Phoenix Found (Brothers of Fire #5)

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Quentin barely gave a nudge, and he entered Oliver’s mind. He had no more defenses than the average human, which was far less than the average paranormal. Someone needed to help him fix that. Was it because the Shadow Board had stripped him of all defenses as a child, or was it because of years of captivity?

It took a couple of seconds to orientate himself, in part because he expected the corridor of doors the same as Everest and Kaine. Kaine kept every one of his doors locked, and getting into his mind involved an invitation and a full security screen—and that was for him, his mate.

“This is different.” Quentin stood in a field of short grass.

“Different bad?” Oliver stood next to him.

“Just different.” Were the memories blades of grass? “Where do you keep your past lives?”

“Here, this is where you wanted to be.” Oliver pointed at a glowing, palm-sized jewel.

Dotted over the grass, Quentin noticed more of them. How had he missed them? Or was that a security measure ?

“Are they in any kind of order?” The field stretched on in all directions, and the stones with it. He knew from Everest’s mind that there were hundreds of lives, and the further he went down the corridor, the deeper into the past they went. The memories inside the other memory had been columns etched with the previous lives, which meant the way the mind stored the past lives had the ability to evolve over time.

Oliver glanced around. “I think this is the most recent one. Then that one.” He started following the jewels. “How many would I have lived in captivity?”

“That’s hard to guess. They would want to maximize their investment in raising you. So assume you worked for them for fifteen at a minimum. With no break between lives.”

“So seven. eight.” He kept walking in a wide spiral. “Nine. Ten to be sure. They are off limits.” The jewels dimmed and became harder to see. Interesting. Oliver had some control over his inner mind even though Quentin had walked in without passing any security measures.

“Okay.” While it was easier to see the lives laid out like this, after a couple of turns of the spiral, it became hard to see the individual stones and impossible to count them. On the other hand, if he cut straight across, he could reach the start. He took a step but hit an invisible wall.

“You have to follow the path,” Oliver said.

“Right.” Like with Everest and Kaine, there was no shortcut to the past. That must be a biological safety mechanism, as going too far back must be dangerous. Was it harder to leave a very old memory? He’d already seen how easy it was to become lost. He followed the path and joined Oliver. “If we focus on the next couple, we should be able to find a time where you were happy and confident and at home.”

“That one?” Oliver pointed to a stone that had lit up brighter.

“That looks like a good place to start.” Quentin walked over and studied the stone, hoping for some instructions or something, but the stone was smooth and offered no clues.

“How can you be sure?”

“I’m not, but it seems like it wants to be noticed. Do you think touching it will allow us to step in?” Opening doors made sense. Glowing stones weren’t something he knew how to use.

“Are you saying that I only need to think of something I want to find out, and the correct stone will light up?”

“It looks that way. Why? Do you want to test out a few other things before we go in?”

Oliver raked his teeth over his lower lip, looking very much like someone who did, in fact, want to test a few more things before jumping into the past. “No. Let’s just do this one. There’s plenty of time to look at other lives, right?”

Quentin smiled. “There is.”

He sat on the grass and waited for Oliver to follow suit, then he reached out and placed his hand on the glowing stone.

There was a rush and a drop like being on a rollercoaster, and his stomach hadn’t caught up with his body. Then they were in a previous life, although he had no idea when. “There you are.”

Oliver appeared to be middle-aged, though it was hard to tell with the past, and he appeared to be teaching a young boy how to fight. They both held wooden swords and hide-wrapped shields.

It was easy to recognize the other phoenixes in the memories. Even though they didn’t look exactly the same as they did now, their features were similar enough, and they all had a vibe about them.

“I can’t break this, can I? I don’t want to change the past.”

“You can’t change anything; you can only view it and learn from it.” Why Oliver’s memory had brought him back to this moment, Quentin wasn’t sure. But some part of Oliver had determined that this was what he needed, which for the moment was enough.

“The boy is a phoenix shifter.” Oliver took a few steps closer, as if more interested in the boy than his own past self. “I don’t recognize him. He’s not with us now.”

“Oooh, Everest mentioned there was a sixth phoenix when they created the kingdom. I wonder what happened to him.”

“Is it in one of our books?”

“Yes, but there are a lot of books, so if I find him in a memory and pin down a date range, it will make things a lot easier.”

Oliver nodded. “Is it weird that I can understand them?”

“No, it’s something to do with it being your own memory. You won’t remember the language when we leave. Sorry there’s no shortcuts to learning French.”

“Damn.”

They watched the lesson for a bit, and it became clear Oliver was playing the part of the boy’s father, not his weapons teacher. And the boy seemed to look up to him.

Oliver turned as if bored, but he was staring at the castle. “This training area is now a wing of the castle. That should give you a clue about the time.”

“Good idea. I can find that.” Because the records of when the various additions were very good.

A woman’s voice brought them back to the lesson. She kissed Oliver in a way that implied they were lovers, and the boy hugged her. This was the happy family that Oliver craved. And he appeared to be a competent swordsman.

Quentin glanced at him. Oliver was studying the memory and watching the way he interacted with the woman. The way he laughed with her and the way she smiled. The way he scooped the boy up and they made their way into the castle .

“Would you like to follow?”

Oliver didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

One step in a blink, and they were inside the castle. Moving through memories was not the same as walking around, and they appeared to have jumped forward in time. Which wasn’t Quentin’s doing. That meant Oliver had more control over his mind than the lack of security implied, and he doubted Oliver realized what he was doing.

“You have some control over what we do here and what you want to see. I can pull us out, but you will need to let me.” Otherwise, he’d need to bail and leave Oliver until he could return with Kaine’s extra strength.

“I wanted to find out more about the boy. What if he’s also a prisoner of the Shadow Board?”

