Claudia and Luca had become fast friends, especially when Luca had invited her to play with his toys. For a little girl who's only ever lived within the confines of a convent, this was a whole new adventure. I'd encouraged her to have some fun.

As I take a seat opposite Enzo, I can't help but fidget.

"Lina..." He starts and shakes his head. He's holding a letter in his hand, which he passes to me.

"What's this?" I ask. His mouth is set into a rigid line. With a trembling hand, I grab the letter and open it.

Skimming the contents, I feel my stomach drop.

"This... but how?" I ask.

"I don't know. I really have no idea how they found out. Whoever dumped Guerra's body into the grave must have told them about you."

"What now?"

The letter detailed the things the Guerras would do to me if they caught me. They stated that they knew I was the one who killed Father Guerra, and that I'd suffer in kind for the insult afforded to their family.

"It's not an optimal situation. They feel slighted because you are a woman."

"And a woman can't possibly kill a man, you mean?" I ask sarcastically. Enzo grimly nods.

"You need protection, Lina. Both you and Claudia need protection."

"We have you, right?"

Enzo shakes his head. "It won't be enough. You need someone who will protect you at all times; and someone that they can't cross. As much as it pains me to say... I'm stretched too thin. Between running the famiglia and our businesses, there's also an ongoing conflict with other organizations."

"We could just stay here. Hide here," I add, trying to convince him we can be safe here.

"And if they attack? Who is to say they won't attack when I'm called away to deal with something? It could happen."

"Then what can I do?" I'm trying very hard to hold back the tears. What Enzo is saying... does that mean that we'll never be safe? That we will have to always look over our shoulders? I can't have that for Claudia... even Sacre Coeur is better than that. But the convent is no longer safe now.

"Get married." Enzo drops the bomb on me. My mouth hangs open in shock. Marriage? But who... no one would have me.

"Marriage?"

"Yes. You could get married to a powerful enough man that would ensure both your safety and that of your daughter."

"But... Enzo, surely you know that no one will have me. I'm damaged goods." I drop my volume at the last words, ashamed of myself.

"Don't say that. Lina... never say that again. You are not damaged goods," he reprimands, and I turn my head, not wanting to see his reaction.

"Who will have me, Enzo?"

"Someone will. In fact, just a few days ago, he came over to see me regarding an alliance. He would never say no to you." Enzo says confidently, but I can't help but be skeptical. Surely once that man realizes who I am... and that I have a daughter, he will no doubt back down.

"Who is it?" I ask. Before Enzo even tells me his name, I make a vow to myself. Whoever it is, as long as he accepts me and my daughter, I will also accept him, and do my duty as a wife.

Enzo purses his lips. "Marcello Lastra."

My eyes widen and I gasp when I hear the name.

"Sisi's brother?" Enzo nods.

"If the situation wasn't this dire, I would have never given you to him. Trust me on this, Lina. But right now, I fear he might be our only chance."

The good-looking man...

"Do you have anything against him?" I ask, almost hesitantly. Appearance-wise, Marcello Lastra was handsome, maybe even too handsome.

"There's something off with him... I can't put my finger on it. He asked for your hand before, you know. I never approved of him, but father was ready to marry you off."

"What?" I'm shocked at that piece of information. "Marcello asked to marry me? When?"

"A little while before the incident," Enzo says, looking extremely uncomfortable bringing that up. "Of course, it never came to pass because of that. After, his father died and Marcello just disappeared."

"I didn't know that," I add slowly, trying to digest this. Marcello had wanted to marry me? A foreign feeling of warmth was developing in my stomach. Maybe... maybe not all is lost. Just thinking about that glimpse I'd had of him, and how much I'd liked him...

"I'll marry him," I say, maybe too fast. "For Claudia," I amend. And for me.

Enzo sighs. "I really didn't want it to come down to this. But... I'll call him. Have him come for a meeting."

A while later, when Enzo informed me that Marcello would come for a meeting tomorrow, I barely kept a straight face. I nodded, thanked him, and ran to my room.

I have to admit to myself that I'm entirely too giddy at the prospect of meeting him in the flesh... talking to him. It will be like a scene from my dreams. He'll even kiss me...

My hand goes to my lips, and I sigh. I don't want to think about what comes after kissing. Not now, when I am so happy at the idea of marrying someone—a handsome someone.

But what if he doesn't like me? The thought suddenly makes me pause. What if... Yeah, he wanted to marry me, but that was over a decade ago. I was an untouched young woman back then. Now... I come with baggage; emotional and physical. I'll just have to be extremely honest from the outset. Let him know everything about me. Then, he can decide if he wants to marry me or not. Decision made; I already feel a little lighter.

