Perfect (Love in Yorkshire #1)

Five

After a thorough introduction to farm life, my father drove us back to the house.

I’d had a preconception about staring at fields all day. I thought it would be fairly dull, but I enjoyed myself in the end.

Dad appeared to be well into farming now and his attitude was infectious. It forced me to embrace that outdoor girl I never knew I had.

The place was much larger than I had first anticipated and was set in acres of grassland. My father explained how he had been forced to pay top prices for the land and why quality was the most important factor when expanding a farm. This answered the question as to where most of his money had gone.

Depending on the season, each area would be ploughed before the crops were sown, cultivated, and eventually harvested. It was quite a lengthy process and of course much more complex than the carrots I had grown with my mum in the garden back home.

As we rattled around in the dusty Land Rover, I listened keenly as my father spoke about the pressures on farming, climate change, high input costs, and his five-minute rant about unfeasible government policies for agriculture. I must admit to being guilty of zoning out at that point.

As we drove up the driveway and into the yard, I saw Connor by his Ranger. The bonnet was up, and I could only see part of his head, but I knew it was him as the two farmhands I’d been introduced to that morning were a totally different build.

The Land Rover pulled up to the house and then my father apologised as he took a call from his phone. I clambered ungraciously from the vehicle, feeling hot and sweaty.

As my dad disappeared, I started kicking a few stones at my feet, wondering if Connor would look up from what he was doing and talk to me. I had high hopes for a better day; maybe for a normal conversation where he didn’t look at me like he wanted to throttle me. He must have heard the car but had decided to ignore me anyway. I couldn’t understand why I felt such a strong need to hover when the arse was blatantly blanking me; miserable sod .

I shook my foot in an attempt to dislodge a trapped pebble from my shoe and moved closer, wondering how best to break the silence. I had toyed with the thought of saying something about Ella, curious to see how he’d react. Of course, I had promised her I wouldn’t tell Connor we’d been gossiping about him but I didn’t say I wouldn’t mention that she’d stopped by.

I took a deep breath; fuck it, there was nothing pathetic about making the first move.

“So how was the pub?” I began breezily with a curt nod as I plonked myself at the front of the truck. He kept fiddling under the bonnet, looking fit even though he wore oil-stained jeans and a tank top. The muscles in his arms were bulging. In a word, he was mouth-watering. The tattoos on his arm appeared to be of all sorts of different images and wording which I didn’t understand. By some miracle, I managed not to drool.

Connor glanced sideways at me and straightened, wiping his oily hands on a rag before gesturing for me to move out of the way with a flick of his fingers. I moved back, determined not to be put off. He reached past me and stuffed the rag into a gap between the engine and the wing.

“How was the pub?” he repeated slowly, almost tasting my words, now actually looking at me. I almost turned away but managed to stand my ground. I was here all summer, we’d have to speak at some point.

His face had lost that hateful expression he’d worn at the train station. It gave me the green light and made me more confident.

“Yes, Daddy says you go every week. Is there a quiz on or something?” I replied, feeling like a schoolgirl again. Drat why had I called my father daddy in front of him? My heart hammered against my ribs as I awaited a mean comeback.

He gave me a pointed look and raised an eyebrow.

“Do I look like I do quizzes?” Connor said in his deep baritone.

I gulped down a ball of frustration. Here we go again.

“I’m just making conversation Connor. You could attempt to play nice. Don’t you think we should try and get along while I’m here?” I said, trying to reason with him .

His dark eyes narrowed as he turned fully toward me, placing one hand on the car near a section littered with tools. The sun caught his face, highlighting each delicious cheekbone.

“Firstly, I don’t ‘play’, and what’s the actual point? After the summer is over, you’ll just fuck off back down south again. That’s if you make it through the first week. You’ll be bored to tears without the latest episode of the fucking Kardashians, no designer shops or silly girlfriends for you to gossip with.”

I smiled thinly. Same old shit, different day. I managed to suck back my original retort and went with, “So, you see me as one of those worthless society girls?” I snorted. “You’re wrong, I may like nice clothes and stuff but I’m not like that at all. You’ve been watching too many dodgy American dramas.”

“No, you have,” he shot back.

“I don’t watch the Kardashians actually. I find it boring.”

“Really?” Connor sneered, doubt radiating from his pinned expression. That sly smirk still kicked up my pulse.

“Yes, really . Not that my life is any of your business.” I curled my fingers into fists.

He nodded and agreed with me. But it still wasn’t pleasant. “That’s right. It isn’t my business and I really couldn’t give a shit. I’ve no time for sheltered brats.”

