No Ordinary Love (A Modern Vintage Romance #5)

10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Lucas

H ugh Bellamy had always been in my life. The Bellamys and my parents had been close friends, which was why Shelby, Flynn, Kath, and I had more or less grown up together.

I respected Hugh and looked up to him, especially after we merged Bellamy Foods with Lowcountry Provisions. He was family—hell, his son was married to my sister, and our lives had been entwined for years.

He was also more than just a father figure or a board member, he was a reminder of all the expectations that came with the Covington name, with the legacy I was supposed to uphold. Expectations I was starting to realize I couldn't—or rather wouldn't —meet.

Hugh and Mama had always wanted the families to unite, which was why when Shelby and Flynn started dating, it was a relief, especially since Kath and I had ended badly. Hugh had been worried then what Kath's defection would mean for business, but I'd been transparent and open with him that Kath and I would keep it professional, which we had.

In the beginning, it had been awkward and difficult when Mercer and Kath were newly dating. She'd been cagey about when exactly they began dating but assured me that she'd never cheated on me. I believed her because I wanted to, and did it matter? She'd left me for my friend. She'd broken my heart, and when exactly she began fucking him would only add to my pain; at least, that was what twenty-five-year-old Lucas, who had never lost anything in his life, had thought.

But after a while, it got better. I started seeing women and all but removed Kath and Mercer from my social life. When Amara and I dated, it was even easier because she was reticent to join the Charleston Society hoopla unless and until I had no choice, and then she accompanied me.

Kath was the social butterfly. I was more of an introvert; I preferred smaller groups of friends than a large, raucous crowd.

I wished I hadn't gone to that damned Magnolia Ball. Seeing Amara there with Jax, whom my grandma had conveniently invited to keep my ex company had been difficult.

Grandma was imbued in Charleston society. She was, after all, the matriarch of the Covington family; she held her status over anyone and everyone she could. She was intelligent in how she worked society to benefit the family business and I'd learned from her. Parties were only relevant if they helped you network and moved your agenda; otherwise, you were better off staying away and not screwing it up, saying the wrong thing to the wrong person, or worse, the wrong thing to the right person.

I'd been taught to behave myself in public, to never tarnish the Covington name.

"But I don't understand why anyone would care if I wore real or fake jewelry, Lucas," Amara protested when I insisted she wear a diamond bracelet I had bought her for a family event.

"They'd notice, and they'd care. Please, Amara. This is important."

She'd worn the bracelet but had promptly returned it to me, refusing to keep it in her house. I had hoped that she'd see the jewelry as hers once we lived together, but since she left it all behind when she left me, it was obvious she never had.

Mama was right; Amara was not from our world. Right now, I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing, especially when Hugh was insisting that I seal the deal with his daughter. The man had always been insistent, but now he was leaning on me harder than ever to solidify my relationship with Kath. We'd had this conversation before, but this time, it felt different. It was as if he were issuing an ultimatum, thinly veiled beneath that Southern charm he wielded like a weapon.

"Lucas, it's time." Hugh's demeanor was clear, he wasn't offering advice—he was giving me a directive. "You and Kath belong together. It's what's best for both families. You've had your time to think, but now it's time to act. You're not getting any younger, and neither is she."

Kath was twenty-nine, a year younger than my thirty. I didn't think I was old and so she definitely wasn't. But knowing Hugh and how our world worked, he was talking about Kath having a child soon.

"We're not dating," I told him emphatically, "We're still—"

"What the hell are you waitin' for, son?" He raised his voice, which he usually didn't do, and that struck me as more than insulting. Did he think I was a child and he could pressure me into getting married?

"I'm waitin' to know if I want Kath to be my wife," I fired off bluntly. "She left me for my friend, Hugh, so it's not like—"

"That was years ago, and she made a mistake."

I clenched my jaw as Hugh all but turned red with rage. He still had a full head of hair, albeit now platinum silver. He wore a tailored suit, and his signature walking stick with an eagle head leaned against my desk. He'd been in a skiing accident many years ago and had first used the stick for practical purposes and now for both support and the aesthetics of it. Hugh could be vain.