I'm still worried that he will not want me, maybe because I want him so much. I know I am projecting as I don't know the guy. But my attraction to him had been so sudden and so surprising that it had left a mark on me. Then, I'd used all the information I had on him to create this ideal person who would sometimes visit me in my dreams.

I groan out loud, internally cringing at my behavior. I need to stop. Whatever happens, happens. I need to worry about my daughter, not about some man that I don't even know.

Claudia seems to like that we've left Sacre Coeur; she keeps on raving about all the things in the house she's never seen before—especially the technological stuff. When Luca had shown her his toys, she'd been in awe. I felt bad because I'd never been able to give her something like that. But there is still time, right?

The only thing that seems to be a problem is the fact that Claudia is missing Sisi something fierce. Then the thought occurs to me. What if I can convince her brother to get her out of there, too? She could live with us... if he accepts me, that is.

I don't think Sisi's ever wanted to be a nun; she certainly doesn't have an inclination for it. But she's never known anything else. Raised by nuns since birth, that's all she's ever known. I've noticed multiple times how she tries to convince herself that taking her vows is what she's meant to be doing, because deep down she doesn't dare hope that there can be anything else for her.

With everything that's happened in the last week, I hope I can put in a word for her. I just can't let her waste away at Sacre Coeur.

The next morning, I head early to the kitchen for a cup of tea. My nerves are killing me. I'd like to think that everyone in my position—with danger looming over our heads—would be this anxious. I settle on Valerian for my nerves. I'm at the kitchen table, enjoying the tea, when a woman saunters in, her makeup smudged all over her face, her clothes in disarray.

"And you are?" She stops in her tracks at the sight of me, her eyes narrowing. I'm about to answer, but she just goes ahead with her tirade.

"I can't believe this! He's now bringing his whores home." She plants herself in front of me and studies me from head to toe. Her lips curl in disgust. "It seems his type changed too." She tips my head with her finger.

"You got it wrong." I move out of her reach. "I'm Enzo's sister," I try to explain, although it's odd that she wouldn't recognize me. We'd met a few times in the past. "Catalina."

She frowns for a second before she laughs. "That's simply great! He's into incest now? I should have realized." She mumbles some more before stumbling out of the kitchen, throwing her shoes around on her way out.

Good Lord, how is that Enzo's wife? And where was she that she came home looking like that? When Enzo comes down a while later, I mention what happened, but he just shakes his head.

"Don't mind her. She's not well," he grimly adds.

"She thought I was..." I blush, and Enzo quickly picks up on that.

"I can imagine what she thought. Don't listen to her. If possible, ignore her. That's what I usually do." He shrugs, going to the counter and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"She didn't recognize me," I muse more to myself.

"Doesn't surprise me." Enzo adds with a scoff before collecting himself. "She's not well... mentally."

"Oh." I drop the subject, realizing it's one that bothers Enzo. I'll just do my best to avoid Allegra in the future.

"Marcello will come by around noon." He brings his coffee to the table and joins me. "I'll talk to him first, then you two can meet." Enzo lays out the plan and I just nod, the anxiety I'd felt before returning full force.

"Lina," Enzo puts his hand on top of mine. "We'll get through this, I promise you. No one is going to harm you, or Claudia."

I nod. I hope so too.

It's hours later that I keep pacing around my room, waiting for Enzo to be done with his meeting. The cook, Melissa, had offered to take both Claudia and Luca shopping. Since this is all new to Claudia, I'd agreed, especially when she'd assured me they would be accompanied by several bodyguards.

My palms are sweaty, and when a maid comes to let me know Enzo's called for me, I try to compose myself to the best of my abilities. I go down the stairs and see Enzo with a cigarette in his mouth. He nods his head towards his office.

"How did it go?" I whisper.

"He agreed, but only after he talks to you. He said he wants to get your express consent."

The moment I hear that, it's like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

"Really?" My hopeful tone must be too obvious, because Enzo grimaces.

"I don't like this," he reiterates. "But it's the only solution to our problems." He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. "Go on. Settle his mind, and we'll convene to discuss the details."

Leaving Enzo behind, I head towards his office. With a deep breath, I muster the courage and knock on the door before opening it.

Marcello is with his back towards the door, sitting leisurely on a chair.

My heart races as I tentatively greet him, my voice laced with nervousness. He slowly turns around, and his piercing gaze travels up and down my figure. Suddenly, I feel self-conscious in my simple blue Sunday dress that reaches my ankles. It cinches at the waist, giving me a slight hint of definition.

My palms feel clammy and I try to discreetly wipe them on the fabric of my dress.

