Perfect Enough

Chapter Fifteen – Sophia

Chapter Fifteen

SOPHIA

After an amazing lunch, Josh and I walked down Main Street and popped in and out of a few places. The day had been fantastic, and I didn’t want it to end anytime soon. The spell of simply being with him was something I wasn’t ready to break.

“How about we head back to my place? I have to work tomorrow, but we can still spend the rest of the day together. I can even cook you dinner.”

Smiling, I looked up at him. “You cook as well? You really are a woman’s dream man, aren’t you?”

Josh laughed. “I don’t know about that. Do you have to teach tomorrow?”

I thought about the day, Sunday. “No, I don’t have classes until Monday.”

A wickedly handsome smile appeared on his face. “Stay the night with me then?”

My heart started to hammer in my chest and my cheeks started to warm with the idea of simply lying next to this man all night, feeling the heat of his body against mine.

“I would love that,” I said—then wrung my hands together nervously. “But, Josh, I don’t want you to think I’m expecting anything from you.”

He winked, took my hand, and guided us down the sidewalk toward his truck. “As you said earlier, there are other things we can do.”

My face heated even more. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

Laughing, he replied, “Indeed, you did.”

The drive back to Josh’s house was filled with conversation. It was so easy to talk to him, and I found that I wanted to share parts of my life that I didn’t usually like to talk about with anyone.

“Did you go to counseling after your father’s death?” Josh asked when there was a small break in the conversation.

I drew in a breath and slowly let it out. “I didn’t. I think I should have, though.”

“It’s never too late, you know. My uncle Brock founded a place in Hamilton with counselors who specialize in just about everything. His first wife, Blayze’s mother, had suffered from depression. There’s a community center there as well. There are lots of fun things for kids to do, and there’s even an arena, where my uncles have done a few charity bull rides.”

“It’s amazing that your uncle started something so amazing for the community.”

“Yeah, it means a lot to him. To the whole family. But like I said, there are some great grief counselors, if you ever want someone to talk to. Or at least, I’ve heard my uncle talking about how wonderful they are.”

I took his hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze. “Thank you, Josh. I have to admit, it’s refreshing to have someone willing to speak so openly about mental healthcare. I wish my father would have known someone like that.”

Turning, I stared out the passenger window as we drove in silence. Had my father sought out help for his mental health issues? I suddenly wanted to ask my mother, but I wasn’t sure she’d be open to discussing it. Sighing, I made a mental note to check into making an appointment. I could also talk about my mother’s sudden need to control my life…and my need to please her to the point that I’d made up a fake relationship.

“You’re thinking pretty hard over there, Soph.”

Letting out a soft laugh, I replied, “Yeah, I guess I am. I think you’re right about going to talk to someone. Not just about my father, but my need to lie to my mother about us just to get her off my back. That wasn’t healthy.”

He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. “But it brought us together, so it couldn’t have been all that bad.”

Smiling, I nodded as I felt another piece of my heart fall to this man.

I leaned against the counter, a glass of wine in my hand, as I watched Josh bend down to pull our dinner out of the oven. I’d never in my life met a man like Josh Shaw. Funny, caring, intelligent, self-reliant, and oh so sexy. He was like the perfect man all wrapped into one, and I had to take a moment to thank the stars above he’d found his way into my world.

He set the dish on a cooling rack and glanced at me. “I hope you like these.”

“Barbecue chicken enchiladas. They sound good and they smell even better.”

When he winked at me, my heart somersaulted in my chest.

“Where are the plates?” I asked, as I rinsed my wine glass and put it in the dishwasher.

“Behind you in the first cabinet on your left. Silverware is in the drawer below.”

I handed him two plates and brought silverware to the table. “What would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have a beer.”

Reaching into the fridge, I grabbed two and brought them over to the table as well. When I returned to the kitchen, Josh was putting enchiladas onto our plates.

“Do you want any extra sauce?” he asked. “I can heat some really quick.”

With a shake of my head, I replied, “I’m okay without it if you are.”

“Sounds good.”

