Only With You (Knights #2)

Epilogue

LANDON

Six Years Later

“We have to be really quiet, okay?” I whisper, raising my pointer finger to my lips.

My four-year-old, Genevieve, raises her hand to her mouth, attempting to stifle her giggle. It still sneaks past her parted fingers and echoes throughout the quiet kitchen.

“Sorry, Daddy, it’s so hard.” Vi giggles again, dimples on either side of her cheeks deeply indenting them, her small shoulders shaking as she tries again to contain it.

Rays of golden yellow dance in my mind’s eye, radiantly shining as they flicker and swirl at the sound of her voice.

“Come here.” I smile, smothering my laugh as I lift her up and sit her on the counter. “We’ll just do our best, okay? Mummy needs to get all the sleep she can get.”

“Is Santa going to bring him today?” She attempts to say in a hushed voice, but it gets louder with each word, and the twinkle in her radiant blue eyes brightens. “I put him on my list.”

Julianna’s pregnant with our second baby, and last month, we found out the gender. Ever since we told Vi, she’s been excitedly and impatiently waiting for him to come home. She even told Julianna to add her baby brother to her Christmas list, because she knows Santa can work miracles.

She’s so precious, I can’t help but kiss her forehead. I’d shower her with kisses, but she’s not a fan of my beard.

I hate lying to her, but I also can’t tell her Santa isn’t real. It doesn’t make sense to lie when she’ll grow up and find out he’s not real. I can’t rationalise or justify it despite what Julianna and everyone says about the magic of imagination and whatnot.

I’ve been told I’m putting too much thought into it. Excuse me for not wanting to disappoint our daughter. Much to my chagrin, Julianna says we’ll cross that bridge when the time comes, but for now, we have to let her believe it.

“I’m sorry, angel, but it’s still too early for Santa to bring him.” I brush a wisp of her black hair away from her face.

Her bottom lip juts out, eyes glazing with sadness. “But, Daddy, I put him on my list.”

“I know, but he’ll be here in four months.” I grab her hair, tickling her nose with the ends.

She giggles, nose scrunching, and the twinkle in her eyes returns. “Promise?”

“I promise, angel.” I kiss her forehead again. “Now, let’s make breakfast before Mummy wakes up and then we’ll open presents.”

Vi giddily swings her feet, her small body buzzing with energy. “I can’t wait to show Mommy her present.”

I tongue my cheek, checking out her stunning penmanship. Vi thought it’d be a good idea to draw all over her arms and neck with a Sharpie as a gift to Julianna.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s going to love it.” I softly pinch her cheek. “Now what should we make, pancakes or waffles?”

“Pancakes and we need bacon with lots of syrup,” she animatedly replies.

“Good choice. I was thinking the same.” I set her down to her feet and she wastes no time grabbing the bowl and whatever she can reach.

Side by side, we—well, I cook and she helps me where she can, but halfway through, she gets antsy and runs to the Christmas tree. She sits in front of it, humming “Jingle Bell Rock” or what I assume is supposed to be that song.

“Morning.” My wife’s sleepy voice drags my attention away from Vi to her.

She’s breathtaking. A halo-like glow surrounds her, looking effervescent as ever. Some say it’s the pregnancy, but the thing about Julianna is that she’s always had this radiance about her.

Six years and I’ll never be able to get over the fact that we share a life together. That she’s mine, agreed to marry me, and have our babies. Fuck, I’ll never be able to get over it because I never thought I deserved a life like this until her.

“Morning, Love, did you sleep well?” I remove the last of the pancakes from the griddle and set them on the plate as she ambles over to me.

“Can you stop looking hot for just a moment?” she groans, putting some distance between us when I try to grab her.

I crack a smile, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose. “I’m not doing anything and don’t pull away from me.”

Begrudgingly, she idles over and lets me embrace her, but she shoots me a glare. “You are. You’re standing here, wearing your glasses, making breakfast, looking so hot. Ugh, I’ll probably get knocked up again just by looking at you. Get away from me.”

She weakly pushes me away, but I keep a firm hold on her. I do my best not to smirk and remind her that she begged for me to come inside her.

I rub her belly and pause when I think I feel him kick, but he doesn’t. “You know that wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

Her head jolts back, staring blankly at me. “Not a bad thing? Landon, I’m only five months pregnant and they’re already saying he’s going to be bigger than Vi. Should I remind you that Vi was nine pounds when she was born. Nine!”

