Promises & Pen Names (The Riley Siblings #1)

12. Blake

Chapter Twelve

BLAKE

I ’ve written about guys who royally fuck up their shot at a happy ending.

Detailed all the ways the lovesick schmuck spirals until he has an epiphany and realizes he can’t live without his heroine before he devises some epic grand gesture of love to win her over with promises of a HEA, then actually follows through.

Never once in almost seven years of writing did I imagine I’d be living that as a very real state of existence. Nor would I have expected it to be ass fucking backwards like this.

Meet the girl of my dreams? Yep, did that a long time ago.

Convince her to come to Florida and sweep her off her feet once I found her again? Was pretty sure I did that.

Fall totally head over heels in love with her for a second time and start planning forever? Definitely did that.

Decide to tell her I’m in love with her when I take her back to the airport, surprise her with the ticket I bought for two days after she leaves so I can spend more time with her in Georgia while we figure out the next step? Big fat nope .

That was my plan, though .

I was going to take Sid to the airport, confess my feelings then show her my flight details for the 25th, maybe even upgrade to the 23rd depending on her reaction and then go from there, but I was never given the chance.

To say I was crushed when I woke up to find Sidney gone, all of her shit gone and my dogs crying outside the spare room, would be a massive understatement. Devastated and destroyed is probably more accurate. But that’s how I felt, and I proceeded to fire off a slew of horrible text messages to make things worse.

Until now, I wasn’t sure how I fucked up, what I did to make Sidney run, but those texts, they were my fuck up, which is why this is ass backwards. I didn’t actually fuck up until after Sid left and now my chances of making this right are probably slim to none.

Truth?

Not knowing what I did to make her leave like that in the first place is really why I can’t fix it because I have nothing to go on.

And that, my friend, is exactly why I’m sitting in my underwear on the floor of my living room at seven o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday contemplating whether or not it’s too early to start drinking, all with a bum liver I shouldn’t drink with.

I wasn’t a big drinker before, I couldn’t be because I had to be careful, but the last month without my Shortcake has made me want to try. Too bad I’m not a fan of dying, and would rather smoke weed anyway. But I can’t even do that because Sid ruined it for me. Ruined it in all the best ways, but those are ways to torture myself now, so smoking is out.

I can’t sleep. Barely eat. I haven’t even been able to look at a book let alone read or write. Video games just aren’t the same without Sid sitting in my lap wrapped around my body making an effort to distract me, and movies are just static for basically the same reason.

Everything sucks without Sidney, even more the second time around, and I should know how to make it better but I don’t, so this is me now.

The totally heartbroken dude sitting in his underwear on the floor ready to day-drink his problems away.

My phone starts vibrating on the coffee table, the screen face down and probably getting scratched to shit because I still haven’t bought a case like Sid said I should, but because I’m holding out hope for my future, I snatch that Apple product up so fast I answer without even looking to see who it is.

“What did you do to my mom?”

I blink several times as the soft voice meets my ear. I didn’t even get out hello before that shit was growled at me. So, I check my screen and when I see Sloane’s name, my heart drops.

“What? Is Sid ok? What’s going on?”

“You tell me.”

I frown. “Sloane, sweetheart, I’m not following.”

“Boys are so stupid,” she huffs, her eye roll practically audible. “My mom. I want to know what you did to her. She’s been different ever since she came home from Florida.”

“Different how?” I get to my feet and start looking for pants. “What’s going on with your mom?”

Sloane pauses, waits for way too long since my pulse is now hammering in my ears. “Just... different.”

“Examples, sweetheart. I need more than that.”

“So do I,” she snaps back exactly the way Sid does. “She was so happy every time I talked to her, excited, even silly. Then she came home and I know she missed us, was happy to see us, but Mom was just... ”

Aha! I see my discarded sweats, grab them from the corner of the TV and tug them on. “She was what, Sloane?”

Another long pause before this amazing girl reaches into my chest and rips my heart out. “Sad.”

I stop mid pace.

Sid was sad?

Sid is sad?

As much as I hate the idea of my girl being anything but ecstatic, I don’t understand. She’s the one who left without a word, the one who won’t return my calls or texts. Sid is the one who ended us before we ever really had a chance to begin and while I know she had feelings for me, doing what she did shouldn’t have made her sad, not if she really wanted to do it.

“She’s not eating.”

“What?” Full blown panic explodes in my chest. “She’s not eating?”

“No.” Sloane sighs. “She doesn’t think I notice but Mom isn’t eating, she’s barely sleeping, and she cries all the time when she thinks we can’t hear her. This is worse than when my parents got their divorce, Blake, and I want to know what you did to her.”

I take a deep breath and decide to tell a fourteen-year-old what I should have told her mother a month ago. “I didn’t do anything but fall in love with her all over again, sweetheart.”

