No Ordinary Love (A Modern Vintage Romance #5)

8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Lucas

A s soon as Amara and Jax sat at our table, the air thickened with a tension that had nothing to do with the humidity outside.

The Blind Tiger Pub had always been one of my favorite spots—rustic and unpretentious. But tonight, it felt like a damn pressure cooker, with everyone trying to act like this wasn't the most awkward situation imaginable. Fucking Shelby, always trying to stir up trouble—but in this case, I was glad she'd put her foot into it. I wanted Amara in a group of people; not alone with Jax. They were on a date, and I hated knowing that.

I was turning into one of those dog-in-the-manger assholes. I didn't want her, but I couldn't let anyone else have her either.

I also couldn't take my eyes off Amara. She looked incredible. That dress she wore at the ball had nothing on the simple black one she had on tonight, hugging her curves just enough to make my chest tighten. Her dark hair was loose, cascading over her shoulders, and the way she laughed—like she was genuinely happy like she had no reason in the world to be hurting—made my gut twist.

Jax was smooth and confident, his arm draped casually over the back of Amara's chair, a clear signal of their relationship status to anyone who was paying attention, which I was. He leaned in close, whispering something that made her laugh again, and I felt a surge of jealousy or regret, or maybe both.

It wasn't fair. I was the one who had ended things, who had chosen to walk away. But seeing her with Jax, so comfortable, so damned effortless, made me question every decision I'd made since.

Kath was beside me, stiffening as she watched my gaze drift toward Amara. I knew she felt it—my attention slipping through her fingers like sand. She'd been fighting to pull me back ever since we reconnected, and tonight, I could once again feel her fear, the way she was starting to realize that maybe this wasn't as simple as she thought—as simple as I had.

"It's like we're all one big, happy family," Shelby chimed in, her smile sharp as a blade.

Her tone was light, but the meaning beneath it was anything but. She was testing me, testing Amara, pushing to see who would crack first. She'd always been like that—playing these games, making sure everyone knew she was the one in control, just like our mother.

"Nothing like a small town masquerading like a big city to keep life interesting." I kept my voice flat, not bothering to hide the edge in my words.

Amara's eyes met mine just for a second before she turned back to Jax. She didn't show her feelings. She was skilled at keeping her emotions in check, never letting anyone see how much things truly bothered her. It used to drive me crazy how calm she could be, how she'd let me spiral and rant while she just sat there, waiting for me to come back down. Now, watching her do it with Jax, I hated how much it reminded me of what I'd lost.

Flynn, who could never let an opportunity to be an asshole slip by, leaned forward, his gaze sliding over Amara in a way that made my fists clench under the table. "Amara, how did you snag our man here?" His tone was too friendly, too interested, too insulting.

"Rena introduced us," Amara threw at him.

"Rena Covington?" Flynn was shocked.

"Is there any other Rena you know?" Jax taunted as he took Amara's hand in his and kissed her knuckles. "At the Magnolia Ball. Best evening of my life."

Son of a bitch!

She'd moved on. I thought I'd wanted this, her to be happy, but I hadn't expected it to hurt quite so much. Was she fucking him? I couldn't get intimate with Kath, and Amara was sleeping with Jax. Didn't she know he was a complete man whore?

"I can't believe it," Flynn sounded incredulous. "I…I thought Rena was team Kath all the way."

"What the hell does that mean?" Jax growled.

"Flynn," I warned, but he just grinned, that slick, obnoxious smirk that always made me want to rearrange his face. He'd been like this ever since we were kids—solicitous, but in a way that made you feel like you needed to wash your hands after shaking his.

Amara didn't flinch, didn't even blink. "What do you mean, Team Kath?" she asked smoothly, taking a sip of her drink.

Before Flynn could speak, his wife stepped in, preventing him from further shoving his foot in his mouth. "Jax, Mama mentioned that you're interested in my Eat Right charity."

It wasn't her charity, but Shelby liked to pretend. It was actually run by some very hardworking and genuinely caring people who were funded by Covington money, which I controlled. Shelby was a figurehead in the truest sense.