Her bump protrudes more than it did the first pregnancy. I fucking love it, but Julianna not so much after the midwife told us that he’ll probably be at the ninety-nine percentile in height.

“Nine pounds and six ounces.” I smile at her, but that only deepens her glare. “Don’t look at me like that. I mean, look at us compared to most. We’re bound to have big babies.”

“I know that,” she grumbles, dropping her head on my chest. “It just makes me a little nervous.”

I cup her jaw, tilting her head back so that she’ll look at me. “You’re going to do great. Just like you did with Vi and I’m going to be there every step of the way.”

She sweetly smiles at me, her eyes glossing over. “Our babies are so lucky to have you as their dad.”

Anxiety washes over me. “You think so?”

Being a father is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. I thought nothing or anyone would ever amount to Julianna, but I was wrong. The moment she became pregnant, those babies became my entire existence.

My love for them is so unfathomable, sometimes it makes me feel so undeserving. But Julianna reminds me that I am deserving. Not through words but through the things she does, like she knows that I need it.

Especially now that we’re going to have a boy. I love him just as much as I do Vi, but I won’t lie and say it doesn’t make me more anxious. Logically, it shouldn’t be any different than raising Vi, but I’m afraid of fucking it all up with him. It’d be hard to do that, though, because there is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for my family.

“Lan.” She circles her arms around my neck, and I drop mine to her waist. “I’m so lucky to have you and our kids are too.” The assurance in her voice eases the discomfort in my chest.

“I love you.” I kiss her, letting my lips stay on hers.

“I love you,” she softly repeats. “You’re going to do great. He’s going to love you so much just like Vi does.”

I smile as she pulls back as we hear our daughter’s footsteps.

“Mommy, Mommy! Look!” Vi runs over to us at the speed of lightning, brimming with exhilaration. “I put the J and angel wings like Daddy.” She points to her scribbled and illegible neck.

I bite the inside of my cheek, swallowing back a laugh at the way Julianna’s eyebrows shoot up, jaw drops in astonishment, and eyes stare at our daughter in disbelief.

“Merry Christmas, Mommy!” Vi stretches her arms out and spins three times, making sure her mum gets a good look at her. “I look just like Daddy.” She giggles, pointing at her arms, neck, and then lifts her shirt.

Oh shit, I didn’t see that.

“Do you like your present? Do you?” Vi peers up at her, eyes glittering.

Julianna sobers up, eyes darting to me, and her lips split wide into a grin. “Are you kidding me? This is the best thing ever! And the wings. They look just like his.” She’s talking about the angel wings and J I got tattooed. I got it done soon after basketball season ended.

She carefully drops to her knees. I go to stop her, but she doesn’t let me. She proudly inspects every inch of the marker on her delicate skin. “I think these are even better than your daddy’s.”

She gasps happily. “Really?”

“Yes, these are so good.” Julianna showers her with kisses, then ruffles her hair. “This is the best Christmas present, angel.”

Vi carefully hugs her mum and bends to kiss her belly. Our eyes lock as our daughter whispers something to her belly and we smile, feeling content at how far we’ve come.

“Okay, let’s help Mummy up.” As much as I’m enjoying this moment, I’d hate for Julianna to hurt herself. She says I worry too much and is always fussing at me for fussing at her to not do anything extraneous. “And let’s eat breakfast before it all gets cold.”

“I helped!” Vi announces proudly as we help Julianna to her feet.

“Lan.” Julianna sniffles, wiping away the remnants of the tears that linger and hugs me. “I’m going to ugly cry again.”

I kiss the crown of her head, rubbing gentle circles on her back as a fresh wave of tears rolls down her face. “All for you, my Love.”

I gifted her a vinyl with songs I’ve composed over the years for her and a few new ones, and had Lola design the cover with the colours of her voice.

“I don’t have words,” she croaks and looks up at me.

“You don’t have to have them. I just hope you love it.” I brush the tears away.

“I love it so much. We have to listen to it.” She’s moving fast, putting the vinyl on the record player, and when the first song comes on, the tears cascade faster.

“Is this a new song?” She slips back into my arms, resting her head on my chest.

“It is and it’s why I wouldn’t let you in the studio.”

I made her believe it was for a song I was working for a movie.

After I started posting my own songs on YouTube, they started gaining more traction than the covers I did. Eventually, one blew up and the others followed after. A few months after we graduated, I was contacted by an agent and everything else that transpired after that has been insane. My songs started in commercials and now they’re in movies.

