Not Just for Christmas

Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

A fter falling asleep with such a shocking headache, it was a relief to wake up to a clear head. It always was.

Lying in Erin’s bed, Lewis tried to piece together the events of the previous day. He was a little fuzzy with the details.

He’d been on the train with Erin, he recalled. They’d gone back to her place to talk, and he distinctly remembered feeling lousy on the taxi journey. Erin had paid the driver, and he hadn’t even mustered the energy to offer to pay. And then they’d sat in her living room and she’d explained why she didn’t think it would work out between them and he’d struggled to concentrate on her words, never mind argue with them. He fully intended to, though. He wanted to be with her, and he needed to make that clear.

Sitting up, he plucked his phone from the bedside. He’d already assumed that he’d slept all afternoon and all night as well, but it was almost midday now. He groaned in frustration as he ran a hand through his hair while reading the slew of messages from Ivy the previous day. She’d obviously been worried about not being able to contact him, but the messages and calls had stopped early in the evening .

Quickly, he shot off a message saying he was fine and telling her he’d call her shortly. Then he pulled on his clothes, which he had no recollection of taking off, and made a quick stop at the bathroom before following the sound of the radio to the kitchen.

On the way, he noticed the pillow and blankets on the couch and muttered a curse.

“Morning,” he said, the dryness of his throat making his voice croaky.

“Hi.” Erin spun around. “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty embarrassed, but other than that, I’m fine.” He scrubbed at the stubble on his jaw. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what happened.”

“Exhaustion, at a guess.” She leaned against the sideboard, her gaze sympathetic. “Do you ever think about not working so much so you can get enough sleep on a regular basis?”

“Have you been speaking to Ivy?” he joked.

“I have actually.”

His eyebrows shot up. That explained why her messages and calls had stopped.

“I answered your phone yesterday,” Erin said with an apologetic frown.

“It’s fine,” he told her.

“Ivy said this happens from time to time.”

“Not often,” he said, despite knowing it happened far more frequently than was normal for a healthy guy in his twenties. And he knew it was down to stress and lack of sleep, but he just didn’t seem to be able to slow down.

“Are you hungry?” she asked. “I’m making myself a sandwich if you want one.”

“I’m starving. Can I grab a glass of water too?”

“Sit down,” she said firmly when he hovered behind her.

“I can help,” he insisted.

“You can do as you’re told and sit down.” Her tone was menacing enough that he felt a little nervous as he pulled out a seat at the small, round table. Then she smiled sweetly, and he relaxed again.

“You’re kind of terrifying sometimes,” he told her.

“Only when people don’t follow directions.” She set a glass of water in front of him and placed her hand against his forehead.

“I feel fine now,” he said, while his pulse skittered at the feel of her skin against his.

“Good.” She moved back to the sideboard. “I was worried about you.”

He gulped the entire glass of water, unable to stop once he’d started. “Sorry you had to sleep on the couch.”

“It’s fine. I just wasn’t sure… well, I didn’t know how things stood between us and you were ill…”

“You didn’t want to cuddle up to the sick guy?” he teased.

She fell silent, and he watched intently as she pottered around the compact kitchen. An array of house plants on various shelves gave it a lovely, homely feel.

“I owe you money for the taxi,” he said when she came to the table with two plates of sandwiches.

She wrinkled her nose. “What?”

“You paid for the taxi from the train station.”

“Yes.” Her eyebrows gathered together. “I was getting a taxi home. Of course I paid for it.” She looked at him as though he was being weird. Which he probably was. When it came to money, he felt as though he never knew what the etiquette was these days. “Did you think I’d expect you to pay because you’re rich?”

He shrugged and picked up his sandwich, but didn’t take a bite.

“Lewis?” she said, apparently wanting him to answer.

“Sometimes it can be awkward with people.” At least it used to be until he gave up on socialising. “When I won the money, I had this group of friends who I’d gone to school with. We’d always go out on Friday nights, but after I won, it got awkward. They always expected I would pay. And it was sort of fine. It wasn’t as though I couldn’t afford it but…”

“But why should you always have to pay?” she asked, irritation flickering in her eyes. “That’s stupid.”

“I stopped hanging out with them after a while. That solved the problem.” He took a large bite of the ham and cheese sandwich and chewed slowly. “This tastes amazing.”

“Your taste buds are just easy to please because you haven’t eaten in so long.”

“Possibly,” he said with a teasing smile.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Erin spoke again. “Do you remember our conversation yesterday, or were you too spaced out?”

“I remember you giving me excuses about why it wouldn’t work out between us.”

“They weren’t excuses. I was telling you how I felt.”

“But I think we can make it work. If you want to.”

She hesitated for long enough that he lost his appetite and pushed his plate away with half the sandwich still on it.

“Don’t you want to try?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said with absolutely no certainty.

“Will you come back with me today?”

Her head shot up, and she stared at him in confusion.

“I need to get back. I was only intending to leave Molly with Ivy for a couple of hours. Also, there’s the New Year’s party at the hotel tomorrow. But you could come with me. We can celebrate the new year together.”

She shook her head so firmly that he knew she wouldn’t budge on the subject. “I need space to think everything through.”

A knot of disappointment wedged itself under his sternum. “When will I see you again? ”

“I don’t know. I need to get back to work next week and get back into my routines. But we can talk on the phone and maybe you can take some time off in January and come and visit me.”

It felt like a brush off and he wasn’t at all convinced that she’d even keep in touch.

“Will you?” she asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Will I what? ”

“Take time off to come and visit me?”

“Yes.” He reached across the table and took her hand, hating that she even had to ask. “Of course.”