Primal God (The Defiant God Brotherhood #4)

Chapter 23

We’re both silent as we drive home. I feel sick, and I’m scared to death. What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he is mad? What if this is the end of us?

He reaches over, taking my hand.

“Whatever it is, minha vida , we’ll figure it out. Together.”

I squeeze his hand back. “I hope so.”

As we pull up, he gets a text from Brooks.

His car is set up to read messages, and the automated voice says, “From Brooks: Will we see the Primal God at the meeting next week?”

Dimitri presses the reply button and says, “Yes.”

The message is sent, and he glances at me. “Brooks is worried that I won’t be at the Brotherhood meeting. Even if I didn’t want to go, I have to.”

“Because you’re an Elite Member?”

“Yes.”

He parks and gets out, rounding the car to open my door.

“We’re considering voting out a member,” he says as we walk into the house.

It’s quiet, since the kids are out with Miranda. He leads me to the living room, sitting in his favorite spot. I curl up next to him, unsure of where to start.

He says, “The member in question has done some things recently that go against the Brotherhood and the new path we’re paving.”

“What kind of path?”

“One where our members have more freedom.” He looks down at me. “The Brotherhood is for life, which sounds great when one is young, but once the reality sets in, it’s not always pleasant. We’re trying to ensure that the Brotherhood continues as the world changes.”

“You said your name was given to you because of your desire to protect people, right?”

He nods. “Yes.”

“I wonder what my name would be if I were in the Brotherhood.”

He smiles. “Let’s see. Goddess of all Goddesses.”

“I’m sure that would go over well with the other women.”

“Mrs. Primal God.”

My breath hitches in my throat. “I like that one.”

“I do, too.”

I turn, so I can face him with my legs crisscrossed.

“Dimitri—”

“I also envision you as a fertility goddess.” He gestures to me. “I have a breeding kink and ever since we got together, all I can do is picture what your body would look like as you grow our child.”

“I guess a breeding kink makes sense, since you have four kids.”

Well, technically five, which I’m about to get to.

His eyes cloud over for a moment. “I wanted more kids than that. There was a time when I hoped to have every room in this house full.” He gives me a small smile. “Serafina didn’t feel the same way.”

“How did the two of you meet?”

“It was an arranged marriage, of sorts.”

My heart pounds in my chest.

“Because of the Brotherhood?”

“Yes.”

“Is that, like, common?”

“It is or used to be.” He meets my gaze. “Did you know your uncle is a member of the Brotherhood?”

My breath solidifies in my throat.

“I didn’t know it was the Brotherhood, just that it was some kind of club.” I pause. “Does that mean you know a lot about him?”

“I do.” His gaze searches mine. “Which is why I’m wondering why you haven’t told me what’s going on.”

“I’m scared.”

Saying the words doesn’t relieve the tension I’m feeling. It only reaffirms my fears.

“Scared of what, Lilith? Me?”

“More of how you’re going to react.”

He takes my hand. “I can help you fix this, but I need to know what I’m up against.”

“My uncle is forcing me to marry someone.” I moisten my lips. “I think it’s so Adam will gain membership into the Brotherhood.”

Dimitri nods. “I suspect that’s the case, too.”

“You knew?”

He dips his head again. “I knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure how you felt at first. Once I realized you didn’t want this marriage, I’ve been looking at ways to get you out of the contract.”

Hope flutters through me. “And?”

“And it’s not looking good. Wolfe knew what he was doing.”

“Oh.”

He tips my chin. “Luckily, I outrank him within the Brotherhood.”

“Does that mean you can tell him to fuck off?”

Dimitri leans forward, brushing his lips against mine. “It means I can do one better.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Did Isabetta ever tell you how she and Alessandro came to be married?”

I nod. “Yeah. He crashed her wedding, right?”

“He did.” He smiles. “An idea he got from me when I did the same thing to Serafina.”

“I don’t follow. Didn’t you just say you had an arranged marriage?”

“We did, but to other people. I met her by chance and knew I had to have her. So, I skipped my wedding and crashed hers.”

“How did you know she would marry you?”

“She was pregnant with Joao.”

My lips part. “And you were sure he was yours?”

“I would have loved him the same even if he wasn’t.”

I know he’s telling the truth, too. That’s just the type of man he is.

“So your plan is to crash my wedding with Adam?”

“Fuck no.” He shakes his head. “I’m not letting you go through that.”

“Then, I don’t follow.”

“Marry me, Lilith. Become my wife and let’s show your uncle that he doesn’t dictate what you do.”

Tears fill my eyes. I want to say yes so badly, but I don’t. Instead, I shake my head.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“There are things you don’t know about me.”

“And there are things you don’t know about me,” he counters. “We’ll figure them out together.”

“My uncle is prepared to use it over my head.”

“Even more reason why you need to tell me.” I shake my head, and he moves closer. “I’m not asking, little girl.”

“You won’t look at me the same,” I finally say. “And that will kill me.”

“Lilith.”

“Do you remember when I told you we had seen each other when I was working at the hotel?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we did more than just see each other.” I pause. “You were drunk, and I went to check on you. You pulled me into the bathroom and we…”

“We what?” His eyes widen. “Did I hurt you?”

“No! No, it was consensual. But as soon as it was over, you got sick and then said something about Serafina. I was so embarrassed that I got out of there as fast as I could and had your friends come and get you.”

“I’ve had these…dreams for the past year. One where we had sex in a bathroom.” His gaze searches mine. “How can I not remember?”

