Pucking Only (Night Hawks Hockey #2)

Chapter Twelve The Good Guy

CHAPTER TWELVE: THE GOOD GUY

SKYLER

Dad:Have a good time tonight, sweetheart! Don’t let him treat you like anything less than a lady!

My dad’s text makes me grin. When I’d messaged him about my date with Zander, I wasn’t sure how he’d respond. Just like usual, he’s both supportive and protective. Clicking out of the message, I set my phone down on my dresser and move to stand in front of my mirror.

Studying my reflection, I adjust the hem of my green sheath dress nervously. It’s not something I’m used to wearing. I’m also not one to wear a lot of makeup or do fancy things with my hair, so my reflection doesn’t really look like me.

It doesn’t help that I’m not wearing my glasses and have contacts in. I don’t hate contacts, but they always dry my eyes out when I try to wear them while I work. So, I normally just opt for my glasses instead.

For this date, though, contacts seem like a better idea… to show off my face and stuff.

Grace lounges on my bed…well, her bed, watching me in tently. She’s wearing a cute pink sundress and her hair is curled. Jensen is taking her out tonight, too. Their date will no doubt end much differently than mine. Much more X-rated versus what I anticipate to be a pretty PG time for me.

“You look gorgeous, Sky,” she says with a slight smile. “That boy isn’t going to know what hit him.”

I give her an uncertain grin. “You think so? It’s not too much?”

She shakes her head. “No, no way. It’s fabulous. Zander’s going to be drooling the whole night. Here, let me get a picture so I can send it to Rylee and Sutton. They’re going to freak out seeing you all dolled up!”

I groan, but let her take the picture anyway. Despite her encouraging words, there’s still a bundle of nerves deep in my belly that I can’t ignore. I’m a little worried about this date and what it could mean…but at the same time, I don’t want to deny myself. Zander’s a good guy. A great guy. I’m lucky to have someone like him interested in me.

Thinking back on when he asked me, I feel a twist of guilt. We’d gone for fries and coffee after his last practice, which has become our routine. While sitting in our regular booth, he’d given me a somewhat shy smile.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he had asked.

I’d looked up from my laptop, totally unaware of what he was going to say, and nodded. “Of course! What’s up?”

“Would you, uh, want to go on a date with me? A real date? Like, we dress up and go for a nice dinner and stuff. The works.”

My jaw had dropped and I’d stared at him for several moments, dumbfounded and struggling to come up with what to say in response.

“I…I…” I’d stammered. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…”

“Oh, don’t worry!” he replied, misunderstanding my hesitation. “I already talked to Carson. I didn’t want to cross any lines, given how close you all are. He’s okay with it.”

“He…he is?”

“Yep,” Zander had nodded.

I wasn’t sure what to think about that revelation. He’d asked Carson if it was okay to take me out, and Carson had said…yes? My stomach dropped and I felt a strange sense of disappointment. After all those years when he’d chased off every guy who’d shown me any interest, he suddenly didn’t care.

I wasn’t sure what feeling was worse — knowing he no longer cared enough to chase away other guys or knowing that he has never felt about me the way I felt about him. Felt being the keyword in that equation.

“Yeah, I’ll go on a date with you,” I’d told Zander, pushing through my confusing hurt feelings and forcing a smile for him. “Sounds fun!”

Now I’m wondering if I’m making a big mistake.

I’ve been quiet for a while, playing with the dress. As if she can read my thoughts, Grace lets out a long huff of breath.

"So, spill it," she says. "You told me the other night that you and Zander should just be friends. What changed your mind? Why are you suddenly going out with the guy?"

I pause, trying to come up with a plausible explanation that doesn't involve revealing what Zander told me when he initially asked me out.

"Well," I begin, feigning nonchalance, "I figured, why not? He's a nice guy, and he's stupid attractive."

Grace arches an eyebrow skeptically. "Uh-huh. And that's it? Just because he's nice and attractive?"