Marcello rises from his chair and gestures for me to take a seat across from him. As I step forward, I extend my hand in greeting. But he only spares it a passing glance before fixing his intense gaze back on my face. Feeling foolish, I quickly retract my hand and smooth down my dress awkwardly again before taking a seat. Does he not like what he sees? Why isn't he saying anything?

"Catalina." He nods at me, finally breaking the tense silence as he settles into his chair.

"My brother must have informed you of the circumstances," I begin, trying to maintain a calm facade despite the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Marcello looks just as handsome as when I last saw him...maybe even more so up close. His warm whiskey-colored eyes meet mine, and I realize that I hadn't noticed their depth before.

His gray suit gives off an air of sophistication and his groomed hair adds to his overall sleek appearance. Once again, I can't help but wonder what he sees when he looks at me. Should I have worn makeup? But having never really worn any before, I wouldn't know how to apply it anyway.

"He has," he replies, his voice sending shivers down my spine. There's a husky quality to his tone that makes me want to ask more questions just so he'd keep on talking.

He leans back in his seat, still observing me. I try awfully hard not to fidget under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Are you agreeable to this match?" His voice is smooth and confident, and I find myself nodding without hesitation.

"Yes." But a wave of guilt washes over me. He probably doesn't know... "But before we go any further, there's something I need to tell you. You can decide if you still want to marry me after." I steal a glance at him, but his expression remains nonchalant. He simply nods, and I take a deep breath.

"I'm not..." I pause, struggling to find the right words. "I'm not pure," I finally blurt out.

There's a flicker of surprise in his eyes, quickly replaced by indifference. "That doesn't matter to me."

"But that's not all. I have a daughter..."

"Enzo mentioned that," he interrupts. There's an intensity in his gaze that sends shivers down my spine. Gathering my courage, I continue.

"I won't be separated from her." He nods understandingly.

We sit in silence for a moment as he takes me in.

"How old is your daughter?"

"She's nine and a half," I reply, feeling the weight of his scrutiny. "She's very well-behaved; she won't cause you any trouble," I add hastily. Perhaps he assumed my daughter was an infant or toddler, and I can understand why he might hesitate.

His eye twitches for a split second before he turns away slightly.

"What's her name?"

"Claudia."

"Good," he says with a hint of approval. "You and Claudia won't have to worry about anything."

"It's not... an issue?"

"No," he states firmly. "I have a younger sister at home. She and your daughter are close in age and could get along well." A sense of relief washes over me at his words. "However," he adds seriously, "I do have some ground rules. That's why I asked Enzo to arrange for us to speak beforehand."

I freeze. What does he mean? I wait for him to continue.

"This will be a marriage in name only. I will give you my name, and I will provide for you and Claudia. You will want for nothing. You will be given your own room in the house. How you spend your time is up to you. I will only impose on you if there is an event we are invited to, or if we are hosting one."

My heart plummets at his words, like a stone plummeting to the depths of a dark, frigid ocean. A marriage in name only? There's no way I can conceal my disappointment, yet I attempt to camouflage it behind a forced smile.

"That's fine with me," I respond, striving to appear unfazed by his pronouncement. But inside, my heart is splintering into countless fragments. Doesn't he like me? That's the only plausible explanation.

"And one last thing. Don't touch me." His words smack me as if they're physical blows, and I jerk my head around to stare at him in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" I question weakly.

"Just that. I don't like to be touched. Even something small, like a brush of a hand. Don't." His tone is firm and decisive, allowing no room for negotiation.

I'm too shell-shocked to reply, so I just numbly nod.

"It's better to lay out our expectations from the beginning," he states calmly. "That way, there will be no disappointment."

But his prior declaration has already left me spinning and grappling to process everything.

"That doesn't mean that you can see other men," he abruptly interjects, causing my head to jerk up in surprise.

"What about you then?" The question slips past my lips, and suddenly my mask of indifference drops.

"Me?" He arches an eyebrow at me, as if amused by my query.

"It will be a marriage in name only, as you've said," I persist, fighting to keep my voice steady. "But I'm not allowed to see anyone. Then what about you?"

He throws back his head and laughs; the sound reverberates throughout the room. It's a cruel laugh that twists my stomach with unease.

"You don't have to worry about that, Catalina." He leans forward, so he's closer to my face. "My affliction, so to speak, extends to everyone. I'll be true to my vows; of that you can rest assured." He takes a moment to breathe deeply, before adding, "If I could..."

He shakes his head, a bitter smile forming on his lips.

"If we're both in agreement?" Marcello asks, and I nod.

"Good. Let's get Enzo so we can talk about the formalities."

And so we do. The wedding will be a small affair, to be held in three days. And after that, both Claudia and I will move in with Marcello.

It all sounds lovely, but why do I have this nagging feeling of disappointment?