Push (Colorado Storm Hockey #3)

Chapter 31

31

ADALINE

Habibti, you’re overthinking it. Trust your instincts.

I can practically hear those words from my teta and I couldn’t miss her more. The new sleep balm I’ve been working on is a total failure. I’ve been at it for hours, trying to nail down the right combination of lavender, chamomile, and valerian root. The formula is proving trickier than I anticipated. Each batch has been close, but not quite right. It’s been too grainy, too pungent, or not potent enough. Sometimes all three.

Frustrated, I set down the mortar in the pestle and look up at the ceiling. “Come on, Ada,” I mutter to myself. “Focus.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. In moments like these, the absence of Teta Lena hits me hardest. She would know exactly what to do. My throat tightens with unshed tears. What I wouldn’t give for her guidance right now, not just with this balm, but with everything.

The door to the workshop opens, and Mallory walks in, her arms full of papers and her tablet. Since becoming my business partner and Operations Manager, she’s been very professional. Today, she’s wearing a crisp white blouse and tailored pants. Her purple hair is super cute, pulled back in a clip .

“Hey,” she says, setting her load down on a clear spot on the workbench. “How’s the new balm coming along?”

I’m pretty sure I work for her now.

“Not great. I can’t seem to get it right.” I gesture to the various failed attempts scattered around me.

Mallory gives me a sympathetic smile. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.” She pulls up a stool next to me. “Want to hear some good news?”

“Yes, for the love of God.”

“Okay, so the interviews for new retail staff are going really well. I think we’ve found a couple of great candidates,” Mallory begins. Her enthusiasm is infectious. “And the web developer? She’s a genius. Wait till you see what she’s done with our online store. It’s going to be able to handle ten times our current traffic.”

She pulls out her tablet, swiping through screens. “Oh, and check out these mock-ups for our new campaign. I think they’re going to be a hit.”

I lean in to check them out. They’re using our new brand Mallory helped to develop. “Wow! These look amazing.”

“That’s not all,” she continues, practically bouncing in her seat. “I’ve set up our social media advertising buys, and we’re starting an influencer program. Guess who signed on? Kyla and her friends.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Kyla? Really?”

Mallory nods, grinning. “Yep. Say what you want about her, but she’s got a following. This could be huge for us.”

As I look at all the progress Mallory’s made, a wave of inadequacy washes over me. Here she is, taking our business to new heights, and I can’t even get one balm right.

“You’re doing such an amazing job. I feel like I’m letting you down. I can’t seem to create anything new without Teta’s guidance. What if I’ve lost my touch? ”

Mallory’s expression softens. “Ada, you haven’t lost anything. You’re grieving. It’s normal to struggle.”

I blink back tears. “But what if I can’t do this without her?”

“You can,” Mallory says firmly. “Yes, she taught you the basics, but your talent is all you. You just need to give yourself time to adjust to this new life you’re living without her.”

I nod and wipe my eyes. “I miss her so much. Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere, and it’s like losing her all over again.”

Mallory pulls me into a hug. “I know. But you’re not alone, Ada. You’ve got me, you’ve got your family, and you’ve got Nik. We’re all here for you.”

I pull back from Mallory’s hug, wiping my eyes. “When did you get so wise? Are you the new Teta now?”

Mallory laughs, playfully swatting my arm. “As if I could ever be that cool. Teta was in a league of her own.”

“Oh, before I forget,” I say, suddenly remembering, “we’re having one last family dinner at Teta’s house this afternoon, after church. Kind of a last goodbye before they put it on the market next week.”

Mallory’s eyes widen. “Oh wow, they’re really selling it? That’s big.”

A lump forms in my throat. “Yeah, it is. It feels weird, you know? Like we’re erasing her somehow.”

“I get that, but you’re not erasing her, Ada. She’ll always be with you, house or no house.”

I manage a small smile. “Thanks, Mallory.” Then, an idea strikes me. “Hey, why don’t you come to the dinner? You can bring George. I’m sure the family would love to see you both.”

Mallory raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on a family thing.”

“Please,” I scoff, “you practically are family.”

“One of these days, you need to come over and deal with my family. You know the Michaels are a handful too.”

“Of course I will, I love your family. So you’ll come? ”

Mallory nods. “Of course. I’ll text George and let him know. Should we bring anything?”

I shake my head. “Just yourselves. And maybe some patience for the Khoury family chaos.”

“Got it,” Mallory says with a mock salute.

As we turn back to our work, I feel a little lighter. The grief is still there, a constant ache in my chest, but having Mallory by my side makes it a bit more bearable. And as I look at the failed attempts of my sleep balm, I realize that maybe, just maybe, I can figure this out. The least I can do is try harder for Teta.

As Mallory and I wrap up our conversation, there’s a knock at the back door.

“That must be Nik,” I tell Mallory. “I’ve been expecting him.”

Mallory gives me a knowing smile. “Have fun.”

As Mallory heads to the front, I take a deep breath and open the door. My breath catches in my throat at the sight of Nik. He’s leaning against the doorframe, his muscular torso accentuated by a black t-shirt that clings to his chest in all the right ways. His jeans sit low on his hips, and I find my eyes tracing the line where fabric meets skin. He’s wearing leather bracelets on his wrist and it adds an unexpected edge to his look.

His eyes meet mine, dark and intense. Heat rises to my cheeks as I check him out.

“See something you like?” Nik teases me.