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” She sighs but there’s a slight smile in her tone. “She’s in love with you too, you know.”

“I know.”

“So why is Mom so sad?”

I grab my laptop from the stove because that’s where it’s been since I canceled my flight to Georgia, and start searching for another one. “I honestly don’t know, Sloane. We had a great time while she was here, even talked about what happened when we were kids, about trying the long-distance thing.” This probably isn’t really appropriate conversation for a teenager, but oh well. “I was even planning to fly out there a few days after your mom left.”

“Shit,” she grumbles. “This is probably my dad’s fault.”

“How so?” Because I already want to punch him in the nuts, this will just add fuel to the fire at this point.

“Do you know why my parents split?”

“No. Sid never told me. She’s said a few things, but I’ve always assumed there was more to it.” Then I realize this is a teenager, their daughter, and totally inappropriate. “But maybe you should?—”

“He cheated on her,” Sloane blurts, confirming my suspicion. “I’m not supposed to know that, or the fact that my dad gambled away their savings and our college funds.”

Jesus .

Well, that explains a hell of a lot.

But still. “Sloane, sweetheart, I’m not sure you should be telling me all this.”

“Yeah well, I don’t care,” she huffs again. “Mom should have told you so I’m going to, she can be mad at me after you guys get back from your honeymoon.”

I chuckle and shake my head.

So much like her mother.

“Mom has no idea I know all of this, just like she doesn’t have a clue that I know she went into a super deep depression after she walked in on my dad with that other woman.”

“Wait, what? Sid caught him in the act?” Now I don’t mind quite as much that she’s telling me all this shit.

“Yep. They were already in counseling and trying to work through his other problems but then that happened, and Mom filed for divorce.” There’s movement on her end, almost what sounds like a bathroom stall closing. “And even though Mom has forgiven Dad and they get along ok, that crap really changed her. She is still the best mom ever and always has been, but it really hurt her. My parents had been together since you two broke up or whatever, and when Dad pretty much shit all over her plans, Mom sort of, well she was lost.”

“So, you do know about me and your mom? From… before?” Which would shock the hell out of me since it took an entire week for that shit to get aired out.

But Sloane just sighs again. “Yeah, Mom told me… I think like two years ago? We got into a fight and I said some really mean stuff to her, including accusing her of never being with someone she actually loved. After I calmed down she told me about you, then it came up again a few weeks later when I was having a meltdown over never finding true love because the boys I know are idiots. She said she found love in high school so it could happen. Which is when I really went snooping about Mom.”

“You’re a really smart kid, you know that?”

“I do.” Sloane giggles. “But Mom does too so it won’t surprise her that I read her journal when my parents divorced, or that I called you to try to fix this. Mom went through a lot that first year, struggled with so many things. Her confidence took a huge blow, and it wasn’t until she started talking to you—as in Blake Morgan, since we didn’t know you were the Blake yet—that she got any of it back. Then she went down to visit you and...” Sloane sniffles and my heart squeezes. “It was like we had our mom back.”

“Sloane, honey... I’m not sure...” I’m not sure I’m the one to get her back for good. “I don’t know how to fix this. She just left without a word, won’t answer my calls or texts. I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to make this better.”

“You could come out here,” she says just as I click on the option that allows Lock, Stock, and Barrel to fly with me. “I know if Mom saw you, if she could talk to you and see that you love her, I know that would break her out of this funk. She’s making herself sick over it.”

What ? “Sick? Sid’s sick?”

“Kind of. I don’t know. It’s probably just because she isn’t taking care of herself, but all last week she was puking a ton. Which I’m not supposed to know either.”

“You know a lot of things you aren’t supposed to.”

“Blake,” Sloane says with a pretty serious tone. “If you’re going to be my step-dad then there’s a lot you need to learn. Number one being the fact that I’m a fourteen-year-old detective and if I want to know something then I figure it out.”

So fucking much like Sid. “Got it. Do you happen to know if your mom has gone to the doctor?”

Because that worries me. In the two years knowing her, never once has Sid been sick, no more than a headache she treats with weed, so for her to be puking while she’s not eating or sleeping is terrifying.

“She had an appointment yesterday, but I don’t know how it went. We stayed at Dad’s because today is her first day back to work.”

“What?” Damn, I keep saying that. Sid’s been back in Atlanta for a fucking month but she hasn’t been back to work? That makes no sense.

“Yeah. She took all of her paid time off. Said it was because she missed us so much but I honestly just think she was too sad to go back. Plus, she kinda hates her job.”

“I know.” I all but run to my bedroom, throw my carry-on suitcase onto the bed and start throwing random shit in it. “Do you think something is really wrong with her?”

“No. Nothing other than being heartbroken over sabotaging her relationship with you.”

