Not Just for Christmas

Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight

L ewis remained quiet on the taxi ride and Erin wondered how often he really opened up to people, and if him sharing everything had left him emotionally exhausted. He seemed a little spaced out when she paid for the taxi and lugged her case out onto the road. Stepping out after her, he took the case and carried it the rest of the way up to her flat.

“It’s nothing fancy,” she said as she opened her front door. “But it suits me.”

She felt a jolt of warmth at the familiarity of it. Her plants looked wonderfully healthy and the blanket her friend had crocheted for her was in its usual place draped over the back of the couch – giving a dose of colour to the room, which wasn’t lacking in colour, anyway. The sunny yellow curtains matched the selection of orange and yellow cushions on her green velvet couch. She’d carefully chosen everything, and loved the vibe she’d created.

“My neighbour is one of my best friends,” she told Lewis, closing the door behind them.

“That’s convenient,” he said, stopping in the centre of the room to look around. “It’s cute. ”

“Thanks.” It felt odd having him in her space. If he was there, then it wasn’t just a holiday romance. The thought sent a ripple of unease billowing up her spine. “Do you want a drink? I can put the kettle on.”

“Please. Whatever you’re having.” He sank onto the couch and she went to the kitchen.

When she returned a few minutes later with two cups of tea, he had his head resting on the back of the couch and his eyes closed. Given the steady rise and fall of his chest, she would’ve sworn he was asleep until he slowly opened his eyes, making it look like a great effort.

“Are you okay?” she asked, setting the steaming mugs on the star-shaped coasters on the coffee table.

“Fine,” he said with a smile. “What did you want to tell me?”

She sank beside him on the couch, not sure where to start or what she even wanted to say.

“It’s not a story as such,” she said. “I just realised that you keeping secrets from me wasn’t the only thing that freaked me out. You being secretive also reminded me how complicated relationships are, and how much I could get hurt.” She sighed. “My last proper relationship ended badly. With hindsight, it was bad right from the beginning, but I didn’t see it. I was with him for four years and when we split up, I had to rebuild my whole life. I swore I’d never be in that position again and wouldn’t let myself get hurt like that again.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you by not telling you everything.”

“I know you weren’t.”

He ran a hand down his face and looked worn out. “What are you trying to say? Because I get the feeling you just don’t want to be in a relationship with me and are trying to politely give me the brush off. Was it just a fling for you?” There was an edge of bitterness to his words which cut right through Erin.

“How would we even have a relationship when we live two hours apart and you run a business which you never take time off from?”

“I can take time off,” he said flatly. “I just never had a good reason to before I met you.”

The sweetness of his words went straight to her heart, and she wanted to believe that things could work out between them.

“I need some time to think,” she said.

He nodded, but there was a coolness to his tone when he spoke. “You mean you want to get back to your real life and see if you forget about me?”

“No.” It actually wasn’t a terrible notion, except she knew she wouldn’t be able to forget him. She wasn’t going to stop thinking about him. That much she knew with certainty.

“I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you,” she ventured. “But I’m trying to be honest and realistic. I don’t know how it’s going to work out given our situations and…” She paused and took a breath. “I’m scared.”

When she’d split up with her ex, she’d been such a mess for so long and she couldn’t face the thought of going through that again.

“Okay.” His tone was softer now. “I really want to be with you, so I would like us to figure out a way to make this work.”

His eyes drifted around the room, and he rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Are you okay?” she asked, because while he was saying the right things, she had the sense that his mind was somewhere else entirely.

He closed his eyes for a moment. “I should probably go home and give you time to think about everything.” He stood abruptly and headed for the door.

“I’m confused,” Erin said, a jolt of irritation hitting her. “You just told me you want us to work things out, but you also seem as though you can’t get away from me fast enough.”

He sighed and his body slumped slightly as he rested his hand on the back of the couch. “It’s not that… I’m sorry. I want us to work things out, but I also don’t feel brilliant and if I’m coming down with something, I’d rather be ill at home on my own than at your place.”

Erin was off her feet in an instant. Walking around the couch, she registered the sheen of sweat across his forehead. Instinctively, she placed the back of her hand on his cheek.

“You’re red hot,” she said.

His lips attempted to pull into a smile. “Thank you,” he said, but the joke fell flat.

Erin rolled her eyes. “You’ve got a fever.”

“I’ll get home and sleep. I’ll be fine.”

“You can’t get on the train if you’re ill.”

“I’m fairly sure it’s not contagious.”

“I’m not worried about other people. I’m concerned about you. How long have you been feeling ill for?”

He looked thoughtful. “Since we were on the train. Or before that. Maybe when I argued with Ivy.”

“Why did you argue with Ivy?” She shook her head. “Never mind. It doesn’t even matter. I’m not letting you leave in this state. You can get into my bed.”

“I have to get back for Molly,” he said as she led him towards her bedroom.

“Where is she now?”

“With Ivy.”

“I’m sure Ivy won’t mind taking care of her for longer. Just sleep for an hour or two. You can always get the train back this evening.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his jumper off. “Do you have any painkillers?”

“Yes. What hurts?”

“My head is pounding. Some ibuprofen and a couple of hours’ sleep, and I’ll be fine.”

She eyed him wearily, getting the impression this might be a regular occurrence.

Deciding not to quiz him on it, she went to the bathroom in search of painkillers and came back a few minutes later with a glass of water as well.

“Thanks,” Lewis murmured as he knocked the tablets back. “I’m sorry.” He lay back on the bed, eyes closing immediately.

Erin could have sworn he was asleep before she even left the room.

She checked on him a couple of times over the next few hours, but he was dead to the world and never even switched position. The third time she walked in, she rested a hand against his forehead, happy to find he was no longer burning up. He didn’t stir, and she was about to walk out again when his phone vibrated on the opposite side of the bed.

Ivy was calling him and Erin hesitated over whether she should answer his phone before deciding that Ivy was probably worried about him. Plucking the phone from the bed, she crept back out of the room before swiping her finger across the screen.

“It’s Erin,” she said on answering.

“He caught up to you then?” Ivy said, a confused undertone to her voice, probably trying to figure out why Erin had answered his phone.

“Yes. He ended up getting the train to London with me.”

“Is he there?” Ivy asked. “I’ve tried calling a few times.”

“He’s in bed.”

Ivy let out a hum of understanding. “You two sorted things out, then?”

“Kind of. We chatted everything through anyway.” She grimaced as she realised the picture she’d painted for Ivy. “He’s actually ill. That’s why he’s in bed. I’m a little worried about him and I don’t know whether to wake him or let him sleep.”

“Did he have a migraine, by any chance? ”

“I’m not sure. He had a fever, and he said his head hurt. I got the impression that this wasn’t completely unusual.”

“No.” Ivy’s tone was full of sympathy. “I have a theory that it’s his body’s way of forcing him to stop and rest, but if you suggest that to him, he’s likely to bite your head off.”

“Thanks for the warning.” She perched on the arm of the couch. “What should I do?”

“Let him sleep, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind. I was just worried about him.”

“He’ll be fine once he’s caught up on sleep. When he wakes up, let him know Molly is fine with me.”

“I will.”

“Thanks for taking care of him,” Ivy said quietly.

“No problem,” she replied before ending the call.

Quietly, she slipped back into the bedroom and left the phone beside the bed, then she closed the door and left him to sleep for as long as he needed.