Primal Kill (The Order of Vampires #5)
Chapter 39
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CHAPTER 39
W armth.
Heat.
Gracie’s mind stirred, and she frowned.
“I’ve got you…”
The gentle voice rumbled like low, non-threatening thunder rolling in. Calloused fingers traced down her cheek, delicately awakening her conscious mind. Gracie turned her face into the soft touch and moaned. Then, her senses came alive, and she bolted upright, body tense, eyes wide, instincts on full alert.
“Easy.”
Her back pressed into a wall, and her palms flattened to the wooden headboard as her eyes skipped about the unfamiliar room. “Where are we?”
Amber light sparred with dark shadows as a small, open fire burned in the hearth at his back.
Him .
Her heart raced.
She knew him from the cave but also recognized him as her mate. The sentiment that word carried her entire life evaded her now. She did not know this creature and while part of her subconscious accepted him, her mind did not. She’d always assumed the heart would be the first to sway, but all of those sentiments abandoned her in the face of the unknown.
“You fainted.” He held up his palms in a gesture of peace.
The pads of his fingertips and hands showed roughened prints, the kind her father used to get from working in the field that quickly healed thanks to their immortal blood.
More evidence that he was different.
A stranger.
He studied her in the dim lighting, shadowed by the flickering flames that danced from the hearth. He likely sensed she was scared and she suspected he didn’t want to further startle her.
Her gaze never left him for more than a split second as she noted the windows and doors of the primitive cabin. She could leave if she wanted. Immortals were the fastest species on earth and said to be the strongest.
Or where they? She knew nothing of his breed or the fact that such creatures even existed.
“Is this your home?”
“No.” He took a slow step but nothing more. “We’ve been traveling for some time, min p?rla. ”
“My name is Grace. ”
“Grace,” he amended.
She flinched, her hand rushing to her chest as her heart quickened at the sound of her name on his tongue.
“You are safe with me, Grace.” He spoke slowly, placing a heavily accented R in her name that rolled seductively into the soft hissing C.
The fire crackled in the stone hearth where clothes draped over a chair. She gasped and covered her body, dressed only in her underclothes.
“You removed my clothes!” She bunched the thin chemise, pulling it away from her defined curves as she crossed an arm over her chest like a shield. Her cheeks burned as she considered his audacity. Had he acted honorably while she’d slept? She didn’t know him well enough to trust his words.
“There was rain. I had limited supplies to cover you. As soon as I found shelter, I wanted to get you warm. Your clothing was drenched.”
The musty trace of rain on her skin confirmed his story. He possibly told the truth. “If not your home, what is this place?”
“It’s a rental.” When she looked confused, he said, “An Air BnB.”
Her frown deepened. “Air BnB?”
He laughed at her ignorance. “It’s ours for the night—or longer if we need. I live quite far from here.” He took a step closer and her back pressed firmly into the wall. “You needn’t be shy with me, Grace. Now that you’re rested and we have privacy, we should … get to know one another. Before we return to the others.”
“The others?”
“My pack brothers. They’re very eager to meet you.”
He was a family man. That comforted her. Family was important.
“My family will also want to meet you.” She needed to get a letter off to her sister. The Bishop would inform Larissa and the rest of her family, but Grace wanted to prepare them for the unexpected details of her calling.
Her stare drifted to the rumpled bed, then darted to the floor. Aside from a small wooden table, a few simple chairs, and the hearth, the bed dominated the room.
Her chest tightened as her mediocre understanding of matings formed a deformed picture in her mind. Flashes of hidden secrets she’d unintentionally lifted from others flickered rapidly through her memory.
Mouths, moans, flesh, lips, teeth, legs… The erotic onslaught of all she knew collided into a knot of unknowns that choked the air from her lungs. “What will happen here?”
He took another step and her ribs cinched tighter making it near impossible to breathe. “We’ll talk. Get to know one another.”
Her gaze skated to the bed and back to him. He traced her path with his own eyes.
“You needn’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you, Grace. ”
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. There was supposed to be time for her to consult with her mother and sister. Conversations had been put off because she’d had no symptoms. No warning.
“Perhaps if you tell me what you’re thinking, I can help you make sense of things.”
He couldn’t read her. How was that possible?
She reached for his mind and found utter silence. Another unexpected outcome, though a peaceful one. She let down her guard and the steady tension that always left her neck in knots loosened.
She knew what happened between mates. Her extrasensory gifts cursed her with an extremely sensitive telepathic mind. She’d suffered countless unwanted images whenever in the presence of newly mated couples. They were always the most distracted and obsessive in their carnal ruminations. Whenever they failed to properly block their minds, Gracie got an unwanted show of things she’d prefer to never see.
But he was not like them. When she looked into his mind, she saw nothing but grey silence. “Our mates can read each other. They share emotions such as pleasure and pain.”
“Things will be different for us, but that is not to say those privileges will not develop with time.”