I bite my lip. I can't tell her the real reason — that Carson’s apparent approval of Zander asking me out caught me so off guard that I said yes because I didn’t really know how else to respond.

"Yeah, I mean... he asked, and I thought, why not give it a shot? It could be fun."

Grace studies me for long moments and I can tell she’s not entirely convinced by my explanation.

However, she doesn’t press the topic further. She simply shrugs and says, "Okay, Sky. If you say so."

I turn back to the mirror, checking my reflection once more. The dress hugs my curves just right, and I've let my hair cascade in loose waves over my shoulders.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," I say more to myself than to Grace.

“I’ve never seen you hesitate to go after a guy,” she muses. “And I’ve never seen you toe the relationship line before. What’s got you all twisted up inside about Zander?”

“Nothing,” I insist. “I’m not twisted up inside. I’m looking forward to going out with him, and one date doesn’t make a relationship. Just better sex.”

“Uh huh,” she replies, clearly not convinced. “I’m just confused. He’s pretty perfect for you in addition to being gorgeous and you’re not frothing at the mouth. How long has it been since you’ve been out with a guy, anyway?”

It’s a fair question and a sharp observation. Out of all of Grace’s friends, I was definitely the most outgoing when it came to boys and sex in college. Parties, dates, the thrill of new connections — I thrived on the whirlwind of excitement. But that was years ago. Since starting work at Code Kickers , my life has been consumed by codes, deadlines, and as of late, learning the ins and outs of hockey. My dating life just hasn’t been a priority. I’ve been pouring all my time and energy into my career. Random hook-ups and situationships just haven’t held as much appeal as they did before .

I brush a strand of hair out of my face and glance at Grace’s reflection.

“I haven’t really had the energy for dating since I started working,” I confess, my voice tinged with a hint of embarrassment.

Grace’s eyebrows shoot up in shock. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. I’ve just been focused on work.” I sigh, staring back at my reflection in the mirror. “This will be good for me, and I couldn’t have asked for a better guy to hang out with. I mean, really, if nothing else, I’ll let Zander know how I feel. We can have some fun and there doesn’t have to be any pressure.”

Grace smirks. “You’re finally admitting you like him?”

I roll my eyes. “I never said I didn’t like him. He’s nice, he’s attractive, and we get along well. I’ve just been cautious because of work and — ,” I hesitate, not wanting to admit that the real reason is that Carson is haunting me in the back of my mind, his eyes narrowed into a disapproving glare as he presses me against a brick wall, “ — and my friendship with Zander. Hookups and casual flings are one thing, but a real friendship is something else.”

Grace gets up and crosses the room to me. She wraps her arms around me from behind and hugs me tight. “Skyler, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to find someone special. I know you’ve never really wanted a committed relationship, but maybe that’s just because you haven’t met the right person yet. Maybe Zander’s the right guy.”

I shrug, a lump forming in my throat. “Maybe.”

Everything she’s saying is absolutely true…so why can’t I seem to feel the same heat with Zander that I do with Carson? I try to push that question away and tell myself I’m not a teenager anymore. I don’t need to buy into that whole spark thing. I’m an ad ult and I know that some relationships are a slow-build. Maybe that’s what would happen between Zander and me. Did I really want wild passion and heat if it meant instability?

That’s what I would get with Carson…not that I’m entertaining the idea of being with him. I’m not. Not in the slightest.

Grace gives me another tight squeeze before stepping back. “Alright, I should get going. Zander will be here any minute.”

As if on cue, there’s a knock at the door. My heart skips a beat. Grace winks at me and heads for the door.

“Have fun tonight, Sky,” she says, her tone teasing.

“Thanks, Grace,” I manage to say before she opens the door and slips out, giving Zander a wave hello and goodbye as she passes him.

I take a deep breath and open the door wider. Zander stands there, looking effortlessly handsome in a simple button-down and jeans. His eyes light up when he sees me, and I can’t help but smile.

“Hey, Skyler,” he says, his voice warm and inviting.