I felt the urge to thump him and backed away a few steps. The closeness of our bodies was doing strange things to my pulse. The wall hit my back and I attempted to look casual as I leaned against it. Hopefully, the stone support would make me appear more chilled out than I was feeling. I so needed to conquer my body’s weakness toward this boy.

Eying him warily beneath my lashes, I recalled Ella’s words about Connor and his issues with his dad. Maybe the punk brought it on himself, it wouldn’t surprise me as he was such an argumentative dick. I was a lunatic for wanting to talk to him but I couldn’t fight that strange pull I felt. It was like I needed him to like me.

I felt momentarily deflated but powered on.

“Why don’t we call a truce, try and be friends? I’m actually quite nice when you get to know me. Why make this situation more difficult?”

My fingers crossed of their own accord, hoping he’d take the offer. It was extremely gracious of me, bearing in mind his terrible behaviour so far .

Connor smirked and propped his backside against the car, leaning against it before folding his arms across his chest. A hot wave of lust crashed against my pelvis. He was taller and broader than any other boy I had met. I imagined he’d be able to handle himself physically. The thought of that also made me feel gooey inside which was odd. I hated violence of any type.

“I suppose I’m just a difficult kind of guy.” He cocked his head to one side and regarded me.

I smiled as for once we agreed with each other.

“Yes, one that doesn’t do quizzes or Kim Kardashian I hear,” I pointed out with a half-joking tone. He didn’t return my smile; the guy was merely humouring me. I refused to care as at least he was talking to me.

“You’re right about the first point, not so much the second. I’d certainly do Kim Kardashian if given the chance.”

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the stab of jealousy. “Nice.” I pushed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. His eyes followed the movement.

“So, what did you do at the pub?” I asked, regaining his attention. His eyes darkened as they drilled into me, talk about intense. I could see from his face that he thought my question moronic and I suppose it was, but I was trying to coax a response.

“Drink,” he replied in a ‘dur’ type of tone.

It made me smile wider, literally from ear to ear. “Yes, I know that but what else? Do you play darts or something?”

Although he fought it, my words forced his lips into a grin and my pulse skyrocketed. Connor Barratt wore an actual smile and the fact that I had put it there felt like I’d created a small miracle. It made him appear human, boyish even. It was the first proper smile I’d seen on his face.

I didn’t know why I questioned him. I wanted to poke for answers but knew the chance of getting any true facts was probably slim to none.

Connor unfolded his arms and placed them behind his back on the truck, one winged brow arched in question. It was a very sexy eyebrow if eyebrows could be deemed sexy of course.

His chuckle was gravelly .

“Is that your idea of how a farmer spends his spare time, playing darts? Now, who’s been watching too many dodgy dramas?” The muscles on his shoulders bunched as he rocked his weight against the car, eyeing me thoughtfully. “It’s the pub. I do what everyone else does in there. I drink, I hang out, relax; catch up with mates, that sort of thing.”

I managed to ignore his vague taunt and raised my freshly tweezed eyebrows, gaining confidence. We were now engaged in actual banter, it felt refreshing.

“You do have some friends then?” I cast him my best playful look. Usually, when I used that expression, boys fell to their knees. Connor didn’t of course but the atmosphere between us changed to a lighter tone.

He shot me one of those smiles. “Funny.” He acknowledged grimly, releasing a nasty laugh.

A few strands of hair had come loose from my ponytail and I pushed them back whilst powering on.

“What did you talk about?” I asked, genuinely interested to know what farm boys discussed when getting pissed. Would they chat about girls or their opinion on the latest model of tractor? I’d put my money on the latter.

He eyed me thoughtfully. His reply shouldn’t have surprised me after what Ella had said, but it did.

“ You, actually.”

My brow threaded and I felt a whoosh of adrenalin hit me. The fact that he just laid it out there rattled me a little.

A mixture of raw emotions slapped me all at once. Disbelief, frustration, distrust.

“Me?!” I squeaked, heat crawling up my neck and into my cheeks.

It was strange hearing Connor confess without a trace of embarrassment.

A charge of energy reached out as my stepbrother pushed off the car and stepped towards me, his eyes scanning my face like he was looking for something.

“Yep, you were the main topic of discussion. Thomas Wade believes he’s found his future Mrs.”

A smirk crossed his lips and he shot me a look I couldn’t determine.

“Really?” My voice was way too high.

He slowly nodded his head. “Yep, really . ”

My mouth twisted which I knew wrinkled my nose. I wasn’t sure how to respond. It now felt odd having a ‘boys’ discussion with this particular one. Discomfort snaked its way from my stomach to my chest.

Turning my face away slightly, I muttered, “I only spoke to him for ten minutes,” almost tripping over the words. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to defend myself.