She could not smell his emotions so she could not detect his intentions. Some men reeked of arousal while others carried the dull stench of boredom. He smelled like the earth. The organic fibers of his clothes carried traces of rain, but his skin wore a unique musk she didn’t recognize. Clean and appealing, but also woodsy and masculine.
The laces of her underclothes settled over her chest as she lowered her arms. Her throat worked hard to swallow as her situation caught up with her and she realized this surreal moment was her actual reality.
Air stopped moving through her lungs, and her shoulders started to quake as she mouthed a cry for help that never formed into sound. Her hand fluttered to her throat.
“Grace?”
“I can’t…” She looked at him in utter panic and he rushed to her side. “Breathe.”
“Let me help you.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest. Heat rushed up her arm, and she tried to pull away. “Leave it.”
Holding her stare, he unhooked his belt, intentionally stripping away his weapons. The leather and metal clattered to the floor and her shoulders jumped to her ears.
“Feel my heartbeat. Breathe with me.”
Shallow gasps were all she could manage.
“You’re fine. There’s nothing to fear.”
Her stare dropped to the blade on the floor. The scent of fresh blood clung to the metal.
“Eyes up here.”
When she looked at him again, her lungs opened, and refreshing oxygen filled her chest .
“There. That’s it. Follow my breathing. Deep breath in…”
His heart beat steadily against her palm, his chest expanding as he demonstrated how he wanted her to breathe. She mimicked him, and her nerves slightly settled.
“Good girl,” he spoke softly. “Now let it out slowly.”
Together, they exhaled, their breath mingling into a delicate breeze that teased across her skin. Feeling calmer, she studied the sharp angles of his face. Unlike the smooth skin of immortal males, his chiseled jaw wore a dark layer of stubble. His eyes were dark pools of moss and his skin a flawless olive tone. The flesh of his full lips was tanned and plump, a strangely delicate feature on such a masculine face.
“Another deep breath in.”
She held his stare, matching his breathing until her racing heart slowed. A sense of safety enveloped her, and the tension in her arm relaxed.
His thumb dragged softly over the back of her hand where he held it to his broadly muscled chest. “That’s it, min p?rla. ” His other hand reached for her face. Calloused fingers trailed over her cheek, tucking a loose hair behind her ear.
Her hand reached for her head, only to find her braids undone. “You took down my hair.” No one, save her mother, had ever touched her hair.
His full lips firmed. “For your comfort. I took no other liberties. I only removed the pins when I removed your wet clothes.”
Her gaze dropped as heat rushed to her face. He caught her chin, forcing her to keep her eyes on him.
In that moment, he saw not only her fear but her ignorance. Shame for being so utterly unprepared sent tears rushing to her eyes. Did he expect her to do something?
Humiliation burned her face. “I don’t know what you want.”
“Isn’t it clear? I’ve come all this way to find you. I merely want what is mine .”
His claim settled around her like an invisible harness. He was taking her in. Gentling her. Building a foundation of trust and safety.
Her body shook, but she did not fight his closeness.
“I’ve come a long way to find you, Grace. I want to be patient with you, but…” The soft touch of his fingers trailed along her jaw. “There is the matter of…” His touch dropped away. “Business.”
She frowned and pulled her hand away. “Business? Do you mean the bonding?”
“Yes. Now that I’ve found you, I find there to be…” He cleared his throat. “An urgent need inside of me that demands I claim you.”
He moved quickly when she sprung to the corner, caging her in with his hulking body, casting shadows that further emphasized the differences in their size .
Too many emotions tumbled through her at once. All mates needed to consummate their calling with a bonding, and she knew what that meant. A blood exchange, intercourse, and then the mating was complete. But he was not like her or the other males she knew, so she had no idea what the expectations were.
“I don’t know what you want.”
He frowned, his long, hard body a distraction every time it brushed against hers. “Must I spell it out?”
“Must you stand so close?”
He chuckled. “No, but I want to.” If it were possible, he shifted even closer and her breath hitched when the long length of his arousal pressed into her, hard like the hilt of a tool.
Woefully ignorant, her hands flattened on the wall at her back. “I’ve never done this before.”
A slow grin curved his mouth as he shut his eyes and breathed in her scent. “Well…” He couldn’t hide his male satisfaction. “I’m going to assume you were saving yourself for me.”
The patch of smooth flesh showing from the open collar of his shirt bore a fresh scar, barely healed. She averted her gaze, looking lower where the long bulge formed in his pants. “You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing.”
It wasn’t nothing . She could scent the dried blood and his sweat from battle. “How did you know how to kill that thing in that cave?”
“I know many things. For instance, I know you’re nervous, maybe a little afraid, but you have nothing to fear, min p?rla. Your mate is finally here and the long wait ends tonight.” He lowered his mouth and she escaped his hold, darting to the other side of the room.
“Wait!”
He turned and laughed. “You’re quite fast. And skittish?”
