No Ordinary Love (A Modern Vintage Romance #5)

15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Amara

" H e's sending flowers every day?" Jax looked at the yellow roses on my dining table.

"Yep."

Jax picked up the card that came with the flowers and read it out aloud.

"Amara, yellow roses are for friendship, for new beginnings, and for the promise that no matter what happens, I'll always treasure the bond we have. Lucas. P.S. Please unblock my number." He laughed softly. "Man, he's wooing you."

I snatched the card away from him and tucked it away into a drawer. I kept all of them, unable to throw them away. They were a part of Lucas, and like a lovesick simpering idiot, I even re-read the damn handwritten notes.

"He's driving me crazy. Isn't he still dating Kath?" I muttered and bent to check on the duck breasts slow-roasting in the oven.

"Technically, they're not dating. There has been no formal announcement. They have not been seen around town except for some social events."

I snorted. "Really? You think they're not sleeping together?"

"Yep."

I frowned. "I thought you were not Team Lucas."

"I'm not. The way he treated you was cruel and stupid. If I lost someone like you I'd be sending flowers too, along with jewelry if I thought it would work."

I frowned. "Jewelry is not going to work on me."

The doorbell rang, and Jax raised a hand, telling me he'd get it.

I had finally decided to invite people for dinner. Basil was visiting for the weekend, so it was the right time to throw a party. S ince Emily and I had become friendly, she and Ace were coming along as well.

Gemma walked in, sniffing the air. "What smells divine?"

"Duck a l'orange," I announced and gave her a quick hug.

"You look…wow! What's going on?" Gemma demanded.

I quirked an eyebrow and then nodded. "I had a haircut."

"That's not it.

I gave Gemma a wry smile. "Maybe it's the wine." I raised my glass of a nice Bordeaux that Jax brought.

Gemma tilted her head, studying me with those sharp eyes of hers that never missed a thing. "Hmm, maybe. But it's more than that. You're glowing, girl. What gives?"

I opened my mouth to brush her off with some light comment, but the words caught in my throat. Was I glowing? I didn't feel it. If anything, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of chaos, thanks to Lucas's relentless attempts to…what? Win me back? Or just confuse the hell out of me?

"Is it Lucas?" Gemma prodded, leaning against the counter.

I could hear my other guests at the entrance of the house and wished they'd come in faster so Gemma would stop making me think things I didn't want to.

I groaned, rubbing a hand over my face. "It's definitely not Lucas. Or maybe it is. I don't know. He's been sending me flowers every damn day, and I can't figure out if it's sweet or if it's just another way to mess with my head."

Gemma raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Yellow roses. Not exactly a declaration of undying love."

"Yeah, well, maybe that's the problem," I muttered. "He's sending mixed signals. First, he says he wants to be friends. Then, he's slipping in little notes that make me wonder if there's more to it. And all the while, he's still with Kath."

Thankfully my guests came in through the foyer into my open-plan living room, kitchen, and dining area.

I hugged Ace and Emily in greeting. And then saw Basil, who'd just come in. He opened his arms, and I flew into them.

"I've missed you so much," I mumbled into his chest.

"Me too, Sunshine. Me too."

We disengaged, and Jax helped me fill glasses with wine as guests helped themselves to the charcuterie and cheese board I'd placed as an appetizer.

"What are we eating?" Ace rubbed his hands together. "Sorry to bring up the ex, but Lucas said you're an amazing cook."

Emily elbowed her husband, glaring at him. "Excuse the moron here."

"What?" Ace asked innocently, looking at his wife and then turning to me. "I had a drink with Lucas earlier today."

"Is that your orange duck I can smell in the air?" Basil smoothly changed the topic.

I forced a smile, grateful for the distraction. "I'm just trying to impress my favorite people."

"Aww, I'm one of her favorites." Gemma wiped an imaginary tear.

"I'm already impressed." Jax slipped an arm around me.

"I'm so grateful since I live to impress," I quipped, earning a laugh from the group.

"Dinner will be ready in—" Before I could finish, the doorbell rang again. I glanced at Jax, who was already moving to answer it. "I swear if that's another delivery of flowers—"

Jax grinned back at me. "I'll check. Maybe it's jewelry this time."

I watched curiously at the entryway from the foyer into my living space and that's when I heard his voice. It sent a jolt through me.

Everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath.

"I couldn't exactly kick him out." Jax sounded more resigned than surprised as he led Lucas in.

My heart dropped to my stomach. Lucas was holding a bouquet of pink roses. He seemed more determined, less uncertain. There was something in his eyes that made me feel like the floor had just dropped out from under me.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Basil demanded, walking up to Lucas, ready to rip him a new one, no doubt.

"Hi, Basil," Lucas said softly. "Pink roses symbolize gratitude and appreciation."

The room went silent, and all eyes were on me as I stood frozen in place. My heart was racing, and my mind was a mess of emotions I didn't have the time or the energy to untangle.

