Pucking Only (Night Hawks Hockey #2)

Chapter Eleven Ask Her Out

CHAPTER ELEVEN: ASK HER OUT

CARSON

“Monroe! Where’s your head at? Focus!”

I wince and grit my teeth as Coach’s sharp words hit me like a slap. He’s pissed, and I can’t blame him. I’ve let way to many pucks past me this practice and I’m looking like a fucking rookie. Jensen’s looking at me with concern but I wave him off when he starts to skate toward me. The last thing I want right now is him probing me to figure out what’s wrong.

I’m painfully aware of what’s wrong with me. It’s Skyler. She’s sitting up in the stands next to Grace, again, her laptop perched on her knees. It’s the same scene that’s been playing out at our practices ever since she arrived, but today is different.

I know what she tastes like now. How she feels in my arms.

It’s also not helping my focus knowing that Zander is looking at her too. I’ve caught him glancing up at her multiple times. Each time, irritation burns through me. There’s no reason I should be reacting like this. Zander isn’t doing anything wrong. I have no claim on Skyler, but I can’t help myself. I don’t like knowing another man’s eyes are on her.

Sucking in a deep breath, I try to focus on blocking the goal as my teammates pelt me with puck after puck after puck. I manage to keep my shit together enough that I can get through the rest of practice, but it’s a struggle. When Coach finally blows the whistle to call it for the day, I let out a breath of relief.

Following the rest of the team as they skate off the ice, I steal another glance up at Skyler. She and Grace are chatting, seemingly oblivious to the tension among the team. Why do I so badly just want her to look at me? It doesn’t help that she’s absolutely stunning. The way she smiles during the conversation instantly makes me hard. Do I even exist to her right now?

Shaking my head in frustration, I make my way out of the rink and down the tunnel toward the locker room. I get to my locker and start shedding my pads. My muscles seem to sigh in relief as I remove the weight from them.

“Hey, Carson, can I talk to you man?”

I freeze at the sound of Zander’s voice. I’ve been kind of avoiding him for the past couple of days, which yeah, makes me a pussy, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation.

All I can think of when I’m around Zander is Skyler walking out of that bar with him. I don’t know what they did after that, and I don’t want to know. Still, I can’t really ignore him when he’s talking directly to me, especially when I’m in the middle of the locker room wearing nothing but a towel around my waist.

Slowly, I turn from my open locker to face him. He’s dressed in a tank top and basketball shorts, his hair still wet from his shower. He’s gazing at me with a furrowed brow and I can tell he’s concerned.

“Hey,” I reply, my voice cracking. “What’s up?”

He hesitates a moment before saying, “I, uh, wanted to apologize for getting so close to Skyler. I didn’t realize you were into her.”

“What?” I exclaim, startled. My face flushes and I quickly shake my head. “No, no, I’m not into her. You’ve got it all wrong!”

He frowns and I can read the confusion in his expression.

“Uh…but the other night at the bar, you seemed pretty upset that we were leaving together.”

I flinch. Shit…did he see me as they were leaving? I hadn’t exactly been hiding how pissed off I was in the moment.

Clearing my throat, I quickly say, “It’s just that Skyler is Grace’s best friend and is like a sister to me. You know, we all grew up together. I’m just…protective of her, that’s it.”

The words are hard to say and they don’t feel right falling from my lips. I can’t figure out what’s going on with me. Why am I having these conflicting feelings about Skyler? I knew her being here in Denver would cause me nothing but trouble.

When I was younger, I always thought it was annoying. Now, it’s infuriating.

Zander is watching me and I’m careful to keep my expression neutral.

At length, he smiles and nods, relief washing over his gaze.

“Great!” he says. “I didn’t want to cross any lines.”

“Yeah, no,” I mutter, a heavy feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. “No lines crossed.”

“Then would you be okay with it if I asked Skyler out on a date?”

My heart seems to drop for a moment and I totally freeze. He wants to ask Skyler out on a date? Really?

I mean, I can understand why he’d be interested in her. She’s beautiful. Sexy. She’s funny when she wants to be. Quick witted and smart as hell. If I’m honest, Skyler and Zander would be good together. They have a lot of the same interests and similar personalities.

There’s no reason they shouldn’t date each other.

Yet, when I think of Zander touching her…kissing her…stripping her naked and parting her legs…

I feel nauseous.

I want to punch my locker until my knuckles bleed. Erase the thought of Zander making Skyler moan in pleasure from my mind by dousing it with physical pain to distract myself.

Zander’s watching me. He’s expecting an answer, and if I tell him no, that’ll just make me a liar. Even a big brother wouldn’t deny his sister a great guy like Zander. If I say no, then I have to admit that I’m jealous, which means I have to admit that I might feel something more for Skyler than brotherly affection.

Forcing a shrug, I tell Zander, “Yeah, man. That’s cool. Go for it.”

Zander’s smile widens and he claps me on the shoulder.

“Awesome, thanks!” he exclaims. “You’re the best. I really appreciate it. I wouldn’t feel right asking her if it bothered you.”

“Just…don’t hurt her,” I quickly add, clearing my throat when the words feel momentarily stuck. “If you did, it…it would piss off Grace and no one on the team wants her upset.”

“No, definitely not,” Zander chuckles, looking behind him to glance at where Jensen is. “I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

My lips start to hurt as I fight to maintain my smile.

“That’s big of you, dude,” I reply. “To check with me, I mean. Really respectful.”

“Mama raised me right,” he chuckles. “All right, I’ll let you get dressed. Thanks again.”

He turns and hurries away. I watch him go, struggling to maintain my nonchalant demeanor. What I really want to do is rage. Tear the locker room apart and go after Zander to tell him that no, I didn’t want him to ask Skyler out. I wanted him to stay away from her. Just like I wanted every man in the damn world to stay away from her.

I hate this. I hate this so much, but there’s nothing I can do. The only thing I have the right to do is stand here like an idiot and smile as Zander waltzes off to go after Skyler.

My Star.

Clenching my teeth, I turn back to my locker, practically stuffing my head inside so no one can see how angry I’m getting. Not angry at Zander, because none of this is his fault. I’m angry at myself, and I’m angry at Skyler.

I’m angry because I can’t let myself acknowledge what I’m really feeling. I have to keep shoving it down and trying to pretend it’s not there, otherwise I will ruin everything. Skyler is Grace’s best friend. Skyler is like a second daughter to my parents.

I cannot want Skyler. I cannot be jealous when other men want Skyler.

But I am, because I’m a damn idiot. An absolute fool.

I actually want Skyler.

Shaking my head, I shove the unwelcome realization aside and quickly get dressed. I need to get out of here. Go home so I can clear my head and make sense of the mess of emotions rushing through me right now.

I say goodbye to the rest of the guys still in the locker room and make my way out and down the hall toward the team’s private entrance. I step out into the parking lot and freeze.

Zander and Skyler are standing next to his truck, talking and looking far too familiar with each other. I stare at them for several moments and clench my fists at my sides when Skyler lays her hand on his arm. As if she can sense my eyes on her, she suddenly glances my way.

I jerk my gaze away from them and quickly walk to my vehicle. The last thing I want is for her to think I’m spying on them. As I climb into my truck, and tell myself it doesn’t matter what I feel toward her. Skyler is totally off-limits to me and the sooner I come to terms with that fact, the better it will be for all of us.

Still, I can’t help but look out my truck window back at them, and I can’t ignore the dull ache in my chest at the sight of her holding onto his arm.