She was not skittish. She simply saw no need to rush. Breathing heavily again, she glanced at the table. “We should talk first.”
“What would you like to know?” he navigated the furniture without ever taking his stare off of her as he closed in.
She mirrored his steps by circling the table, always keeping a furnishing between them. “You said you have brothers. What are their names?”
“Emmerich.” He dragged a wooden chair over the planked floor, moving it out of his way. “Atticus.” The shadow of his large body fell over her, and she danced backward, walking herself right into a corner. “Evander.” He planted his hands on either side of her and pressed his nose to her neck, drawing in a deep, audible breath. “My gods, you smell incredible.”
Her eyes widened when the bulge at his crotch intentionally pressed into her. “D-Darius…”
“Mmm, I like the way you say my name.” His fingers went to the laces of her chemise, pulling the ribbon free. “Your shyness is more tempting than I expected. ”
The ribbon slipped free of her collar and fell to the floor. The fabric gaped open.
“So supple.” He dragged a knuckle over the swell of her breast, touching her like no male had ever dared to touch her before. “The pleasure will please you, Grace. You must trust me on that.”
She gasped as he cupped her possessively. “You’re very forward.”
“Certain things are inevitable, min p?rla .” With his other hand, he reached for her hip, his palm sliding behind her possessively. “The sooner we complete the bond, the less you will have to fear.”
She caught his wrist, her grip firm and unbreakable.
The corner of his mouth kicked up as the dark moss of his eyes was swallowed by black. “Are you denying me?”
Was she?
She wasn’t a defenseless weakling. She could fight him off and outrun him. But he was her mate. Her gaze turned away in confusion. She felt her soul reaching for his as much as his physical body gravitated toward hers. The instinct was there, but her knowledge was lacking.
“I know what happens,” she said. “But I do not know how it begins.”
“I’ll show you.”
He traced her collarbone toward her shoulder, nudging the collar of her chemise down her arm. She grabbed her chest before he fully exposed her.
“For this to happen, I’ll need to see all of you.”
She wasn’t used to being this exposed, but when he pulled her hand away from her chest, she didn’t defy him.
Her chemise dragged down her shoulders and gathered at her arms, exposing her breasts to the cool air. Her nipples puckered and darkened under his intense stare.
“Once I’ve seen all of you, I’ll kiss you. Here.” His thumb dragged over her plump lower lip. “And here.” His other hand cupped her breast possessively, plumping her flesh and massaging softly. “And here.”
She whimpered as he cupped her sex.
He added pressure, wedging his hand between her clamped thighs where the material of her underclothes gathered. “There isn’t any part of you that will be hidden from me, Grace. So there is no need for modesty between us. As mates, we are one. My body will act as your shield, my word as my pledge to protect you in all things.”
Her body was made to glorify God’s holy plan, in modesty and obedience. She had been taught to act in good stewardship to her mate, and surrender herself, trusting him to lead and protect her always.
According to The Order, the female body was a vessel created to redeem her mate’s soul. She now had a duty to uphold. And once done, it could never be undone.
“I will not deny you.” Her words shook.
She always imagined this intimate moment to be intense, but she’d assumed the wanting would guide her. There was no wanting now, only apprehension.
“That pleases me.” He moved quickly, tugging her chemise lower and letting it fall to the floor. He glanced down at her body and exhaled. “Yes, I’m v ery pleased.”
A sense of caution spiked inside of her as his earthy musk intensified. He reached for his pants but she caught his wrist. “Wait.”
His eyes met hers in question and she swallowed.
“Will it hurt?”
His expression softened and he used his free hand to cup her cheek. “I’ll always do everything in my power to save you pain, min p?rla .” His hand released the button of his pants, but then stopped, showing her he was in no rush. “I’m only making myself more comfortable.”
She glanced down and quickly away. His clothing had certainly become more restrictive than it had been a moment ago. She didn’t understand how something so hard and swollen could fit inside of her without pain.
Her brow pinched when she realized he hadn’t exactly answered her question. He only said if there was any way to protect her from pain that he would .
This was discomforting news.
“There’s no need to worry, Grace. I’ll prepare your body, so there is little discomfort. But you have to let me touch you in order for that to happen.”
She loosened her grip and he turned his hand, palm open in a show of gentleness. She didn’t want it to hurt, so she had no choice but to trust him. When she released his wrist, he smiled.
“Very good, min p?rla. You’re very brave, and I appreciate your trust.”
She closed her eyes and forced her hands to her side, presenting herself to him. First, he grazed her hips, sending chills over her belly and down her spine. Then he cupped her breasts as if measuring their weight in his large, calloused hands. Her nipples puckered as he dragged his thumb over the beaded tip and pinched.
“Ah,” she gasped as pleasure and a strange awareness shot through her. It was not painful, but it also wasn’t gentle. His touch traced down her spine, along the crease of her backside and she whimpered.