“Hey, Zander. Ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” He offers me his arm, and I slip my hand around his elbow, feeling a flutter of excitement and something very much like anxiety in my chest.

The restaurant Zander picks is only a short walk away and cozy, with dim lighting and a relaxed atmosphere. We’re seated at a corner table. The conversation flows easily between us. We talk about hockey, his latest games, and the intricacies of player stats, which I find fascinating. We segue into video games, discussing everything from my latest project to the classic games that sparked our love for gaming.

“So, what’s the next big update for the game?” Zander asks, leaning forward with genuine interest.

I smile, pleased by his enthusiasm. “I’m working on interactive player modes and realistic game physics. It’s been a lot of late nights, but it’ll be worth it.”

“That sounds awesome. I can’t wait to try it out,” he says, his eyes lighting up.

As the night goes on, I find myself genuinely enjoying his company, just like I always do when we hang out. He’s funny, charming, and attentive. However, as much as I appreciate these qualities, there’s something missing. I don’t feel the usual stirring between my legs that would push me to pursue a guy for more than just dinner and a fun hangout

And damn it, I want it. Even though I’m a grown ass woman and not a teenager chasing an unstable bad boy, I’m realizing how important that stupid spark really is.

We finish our meal and Zander insists on walking me back to my building. The night air is cool, and the city’s lights cast a soft glow over everything. We stroll side by side, our conversation becoming quieter and more reflective.

“So, did you have a good time tonight?” Zander asks, glancing at me with a hopeful expression.

“I did,” I reply honestly. “It was really nice. Thank you for dinner.”

As we approach my building, I can feel the weight of the evening settling on my shoulders. I can usually tell when a guy wants to take things further…wants to get physical. It’s the way they look at me, the excuses they make to touch me, and even the subtle changes in their breathing. Zander has been giving me those subtle hints all night and I’m nervous that he’s go ing to try and kiss me. He has been nothing but kind and charming. I’ve enjoyed our conversation and time together, but deep down, I know it’s not fair to lead him on when I don’t feel the same spark he clearly does.

Sleeping with him would be a mistake, I know it in my gut. I don’t want to lose him as a friend. I know letting things go too far between us will do just that.

We reach the front door, and I turn to face him. “Thanks for tonight, Zander. I had a really good time.”

He smiles warmly, his eyes hopeful. “I did too, Skyler. We should do this again sometime.”

I nod, even though I know I shouldn’t. “Yeah….”

He pauses. “I hear a but coming on.”

Releasing a long breath, I drop my gaze and nod. “I’m so sorry, Zander, but… I think we should just be friends. I really care about you, but not in a romantic way. I… I don’t want to ruin the bond we already have.”

He doesn’t say anything for several moments. I finally peek up at him, terrified that he’s going to tell me to fuck off and storm away. Instead, he gives me a small, disappointed smile and nods.

“Yeah, I kind of suspected, but I was holding out hope,” he confesses. “It’s okay, Sky. I’m glad you’re being honest about your feelings. I care about you too and don’t want to lose our friendship either.”

“Really?” I gasp, stunned by how graciously he’s taking my rejection.

“Really,” he assures me, chucking me gently under the chin. “It’s all good. We can go back to the way things were and be buds.”

Seriously, this man is too good. Why couldn’t I feel more for him? He deserves a woman who adores him, and I hope he finds her .

We share a hug.

“Thank you,” I murmur when we part. “You really are the best.”

He gives me a half-grin and shrugs.

“Good night, Skyler.”

“Good night, Zander.”

I watch as he walks away. I feel a mix of guilt and relief. I’m glad I was honest with him, but I hate disappointing him like this.

With a heavy sigh, I turn and go inside the building and I make my way up to my apartment, each step I take feeling heavier than the last. By the time I reach my door, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I dig through my bag for my keys, trying to make sense of everything. I just want to get inside, crawl under the covers on my bed, and go to sleep. I don’t want to think about any of this anymore.

Before I can open the door, I hear footsteps behind me. I turn to find Carson walking down the hall in my direction.

What the hell is he doing here?