Not Just for Christmas

Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

T he train was due to leave in a few minutes, and Erin was impatient. The sooner she was away from Chipping Campden, the better. She just wanted to be back in the comfort of her flat.

A shadow fell across her and she cursed her luck that someone would take the seat next to her when she desperately wanted to be alone.

“Is this seat free?”

Her eyes snapped up, and she felt the usual rush of endorphins at the sight of Lewis. But then the lies came rushing back, and she cast her gaze at the back of the chair in front of her. “It’s taken,” she said, removing her bag from her lap to plonk it on the free seat.

“Just let me explain,” he said, picking up the bag to sit down. “Please.”

She couldn’t look at him. If she looked at him, she’d start crying at the unfairness of it all. Because she’d thought he was exactly the sort of person she’d like to be with. Stupidly, she’d let herself think that being in a relationship might improve her life. And all it took was one week for him to let her down and remind her of why she was better off alone.

“Look,” she said, amazed by how calm she sounded when inside she was an absolute wreck. “We had a nice time. Nobody promised anyone anything, so I think we can just put all of this behind us and get on with our lives.”

“That’s really what you want?” His eyes bored into her – she could feel them – but she refused to look at him. “You’d leave without letting me explain?”

“The train is leaving soon,” she told him at the sound of a muffled announcement on the platform.

He glanced along the aisle but otherwise made no move to go anywhere. “Can I tell you a story?” he asked, an edge of sorrow in his voice.

Erin didn’t reply. She wanted him to leave, and she wanted him to stay, and it was all too confusing.

“Can I tell you a story about a lottery ticket and a pair of socks?”

A lump swelled in her throat and she wished he’d told her the story three days ago. If he’d told her then, she could have been surprised and amused, instead of having to deal with the anger and disappointment she felt now.

“The train is leaving,” she said as it moved away from the platform.

“I’ll get off at the next station and get the next train back. I really want to tell you the story. And then I’ll leave if that’s what you want, and you’ll never have to see me again.”

Her lower lip trembled at the thought of never seeing him again, and she trapped it between her teeth to stop it. “Tell me the story then,” she whispered. Since he wasn’t going anywhere, she may as well hear him out.

“I’d never played the lottery before,” he said, his voice tinged with sadness that didn’t fit the story she knew was coming. “I was in a shop in Chipping Campden and they had this deal on chocolate bars. You could buy a surprise bag really cheap because the chocolate was almost at the expiry date. They were in a paper bag, so you didn’t know what you’d get. I’d only gone in for a magazine, but I saw the sweets and wanted to buy one for Carla. She’s a chocoholic and loves a surprise, so I thought it would be perfect for her.”

He paused and took a breath. “They called them a lucky dip, and when I asked the shop assistant for one, she thought I was referring to a Lucky Dip lottery ticket. You know the one where they give you random numbers? She’d printed it before I realised she’d misunderstood. I told her it wasn’t a big deal, and I’d pay for the ticket.”

When he paused again, Erin risked a glance at him to find him staring straight ahead, lost in thought.

“I shoved it into my wallet and didn’t think about it until a couple of weeks later when my mum told me she’d seen on the news that there was twenty-six million in unclaimed lottery winnings and it was someone in our area.”

He huffed out a gentle laugh. “She said someone could be walking around with a twenty-six-million-pound ticket in their pocket and have no idea. Or maybe they’d accidentally put it through the wash. Those were her theories. We had a laugh when I told her I had a ticket in my wallet and maybe I was a millionaire. We joked about how we’d spend it and what kind of life we’d have… and then the following day I took it into the shop and found out that I really had won.” There was a faraway look in his eyes when he paused again. “But the reality of winning the lottery was nothing like the imaginary scenarios Mum and I had cooked up. As it turns out, we don’t spend our time sipping cocktails on yachts in tropical places.”

“You could afford a few yachts though, couldn’t you?”

He turned, seemingly surprised by her voice. “I could, but when it came down to it, that wasn’t something I wanted.”

“What did you want? ”

“Nothing,” he said. “That was the problem. I liked my life as it was. It wasn’t anything special, but it was comfortable. Sometimes money only complicates things.”