“Soften your knees.” His voice whispered against her ear, gentle yet confident, making it easy to obey.
The moment her stance loosened, his hand pressed between her bare thighs, dragging up, upward until he cupped her possessively. This time there was no barrier of clothing between them.
“You’re already preparing for me.” His finger parted her delicate folds, pressing inside her slick heat. Her breath hitched at the strange intrusion. She caught his shoulder for balance as he gently explored.
Her knees trembled. “Perhaps the bed...”
He paused and glanced over his shoulder. His touch disappeared. “You’re right.”
Taking her by the hand, he towed her toward the bed. She trembled like a leaf, but wanted to push past her fear.
There was no greater sacrament than the union of souls expressed between mates. She wanted to please him more than she desired any personal pleasure from the act. As the male, he would be the head of the household, and as the female, it was her duty to act as the heart.
Together, their hands would lift each other’s sorrows. Her body would welcome his seed. And if God was pleased, He would bless them with many children. She found comfort and strength in such teachings, trusting God’s plan to guide her so that she may fulfill her true purpose.
Glancing down at the bed, fully aware of her naked body as he watched her—still clothed—she took a deep breath. Lifting her chin, she faced him.
“I offer my body and full compliance so that your duty may be done.”
He chuckled, the sound hitting like a wave of self-conscious doubt . “Grace, it is my duty but also my pleasure. ”
Was he mocking her? Her guard went up, but he caught her hand before she could turn away.
“My pleasure and yours.”
“I don’t like when you laugh at me,” she told him. “I’ve never done this before.”
“I’m sorry. Your words took me off guard.” He smiled, but resisted the urge to laugh again. “I want a mate who thinks for herself and comes to my bed out of desire, not merely a sense of duty.”
She scowled. “I’m quite capable of forming my own opinions, and I happen to have a lot of them.”
“Good. I look forward to hearing them.”
Her eyes narrowed at the hint of amusement in his eyes. “Why are you smirking?”
“I’m happy. I’ve waited a long time for this. What happens in this bed tonight… Don’t cheapen it by labeling it like some burden. It is a blessing. Yes, we were called here by destiny, but I stand here by choice, not because of duty.” He pulled her closer. “You’re breathtaking.”
Vanity was a form of pride she knew little about. “While your sentiment is flattering, it’s also distracting.”
This time his laughter escaped. “Sorry. Sorry.” He glanced away and composed himself. “Sometimes distraction is good. What am I distracting you from? Your nerves? Your shyness? Your sense of obligation? If that’s the case, then bring on the distractions.”
“ I have a duty to serve you, do I not? I do not want to cloud my judgement with unnecessary emotions. This is a special night.”
“Yes, it is a special night, which is exactly why I don’t care about anything anyone else has told you. Here, in this cabin, it’s only you and me that matter. I want to learn you, Grace, not control you.”
“I have nothing to teach in this department. I’m ignorant.”
He withdrew his touch and she swayed in confusion, bereft of his nearness the moment he stepped away. Could he not understand how difficult this might be for a female?
When he paced to the hearth and gripped the mantle, she asked, “Did I say something to disappoint you?”
He forked his fingers through his hair. “You did not disappoint me, no.”
“But I’ve upset you?” She was making a mess of things.
“No, you did not upset me either.”
“Then what? I told you I have no experience with these things. I’ve only been kissed?—”
“Who kissed you?” His sharp stare pinned her in place, a dark, predatory gleam swirling in the black of his eyes.
Her voice abandoned her under the weight of fear. She backed up, but there was nowhere to go. When the bed hit her knees, she steadied herself but he was there, moving faster than she realized he could.
“Is there something you need to tell me?” He towered over her, forcing her to arch backward until her shoulders touched the pillows. Their mouths were a mere inch apart.
She shook her head nervously, not trusting the territorial glare in his eyes. “N-no.”
“I assumed you were innocent. Was I wrong?”
“No. You were correct.” He didn’t move, but the weight of his penetrating stare bore so heavily into her that she eased back until she lie stiffly beneath him on the bed.
His calloused fingers traced her lips. “Who kissed you, Grace?”
“It was nothing. A childish whim.”
“When?”
“A long time ago,” she lied.
His green eyes narrowed. “You’re sure?”
Nodding, she blocked her mind for safe measure. “It meant nothing.” Desperate to undo whatever she’d done, she reached for his hand with trembling fingers. “You’re the only one who matters... D-Darius.”
He studied her through a veil of suspicion that wasn’t between them moments ago. A crease formed between his brows. “I find it inconvenient that we cannot see into each other’s minds.”
She found it relieving. “We will learn to trust each other.”
He backed off and the chill of the room made her painfully aware that she was naked. Sitting up, she pulled her dark hair over her shoulders like a thin shelter. Though he didn’t appear agitated, he did seem less sure of himself .
“You can trust me, Darius. I am yours.”