“To be fair, you were pretty drunk.”

“It’s still not an excuse. I’m sorry.”

“I found out I was pregnant,” I blurt out. “A few months after we hooked up.”

His mouth opens, but he doesn’t speak.

“I didn’t know what to do or how you would feel, so I…”

“You what?”

“So I didn’t tell you.” My throat burns. “We have a daughter, Dimitri.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s at my apartment with my friends.”

“She’s been there the entire time?”

“Yes.”

He stands. “Why didn’t you say something?”

I stand, too. “What was I supposed to say? Hi, I know you’re interviewing me for a nanny position, but by the way, we had a daughter that you don’t even remember making?”

He stares at me. “I want to see her.”

“No.”

“I’m not asking, little girl.”

“And I’m not moving until we figure this out.” I inhale deeply before saying, “My uncle knows about her. That’s what he’s holding over my head to make me marry Adam. And I’m scared to death that he’s going to ensure that this wedding happens no matter what.”

“Which is why we need to get her as soon as possible. I didn’t trust Wolfe before, but knowing this…” He shakes his head. “We need to get her and bring her home, Lilith.”

My damn breath catches in my throat.

“Home?”

“Yes, home.”

“So you’re not mad at me?”

“Oh, I’m plenty mad, little girl.” He tips my chin. “I also know you did what you had to do to keep our baby safe. But now it’s my turn to keep both of you safe. Understand?”

My eyes water as I nod. “Yes.”

“Good. Now, let’s go.”

We make our way to my SUV and pull out of the driveway. I send Cecely a text as we drive.

Cecely

I told him. We’re on our way to get her.

How’d he take it?

Surprisingly well.

Good. See you soon!

I say to Dimitri, “I was letting my roommate, Cecely, know that we’re on the way.”

“Tell me about our daughter, minha vida .”

“She looks a lot like Isadora,” I say with a smile. “She’s almost seven months old now.” I pause, needing him to know this part. “I’ve missed her like crazy.”

His hand covers mine. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy being away from her.”

We ride in silence. The drive feels like it takes forever, but I know it’s just because I can’t wait to see my baby. At the apartment complex, I tell Dimitri where to park. I can tell he’s judging the dated building, but he says nothing. I lead him up the stairs, to the second floor, coming to a stop at my door.

Using my key, I unlock the door and step inside, letting Dimitri follow before I close and lock the door. He looks around the tiny living room and kitchen, again remaining silent.

Cecely calls out, “We’re in here, Momma.”

I lead the way to my bedroom where Cecely stands holding Raquel.

“Hi baby. Momma missed you.”

Raquel reaches out for me and says, “Mama.”

I immediately burst into tears.

Cecely puts an arm around me and says, “Hey, it’s okay. This is the first time she’s said it.”

I knew she was mimicking certain sounds, but knowing I almost missed her first word guts me. What in the actual hell was I thinking? I should have never left her!

Dimitri’s arm goes around my other side and he says, “It looks like our girl missed you.”

I wipe at my eyes and take Raquel from Cecely, holding her close.

“I missed her, too. So freaking much.”

“I know, minha vida , but we’re all together now.”

Cecely says, “I’ll give y’all a moment to yourself.”

She leaves as I turn toward Dimitri.

“This is Raquel.”

His gaze snaps to mine. “Did you know Raquel was my mother’s name?”

I nod. “Yeah. It seemed fitting.”

“Can I…can I hold her?”

“Of course.”

I hand over Raquel, who immediately snuggles against Dimitri while touching his beard. The sight of him holding his daughter makes me cry again. Dimitri pulls me close, hugging both of us.

“Thank you, minha vida. ”

“For what?”

“For trusting me enough to tell me about our daughter.”

“I’m sorry it took so long.”

“None of that. We only look forward from here. Understand?” His voice is thick with emotion, making his accent more noticeable.

I nod. “I understand.”

“Good. Now, pack up anything you wish to take to the house.”

I look at him in confusion.

He says, “You and our daughter are moving in. Permanently.”

The door opens and Cecely and Harvey stand there, smiles on their faces.

Harvey says, “It just so happens that I have some extra boxes. I’ll go grab them.”

Cecely goes to my closet. “Let’s do this.”

The guys get to work, carrying Raquel’s furniture into the living room. I think I hear Dimitri saying a mover will come and pick everything up, which is a relief. It was terrible getting everything up the stairs the first time around.

My mind races as Cecely and I pack clothes into a box. This feels too good to be true. Like, how can Dimitri be okay with all of this? I glance out at Dimitri, who’s sitting on the bed, talking to our daughter. What’s going to happen when the excitement wears off and he realizes he’s still mad at me?

Cecely touches my arm. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened. That man out there is smitten with his daughter, and that’s only a fraction of what he feels for you.”

“Me?” I laugh. “How do you know that?”

“I saw the way he watched you when you walked in, friend. He loves you.”

My chest is tight. God, I wish it was true, but I just don’t see how this is going to work. I mean?—

“You’re doing it again.” She bumps her shoulder into mine. “Embrace it.”

“What?”

“Embrace the moment. You’ve lived in the past, with your sadness, for far too long.” She gestures to herself. “Harvey and I will be here if things don’t work out. But I have a feeling they just might.”

I wipe at my eyes with my good hand. “Thanks.”

“Now, let’s get the rest of this closet packed. I see some shoes I want.”

I’m laughing as we get back to work.

Cecely said I should embrace it.

So that’s what I’m going to do.