Connor took another step forward into my space and I felt the fine hairs on my neck bristle.

“Speak the hell up and stop mumbling,” he ordered into my ear, drawing the words out slowly to highlight his point. I could feel his breath against my neck. I loved that he tried to tell me what to do. It was such a turn-on. His body language stated he was in charge.

He was so close, and considering he’d probably been working on the Ranger all morning, his scent was amazing, fucking intoxicating. He was all male but free from aftershave and there was no hint of sweat, even though his top was slightly damp. Heady is the word I would go for.

“I said we only spoke for ten minutes. But the banter was good, our conversation flowed well. Considering he’s so smart.”

“You don’t need to worry about matching his level of intelligence. He doesn’t give a shit how clever you are.”

“Well, it helps if you’re on the same page with things like that. It means you have more in common.”

Connor bent his head even closer, his eyes intensely focused on my lips. “That’s bullshit. Tom doesn’t give a crap about the size of your brain. He probably got a hard-on the second he saw you. And don’t look shocked by my words. His attraction has nothing to do with your fucking conversation.”

I pulled my hands from my pockets and clasped them together in front of me, they were shaking. He was steering the conversation to a place where he could be horrible to me. I felt so uncomfortable in my skin at that point.

I decided to play ignorant. “Sorry, I don’t get you?”

“Supposedly, you have nice tits,” he said, glancing briefly at my chest. My heart leapt and heat stung my cheeks. Had Tom really said that about me? He’d seemed like such a nice boy .

“You did not just say that to me,” I scoffed, mortified at the thought of my tiny offering in the boob department being discussed in the village pub.

He shrugged, “What? I’m only saying it as I heard it.”

“Did he say anything else?”

Connor viewed me with a skewed type of fascination. It was unsettling. I sure hoped he didn’t think I was fishing.

He ignored me and went off on a tangent, “You really think he gives a shit about your sparkling personality? You think that anything around here with a cock will?” Connor said, swinging a look around.

I gnawed on my answer, ignoring his bluntness, squinting up at him. “He was interested in what I had to say thank you very much. He’s nice and easy to talk to,” I put out there with a pout.

My reply didn’t seem to sit well with him and darkness clouded his features. Connor’s eyes were now hooded as he continued to watch me.

“Is he? He’s still a man Harlow and men think with their pricks.”

He was so crude. My nervous tic kicked in but I tried to stay firm. “I can’t believe Tom would talk about me like that.”

Connor frowned, “Like what?” It then dawned on him what I meant. “Ah, the tits comment. I never said Tom said that.”

I scowled, “Then who?”

My stepbrother shook his head, “Believe me. You don’t want to know. Fucking trouble, that’s who. Most of the guys around here are players, Harlow. You should remember that.”

I wrung my hands together, feeling pressure to provide the perfect reply. “I’ll remember that the next time I give two shits about what you think. Tom’s sister is cool too. Met her today.”

There, I had said it. Boom!

I needed to pop her name in there to gauge his reaction.

Connor cleared his throat but he gave nothing away.

“So, I heard,” he asserted in a bored voice.

Silence filled the space between us and I tilted my head and focused on a spot behind him in the yard, momentarily breaking eye contact.

“Yes, she seemed really lovely. She surprised me,” I pointed out like it was no big deal.

His response was not one that I’d hoped for, although by now I should have expected it. Connor Barratt was a guarded guy and he wasn’t about to spill the beans about getting it on with Ella Wade.

“Ella Wade and the word lovely don’t share the same fucking planet. She wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Check out the competition. You girls are all the same.” he drew out.

My face twisted.

“To see what the fuss was about?” I shot back, puzzled at how easily he drew the subject back to me.

He stepped back and dashed a frustrated hand across his jaw. “Stop repeating my words, it’s just plain annoying.” His voice was raised.

I exhaled before putting in, “She’s pretty.”

“If you like that sort of thing,” he said dispassionately.

“There’s nothing not to like. Surely you find her attractive?”

“Not particularly,” he replied before adding. “And if you think I’m going to gossip about relationships and boys you can think again.”

I forced a sigh as if I was disappointed and he shot me one of those looks.

“Why not? Guys think with their pricks, don’t they? It sounds like all village boys are panting for it. Ella said the same.” I was on a roll. This was the most I had gotten out of him. “ You’re a guy.” I pointed out with a winning smile.

“I think you’re heading into dangerous waters, Harlow. You don’t want to discuss my sex life. You wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

My heart surely skipped a beat as the word sex rolled from between those perfect lips. He was such a cocky sod.