“Mine…” he said the word with slow consideration, then his stare snapped to hers. “Show me how you were kissed.”
Her heart plummeted. “What do you mean?”
She couldn’t. She didn’t want to deceive him, and she wanted to please him, but some part of her needed to protect her memories. They were all she had left of Dane. All there would ever be.
He closed the distance and pulled her to her feet. “Show me.”
With labored breath, he stared down at her with pure determination. If she challenged him now, it would demean something later. She was sure of it. He needed to feel powerful. Denying him would cause the opposite.
Licking her lips, she said, “You will have to lean down.”
He did, but kept his hands locked at his side. “Go ahead.”
Rising on her toes, she pressed her mouth to the corner of his, brushing her lips softly over his, then pulling away. The spark of electricity that snapped between them was unexpected, but he seemed to feel it, too. She’d downplayed the kiss on purpose, but even for such a prudent gesture, there seemed an incredible amount of heat between them.
She lowered her gaze and looked away. “It was something like that.”
He chuckled, the easy sound now welcomed after having a glimpse of his temper. “It seems I lost my temper for nothing. That was hardly a kiss.” He cupped her cheeks, angling her face upward so she could see his smile. “You’re very innocent,” he whispered, voice once again pleased. His thumb traced her lower lip. “I wasn’t expecting that, but I am glad it was nothing more.”
“I told you I was inexperienced.”
His grin stretched as promise danced in his green eyes. “Tomorrow, you won’t be able to make such a claim.”
Heat tugged low in her belly. He stirred a mixture of desire and fear in her that left no room for much else.
His hands lowered, loosely framing her neck. The contrast of his great strength and her delicate build was abundantly clear. Understanding passed between them. She might be faster, but he was bigger and could snap her like a twig.
“Let me show you what a real kiss is.” His mouth lowered to hers before she could respond and her eyes widened.
She had no time to prepare as his tongue swept past her lips and he swallowed her startled moan. It was an unmistakable claim. He yanked her hips forward, slamming her body against his hard length, forcing her to feel the steel press of his arousal.
The kiss rapidly changed, taking over her senses and far surpassing anything she’d ever experienced with Dane. His hands were everywhere. Gripping her breasts and pinching in ways that sent little gasps from her mouth into his. He grabbed her backside, handling her with absolute entitlement as his hands pulled her flesh and his fingers explored private parts of her no one had dared to touch.
He swept her into his arms before she knew what was happening and deposited her back on the bed. “That’s one.”
“One?”
“One way I will kiss you.”
The mattress dipped under his weight as he climbed over her. His nose dragged slowly along the side of her throat as he breathed her in. His teeth scraped below her jaw, and she gasped when his tongue licked a sensitive spot.
“I can also kiss you here.” His breath teased the shell of her ear as he bit the lobe and tugged the fleshy edge. “Or here.”
Startled by how much pleasure that little nibble caused, she gasped in surprise.
“And here.” He cupped her breast, dragging his thumb over the turgid tip as his chin scraped past her collarbone. The stubble at his jaw abraded her delicate skin and sent chills through her body. She instinctively arched into his warmth and his touch turned even more possessive. “Is that what you want, min p?rla ?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Sweet, innocent Grace, let’s remedy that.”
His head lowered, his hair falling forward and teasing her flesh as wet heat engulfed her nipple. Pressure tightened in her belly as he suckled the tip and groaned. That sound overwhelmed her senses and loosened a thousand knots of tension. Instinct took over and she reached for his shoulders, her hands sliding over his muscled back.
“Ah,” she gasped as he plumped her breasts and moved to the other nipple. She’d seen mothers nursing and animals feeding, but never knew females could feel such pleasure from a male this way.
Warm breath shifted to wet heat. He moved to the other and cool air increased her sensitivity. The pressure inside of her built, bordering on pain, as he continued to suckle and pull. When he finally released her, the sensitive tips of her breasts were hard and swollen. Her breasts rosy from the chafe of his stubble.
He looked at her, his dark lashes low and his grin full of masculine pride, then he lowered his head and licked her, never taking his stare off her face. His knee nudged her legs apart and the heavy weight of his arousal pressed against her. He was still clothed, but she sensed he wished he wasn’t. He ground his body against hers, pressing into her in a way that rocked her into the bed and forced her legs to open.
Although his pants formed a barrier between them, the strain of his cock was pronounced enough that there was little mystery to what he wanted next. She squirmed beneath him, a sense of need building, which she had no idea how to relieve.
He caught her hand and pressed it to the bulge. “Feel what you do to me. ”
Her eyes widened. Her fingers could hardly close around his girth, regardless of the way he was compressed in his clothes. “Does it hurt you?”
“No, but it makes it more difficult to take my time. And I want to take my time with you, Grace.”
“I want that too.” Or at least she thought she did. “What can I do to make things less difficult?”
He laughed. “If you touch me, it will only speed things up.”
