Noaz (Van Doren #2)

18. Noaz

18

NOAZ

It’s late by the time we get back to our house. My feet ache and I wasn’t even in heels. There’s a part of me that wants to keel over and sleep for the next six hours, but I know there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep.

My body and my head are so keyed up. I get to enjoy my husband tonight for the first time. My husband !

As soon as we’re inside, I kiss his lips and back away. “I’m going to get ready. Lock up and meet me in our bedroom?”

Briar’s crooked smile has my stomach fluttering. I didn’t eat much at our reception. A combination of nerves and knowing I need to be ready for tonight.

We haven’t discussed it but I planned on bottoming. Which is completely fine with me. I love both and am not normally picky about which.

I shut the bathroom door behind me and pause to look at myself in the mirror. Though I would have drooled over it, I’d have never been brave enough to choose something like this for myself. It’s stunning. While I’m confident in myself and wear clothing that reflects what I’m feeling on any given day, I think I might have been too self-conscious to have chosen something like this.

The entire night, our entire wedding, was absolute perfection. Honey Bee needs an award or a raise. Every turn I took, I saw something that wouldn’t have occurred to me to choose, but I couldn’t think of a reason not to have it at our wedding. It was amazing.

My dress fit right in.

I’m almost sad to take it off. I kind of want that moment when my husband takes off my dress. Glancing at the door, I consider this. I could always put it back on.

If I’d thought about it, I might have ordered something special to wear tonight. Lingerie. Do I have any?

While I carefully pull myself from the dress, my mind wanders to my drawers. If I do have any, I’d have worn it with someone else. It wouldn’t feel right for our wedding night.

Okay, naked me it is. Oh! My silky robe is on the back of the bathroom door. That’ll work.

I make quick work of cleaning and prepping myself as much as I can while trying not to get my hair wet. It’s one of the few times I wish I had a shower cap. While I don’t let my hair down, I do take out all the pins and stuff in it. It really needs to be washed to get out all the product holding it up. Especially considering I’ve taken out all the supports, and it hasn’t moved. Oof.

Then I debate on my makeup. It’s not like Briar hasn’t seen me without it before. I take it off every night and he still looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful person alive .

Since it got a little runny with the steam from the shower, I opt to take it off. Feeling confident tonight will be perfect now, I wrap my robe around myself and step back into the bedroom.

Briar is sitting on the end of the bed in his underwear. My stunning, handsome husband.

Husband . I’ll never get tired of the word.

He looks up, meeting my eyes. His smile is soft. He gets to his feet as I approach. When I’m within reach, his hands grip my hips and he pulls me against him, his mouth immediately finding mine. He tastes like mouthwash.

“I feel like maybe we missed a few conversations that might be relevant to tonight,” he murmurs into my mouth, still kissing me between words.

“I’ll bottom,” I say. “I’ve already prepped for that.”

We’d been rocking slightly, but Briar pauses at my words. He chuckles, low and deep. “Well, fuck. Good. Thank you.”

I grin, trying to contain my giggle. “Not what you were getting at.”

“No, but only because it hasn’t come up before. Obviously, I have to retrain my thoughts a little.”

“We can talk about it further later, but I go both ways. I don’t really have a preference.”

“Noted. I… have only been one way. Which I think is probably obvious.”

“It is. But what did you want to talk about?”

He blinks at me and then says, “Condoms and whether we’re wearing them. ”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess it hasn’t had a reason to come up yet. I have some. I’m also clean according to my last tests, which were admittedly a year or so ago. I’ve only worn condoms since then, though.”

Briar nods. “I’ve always worn condoms, but testing isn’t something that’s as common in my life as maybe it should’ve been.”

“It should be regular in everyone’s life who doesn’t have a single partner when both are committed to monogamy. Society has made it feel shameful, though, so most people don’t.”

He huffs. “Lots of things to talk about later. But for tonight, which are you comfortable with? Since I’m not the one with tests at any time in my life, I think you need to decide.”