I cleared my throat suddenly feeling hot and he quirked an eyebrow at me. I knew he was trying to embarrass me, so I took the bull by the horns.

“We can talk about your sex life if you want, why not? I’ll tell you about mine, maybe we can share tips,” I responded in a luring, confident voice, now copying his expression like for like.

He snorted at my reply. “Whatever. You don’t fucking have one. ”

Connor was right of course but I was now having too much fun. “How do you know?”

His expression was drawn and his look said that he was contemplating running me over with his Ranger. Maybe the thought of me with other boys annoyed him?

Connor dashed a hand across his jaw and then he laughed.

“Well, how would you know? I might be a right tart.”

“And the fact that you used the word tart just reinforces the truth that you’re the opposite.”

Pursing my lips thoughtfully, I considered his reply. “I’m that obvious?”

He slowly nodded his head whilst maintaining eye contact. “It’s stamped all over you princess. Have you ever even kissed a boy?”

I grinned as he dashed the other hand through his hair, having realised that I had managed to trap him into talking about relationships and boys after all.

“You’re clever, I’ll give you that.”

I was awarded a half-smile which wasn’t so bad and his face softened.

“So how about you? Have you ever even kissed a girl? You certainly don’t know how to talk to one,” I pointed out bravely, rocking back on my heels to scrutinise his face.

He slowly shook his head. “Nice try but I don’t kiss and tell Harlow.”

I sighed, not wanting to give in. “Or do you not want to say because your tastes run towards a certain type?” I was going for playful, but my next words were blatantly provocative. “What’s the matter Connor, don’t you like girls?” I regretted them as soon as they had tumbled out of my mouth.

Silence closed around us and it was suddenly so quiet, considering we were outside. Even the cows seemed to be holding their breath. ‘ Don’t you like girls ?’ WTF had that come from? My comment was both foolish and inflammatory.

Connor moved with an animal-like grace, rolling his shoulders, and invading my space, a determined expression on his face. The wall behind me bit into my back as he placed his hands against the surface on either side of my head, caging me in. His mouth was so close to mine and my eyes widened, I could see his pupils were dilated; like two dark and promising pools. It was mesmerising. It was only when he shifted and I felt his fingertips trace my collarbone that snapped my attention back. His other strong hand then moved to cradle the side of my face. His fingertips were rough against the softness of my skin.

My lips parted and heat jetted into me. His body was so close to mine. His gaze caressed my exposed throat and my blood felt thicker in my veins. His manner could have been considered threatening, but I wasn’t scared. I wanted him to touch me. I needed to see how my body would feel against his. The image of being beneath him exploded into my head. It was an unwelcome picture. By my head anyway, my body was screaming ‘bring it’.

Dark eyes moved fleetingly over my breasts before they lifted to my lips.

Connor’s rough voice dropped to a whisper and he lowered his head, his eyes closing before placing his forehead against mine. He exhaled sharply; his breath warm against my face. We were now skin to skin and I could feel his firm fingers against my nape.

I was focused on his mouth and it curled slightly before he said. “I like girls just fine Harlow. But you’re hardly ready for adult conversations about relationships on any level. So, I suggest you stop provoking me before I do something we’ll both regret.”

Connor drew back and opened his eyes, sliding his hand to cup my chin. His other arm rested against the wall above my head. He then slid his mouth to my ear, his lips grazing the cuff and murmured, “Don’t poke the mean boy little girl, you won’t like the results.” His voice was full of sensual warning and my pulse took off as I panted, suddenly short of breath.

That fight-or-flight thing, Mr. Cunningham always went on about in Psychology kicked in and it appeared that fight won as I replied. “Are you threatening me?” My own voice was just audible.

Connor drew back and tilted his head to the side, impaling me with a give-me-a-break expression before returning his gaze to my lips. They parted in response like an automatic invitation. My body appeared to have completely taken over and was responding as a woman does to an attractive man. The hand that had cupped my chin was now curled gently around my throat. I was on fire everywhere he touched me.

Shaking his head slowly from side to side, Connor shot me a pointed look. “Don’t start with all that clichéd crap. You want me to say it’s not a threat, that it’s a promise, don’t you? Like we’re in some fucking TV show.” He paused for a moment and his eyes still tangled with mine. “Maybe it is a promise, Harlow, how would you like me to retaliate?” he questioned in a raspy voice. My God, was it weird that I wanted to lick the strong column of his throat?

Connor’s eyes glimmered, he was perversely enjoying our banter, as was I.

I probably should have listened to his warning, but being this close felt so natural and I raised one hand and placed it firmly against the middle of his broad chest, almost as if to push him away yet I exerted no pressure. His pectoral muscles twitched beneath my fingers and I heard his sharp intake of breath as my palm touched his skin through his top. The guy was as hard as a rock.