Smart girl.

“So you just think it’s anxiety or something?” Smart or not I shouldn’t be seeking reassurance from her. Then her words hit me. “You think Sid sabotaged our relationship?” I was worried as hell about that happening. Especially when she tried picking a fight over our past.

“Yep. Mom probably convinced herself you can do better, deserve more. Probably figured you wouldn’t want to deal with my dad so much, especially since you’d find out why they split eventually. Doesn’t help that Taylor looks like Malibu Barbie. Mom can barely stand my dad most of the time but it still hurt her when he started dating then got engaged. Mainly because everyone he’s dated was the polar opposite of Mom. It’s made her question everything about their relationship, everything about herself.”

“Fourteen years is a long time, kiddo.” Even longer when you marry an asshat who has no idea how perfect that woman is and was stupid enough to throw it all away. But his loss is my gain. “Especially since they were together since they were kids in college.”

“Yeah. Mom only dated one other guy before dad— you— and then it was him for so long. I’m not sure Mom ever really knew who she was without being labeled wife or mother. She was lost until she found you again, Blake, and that is the mom my brothers and I need her to be. She’s been amazing our entire lives, but she’s never really been happy, not outside of being a mom and she deserves to be happy while being herself. You do that for her, Blake.” Sloane takes a deep breath. This girl is wise beyond her years. “So, will you come to Atlanta? Make my mom happy again?”

I zip my suitcase then start loading my backpack. “Way ahead of you, kiddo. I already booked my flight, leave in three hours, and packed while we were talking. Where is your mom going to be five hours from now?”

“At school!” she squeals. “You’ll get here around what, one thirty? ”

I glance at the clock as I pull on a t-shirt. “Give or take. I’ve got to rent a car then figure out how to get to the high school”—I haven’t been back to ATL since the accident and I’m not sure how much I remember—“but say I get there around two, two thirty?”

“Last period. It’ll be her last class of the day then she usually stays until Holden gets out of preschool. He takes a bus to the high school, and Jack and I hang onto him until we all go home.”

“You think your dad would mind if you missed your last hour of the day to help me out?”

“You have a plan?” Sloane shouts. “Oh my god, I don’t care if he minds or not, I am so in! My class is right down the hall from hers, so I can be there.”

I smile as I start pulling the boys’ travel bag down from the hall closet. “Check with him, Sloane. The last thing I need is your dad getting pissed at me for convincing you to skip school.” He’s already going to be pissed enough when I threaten to beat his ass for hurting my Shortcake.

“It’s fine.”

“Sloane...”

“God,” she huffs. “Fine, I’ll text him, but he really can’t say crap about this. He noticed something’s wrong with Mom too and if I explain to him that he broke her years ago and you’re going to fix her then he has no choice but to help. He definitely owes her after acting like a jealous jerk while she was in Florida.”

Ignoring the way my skin crawls thanks to that comment, I give Sloane some truth. “Your mom doesn’t need fixing, sweetheart. She just needs to love herself as much as I love her and everything else will fall into place.”

“Gah. Such a romance writer.”

I laugh and load up my super confused French bulldogs. “Writer or not, I love your mom the way she is and I always have, she’s fucking perfect and once she understands that I’m not going anywhere, everything will be fine.”

“Gah! I take back what I said. Boys are stupid but you are not!”

“Thanks.” I double check that I have everything vital then grab the key part of my plan from the shelf. “I let her leave without telling her I love her though, so I’m not that smart.”

“But you’re making it better and that’s all that matters.”

“As long as Sid doesn’t tell me to go to hell then yeah, I’m hoping to make things better.”

“She loves you, Blake, and my mom is not a stupid lady. You show up at her classroom ready to sweep her off her feet, then yeah, you’ll make things better. She’s a romance writer too. You know, she lives for that crap.”

With one suitcase, my most important material possessions and my dogs, I take one last look at the house I’ve called home for years because if all goes well, the next time I’m here it’ll be to load up a moving truck to drive this shit to Georgia.

“Do you have a plan?”

I lock my front door, load my car, and speed out of my driveway. “I do.”

“I’m in,” Sloane confirms.

“I haven’t even told you what it is yet.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re coming to Atlanta because you’re in love with my mom and want to make her happy forever. That’s all I need to know, Blake, and I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

It shouldn’t surprise me that Sid’s oldest child is fucking awesome, but it does, just a little. Not for any reason other than the fact that her dad is an asshat. Gotta thank Jordan though, if he didn’t marry Sid, they wouldn’t have had those kids, kids that will no doubt invade my heart the same way Shortcake did. And if he didn’t fuck up royally, I wouldn’t have met my soulmate all over again via stoned email two years ago.

So, thank you, Jordan Needledick Kinison.

You made my HEA a reality.