“Okay, but be careful. I am more of a facilitator enabling you to take this tour, but you are in charge.” Which wasn’t what he’d expected. While he wasn’t worried about Oliver pulling an Everest, he also didn’t want to be jumping through a bunch of memories trying to solve another riddle. “And you can only see what you were present for, so the answers you seek may not be here.”

The boy was now older and working on his writing under his father’s supervision. They were talking about the upcoming wedding.

“I know that name…” Quentin murmured. It would be much easier if the phoenixes kept the same name in every life, and sometimes there were at least two different phoenixes who’d both used the same name over the centuries because when it came to kings, it was common for somebody to be the second or third. Which also made reading the records extra challenging.

“It’s Dalmon’s wedding to his fated mate.”

“How do you know that?” Quentin stared at him .

“Because I’m him.” Oliver nodded at the man. “And he doesn’t like the woman…oh shit, Dalmon’s fated mate is Lucian.”

“It is. And I’ve got a bad feeling about the boy.”

“Why is that?”

“Because apparently, in this life, Lucian betrayed Dalmon. Lucian was in a hard spot because the order had come from his father. And women didn’t have too many rights back then, and the father had threatened Dalmon and the rest of the phoenixes.”

“Do you think it was a one life for many situation?”

“It might have been Lucian making the best decision he…she back then…could.”

“And if one phoenix can be stolen by a witch, then stealing another one should be easy?”

Quentin was silent. Because he didn’t know how to answer that.

“When was the last time I saw the boy?”

The memory skipped forward, and even though they weren’t really standing, the jump was still disorientating, and they both stumbled as though they’d been spun around too many times.

Several years had passed, and the boy was now a young teen. But instead of getting ready for his first shift, he appeared to be quite ill.

Oliver sat by his bed, holding his hand and telling him how he was going to get better and be back training in no time. It was clear that he was putting on a brave face, and so was the boy. They both knew it was a loving lie.

They followed past-Oliver out of the room and into the arms of his wife, who dissolved into tears. She may only be playing the role of his mother, but it was clear that she loved the boy she’d raised .

She whispered about poison and blamed Lucian, but Oliver was loyal to his brother. They couldn’t interfere with fated mates.

But if he had, he might have saved two phoenixes, his son and his brother.

“I think I’ve seen enough.”

Quentin clasped Oliver’s hand. “Thank you for showing me this. I hope you got what you needed out of it.”

He didn’t wait for Oliver to speak before pulling him out of the memory and back to the field of stones.

Oliver grunted, landing on his ass in the grass even though they hadn’t moved. Quentin knew the sensation far too well. “I’ve found it’s nicer if you take a moment here before leaving.”

“It’s a little nauseating.”

“I’d like to say it gets better with practice, but I have yet to find that to be true. And the further back the memory, the more uncomfortable returning is for everyone involved.”

“Should I expect a headache when I wake up?”

“You’re not asleep; you’re in something like a deep meditation. If there’s an emergency, coming out of it would be disorientating, but there’s no physical damage. I’ve tested that.” He stood and admired the field. It was a nice solution to store the memories. And so very different from what he’d seen in Everest and Kaine’s minds. “Are you ready?”

Oliver got up. “Yes.”

Quentin brought them back up. Which always was like being dragged up from some unnamed depth. It wasn’t quite like being awakened from a deep sleep or like swimming up to the surface, as there was no gasping for breath. Perhaps returning to the present was more like waking up after a bender and figuring out where he was, who he was with, and what the fuck had happened the night before.

But there was no waking up in a strange bed with no clothes on. Or discovering the man next to him was his fated mate and that he was, in fact, a witch. He blinked a few times and wiggled his toes, re-orientating himself to being in the present.

Oliver opened his eyes and stretched.

“Don’t rush to get up.” He’d also learned that one the hard way and had the scar to prove it after crashing to the ground and clipping his jaw on the coffee table. Not particularly cool.

“I wasn’t about to. Playing with magic is exhausting.” But he did reach out and pick a chocolate chip biscuit out of the packet. He took a couple of bites and chewed with a scowl on his face as though expecting the cookie to become something inedible.

Quentin helped himself to one, not only because he was hungry but also to ground himself.

“It’s given me a lot to think about. Especially because I’m attracted to a guy, but back then, I had a wife.”

“Yeah. Don’t take this the wrong way, but having a wife and also having a lover was normal. And she probably had a lover too because it would’ve been weird if you only had the one kid, and given that you can’t get anyone pregnant…”

“But we loved each other. I felt it.” Oliver tapped his chest.

“It’s not an either-or situation. All the above can be true. You saw a couple of snippets from a life that was possibly sixty or seventy years long. What you know to be true was true in those moments. You can’t extrapolate years based on a few minutes. This is one of the problems of looking back. Every time you do, you are cherry-picking what you see. And you literally cannot go back and review an entire life because then you wouldn’t live this one.”

“So, like any other magic, there is a benefit and a cost that must be weighed. ”

“Exactly. You seek answers, but you may not be seeing the whole truth.”

With a sigh, Oliver put the last piece of biscuit in his mouth. “Will you do some more research on the boy?”

“I can do one better. I will speak to Dalmon and Lucian.”

Oliver’s eyes widened. “I don’t want to destroy their second chance.”

“You won’t. They are both aware of the betrayal, and Dalmon may have already read about it in his book.”

“Then why wouldn’t he share that he knows something about the boy?”

“Because Everest was already destroying himself to find you…and he may not have wanted his brothers to judge his mate a second time.” Quentin held Oliver’s gaze. “That’s the other problem with taking a trip into the past. You can’t judge your brothers, or other people you recognize, by what they did then when they are different people now and would make different choices. Even you. The you of today may not have stood loyal to his brother. You may have stood by your wife and protected your son.”