Poinsettia Lane

Chapter Twenty-Five

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

WHEN SHE FEELS like she can move again, Everly and Frankie clean up from the night before, finding empty glasses and bottles scattered throughout the kitchen, living room, and patio. Everly snags her phone off the charger, avoiding the fact that there are no missed calls or messages, and offers to drive Frankie back to their place across town.

Everly pulls into the driveway and shifts the car to park, sitting back in her seat with a sigh.

“What are you going to do?” Frankie asks.

“I don’t know. I guess maybe I’ll go to the greenhouse?” Everly’s voice tips up at the end, not entirely sure if that’s the right choice.

“I mean, stalking worked once, right?”

“Frankie! You’re the worst," Everly says with a groan, but she can’t help the stupid smile in response to her friend’s jibe.

“Real though, you should go. Just swing by and check, then at least you’ll feel better knowing. Whatever the outcome is, it’s better to know," Frankie says.

“You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Say that again? Not sure I heard you.”

Everly slaps their arm lightly and rolls her eyes. “Get out of my car.”

Frankie cackles, then groans as it triggers their hangover headache, pulling the car door open and stumbling out with their hand shading their eyes.

“Good luck out there," Frankie says, then slowly shuffles their way to the front door and disappears inside.

Everly is left alone in her car, and she lets it idle in Frankie’s driveway for a minute while she takes a moment to herself. She doesn’t feel as terrible as she did a few hours ago, but she still doesn’t feel great physically or mentally.

Despite that, she’s determined to get some answers today. Everly works best off a solid plan, so she takes a few minutes to think about it. Her first step is to go home and change. Maybe also take some more pain killers, chug some water, and grab a bite to eat, if she can stomach it.