He fell silent, and Erin stared out of the window, trying to get her thoughts in order. “There were no socks in that story,” she said dryly.

“Sorry, I forgot that bit. I was wearing socks when I bought the ticket. I think the woman who sold it to me was also wearing socks.”

“Not critical to the story, then?”

“No, but you said every good story includes socks, so it seemed like a good way to get your attention.”

Erin’s cheek twitched, and she wanted so badly to be amused. To carry on as they had been and pretend nothing had changed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

“Because people treat me differently when they know. I was enjoying spending time with you and getting to know you without money being an issue.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t mention it if it was just a fling between us, but you told me it was more. I extended my trip, so we’d have more time to get to know each other. But how could I get to know you when you were hiding things from me? It’s not as though it’s a small thing. It’s huge.”

“But you did get to know me. Plain, everyday me. The money doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“It wouldn’t mean anything to me either. What matters are things like trust and honesty. Did you think I’d see you differently because of the money?”

“No,” he said without conviction.

“You must have thought it would cause some kind of issue or you’d have told me.”

He rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “I should have told you. I’m sorry I didn’t. ”

“I don’t understand why you didn’t.”

“Because,” he started, then caught himself and took a breath. “Because Ivy was convinced you already knew about the money.”

“You knew I didn’t know about it.”

“I thought you didn’t know, but…”

“But what?”

“After I won the money, a lot of people suddenly wanted to be my friend. None of them were genuine, they were only interested in me because of the money. That girlfriend I told you about? I met her at the supermarket. Bumped into her by the tinned goods and it took me three months to figure out that she’d orchestrated that meeting and would never have had any interest in me if it weren’t for the money.”

“You thought I was after your money?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Whenever I was with you, I was sure you were genuine. I thought you were interested in me and that you liked spending time with me. Just for me.” He smiled gently. “But every time I thought about telling you the truth, I had this fear that I’d tell you and you wouldn’t look completely surprised. I like you so much and I hated the thought that what we had might not be real. So I didn’t tell you because that way I could keep things as they were. I really liked how things were between us.”

It didn’t feel as though much time had passed, but the train was slowing for the next station and Erin felt her stomach twist at the thought of saying goodbye.

“Thank you for explaining,” she said curtly.

His hand reached for hers and she savoured the warmth of his fingers, which sent a jolt all the way to her heart. “Am I forgiven?”

With an amazing amount of willpower, she pulled her hand from his and clasped her hands together in her lap. “It’s not just a matter of forgiving you,” she said, aware that the station was getting closer. “I spent a week getting to know you, but now I’m not sure I know you at all.”

“You know me. I didn’t lie about who I am.”

She shook her head. “I need time to process everything. Maybe we can speak again in a few days.”

“That sounds like you’re giving me the brush off.”

“You lied to me.” Her lower lip quivered again as she looked at him. “Not just about the money. You let me think you were a hotel employee when you own the place.”

“I’m sorry.” This time when he took her hand, she didn’t draw away. She refused to look at him though, as a couple of stray tears spilled down her cheeks.

“You need to get off the train,” she said eventually. “It’s going to leave again in a minute.”

“I don’t want to leave. Not when you’re upset and everything feels unresolved. I don’t want to leave things like this.”

“The train is going to leave,” she told him firmly. “You need to get off.”

“Do you own the train?” he asked.

“Of course I don’t own the train,” she said, aware that she should probably release his hand but unable to bring herself to do it.

“It’s not up to you if I get off or stay on, then.”

“So you plan on following me to London?”

“Yes,” he said as the controller arrived in their carriage. “I think I will.”

Erin watched in exasperation as he paid an extortionate amount for a ticket to London.

“Seriously?” she huffed. “Are you planning on stalking me all the way to my flat?”

“No,” he said calmly.

“What exactly is your plan?”

“You said you don’t know me. So you have from here until London to ask me anything you want. I’ll answer honestly. ”

“Then what?”

“Once we get to London, it’s up to you. I can get on the next train back to Chipping Campden and you can never see me again, if that’s what you want…”

Once again, it seemed she had no choice but to go along with his plan.