“Oh.” She let go of him. “Then why did you put my hand on you?”
“To show you where you will kiss me.” He thrust his hips and groaned. “But first, I want to be inside of you. I want that more than I want to live past dawn.”
She could feel his wanting as much as she felt his struggle with restraint. He seemed to be more pained than in any sort of pleasure. “We don’t have to wait?—”
He kissed her mouth, his tongue gliding over hers possessively as his hand tangled in her hair, silencing her words. She surrendered to his lead as he crushed his body against her, grinding his hard length against her sex with enough promise to make the bed creak.
When he broke away, he was panting. His hungry stare traveled down her body as if he wanted to devour every inch of her. She fought the urge to cover herself, unsure what he intended .
“You’re gorgeous.”
His fingers trailed over her breasts, caressing the gentle slopes and teasing lower around her belly button. She instinctively sucked in a breath when his hand closed over hers.
“No.” He pulled her fingers away. “Don’t ever hide yourself from me.” He trailed his touch between her legs, gliding back and forth until he parted her folds. “Open yourself to me.”
Heaviness gathered at her core as she slowly forced her knees to widen.
“More.”
Her face heated as he pressed his finger deeper. The intrusive pressure wasn’t painful but it certainly wasn’t anything she’d experienced before. Gentle strokes probed in and out as arousal slickened his knuckles. He penetrated her with careful progress, never pushing too hard or too fast. Although he was deep, his touch was incredibly gentle and controlled.
“This is where my body will connect with yours.” He sank his touch deeper and held, the bone of his knuckle kissing her pelvis. “My cock will be much thicker, so I’ll stretch you first to assure there is little pain. You want me to show you pleasure, right?”
With a shaky breath, she nodded, her deepest desire not to disappoint him in any way.
“Good.” The pressure between her legs expanded as he fit another finger inside of her. “Does that hurt you? ”
“No. I just feel…pressure. Heaviness. And hot.”
He grinned. “Hot is good.”
His touch withdrew only to surge forward again. He created a slow rhythm that built the way a bellows feeds a flame. Heat burned her skin the longer he touched, teasing a sensitive spot that caused her to stiffen.
He chuckled. “Did you feel something you liked?”
He grazed the spot again, and she gasped.
“There’s one more kiss I want to show you.” He trail his mouth down her stomach, and his mouth opened over that sensitive spot, and the pressure inside of her released like a cloud letting go of rain.
His finger continued to stroke and tease, nudging deeper but never sharply. A gentle haze softened the air around them as he kissed and nibbled her, every slow lick causing her to blush fiercely, but the pleasure was too great to ask him to stop. His lips closed over her and moaned as if she tasted sweeter than honeyed wine.
She sensed he’d reached a sort of barrier. “A bit of pain is a small price for the pleasure we’ll experience tonight when we bond.”
“I’m sorry?”
“So am I. This part will sting.”
“What?” She gasped as the gentle teasing sharpened into something unpleasant, that thin barrier she’d sensed tearing away.
“Drink.” His wrist was at her mouth the moment she tried to scoot away, and her fangs instinctively punctured the skin. Rich, earthy blood flooded her mouth and the pain subsided as her body rapidly healed from the slight injury.
He groaned and pressed his wrist tighter as his body caressing her everywhere they touched. “Keep drinking.”
His head lowered and his mouth returned to kissing her intimately between her legs. The pain was now only a memory and when he thrust his fingers inside of her, her body was open to him in ways it wasn’t before.
She drank hungrily, swallowing down his blood as she became accustomed to its robust flavor. The wet slide of his tongue skating over her flesh, teasing until she eagerly stretched and arched into him. She greedily cradled his wrist to her mouth, taking everything he offered as if drunk on lust and gluttony.
“That’s it, min p?rla, take all that you need from me.” He pushed her thighs wider, making room for his broad shoulders.
Of all the kisses he’d shown her, this one was by far her favorite. He was very skilled and knew what touches felt nice and where she sensed the most pleasure.
A divot formed between her brow as she considered how he knew such things, but before she could dwell on such curiosities, he altered his touch and she moaned deeply, his tongue gently laving in a way that made her entire body tremble. He groaned against her, the masculine sound rich with satisfaction that made her preen with pride.
Faster, firmer, the friction built until another cloud of pleasure burst over her. She licked the bite at his wrist, and gasped, her breath panting as wave after wave of pleasure rushed over her.
“I think you’re ready now.”
“How can you tell?”
“Feel,” he said, pulling her fingers between her legs. He slipped his finger inside of her effortlessly. Then another. Their entwined touch wet with arousal.
“ Ah,” she gasped as he stretched her channel, to distracted by the pleasure to mind the pressure. Her hand fell away as he pressed his fingers deeper, folding his hand to fit all four.
A low chuckle escaped his throat. “Deep breath, min p?rla. ”
She held his stare, breathing in. The pressure became more than she could bear. “I can’t.”