She thinks about the rest of her plan for going to the greenhouse while driving home, mentally fortifying herself for bad, worse, and worst .

~~~

Everly is idling in her car again, this time in her driveway instead of Frankie’s. She’s washed, changed clothes, and checked everything off her list, as well as a few random extra things, and there’s nothing left to procrastinate with. It’s now or never, but she can’t get her hands and feet to work together properly to shift the car into drive.

She’s been trying not to let the spiraling, negative thoughts take over, but that’s nearly impossible at this point. Reflecting that the pounding in her head stopped over an hour ago, she decides if she can’t block them out, she’ll drown them out. Pulling out her phone, Everly connects to her car’s bluetooth and pulls up her “dance” playlist, the one she mainly uses when cleaning. Blasting it as loud as she can stand, she inhales a fortifying breath and takes the plunge.

On the drive to Magnolia Nursery, she focuses entirely on the music. Singing along, belting out the lyrics, head bopping and shoulders shimmying, she is in absolute denial and avoidance of any negative, anxious thought that might try to pop into her head. It works perfectly, until it doesn’t—the moment she turns onto his road.

Everly wonders why someone like Asim would want to be with her anyways. She’s boring. She works in an office, has no hobbies besides reading and sitting at the coffee shop, and barely has a personality, unless you count crippling anxiety. Everly braces herself for the likelihood that she will be dismissed, rejected, that he doesn’t want to see her and doesn’t care for her like she does him. Luckily, she manages to stay away from any thoughts more dire than that.

When Everly is close enough to see the greenhouse though, her mouth falls open and she gapes at the sight. Everything in her freezes, her body failing to respond to the signals her brain is sending, and she nearly sends the car careening off the side of the road. She overcorrects, wrenching the steering wheel the opposite direction, and a car behind her lays on the horn.

Everly makes it to the empty parking lot and parks haphazardly in the middle, her whole body trembling. Her mouth is dry, mind blank, and she feels like her heart fell out on the road and got ran over, twice. She can’t even speak, she’s just mouthing the word “ what ” over and over, trying to comprehend what she’s seeing.

The building is gone. Glaring yellow caution tape surrounds what used to be the main sales area, the part of the building Asim lived above. All of it is gone. Instead, she’s faced with charred rubble. Black, soot stained beams, piles of debris, and endless ash.

She can’t fully grasp what she’s seeing. Everly hesitantly turns the engine off and steps out, not even fully closing the car door behind her. How did she not hear about this? How did Frankie not hear about this and tell her? The rumor mill in their town is wild, and Everly is kicking herself for being such a recluse and hogging all of Frankie’s time the last couple days. Maybe if she hadn’t, she would have heard something and been here sooner.

She walks toward the remains, a few scorched beams still standing, one blackened wall along the back right corner, but the rest of the structure is crumbled and incinerated on the ground.

It smells like a bonfire, and she hates it. That’s not how Magnolia Nursery is supposed to smell.

Realizing she’s still gaping, Everly snaps her mouth closed and looks around, searching for Asim. She doesn’t see him anywhere, but there’s a canopy set up to the right side of the building’s remains, a camp chair and folding table underneath it.

She convinces her feet to walk in that direction, heart in her throat and dreading what or who she will find—and who she won’t. As she gets closer, someone rounds the blackened corner, and her breath catches, moisture flooding her eyes.

Asim.

Everly freezes in place, afraid to move and shatter the image of him, alive and well. He’s talking on the phone and hasn’t seen her yet. She only catches snippets of what he’s saying as he walks closer, eyes on the ground and one hand shoved into his hair. It sounds like maybe a claims or insurance company, something about the property and its value. When he hangs up, he walks under the canopy and drops his phone on the folding table, falling into the chair. She watches, a lump forming in her throat as he leans forward, forearms on his knees, hands clenching together with his head dropped low, and Everly’s heart breaks.

She forces herself to step closer, when Moose, who she hadn’t noticed lying tethered beneath the table, picks his head up and whines plaintively, his big brown eyes meeting hers. Asim’s head snaps up, eyes finding her instantly, and time lurches forward. She rushes to him as he stands; she wants to run into his arms, but despite the relief radiating from him at seeing her, he seems unsure. Of what, she doesn’t know, but it makes her hesitate.

Everly stops in front of him instead, just under the canopy overhang, and searches his face. His beard is longer than normal, unkempt, and his hair is disheveled, likely from constantly running his hands through it. There are dark circles under his eyes, but no cuts or burns. Her eyes scan him from head to toe, searching for hidden injuries.

Finding none, she releases the breath she was holding.

“You’re okay.” She breathes out, relief flooding her veins.

Asim clears his throat, swallowing hard before replying. “I’m okay.” His voice is hoarse, and his eyes flick behind her to Moose. She turns, crouching down to see him under the table, and then gasps in shock, falling backward onto the ground.

“Oh my god," she cries. “Moose! Is he okay?! What happened?” She reaches a hand out, then pulls it back to her chest, afraid to touch him. “Asim, what happened?”

Everything is moving too fast now. Moose is lying on a bed of puppy training pee pads. His fur is patchy, and there are raw red areas of skin showing. His back left haunch is entirely bandaged, and now the tears do spill over. Sweet Moose, what happened to him?

Asim sits down on the ground next to her about a foot away, keeping his distance. She wants nothing more than to pull him close or crawl into his lap, but he’s so closed off, giving her no signals, and she doesn’t know how to read this situation.

“Asim?” Everly whispers.

He nods, resigned, and begins talking.

“Moose is okay.” Asim’s voice is scratchy and strained. “He was inside when the building caught fire, but I was able to get him out. He has some burns where something fell on him, and likely some areas his fur won’t grow back, but overall he should make a full recovery.”

Everly is so relieved to hear this, the tears resume again in earnest.

Then he tells her about the fire itself. Everly listens quietly as he tells her he lost everything in the main building, including most of his personal possessions from his living area upstairs. Luckily, the fire was contained quickly enough that it didn’t spread to any of the greenhouses, and the majority of the plants are okay.

She’s glad he’s updating her, but he isn’t telling her any of what she wants to know. Where has he been staying? Is he really okay? And, selfishly, why hasn’t he contacted her? Everly tries to put these questions aside for now, respecting the boundary he has set for the moment.

“What caused it?” she asks, and Asim visibly flinches, looking away from her. Everly pulls back, confused by his reaction.

“The wiring," he mutters.

“The… wiring?”

“It was an electrical fire. I’ve been working on replacing large sections of the wiring, parts were damaged and faulty. The original contractor cut corners and I was fixing it, but I didn’t get it all done when I needed to. It should have been done months ago. I guess it’s too late now…” Asim trails off, palming the back of his neck and looking over the ruins of his business and home.