I glanced at Ace who looked guilty as hell. "I didn't think he'd show up." He raised both his hands in a peace offering.

Gemma cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "Well, this just got interesting."

I forced myself to meet Lucas's gaze, ignoring the flutter in my chest. "Lucas, you can't just show up like this."

"I know," he said, taking a step closer. "But I've missed your cooking, and I thought there would be safety in numbers. Also, I'd have called to warn you, but you've not unblocked me yet."

I swallowed hard, my throat tight. I grabbed the flowers he held and turned my back to him.

"Gemma, sweetheart, can you set an extra plate." I didn't look at anyone as I made a big production out of finding a vase for the roses. I set them on the coffee table in the living room.

Basil was in Lucas's face by the time Gemma set a place for Lucas. "You and Amara are not friends, you get me? You have some big brass ones to show up here."

Lucas smiled uneasily at Basil. "I hurt your friend. I understand that upsets you. I get it. I fucked up. I just…want to make amends. Okay?"

"You're still dating that other woman, though, aren't you?" Gemma piped up.

I groaned softly. What a shitshow? I didn't deserve this drama in my life.

Liar! You're so happy to see Lucas after all this time that your panties are wet, and you're ready to drop to your knees to suck him off .

My vagina, obviously, had a mind of her own, which was in the gutter.

"I have not dated Kath, not since we broke up five years ago." Lucas watched me as he spoke. "I'm not dating her now."

"Then what have you been doing with her?" Emily demanded.

Ace might be Team Lucas but Emily was all Team Amara.

"Hey, Emily." He walked to her, brushed his lips against her cheek, and shook hands with Ace. "I'm not doing anything with Kath except working with her."

He then went to Gemma and gave her a quick hug, which the traitor responded to with a grin.

"It sure looks like you're with her," Jax prodded.

The oven beeped then, loudly, as the timer went off. The room went silent except for the strains of jazz playing on my Bose speaker.

"God! All I wanted was a pleasant dinner with friends for the first time in forever, and we have this ." I flung my arms up in the air and went to the oven. "Everyone, take a seat. Jax, fill glasses with wine, will you?"

Gemma came to me. "Can I help you plate?"

"No." I didn't want anyone near me right now because I was likely to start screaming and not stop. Who the hell did Lucas think he was coming here?

But he told you he hasn't slept with anyone since you. That means something, doesn't it?

Big fucking deal, I told myself. I hadn't had sex with anyone since Lucas either, so it wasn't like he'd made some big sacrifice.

Lucas obviously didn't listen to my instructions and leaned against the counter as I pulled out the duck to rest under foil. I turned the oven off and set the dinner plates in to warm up.

"You always do that. Warm the plates," Lucas mused.

"My mother used to do this."

"I know, you told me. How's your father doing?"

"He wants to knock your teeth out," I muttered angrily as I started to assemble everything I needed to plate the meal. I was serving the duck with parsnip puree, steamed broccolini, and a side watercress salad with orange sections.

"I'm sorry, Amara. Don't shut me out."

"Why?"

"Because," he dropped his voice so only I could hear him, "I love you."

His words hung in the air, heavy, and I felt my resolve waver. He was saying what I wanted to hear, everything I'd been afraid to hope for. But I couldn't just let myself fall into his arms and forget the pain he'd caused.

"You never said it before. I don't know if I can believe you now." My voice trembled despite my best efforts.

"Give me a chance to show you."

"You hurt me, Lucas. How do I know this time will be different?"

He moved closer to me and I could feel the heat of his body, and when he spoke, his voice was low and filled with a raw honesty that sent a shiver up my spine. "You don't, Tesoro . And I'm not asking you to believe me right away. But I'm asking you to give me a chance—one chance to prove to you that I'm not the same man who let you go."

I stared at him, my heart pounding in my chest, torn between the part of me that wanted to believe him and the part of me that wanted to protect myself from more hurt.

"I don't know if I can do that," I whispered, the vulnerability in my voice catching me off guard.

Lucas reached out, gently taking my hand in his. His touch was warm and grounding, and for a moment, I let myself just feel it—feel him.

"There's no rush. Just let's enjoy the wonderful meal you've cooked," he suggested. "And maybe Basil will add to the entertainment by beating the shit out of me."

I choked out a watery laugh.

"You can stay for dinner." My voice was barely above a whisper. "But don't think for a second that this is more than that. We're not friends. We're not lovers. We're nothing ."

He gave me one of his genuine smiles. "I'm a guest at your dinner table. For now, that's enough."

We worked together in harmony, as we used to when we dated and lived together. I did the duck and the vegetables. He added the salad and topped it with pine nuts for some crunch.

To my surprise, dinner was fun, easy, and relaxed despite the initial drama. We had good food, great wine, and some very eclectic and interesting people coming together.