"I hear they're doing good work." Jax picked up his wine and toasted. "To friends, old and new."

He looked at Amara intently when he said new . She blushed, and I wanted to kill someone.

"Amara," Flynn slurred, "I met a couple of students of yours. They think you're hot as fuck. How do you get them to learn anything in the class when they're watching you?"

"Man, do you not have a filter?" Jax muttered.

Flynn sneered. "Why are you getting so defensive? I'm just sayin'…."

Before I could just knock him out senselessly, Amara spoke calmly and politely, using her professor-to-student tone.

"My students do just fine. But if you're curious, Flynn, you should enroll in one of my classes. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two."

The table went quiet for a beat, the tension stretching thin. Then Jax laughed, a deep, genuine sound that somehow made the whole situation feel even more surreal. "I think that's a challenge you might want to take, Flynn." His eyes glinted with amusement and pride for how Amara was deftly handling my seriously emotionally damaged brother-in-law. "You could use the education."

Flynn's smile faltered, but he recovered quickly, raising his glass in a mock salute. "I'll keep that in mind."

Shelby, sensing the shift, jumped back in, trying to steer the conversation away from dangerous waters though she'd started this whole thing by being a bitch and throwing down the gauntlet, goading Amara. "Jax, I hear you're going to be doing the charity golf circuit before the season starts."

Jax shrugged, clearly comfortable with the attention. I zoned him out as he talked about golf. I didn't miss the way his hand moved subtly to rest on the back of Amara's neck, his thumb brushing lightly against her skin. It was a small gesture, probably one that someone else wouldn't notice. But I did. And it took everything in me not to react, not to let the frustration and anger bubbling inside spill over.

I had no right to feel this way. I had told Amara I didn't love her. I had chosen Kath. And yet, watching Jax with her made me feel like I was the one who had been left behind.

Kath shifted beside me, clearly feeling the distance growing between us. Her hand found mine under the table, squeezing it tightly, a silent plea to stay with her, to not let my mind drift back to the woman across from us. I squeezed back because what else could I do? But my heart wasn't in it.

"I'm going to get another drink." I suddenly and desperately needed an excuse to get away, if only for a moment. "Anyone need anything?"

"No, we're good," Jax replied, his eyes meeting mine with a calm confidence that only made my jealousy flare hotter.

I stood, feeling Kath's gaze on my back as I walked away. The bar was crowded, full of noise and life, but all I could think about was the table I'd left behind—and the woman sitting at it with another man. The woman I hadn't been able to stop thinking about, no matter how hard I tried.

I needed to clear my head and remind myself why I had made the choices I had. But as I leaned against the bar, waiting for the bartender to notice me, all I could see in my mind's eye was Amara's smile, her laugh, and the way she looked at Jax like he was the only person in the room.

And it hurt like hell.

Fueled by that pain—and maybe a drink or two I shouldn't have had—I followed Amara when she went to the restroom. That was my first mistake, and from there, my missteps fell like dominoes, one after another.

I waited for her to come out of the bathroom and ignored Amara's gasp of protest as I dragged her into a hidden alcove.

"Lucas," she admonished. "What—?"

"We need to talk."

I held both her arms. Was it the three Sazeracs I consumed that were the problem? Was it her smell—that heady floral scent that was all her mixed with some Gucci perfume that I knew she used? Or was it dreaming of her, missing her every fucking day even though I tried not to?

"Talk about what?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Jax…he's not for you."

Her eyes widened, and I wanted to drown in them just as I used to when we made love. God! The pleasure of being inside of her, of having her tell me she loved me. Remembering how good it felt left me weak. My knees all but buckled.

"Why? Because he's one of your precious Charleston elite, and I'm just too blue-collar?" She spat out.

She wasn't resisting me any longer, and I loved how her body felt against mine. Soft. She was always so willing and pliable. It was different from Kath. I hated to compare, but these were the two most important women from my past who were in my present and holding Kath didn't evoke these feelings of possession that slammed into me when I was close to Amara. The violence with which I wanted to hurt Jax didn't compare to how I'd felt when I saw Kath with Mercer—that had been fucking kindergarten compared to the warfare I wanted to launch now.