"I don't want to make a mistake."

"Is this about that broad you were seeing? Patsy tells me you got rid of her."

I didn't like how he talked about Amara. Not even a little bit.

" Amara was my girlfriend, Hugh and we were living together when she ended the relationship," I reminded.

He guffawed. "Patsy told me what happened. Hell, Lucas, you love Kath, and you were usin' that girl to get your rocks off. We've all been there."

My rocks off? I tamped down my anger, now pissed with his insinuation that Amara was some sort of slut who I'd used to fuck.

"We were living together, Hugh. It might have been for a short few months, but Amara is the only woman I've ever lived with." I wanted to impress upon him how important Amara had been to me and still was.

"You love Kath. You've always loved her, and she you." Hugh went from irritation to cajoling in seconds. This was why he was such a good negotiator; he read the room like a motherfucker. But this wasn't a business deal. This was my life.

"I've known Kath my whole life, Hugh, and I'll always love her, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to jump into a relationship with her."

His pushing me was making me even more reluctant to go there with Kath. I knew she was pissed with me for not going beyond a few perfunctory and almost-platonic kisses, not letting her suck me off as she'd tried the night we'd run into Amara and Jax.

Kath was frustrated that I wasn't ready to jump right into who we used to be. She said she couldn't understand my restraint. Truth be told, I wasn't sure what was up with me either. I had thought that once Kath was mine, I'd be on her and in her twenty-four-seven. But every time I thought about having sex, I could only think about Amara. I could only think about the affection and love we shared in bed, the passion. There had never been hate sex the way Kath and I used to go at it. There had been no makeup sex because Amara and I didn't fight nasty like that.

Had what I thought was an all-consuming passion for Kath actually been a toxic relationship? That thought had been running through my mind far more than I ever expected.

"Make some decisions, son." Hugh stood up. "Your mother and I are expecting an engagement by Thanksgiving."

A wave of frustration washed over me at his casual statement. I could feel the tension in my neck, the way my jaw clenched involuntarily. I wasn't just pissed off at Hugh. I was pissed at myself for letting it get this far. For letting them all believe that Kath and I were headed somewhere we weren't.

I knew why he was mentioning my mother; she wasn't as direct as Hugh, but then she didn't need to be. She knew how to nag and get her way. She'd been dropping hints, pushing her agenda, trying to make it seem like marrying Kath was the natural next step, the one that would tie our families together in a neat little bow. It was as if everyone was more concerned about the optics than about what I actually wanted. Or maybe they just assumed that what I wanted didn't matter. But it did. And the more they pushed, the more I realized that I didn't want what they were offering—not right now, at least.

"I'd hate to let you or Mama down, Hugh, but I need you to be prepared for me doin' exactly that."

Hugh's eyes narrowed. "Lucas, think carefully about how you treat my daughter."

"I'm treating Kath with the utmost respect," I informed him, raising myself. I was two inches taller, and I wasn't going to cower like a kid who had been caught with his pants down with Hugh's teenage daughter. "In fact, I have been as respectful as I was when she was with Mercer."

Hugh seemed to consider that for a moment, and his demeanor softened. "Son, she never married him. She wants to marry you. It's always been you."

"Then why the hell did she leave me for him?" I demanded.

Kath had given me the whole spiel ever since she dumped my ass. She and Mercer were friends, and then it became more. She was young and confused. She and I had been together since we were eighteen, and she thought she wanted someone else. Now, she was wiser.

"She made a mistake," Hugh gritted out. "The girl has paid for it. Hasn't she?"

I quirked an eyebrow. "How do you think she did that?"

Hugh shook his head. "She lost you, son. Can't you see how that messed with her? Man up, Lucas, and claim her. Don't let Kath down. Don't let the family down."

He walked out without waiting to hear from me.

I sank back into my chair.

Kath had always been the easy choice, the expected choice. We had history. She knew my family knew the world we moved in. It had always seemed inevitable that we'd end up together.

The truth? The Kath I was with now wasn't the same girl I'd fallen for years ago. Or maybe she was, and I just hadn't seen it back then. Now I was older, hopefully wiser, and what I saw didn't fill me with the kind of certainty I needed to make a commitment like marriage.