Faulty wiring.

The blood drains from Everly’s face. Her head swims for a moment, the sudden lack of blood and shock of her realization making her dizzy. This is why he hasn’t been talking to her, because it is her fault. She’s been taking all of his time, and he tried to tell her he had work to do, but she didn’t realize it was so serious. Truthfully, she didn’t even give it a second thought. Guilt suffocates her, the reality of their situation drowning her in shame.

He said months ago—that must have been what he was buying at the hardware store the day they ran into each other. The pieces fall into place and her heart begins to bruise, her chest curling in on itself. Asim cancelled on her to work on it, and she didn’t ever ask if it was done or if he had more he needed to fix. Everly prioritized herself and her stupid terrace and then had the audacity to demand a date, as if she hadn’t already consumed enough of his time. She just took and took and took. She took all of him, and now he has paid the price.

Everly pulls herself up on shaking legs. No wonder he didn’t reach out to her, it all makes sense now. She can hardly see from the tears blurring her eyes, and swiping them away doesn’t help. They just fall faster.

She starts to back away, and Asim looks up at her, still seated on the ground next to Moose. His eyes are haunted, the dark shadows ringing them piercing her soul, tension lining his body. He looks exhausted. Everly’s eyes flick between him and Moose, and somehow, she hurts even more. She not only destroyed Asim’s life, his entire livelihood, but she put both him and his dog in danger, and Moose is suffering massively because of it.

“I’m sorry,” she manages to whisper the words, clenching the sobs inside her chest so they don’t escape. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Then she turns, and flees.

~~ ~

She only makes it as far as her car. Everly slumps into the driver’s seat, fumbles her keys as she tries to insert them into the ignition, vaguely hears them drop somewhere by her feet. She can’t drive like this anyways; she can hardly see through her blurry and swollen eyes.

Pulling her feet up onto the seat, Everly hugs her knees to her chest and hides her face in them. A few moments later, the passenger door opens and she has no doubt who it is. Asim drops heavily into the seat next to her, folding his large frame into her car. They don’t speak for minutes that feel like hours, and Everly hates this silence. It’s always been comfortable quiet between them, but this one is deafening.

Finally, Asim speaks. “I can’t let you go.”

He pauses and Everly holds her breath, keeping her eyes averted. In her periphery, he rubs his throat with his hand before he swallows hard and continues.

“I tried, I really did, but now that you’re here, I can’t. I can’t let you go, and for that I’m the one who is sorry.”

Everly blinks rapidly to clear her tears, then she turns her head on her folded arms, focusing on his chest because she can’t bear to see the hurt that is sure to be looking back at her from his eyes.

“I don’t blame you for trying," she says. “I would have tried to get rid of me too.” Everly picks her head up and looks around, staring again at the scorched rubble in front of them, then looking toward poor Moose lying uncomfortably under the table in the shade. “This is all my fault. I’ve cost you everything, and if you want me to go, I will. I understand.”

“Wait.” Asim’s brows furrow and he shakes his head, clears his throat. “None of this is your fault, Everly.”

He uses her full name, and it catches her attention. He rarely uses her full name since he started shortening it. She’s already shaking her head in response to his statement though.

“No, it is. If I hadn’t taken so much of your time, if I hadn’t insisted on going out on that date, or made you spend all of your free time with me," she says. “You even told me you needed to fix the wiring and I didn’t think any further about it. I should have asked. I should have given you the space you needed, but I didn’t. I took everything from you.”

Her eyes fill with tears again and she turns her face away from him so he won’t see.

Of course, Asim doesn’t allow her to hide. He adjusts in his seat, angling himself toward her, and gently turns her face back to his.

“You didn’t ask, because I didn’t tell you. You didn’t know it was a bigger deal, because I hid it. I chose to spend my time with you, instead of on my responsibilities. I have always had a never ending to-do list for the shop, and I minimized this one all on my own.”

Asim’s green eyes hold her captive.

“I was fully aware of the choices I was making, Ever. I’m an adult, and the responsibility for my actions falls on me, and me alone. I won’t allow you to take any accountability for one tiny speck of this, do you understand?”

Everly nods, but he sees right through her agreement. Pinching his lips, he clenches his hands on his thighs and silence drenches them again.

“You probably have questions," he finally says.

“Are you okay?”

His eyebrows go up, apparently not expecting that one.

“I am. I needed some extra oxygen after I went in to get Moose, but nothing lasting or serious. Just some minor issues with my lungs and voice, as you can tell.”

“What about… mentally?” she asks.

Asim sighs, looking lost for a moment before he swipes a hand down his face. “That is going to take some time, I suppose.”

Everly nods silently.

They both look out the front window, absorbing the desolate view through heavy eyes. Everly doesn’t want to see it anymore, so she looks down at her hands instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out.” Asim’s voice is quiet and rough in the stillness between them.

“Why didn’t you? ”

Her eyes flick to him before her gaze returns to her hands. She isn’t sure she wants the answer to that question, but it’s been hammering to be let out anyways.

“I… I didn’t want to put you in danger.” He shakes his head, trying to sort out his thoughts. “When it happened, you were the first person I thought of, but I didn’t even have time to text or call. I skipped the ambulance because I had to take Moose to the emergency vet, and then when he was stabilized I had to get myself checked out. Lungs and all that.” He waves his hand dismissively, but Everly can tell his voice is going to cut out soon. She reaches into the backseat for a bottle of water.

“My phone died, I didn’t have a charger at first because… well.” He averts his gaze, staring unfocused out the window away from her as he takes a sip, wincing when he swallows. “By the time things started to slow down, I realized my negligence nearly destroyed everything I care about. I couldn’t stand the thought that you could have been there. At any moment when you were here, it could have happened, and you could have been seriously hurt, or worse.”

Both of his hands sweep through his hair to clasp behind his neck, his head pinched between his forearms. His throat bobs with a hard swallow before he speaks again.

“What if it happens again? What if I overlook something else and I continue to put you in danger? I can’t risk that. That’s why I stayed away. I wrote you so many messages, only to delete them. My fingers hovered over your name every day, every hour, but the horrible image of you getting caught in something like this…” he flings his hand out, gesturing to the ruins in front of them.

Asim sighs, the sound belonging to someone twice his age, then he swings his head around and meets her eyes.

“You deserve more. You deserve better than me, better than what I can offer you. You deserve the best in the world, Ever, and I’m not it.”