I loved the diversity in my friend circle. Gemma was African American. Basil was half Latino and half white. Ace and Emily were both mixed race, though I wasn't sure of the specifics. As for me, with my half-Italian father, quarter-Native American maternal grandmother, and quarter-British maternal grandfather, I was also far from typical Anglo-Saxon, though I often passed for it.

We also had various professions at the table. Ace and Jax were professional golfers, though I learned that Ace also worked at a veteran's rehab center as he was a trained physical therapist. Emily had her own event planning business and had been working as a planner for many years. Lucas had his own company. Gemma, Basil, and I were academics, though different disciplines.

Eventually, Basil didn't beat the shit out of Lucas, but he also told him to buzz off when he offered to clean up after dinner.

"I haven't seen my girl in months, and she still likes me," he told Lucas.

Thankfully, Lucas left with a polite thank you and didn't respond to my " don't send me anymore flowers " demand.

Once we finished cleaning up, Basil and I sat on my back porch with glasses of vintage port that he'd brought.

"You letting him back in." Basil swirled the port in his glass.

"Is that a statement or question?" I put my feet up on Basil's lap.

I was sitting sideways on the outdoor couch I'd recently bought, which was quickly becoming my favorite place to work and relax, especially with the weather being so perfect this time of year. It wasn't too hot or too cold—just right. Soon, it would get colder, and by Thanksgiving, I would need to find an outdoor heater if I wanted to sit here.

Basil set his glass aside and automatically began to rub my aching feet. I'd been on them all day cooking and cleaning.

"A statement."

"You think I'm that weak?"

Basil pushed into my right arch, and I moaned. "There is no weak or strong here. That man made a mistake. He knows it now."

"What if he makes a mistake again?"

"He won't. Well, not the same mistake, at least."

"How do you know?" I leaned back and looked intently at Basil.

Big swings of emotion did not drive my friend. He was level-headed and analytical.

"Lucas comes from a world that is stifling. They may have money, but they have more rules and regulations than the FDA. Dating you was already creating waves. When you moved in together, I'm sure his mother and sister started to push his buttons every which way they could."

"It sounds like what you're saying is that Lucas is weak."

Basil twisted one of my toes.

"Ouch."

"Shut up and listen to your Yoda."

"Great one, you are; speak, if you must," I said facetiously, giving my best Yoda impression.

He chuckled. "You have a supportive father and friends who encourage you to live your life on your terms. Lucas has people who tell him not to dishonor the family name."

I considered what he said. "Jax told me that when he told his family he wanted to play golf, they all but disowned him."

"See."

"But he did it."

"From what he's told me, he has two older brothers who could take care of the family business. Lucas is the only son. Also, compared to the Caldwells, the Covingtons are an older, wealthier, and more prominent family. The pressure on Lucas must've been and probably still is immense." Basil picked up his port and drank a little.

"He never told me."

"He probably didn't want to hurt your feelings 'cause you can be sensitive about this shit." I gently kicked Basil, and he held my offending foot down. "I think not standing up against his mother was how he kept the peace because if he let her do that, he could have you."

I'd never considered that, and it made me wonder what it said about Lucas and me that our communication was so poor. Maybe it was fitting that we weren't together. I hadn't told him how much his mother hurt me, and he hadn't shared what he was dealing with on the family front.

"When you said you wanted to leave him because of what you heard, which you were right to do, he caved."

I let out a deep breath. "He hurt me."

"And himself."

"He said he loves Kath and not me."

"Easier to let you go if he believes that."

"I hate this psychology shit."

Basil laughed. "Don't hate me because I'm smart."

"What do you think he wants now?"

"He wants you back."

"There were too many things against us and that has not changed. We apparently sucked at communicating what we were going through. His family hates my guts."

"Except Rena," Basil pointed out. "She hooked you up with Jax."

"Right. But that woman scares the bejesus out of me."

"She's intimidating," Basil agreed. He'd encountered Rena Covington at university fundraisers.

"What do you think I should do?"

Basil shook his head. "I can't tell you, Sunshine. I am just telling you what I think is going on. You have to figure out what you want."

I pulled my legs up and leaned my chin on my knees. "I don't know what I want."

"Yes, you do. You're afraid to want it, but what you want is to go back in time and be with Lucas like none of this happened."

I sighed. My friend knew me very well.

"But wanting what was in the past is not going to take me into the future," I remarked. "I'm going to think about it."

"Yeah, and while you're at it, you shouldn't eye fuck Lucas quite so blatantly when you do."

"I did not eye fuck him." I picked up a cushion and threw it at Basil.

He laughed as he caught it and threw it back at me. "All through dinner. I thought you were going to drag him into your bedroom."

I hugged the cushion. "He looked delicious. And he smelled so good. I miss sex."

"Just sex?"

"I miss sex with him," I admitted wanly.

"The first step to recognizing a problem is admitting it," he stated condescendingly.

"I don't have a problem."

"Do, too."

We talked into the early morning, and it felt like no time had passed since I last saw him. That was the true test of a good friendship—after months apart, we were still perfectly in sync.