"No, because he doesn't know you. He doesn't know what you want."

"Because you do?"

"Yes, Tesoro ."

I saw the remembrance in her eyes as I slurred out the endearment that was between us, personal, private, one that I used in bed when I made love with her because she was that, a fucking treasure. I had started using it because she was of Italian descent, and I'd studied for a year in Rome and spoke the language. It was an endearment that I felt suited her to a T.

"Fuck you, Lucas."

"Anytime, baby."

I couldn't resist pressing my hips against hers so she could feel me hard. Being this close to her, my body came alive. I hadn't felt this way with Kath and maybe that was why I hadn't touched her.

I realized I'd been starving for Amara—everything inside me was soaking in her presence, savoring the closeness, even if she was spitting mad.

Her eyes darkened in anger. "You, asshole. How dare you?

A low, feral sound escaped me as I backed her up against the wall of our hiding place, my body pinning hers in place.

"I dare because you're fucking mine."

"Oh, my God, you're delusional." She pushed against me in vain. "Go back to your girlfriend, Lucas, the one you've been panting over for years while you've been using me to warm your bed."

" Tesoro , you weren't warming my bed; you were setting it on fire."

I was aroused beyond reason. My cock was thickening, enjoying being back in its favorite place, nestled into the notch between Amara's delectable thighs.

I stroked the pulse, thrumming at her neck with a free hand.

"Do you miss having me inside you, Tesoro ?"

She gasped in outrage. "No! Because Jax is a very skilled lover and—"

"Shut up," I raged and ground into her. "You don't talk about another man with me."

"But you can be with another woman around me?" Her eyes filled with tears and cracked my heart open. "You said you loved her. You said you never loved me. Stop this now, Lucas. You're only doing this because…."

"Because what?" I lay my cheek next to hers, enjoying the contact, sandpaper against silk.

"This is some sort of game for you, isn't it? Some old game you have with Jax."

I raised my hand and looked at her, bewildered. Is that what she thought?

"What? No. I want you ."

"Well, Lucas, I don't want you."

I looked at her heaving breasts. "Are your nipples hard, Tesoro ? Are you wet?"

She tried to get away from me again, but I was too far gone. My error dominos had a life of their own. I felt reckless because I was feeling alive for the first time since she'd walked out of my life.

I cupped her breasts, and she moaned softly, her head falling back limply.

"Stop," she whimpered. "Stop using me, Lucas."

I stilled at her words.

It took some doing because my body wanted inside her so fucking badly. I wanted to taste her. I could feel her arousal. Smell it. I wanted her.

Finally, I let go of her, groaning at the effort. "I'm not using you, Amara."

"That's all you've ever done." Tears rolled down her cheeks, and I hated that I'd hurt her again . I seemed to keep hurting this beautiful and kind woman.

"No, baby. No. Don't think that. What we had was real."

She sniffled and gave me a sad smile. " Had being the operative word. I won't make the mistake of letting Shelby or anyone else goad me into spending time with you again."

" Amara ," I whispered.

"We're over, and I won't be some pawn between you and Jax as I was between you and Kath."

"You were never—"

"Don't come near me again, please . I told you I'm hurting, and when I'm around you, it hurts more. You say you cared about me—so, show me how much you cared and stay away from me."

She sidestepped me and walked away while I stood staring at her fine ass, wondering how my life had become this shitshow where I was trying to grope my ex next to the women's restroom of a bar while my maybe future girlfriend and wife were sitting next to my ex's new boyfriend.

I was reminded of what Grandma had told me right after the Magnolia Ball.

"Son, you haven't taken the time to truly understand who you are and what you're feeling. You've been drifting through life on autopilot, letting things happen instead of steering the course yourself. It's high time you did some real soul-searching, looked deep inside yourself, and figured out who you really are—not the man you once thought you were or the one you think you ought to be."