The part of me that wants to enjoy tonight with my husband skin on skin with not even the thin barrier of a condom between us wants to say bareback. But the more responsible voice says that maybe we ought to play it safe.

I hate being an adult.

“Just so we’re clear, I trust you completely. But let’s use condoms until we can both get tested.”

Briar smiles. “You said you have some? Are we talking one or two?”

I snort. “No. I think I have a box and a half, though admittedly I haven’t had a partner in a while.” My words trail off as I wonder if I’m thinking about the condoms in my condo in New York. My gaze drifts over his shoulder to stare at the possibly offending drawer in my night table. “We’re going to have to see. If there aren’t any, I don’t really want to put our honeymoon on hold. I’ll call someone at the big house to go shopping. ”

He laughs. “That’s unnecessary. I’m sure Levis or Honey Bee have some we can have.”

Smacking a quick kiss on his lips, I pull out of his arms and look in the drawer. Thankfully, I was thinking of the right home. Yes, I have a box and a half. “Eighteen enough for you?” I ask, tossing one on the bed with a bottle of lube.

“For now,” he says, pulling me back against him. His arms circle around my waist, his mouth pressing soft, wet kisses along my neck.

I close my eyes, concentrating on the way his hands move up my stomach and chest, down to my hips. He bypasses my dick entirely, though I’m not completely shocked by this. Briar’s fingers undo the tie in the front of my robe and it falls open.

His hands on my bare skin make my muscles dance. My breaths quicken, as does my heart. He turns me to face him and slowly pushes my robe off my shoulders. It falls down my arms and pools at our feet, leaving me naked before him.

The only indication that he’s nervous is the way I see him swallow as his fingers trail slowly, featherlight, along my skin. My cock is happy and hard with a pearl of pre-cum glistening at the tip where it leans against my stomach. I’m relieved to see he’s hard too, his cock outlined in detail within his boxer briefs.

With my fingers in the elastic waist, I gently tug them over his cock, over his toned ass, and let them fall to the floor. I wait for just a minute before I wrap my hand around him.

Briar releases the sexiest sound when I do. It’s a groan mixed with a sigh. Like he’s been waiting for this moment. Licking my lips, I look back up into his eyes, now hooded by his drooped eyelids.

His hands move slowly along my upper arms as if he’s not sure he wants to interrupt me or let me do what I want .

Deciding that, at least for now, I’m going to take charge, I grip his hip with my free hand and turn his back to the bed, pushing him backward. We shuffle so we’re further on the bed as I hover over him, slowly stroking his hard cock.

He’s a good size. A perfect size. Big, smooth head, with a very pronounced crown. A shaft that gets thicker at the base over big balls. He’s going to feel good.

His hand tangles in the back of my hair, and he pulls my mouth to his. He kisses me while I get acquainted with his dick. Listening to his preferences from the way he breathes, the way his body moves, his grip on me. He kisses me deeply, with long licking kisses. Kisses I think I can feel all along my body as phantom touches.

I break my mouth from his and move down his body, trailing sloppy, wet kisses along his skin as I go. His hand remains tangled in my hair—not pushing, not guiding. Just connected.

He groans as my face nears his throbbing dick. I understand what he’s feeling. My cock throbs too. I lick his crown, the salty pre-cum making me salivate. When I take him in my mouth, Briar’s hips rock forward. His inhale is sharp, then he moans deep in his throat.

I spend a long time sucking him. Getting to know his length. Listening to how turned on he is. Anticipating feeling him inside me. Coating his cock with spit.

Reaching for the condom, I ready it in my hand as I suck him gently. I come off with a pop and raise my eyes to his. He smiles, his face flushed. His arousal is a palpable thing. It makes my body hot as it sweeps over me.

My fingers fumble as I get his cock wrapped. Then I’m reaching blindly for the lube, my eyes still locked with his. I make sloppy work of coating his dick before climbing over him .

“Want me on top?” I ask.

His hands are already on my hips. “Whatever you want, Noaz.”