I didn’t shove him away. I knew that I should, but I just stood there, in silence, dazed. Did he too feel the electric type charge travelling through my body? I was sure I could feel his heart beating gently against my palm.

Connor’s expression was now thoughtful and he was breathing deeply. He wasn’t as immune to me as he made out and that realisation gave me a burst of courage. I felt prepared to take anything he decided to dish out; so I goaded him on purpose.

“You’re full of shit with your silly threats and empty promises,” I delivered with a sultry smile before adding. ‘You, Connor Barratt, are all talk.” My eyes widened as I watched him through my lashes, feeling the most feminine I ever had. We were different in so many ways, but I felt the connection and he had to feel it too.

He smiled with a challenging light in his eyes, his thumb skittering over my collarbone as he leaned down saying. “You’re wrong, I don’t make empty promises Harlow, I had too many of those growing up, so I suggest you stop baiting me. As I said before, I never play, at anything . You wouldn’t be able to handle me on any level virgin .” His expression held a thread of hostility.

The attraction I felt at that moment was almost painful and my nipples tightened against the silk of my bra. I so wanted to lean up and put my mouth against his. My body and my mind were now completely aligned. This must have been what naked lust felt like.

Our eyes continued to clash and I felt the unleashed danger within him. He was fighting for restraint. I could feel it in every taunt muscle. I wanted him to shove me further against the wall and grind his mouth over mine. Just like you saw in the movies; for him to be rough with me. Everything romantic in my limited life so far had been far too tame. My body demanded more. More than a few stolen sloppy kisses from the boys at school.

The incessant throb of desire continued to pump through me.

His next words made my breathing jerk.

“I know you want me to fuck you Harlow, but it isn’t going to happen. You’re a Daddy’s girl and I don’t deflower virgins.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but the sound of a vehicle dragged me out of my trance. It was like someone had thrown cold water over us and I raised my other hand and pushed against his chest, panicked that someone would see us. He released me and stepped back of his own accord, glancing over his shoulder as Marcus, the vet I had met the other day drove into the yard, spraying pebbles.

My knees wobbled and I shakily brushed my hands against my hair to straighten back any unruly bits. Frustrated at the interruption. My ponytail must have been in tatters.

Connor turned back to face me, stroking his hand down his firm chin, like he was contemplating something again.

His eyes met mine and my stomach knotted.

“This isn’t over,” I told him, straight to his face. I now had his full attention as he dropped his arm and his fingers curled into fists.

That sweet, sensual connection that had bound us was broken and although he attempted to appear unaffected, I could see he was battling with himself.

“It never even started Harlow. You need to stay away from me. I don’t play these types of games with little, inexperienced girls. Go practice on someone your own age,” his words were softly spoken but I recognised a hint of regret.

I opened my mouth to say something but what? Confusion and hurt raced around my head. He must have seen I was upset, as his face started to soften but then Marcus’s voice broke in between us.

“Con, you have a heifer down in field four. Clive just called.” Marcus’s voice was business-like and Connor turned to face him. His back was broad and well-muscled and I threw a couple of invisible darts at it, now feeling totally mugged off .

I stood there for a few minutes and my eyes narrowed as I watched the two men talking about an issue with a cow. A cow God’s sake! It was like I wasn’t even there.

Tutting, I slid past them with a full-on pout, I needed to be alone to lick my wounds.

As I entered the house, I almost ran into dad who was on his way out, concern etched into his face. No doubt to do with the bloody cow.

He sidestepped me so we didn’t bump into each other. “Sorry darling. Everything OK?” he said with a trace of concern. He could probably see from my body language that I was pissed off.

As I carried on walking, I glanced over my shoulder.

“Fine. Absolutely fine.” My tone must have said the exact opposite.

“Good stuff,” he chimed before marching out towards the other two men who were now walking determinedly to the car.

As I mounted the stairs toward my room, I felt thoroughly annoyed with myself. Was I that mentally na?ve? Had I totally read the situation wrong and just made a complete fool of myself, it certainly felt that way.

Maybe Connor was just toying with me, he acted like a dick towards me most of the time.

I exhaled noisily. I’d travelled here, hating the guy and had planned on staying away from him and now I appeared to be chasing him? WTF was wrong with me? My head needed to have a few words with my libido it seemed.

As I threw myself backwards onto my bed, I must have spent the next hour replaying the whole bloody event in my head.

Eventually, I was finally given closure as I dozed off, my head at last free from thoughts of my desperate behaviour and annoying, unpredictable boys.