Fuck, if I was honest with myself, it didn't fill me with anything but dread.

I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to shake off the frustration. The problem wasn't just Kath. It was everything . It was the fact that no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't get Amara out of my head. Even after everything—even after I'd hurt her more times than I could count—she was still there, a constant presence in the back of my mind.

I didn't know if I was in love with her. That was the part that fucked me up the most. I'd told myself that what we had was over, that it was better this way. But every time I saw her, every time I thought about her, that confidence slipped. I didn't just want her back—I wanted to be the man she deserved, the man who wouldn't fuck it all up again. But I couldn't be that man if I was still tethered to Kath, to a relationship that had become nothing but an obligation.

The door to my office opened, and Kath stepped in. "Hey, you."

She crossed the room to me, her tone light, trying to brush away the tension. "I thought we could grab lunch today. Maybe go over some of the details for the meeting with Emeril Restaurants next week?"

I looked at her, really looked at her. We used to be close. I didn't want to hurt her.

You didn't want to hurt Amara either; how did that work out for you?

"Your father was here."

Her smile faltered, but she recovered quickly, stepping closer to me, her hand reaching for mine. "Lucas, I told him not to talk to you about—"

"He and Mama are expecting us to be engaged in a couple of months. Did you know that?"

I could see she did because she flushed and looked guilty as hell for an instant before she reeled it in and let the socialite take over. She straightened and held her chin up.

"And what's wrong with that? We're together, aren't we?"

"Are we?" I asked baffled.

"Just because we haven't slept together doesn't mean we're not together. We've spent most of our evenings together and…Lucas, you love me, and I love you."

I pulled my hand away.

I pushed my chair back and got up. I walked to the wall-to-ceiling windows and looked out at the charming city that I called home.

"You need to talk to your father. I told you I needed time, and you keep pushing me, trying to force feelings that aren't there."

Kath ran up to me and yanked my arm so I'd face her. Her eyes widened, and for the first time, I saw a crack in her calm and confident, I have you exactly where I want you, Lucas facade. "Sweetie, I'm not trying to force anything—"

"Yes, you are," I cut her off, my voice harder than I intended. "You know damn well what you're doing. You're playing on our history, on our families, to push me into a relationship I'm not ready for. And I'm not fuckin' having it."

She looked at me, really saw me, and panic rose in her eyes. "But Lucas, we belong together. You know that. We've always been meant to be."

I shook my head, the anger simmering just below the surface. "I won't be coerced, Kath, so ask your father to back the fuck off, and do not ask my mother to talk to me either. She's done plenty of that, and it hasn't moved me closer to you; in fact, it's done the opposite."

Her bottom lip quivered. "You're just confused. I know you're still hurting because of Mercer. I think that's why you're not thinking clearly. Once you have had some time—"

"Stop," I said, my voice like ice. "I'm not confused, Kath. I'm not jumping back into somethin' just because it's easy or because it's what everyone expects."

Her face crumpled, tears spilling over. "Lucas, I love you."

"I know, but this pressure campaign needs to stop."

She stared at me, and I saw the realization sink in. "It will. I promise."

I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Thanks, Kath. Let's try to be friends first, yeah?"

"We've always been—"

"For the past five years, we've been colleagues," I cut in.

She sighed and then gave me a small smile. She cupped my cheek. "I love you so much, Lucas. Please give us a chance."

"I am giving us a chance but that means we take it slow."

Is that really what I wanted? Or did I just want to end this? When had I become such an indecisive prick?

She went on tiptoe and brushed her lips against mine. "Whatever you want," she promised, her eyes warm and loving now. But they didn't match the love and warmth I got from Amara, I thought unfairly.

And that's when the epiphany struck me. Maybe all of this indecision was actually a choice, a clear sign that I didn't love Kath anymore . What I'd been feeling was the aftermath of a long and volatile childhood love, the one I'd lost, who I'd wanted back then . My confusion came not from Kath but from leaving Amara.

Grandma was right. I needed to understand myself first—to look within and figure out who I was—before I could discover whom I loved.