“You can. Think of everything your body can do, Grace. It was designed to bear children. I promise you can tolerate so much more than this.”
She gripped the bedding. There was no pain, only pressure, but it was a lot to bear. Her desire to please him made it tolerable, and slowly, she found the pleasure again.
“Almost there.” He stretched her some more, until she could hardly move under the intrusion. “That’s it, min p?rla. Show me what you’re capable of. Make me proud. ”
His words bathed her in a sense of encouragement. Her body opened under his praise.
“ Ahhh,” she cried out as his hand sank into her. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. She feared she might split in two, but then she looked into his eyes and saw his absolute possession of her, his pride and satisfaction, and tears rushed to her eyes as she gasped out a sigh of relief.
“Beautiful.”
The pressure disappeared as he withdrew his touch and turned away. She shivered in shock, her body still adapting to so many shifts. Her eyes closed as she caught her breath, flinching when the mattress dipped and he was above her once more.
“Easy, love. Now I show you how it’s done.”
He tugged her lower, arranging her body beneath his. The velvet-smooth weight of his cock glided over her. Gone were the barriers of clothing as the mating was about to happen.
“I promise there will be no more pain.” He aligned his body with hers, gliding his length through her folds and then nudging slowly forward. This time it was not his fingers trying to breach her. Her breath hitched at his startling girth.
“Breathe, Grace.”
She inhaled, and he nudged deeper. Pulling back, then sliding closer and closer.
“There are some things you should know, things your mother might not have prepared you for.” He caught her hand, first lacing his fingers with hers, then raising it over her head and pressing it into the pillows.
Dragging back his hips with slow, precision, he nudged deeper still. He placed her second hand above her head, beside the first, then crossed her wrists and pinned them there. He thrust forward and groaned, burying himself to the hilt, and she quickly became accustomed to the strange intrusion only to have him draw back and thrust forward again.
Each time he slowly pulled back, she feared their bodies would disconnect, but then he’d slam into her, deep and possessive, as if he wanted to mark her from the inside. Every hard advance wrenched a cry of pleasure from her throat. It gradually built as she became accustomed to the rhythm, eagerly awaiting his dominant possession.
“Shadow-wolves are different from immortals. When we mate, our bodies do something called knotting. Has anyone told you about this?”
She shook her head, finding it difficult to concentrate on his words. The weight of his body pressed into her wrists where he still held her down.
“You have to trust me, Grace. Can you do that?”
In her current predicament, she didn’t have much of a choice. “Yes.”
“Good girl.” He bent forward and rewarded her with a loving kiss that soothed her nerves. When his mouth left her lips, it traveled right to her breasts. He suckled the tips of her nipples harder than before, releasing each one with a wet pop. “You’re body’s very responsive to my touch. That pleases me.”
She preened under his praise. “I want to please you. Very much.”
“You are, min p?rla . You are.” He thrust hard, his pelvis grinding into hers as he held himself deep inside of her. “Here it comes,” he warned.
His length noticeably swelled inside of her. She inhaled sharply. She was full, pinned beneath his weight, impaled by his length, and something was locking them together. “What’s happening?”
“It’s as I told you. The knotting. Breathe through it, and your body will adjust.”
She couldn’t move. They were one. He held her completely at his mercy.
Leaning forward, he kissed her gently, breaking away as a guttural groan escaped his throat and his head tipped back. His muscular body shivered as his rigid cock pulsed inside of her.
His grip tightened on her arms as his seed filling her. He tried to thrust, but there was little give with their bodies knotted as they were so they merely rocked as one. When he pinched her nipple, all the pressure inside of her burst outward in a wash of white light.
She gasped as waves of pleasure spilled over her. He jerked her forward, claiming her mouth with a possessive kiss. She felt small and cherished, cradled in his arms and protected by his strength. Then he sagged into her, his face nuzzling into the curve of her shoulder with a satisfied sigh.
She tried to move but he stilled her efforts.
“You can’t,” he said, trailing a hand down her arm. “The knotting will last for some time, so my seed can take root.”
“We’re stuck like this?”
He chuckled. “It’s not a bad way to pass time.” His nuzzled her ear and whispered, “We’re far from finished, Grace. Maybe immortals are done in an hour, but wolves are not.” He rolled to his back and took her with him.
Every movement caused a response inside of her. They were locked together, his body swollen to the point that she felt his absolute, undeniable possession of her.
He adjusted her knees, positioning her the way one might mount a horse. His hand flattened over her soft belly just beneath her ribs. “Do you feel me here?”
She shivered, her breath slightly unsteady. “I feel you everywhere.”
“What about here?” He dragged his touch lower, strumming his thumb over the tiny bud of her sex and she gasped. He smirked. “You like when I touch you here.”
“Yes…”
He pulled her hips forward then pushed her back, so that she rocked over him. “Move like this, Grace. Can you do that for me?”