We both took our plates and headed to the table. Once I sat down, I quickly took a big bite of the delicious-smelling food. My eyes practically rolled back into my head as I savored the mouthful.

“Josh! Oh my gosh, this is so good . Where in the world did you learn to cook like this?”

He smiled and finished chewing his food before answering. “I loved watching my mother cook when I was younger. I would sit on the island in our kitchen and watch everything she did while we talked. I always considered it kind of our time, since it was usually just the two of us. Even up through high school, I did it whenever I could. I could tell my mom anything. I still can, and I love that we have that kind of relationship.”

For a moment, I allowed myself to picture a young Josh sitting in his mother’s kitchen, talking about his day with her. I blinked a few times to keep the tears at bay. It wasn’t like I didn’t have a loving relationship with my parents; I did. But I’d been closer to my father than my mother. I loved my mom…but to have such an open relationship with her, like Josh had with his mother, was something I’d never had. I envied him.

“Is it like that with your father, as well?” I asked, before shoving more of the chicken enchiladas into my mouth.

He stopped eating momentarily, as if thinking about how to answer my question. “Maybe not as open. I was scared to tell my father I wanted to be a firefighter, for instance. I thought he’d tell me that I needed to get my head out of the clouds, but he didn’t. He was more worried than anything. I know he’s proud of both of his kids, and he just wants us to be happy. But if I had something more personal to discuss, I would most likely go to Mom.”

I nodded and smiled slightly. “I wish I could say that about my mother.”

“Have you talked to her about her need to be so involved in your life?”

I set my fork aside, reached for my beer, and took a drink. When I set it down, I answered him honestly. “No. Never. When I was younger, I always assumed she would just argue with me about it. And after Dad died, when her behavior started to get worse…well… I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Especially when she’s grieving.”

“But you’ve been grieving, too, Soph.” He smiled slightly. “Sounds like you just need to find the right way to politely ask her to stay out of your business.”

Laughing, I nodded in agreement. “I think you’re right.”

“How do you like your dinner?” he asked, pointing his fork to my plate, where I’d practically inhaled half of my meal already.

“Josh, this is amazing. Can I get the recipe?”

“Well, it’s a secret family recipe. You’ll have to show me you can be trusted with it.”

I raised a brow. “What did you have in mind?”

His eyes darkened, and I had to keep from squirming in my seat when a sudden throbbing between my legs started. “If you keep looking at me like that, Josh, we’re going to have to do like they do in the movies and sweep everything off the table and go at it right here.”

He laughed. “I don’t want my first time with you to be on the dining table. However, I do see where the use of a table could come into play.”

My heart rate increased, and I tried to take slow, deep breaths. “Really?” I asked, not even sure that was my voice coming out of my mouth. It sounded breathy and deeper than normal.

When he grinned, I nearly yelled for him to do whatever it was he was thinking.

“Are you finished eating, Soph?”

All I could do was nod.

Josh stood and took his plate and mine. It took me a few seconds to stand and help clear the table off. We worked in silence as we cleaned the kitchen from dinner. While I rinsed everything off and put items in the dishwasher, Josh packed the food into a container and placed it in the fridge. I could feel the sexual tension growing between us each time he brushed past me. If he didn’t kiss me—or better yet, touch me—I was positive I was going to explode.

I had just finished placing the last dish in the dishwasher when I felt his heat behind me. I stilled and closed my eyes when his warm breath tickled my neck. He softly kissed my nape, and my entire body shivered with anticipation.

What would he do? How far was he willing to go?

Suddenly, I wondered how far he’d gone with other women. Not that it mattered. I had a sex life before I met Josh, and even if he was saving himself, he’d said he knew how to pleasure a woman, had done so with his hands.

I moaned at the thought, and that made Josh turn me around. Our eyes met, and when his lips pressed to mine, I quickly found myself lost. Then I imagined those lips on my most intimate body parts, and I felt my knees go weak.

Josh swept me off my feet—literally. My arms wrapped around his neck, my legs around his waist, as the kiss deepened. He started to walk…

And went right by the table.