It’s wild that this is my life, but I’ve never been more grateful.

I still stayed anonymous. Only my closest friends know what I do because they wouldn’t stop asking where I was getting all my money from. I could’ve made something up, but not only do I trust them, but they’re my family.

“Dance with me,” I say and slowly start swaying until she falls into step with me. When she steps on my foot, a choked giggle escapes her. “Six years and some things don’t change.”

She scoffs. “It was one step. You know I’ve gotten better, just like I have driving stick.”

My brows furrow at her bold statement. “Love?—”

“It was one scratch and I got Roxy fixed,” she reminds me although I don’t need it because I can still hear the scrape against metal.

She panicked while I was teaching her, but it’s fine. She got it fixed just like the scratch Cole left. Because her parents didn’t want any of her stuff back, she sold some of her purses and with the money, used it to pay for all the damages. I told her not to, but she’s stubborn and refused to take no for an answer.

Julianna doesn’t talk to her parents anymore. Their pride was bigger than their love for her because despite everything they knew Julianna went through, they still wanted her to go to them.

They never did take anything back and still continued to pay for her college. She told them she was going to become a music teacher when she found out they were still paying for it. That still didn’t stop them from paying for it. And she still received an allowance until she graduated with her Master’s in Music Education.

Now she’s an elementary school music teacher.

She still speaks to her sister, Natalie, and they’ve grown closer. She’ll actually be here later to visit with her husband and kids.

Speaking of Cole, he served time and now hides somewhere in Colorado. Sienna, I’m not sure what happened to her. She did try to reach out to Julianna a few times, but she blocked her.

John tried to contact me a few times, and I hadn’t blocked him because I was finally in a good head space that his messages didn’t bother me. Even when he found out Julianna was pregnant and said it wasn’t fair I wouldn’t let him see his granddaughter , I didn’t care.

The final straw though, was when he said I owed him an apology for holding a grudge. He said I was acting immature and it was unfair I wouldn’t let him or his wife see Vi. That’s when I decided to finally block him, and I don’t feel bad about it.

Lucy and I still talk, but after I made her promise we wouldn’t talk about her father, or tell him that I live in Wilmington. I’ve no doubt he would show up. Ashton and I don’t talk but there’s no hard feelings. I’m over it and from what Lucy said, he is too.

Despite the copious amount of therapy we’ve both had, there are still some things that linger from our pasts. We’re working on them still, but together, and it’s made a difference. Without her, I’m not sure where I’d be.

“Please don’t call it that.” I roll my eyes.

She nuzzles her head against my chest as we continue to dance. “It’s cute, adds character.”

“Excuse me!” Vi comes storming in the living room, phone in her hand and a determined look on her face. “I need to show him what Santa brought.”

“Who’s him?” I question but immediately recognize the voice coming from the speaker of my phone.

One of my best friend’s twin appears on the screen. He bears a toothy grin and talks about his gifts and God knows what else.

Julianna’s laughter strays my gaze to her. “You’re so cute jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” I deadpan and take the phone from Vi. “Where’s your dad?” I ask him.

“Right there.” He points the phone at his parents, who are pointing nerf guns at each other, but at the sound of my voice, they look at me.

“Hey.” He smiles, taking the phone from his son. “Merry Christmas. Did you guys get our Christmas cards and gifts?”

“Merry Christmas and we did, thank you. You guys look so adorable!” Julianna coos in awe. “Did you guys get ours?”

“We did and the boys lost it,” my friend’s wife replies.

“I need to show him my gifts!” Vi jumps, snatching the phone from my hand.

In the distance, I hear my best friend say he’ll text me, followed by the sound of the nerf gun going off and his yelp.

“I can’t believe our babies are the same age. I love that they’ll grow up and be best friends.” Julianna beams as I grab her again.

“Mmmm, yeah, I love that too,” I dryly say.

She laughs as I spin her and pin her body to mine. Her back is flushed against my chest, and my hands are splayed on her belly. She sighs in contentment as we overlook the ocean from the floor-to-ceiling window, and the Christmas lights twinkle to our left as the music continues to filter throughout the living room.

I’ll never stop thanking whatever conspired for us to get together, whatever string was tied to us, whatever planted itself in our lives. Because of it, I found my light at the end of the tunnel, and while it was a journey, it was all worth it.

For them, I’d do it all over again.

The End