She concentrated on repeating the motion as his fingers teased her, rubbing and pressing until she was eagerly rocking into him.
“That’s it.” He bucked his hips, lifting them slightly off the bed.
She lurched forward, clutching his chest for balance.
“Yes, lean into me. I’ve got you.”
Reminded of how deeply he was embedded inside of her body, she believed he was right.
“We’re truly one, now, Grace. No one else will ever know you as intimately as I.” He continued to tease that pleasant little bud and pleasure built like a combustible flame inside of her. She closed her eyes, rocking as the building pressure consumed her.
“Let it out.” He rubbed faster, applying more pressure and she practically screamed at the sweet release.
He bucked his hips. Pulling her onto his chest and holding her tightly as he pounded upward. She surrendered to his hold, allowing him this moment to use her body as he liked so that she could process the aftershocks of pleasure. Little tingles of sensation teased her everywhere. Her knees, her spine, and even her skull. There was no single place on her body that she did not feel him.
His wild bucking eventually slowed and they simply lay together in the aftermath of so many new feelings. He brushed her tangled hair away from her face.
“You okay in there?” he teased, trying to work his way through her messy waves. She was going to have a vicious time combing through such knots.
“I’m lovely,” she purred.
The pressure had turned into decadent pain and then—nothing. Though the knotting subsided, she was at ease with him buried inside of her. Weightless and hollow, floating in the ether of some unknown plane far above the clouds but still safely in his arms.
His chuckle was expected. “Good. Then we can do it again.”
Awareness slammed into her as he toppled her onto her back, his hips rutting hard and fast as he pumped into her with relentless speed. The pleasure returned and would not abate as he pushed her higher and higher.
She was a raindrop far above the earth falling into infinity. She never wanted to land. She only wanted this…this…this endless nothingness of euphoric bliss.
Her mind went blank until only her subconscious existed amongst the rainbow of pleasant sensations beaming through her. No pain. No worry. Only pleasure and a sense of true belonging.
She was a passenger. Free of thought and clear of any pressure to make decisions. He had total control.
She smiled against his lips as he softly kissed her. It was as if they’d kissed this way a thousand times before .
She reveled in his possessive hold, comforted by his unbending claim. Her mate had finally come for her. She was his and he was hers. Together, they were all either of them would ever need. She eagerly looked forward to becoming his everything.
Body relaxed, she welcomed the sense of completeness and sighed.
My Dane…
Her eyes snapped open, and she stiffened. Darius . Her mate was Darius.
He slowly pulled his mouth away and looked down at her with dark, lustful eyes. “You’re beyond my expectations, min p?rla. ”
Her heart thumped hard, and her mouth formed a hollow hole around empty words. She failed to think of anything to say back to him, fearful the wrong words might come out.
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “How do you feel?”
Deceitful… Disloyal… Confused…
Any one of those answers would have been true, but instead of giving her mate the truth, she forced an artificial smile on her numb face and said, “I feel like I’m finally where I was always meant to be.”
“Me too.” He kissed her again, briefly, and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His gaze skated away as though he had more to tell her, but he said nothing.
She had the strangest suspicion that he hid something, something he didn’t want her to know. As someone who had always been able to overhear others' darkest thoughts, it seemed odd to have a mate who was a closed book to her. But secrets were slippery little things, and the truth always slid out eventually.
Curiosity sparred with exhaustion as Grace debated how much she wanted to know what he was hiding. Their mutual withholdings formed and invisible wall between them. Or was that hers? Her mind once again returned to Dane and guilt soured her stomach. She should not be thinking of him now, especially here, in this intimate moment with her mate.
The weight of her deceit curled around her divided heart like barbed wire, tightening with every silent breath. Guilt seeded the secrets, growing into a terrible pressure that internally pushed and pulled her heart in opposing directions. The ache of division became so all-consuming, she found it hard to swallow or breathe.
“Grace?” Noticing something was wrong, Darius framed her face and studied her, concern tightening his brow.
It was then that the finality of this moment settled in, and she knew it would always be him and never Dane. She’d said it all along but never truly felt it until right now.
Those barbed roots tightened another degree, forming a shell around her heart. She wasn’t simply keeping a secret—she was withholding her heart from the one person meant to have it.
She knew, with bone-deep certainty, there could be no going back. She could never see Dane, out of respect to her mate. It was her duty to banish him from her mind and force him out of her heart.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, faking composure she did not feel. “I was just overwhelmed by the moment.”
“That’s understandable.”
She forced a smile, but her jaw trembled. “Did you have something you wanted to tell me?”
His gaze skittered away, looking anywhere but in her eyes. She thought he would lie and say nothing. She thought this wall of secrets between them would remain two-sided. But, instead, his brow hardened, and he looked at her with hard determination.
“Actually, I do have something I need to tell you. It’s probably best I prepare you now, regarding my expectations and the pack’s.”
The End
For now…