With lube on my fingers, I reach behind me to prep myself. I’m not sure what I want. Do I want to be on top tonight? Or am I ready for him to take the reins?

Finished with the lube, I toss it aside and cover his hands with mine. We stare at each other, trapped in that space where only the two of us exist.

“You on top,” I say.

Briar nods. He pulls my chest against his and then rolls us. Tonight isn’t about the positions that feel the best. It’s not about absolute, toe-curling pleasure. It’s not even about getting off—though I have zero doubt that’s going to be a problem.

Tonight is about being together. Bringing the intimacy we already share into the bedroom.

Briar kisses me softly as we adjust our position so he’s holding some of his weight on his knees and one hand. His crown moves through my crack, catching on my hole with every other pass. He’s not in a hurry as he kisses me and gets to know my body.

When he finally moves his cockhead to my hole and presses against me, his kisses pause, though his mouth remains hovering over mine. I think he’s holding his breath. Is he nervous?

His dick breaches my muscles and enters me. Briar shivers, and a quiet grunt makes his breath puff out. He pushes in a little further and pauses.

He doesn’t move again for another minute, even as my body relaxes around him. “You okay?” I ask, pressing a hand to his cheek .

Briar takes a shaky breath. “Overwhelmed that we’re finally here,” he admits and presses his lips to mine. “Sorry.”

I shake my head. “If you?—”

“Oh no,” he interrupts, taking my bottom lip between his. I shudder in appreciation as his teeth gently bite into my skin. “I want to. This isn’t hesitation or doubt. Just… trying to get myself under control so I don’t lose it right away. It might have been sweet and romantic or whatever to save all the orgasms for tonight, but I think that might backfire.”

Laughter bubbles out of me. I wrap an arm around the back of his neck, pulling him down to me. “That’s okay. It doesn’t have to be only once.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. It’s definitely not going to be only once.”

I grin, hugging him tightly.

Briar pushes in a little deeper, his hand moving from between us and squeezing between my back and the bed. Now that he’s got me in his arms, he slides his dick home in a smooth thrust. This might not be the absolute best position, but it’s a position where we’re holding each other. Wrapped around each other. Feeling our hearts beating against each other’s.

My eyes close. Our groans blend. Briar grips me tightly and I wrap my legs around his waist.

“Perfect,” he murmurs. “Sweet, beautiful, sexy… partner.”

I laugh breathlessly. “You can call me husband or wife. I like both. You can also keep using partner, if you want.”

“Do you have a preference?” he asks, slowly pulling his cock from me .

I shake my head. “All pronouns are mood-based as far as preference goes.” My words stop as he pushes back inside me, forcing me to take a breath. “But I know whatever you call me will come from a place of affection and nothing else. And I know you take into consideration how I feel with every word you use.”

Briar kisses my neck. “I want you to feel good,” he says.

“I can feel nothing but good right now.”

He huffs, making me grin. “I hope so, but that’s really not what I meant.”

Having a conversation while he’s moving inside me isn’t easy. Our words get cut off abruptly, or we moan in the middle of a sentence. But there’s also something deeply satisfying about talking right now. Something special. Especially since it’s about something important.

The strength with which we hold each other makes our movements stunted. There isn’t a lot of freedom to move. I might argue any other time, but the confined space between us only heightens every thrust. Every friction-filled brush of our bodies.

“I feel good,” I promise. “You could call me a goose, but because I know it’ll come from your heart, I know it’ll make me feel good.”

Briar chuckles breathlessly. The deep sound vibrates through my body.

His lips brush along the shell of my ear. “I love this,” he whispers. “My wife, my husband. I love every second of this. I’m going to love you beyond the moment that the sun stops burning. Every. Single. Day. Until the end of time. Even then, I’m going to keep loving you, Noaz.”

Tears sting my eyes as I grip him tightly. I wish I could hold him closer. That he’d become melted into my body. A single soul. A single being.

“I’m not as eloquent, but I am so… overcome with happiness that we have forever.”

“Forever,” Briar agrees.

We stop talking then and just feel.