I ripped my mouth away and glanced from the table back to him. “The table?”

He huffed. “Sophia, the first time I touch you, it is not going to be on my damn kitchen table. It’s going to be in my bed.”

My mouth formed an O, but nothing came out. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my heartbeat in my ears.

When I was able to speak, I said, “Josh, we don’t have to…”

My words faded away as he stopped walking, and our gazes met. “Do you not want this yet, Soph?”

“I do! I mean, I want to be with you. Badly. In whatever way you’re ready for.”

He kissed me quickly and then started for his bedroom again. Once inside, he slowly lowered me to the floor. “May I undress you, Soph?”

Okay, am I dreaming? I have to be dreaming, because how more perfect could this man get?

I nodded even as I reached for his shirt. He allowed me to pull it over his head. I dropped it to the floor and just stared at the man before me. I hadn’t had a chance to really take him in the night before. Josh was beyond beautiful. He had broad shoulders and a massive chest with muscles that jumped under the touch of my fingertips as I slowly explored his body. My fingers drifted lower, until they went over the most toned set of abs I’d ever seen.

“God. You really do work out a lot, Mr. Shaw.”

He chuckled.

When my hand fell to his jeans, he sucked in a breath. My eyes lifted to his. “Yes?”

With a shake of his head, he said, “Not yet. I’m afraid the moment you touch me, I’ll explode.”

I drew my lower lip into my mouth and bit down. I loved that my touch had just as much of an impact on him as Josh’s had on me.

He slowly pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it on top of his own. Then stared at me for so long, I was about to ask him if he was okay. But before I did, he bent and placed a soft kiss right on the edge of my bra. He followed that with another…then sucked on the skin. Hard. I groaned, and my head fell back when his tongue came out to soothe the area.

I wasn’t even aware he’d unclasped my bra until I felt it moving down my arms. I cried out when his mouth took my nipple. Pushing my fingers into his hair, I drew him closer to me.

“Josh,” I whispered, as he moved to the other nipple and gave it just as much attention. He bit gently, making me cry out again, then went back to soothing with his tongue and cool bursts of breath.

“Oh, God,” I panted as his hands went to the button of my jeans. When I dragged my gaze down to watch, he went to his knees to remove my jeans and toss them to the side. Then he placed his hands on my ass and pulled me to him. He kissed me through my panties, and the heat from his breath caused me to gasp and grab hold of his hair.

“Jesus!” I cried out, attempting to remain standing when all my legs wanted to do was buckle out from underneath me.

He stood quickly and cupped my face, kissing me passionately as he backed me toward the bed. Once my legs hit the mattress, I sat down, breaking the kiss between us.

Josh looked down at me and said, “Climb up farther onto the bed, Soph.”

I had never scrambled back so fast in my entire life. I knew we wouldn’t be making love yet, and I was okay with that. I wanted him, but I wanted him to be sure , more than anything.

He took hold of the waistband on my panties. “Lift up.”

The moment I lifted my hips, he had my panties sliding down and off my legs. Then he simply stood there and stared at me, naked on his bed.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, Sophia.”

“Touch me, Josh. Please.”

He crawled onto the bed and over me, pressing his mouth to mine, and we got lost in another kiss. When I felt his hand move up my leg, I jumped.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly against my ear.

“God, yes! Please don’t stop.”

“You’re sure?”

I grabbed onto his shoulders. “Josh, please .”

He chuckled and kissed down my neck. “You never have to beg.”

My eyes squeezed shut when I felt him pull my leg to the side. I dropped them open for him, and when he swept his fingers over my core, I cried out. It wouldn’t take much to make me come, that was clear.

He slipped two fingers inside me, and I sighed in pleasure. I hadn’t even noticed his mouth had moved lower to cover my nipple. He sucked and licked as his fingers slowly moved in and out of my body.

“Josh,” I whispered as he rolled his thumb over my clit. “Oh, God!”

When his hand stilled, and he withdrew from my nipple, I opened my eyes to look at him.

“I’ve never made anyone come with my mouth before.”

I wasn’t surprised by his admission. It was an extremely intimate act. But just knowing he was thinking about it…that I might be the first woman he wanted to do that with? It nearly made me come right then and there.

Still… “You don’t have to do that until you’re ready, Josh.”

He smiled his wicked grin and dropped a kiss above my belly button…before moving lower. In between kisses, he said, “I know I don’t have to. I want to. I’ve been dreaming of this for weeks, Sophia.”

“Weeks?” I panted, as he placed a kiss on the inside of my thigh. He put his big body between my legs and pushed on my thighs until I was wide open for him.

“Fucking hell, you’re perfect everywhere .”

I reached for the comforter and grabbed it tight when I finally felt Josh’s tongue sweep through my folds. I bucked and cried out in sheer pleasure.

The feel of his warm hands on my hips, holding me down, had me even more turned on. I could tell that, at first, Josh was exploring different ways of kissing me, touching me, licking me…and I was about to let out a scream. My body was so wound up and ready for release.

“ Fuck ,” he growled, before he covered my opening with his mouth. His tongue thrust in and out of me in a slow torment, and it felt so damn good that I purred like a freaking kitten.

“Yes! Oh, Josh, yes!”

Then his mouth was gone, and I could feel him replace his tongue with his fingers. But his mouth was soon back on my clit. Sucking, licking, and making me lose my mind.

“Oh my God!” I shouted as he moved his fingers faster.

When he flattened his tongue on my clit, I grabbed his head and held him there as I ground myself shamelessly against his face.

“Josh! Josh!” I cried out as I lost control. “I’m going to come!”

My body was right on the verge of pleasure. All he had to do was press harder against my clit, and I went into a free fall that was so blissful, I wasn’t sure I would ever recover. My eyes were shut tight, my back arched, and Josh was still licking me as if I were his favorite flavor of ice cream. Stars burst behind my lids, and I swore if I opened my eyes I’d find the room spinning.

When I did open my eyes, I looked down at his head, still between my legs—and another orgasm hit. I arched again and cried out Josh’s name over and over, until I was begging him to stop.

Josh laughed when I pushed him away from me. “I can’t…I need…to breathe!”

He sat back on his heels and wore the biggest smile I’d ever seen. “Was that good for you?”

My mouth fell open. “Did you not hear me screaming out your name? Multiple times?”

Shrugging, Josh replied, “I was busy concentrating on making you feel good.”

I laughed. “It felt good. Better than good. The most amazing orgasm of my life.”

“Really?” he asked, a smirk replacing the smile.

Leaning up on my elbows, I glanced down at the obvious erection straining against his pants. “Your turn?”

He dropped his head, then looked back at me. “I’m fine.”

Climbing to my knees, I slowly shook my head. “Oh no. You tasted me, and now I get to taste you.”

“I’ve never…I mean…”

“You’ve never had a woman go down on you?”

“No. Just like I’ve never done that until you. By the way, I think we’ll be doing that a lot.”

“You won’t hear me complain about that .”

Josh laughed.

I started to undo his jeans. “Stand up and take these off, Josh.”

He did as I asked, then slid his boxers down to reveal himself to me. He was stunning, just like I remembered, and my eyes widened as I took in his size. Lifting my gaze to meet his, I raised my brow and said, “That is so impressive, Mr. Shaw.”

His face turned red. “Thank you?”

Motioning with my finger for him to come closer, I licked my lips as I took in the bead of moisture at the tip of his dick. When I placed my hand on his hard length, Josh hissed, drawing in a deep breath.

“ Fuck .”

Smiling, I used my other hand to gently play with his balls as I slowly stroked up and down.

“Jesus, Soph, I’m not going to last long.”

I peeked up at him and smiled before I lowered my head and took him into my mouth.

His hips jerked, and he buried his hands in my hair and let out a moan that nearly had me coming again.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to go slow and make it as good for him as he’d made it for me. The fact that he had shared such intimacies with me was enough to make me cry…or dare I even think it…