“Yes, a brute of a man,” I answer, recycling my description of him.

He pushes off the doorframe and steps closer. My heart races as he crowds my space and doubles over that when he rests a hand on my hip. “No need for flattery when I’ve got you looking at me like that.”

Before I can retort, his lips are on mine. The kiss is deep and hungry. His new beard scratches pleasantly against my skin as he deepens the kiss, and I find myself melting into him. My hands slide up his chest, feeling the solid warmth of him beneath the thin cotton of his shirt.

When we finally part, we’re both a little breathless. Nik’s eyes are dark with want, and I have to resist the urge to drag him further into the workshop and have my way with him right here and now.

“I missed you,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing circles on my hip.

As he speaks, his gaze travels up to my hair, and a soft smile plays on his lips. He reaches up and gently tugs at the ribbon holding my curls back.

“This blue ribbon,” he says, his voice low and intimate. “It reminds me of that morning in Vegas. You looked so beautiful.”

I feel a blush creeping up my neck. “You remember that?”

Nik’s fingers trail from the ribbon down to my cheek. “I remember everything about you, Ada.”

“You didn’t remember my name,” I must remind him.

His lips hover over mine and I go short of breath. “Forgive me?”

“Always,” I reply breathlessly. “Well, I’ll have to wear this ribbon more often, then.”

“Please do,” he murmurs and gifts me with a kiss.

I playfully push him back, even though every part of me wants to pull him closer. “Down, boy.”

Nik’s expression shifts, excitement replacing the desire in his eyes. “So, I was thinking, how about we head up to the mountain house for a romantic walk in the woods? I could make us dinner after.”

My heart sinks a little as I remember our plans. “I’d love to, but remember? We have the family dinner at Teta’s house.”

His eyes widen in recognition. “Right, of course. I’m sorry, it completely slipped my mind.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him, though I can’t help but notice an eagerness in his demeanor, like he has something important to tell me. “Is everything alright? You seem…excited about something.”

Nik’s smile broadens and there’s a hint of mystery in his eyes. “Everything’s great. There’s just something I want to talk to you about. But it can wait until later.”

I’m intrigued, but I don’t push. Instead, I lean in for a quick kiss, reveling in the way his body immediately responds to mine. “Okay, Mister Mysterious. I’m looking forward to it.”

As we approach Nik’s Jeep, he opens the passenger door for me. I’m about to slide in, but there’s a pile of mail on the seat.

“Oh, sorry about that. Just toss it in the back or on the floor,” Nik says and then walks around to the driver’s side of the Jeep.

I start to move the mail, but a cream-colored piece of card stock catches my eye. It’s clearly an invitation, and I spot the name Deborah right away.

“Is this Debbie’s wedding invitation?” I ask, holding it up as I climb into my seat. My voice is tight and controlled.

Nik’s eyes flick to the invitation, then back to the road as he starts the engine. His jaw clenches visibly as he drives us away. “Yeah, it just came yesterday.”

“And you weren’t going to mention it?” I can feel the hurt and anger rising in my chest.

He shrugs, his knuckles whitening on the steering wheel. “I didn’t think it was important.”

“Not important?” I repeat, my voice rising. “Nik, your ex-wife sent you a wedding invitation. That’s kind of a big deal.”

“Is it?” He glances at me, his brow furrowed. “I thought you knew she was getting married.”

“I knew, but that’s not the point. The point is, you got this invitation and didn’t tell me. I thought we were supposed to share things like this.”

We stop at a red light, and Nik turns to face me fully. His dark eyes are a storm of emotions I can’t quite read. “Ada, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

A car horn blares behind us. The light has turned green.

As we move again, I press on. “Upset me? Nik, what upsets me is you keeping things from me.”

My voice catches, and I have to take a deep breath to steady myself. Nik’s expression softens.

“Ada, I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot right now with your grandmother’s passing. That’s why I didn’t want to add to your stress.”

What he’s saying is meant to comfort me, but it’s only fueling my frustration. “Don’t use Teta as an excuse, Nik. I’m not some fragile thing you need to protect. I need you to be honest with me, especially when things are tough.”

Nik runs a hand through his short hair. “I’m trying, Ada. I’m sorry.”

I soften my voice. “I need to know where I stand with you. Sometimes I feel like you’re still hung up on Debbie, and it scares me.”

His head whips around to look at me, genuine surprise in his eyes. “Hung up on Debbie? Ada, no. That’s not it at all.”

“Then what is it?” I challenge. “Because from where I’m sitting, it feels like you’re keeping part of yourself closed off from me.”

We’re pulling up to Teta’s house now, the familiar facade looming before us. Nik parks the Jeep and turns to me, his hand reaching for mine.

“Ada,” he says, his voice low and intense. “Debbie is my past. You’re my present. My future. I’m sorry I’m not better at showing you that.”

I want to believe him, but there’s still a nagging doubt in my mind. “Then why keep the invitation a secret?”

Nik sighs. “Honestly? Because after I talked to her, I felt like I put it all to rest. I no longer had to think about it existing. I could just move forward.”

“You talked to her about it?” And now I’m feeling extra hurt he didn’t tell me about this.

“She reached out to me because my aunt had been in touch with her about my dad. Debbie gave her my number.”

As if this didn’t feel painful enough. It’s like the more I uncover, the worse it gets, and the less trusted I feel. Who am I in his life?

“Your aunt contacted Debbie?”

“Yes.”

“Does your aunt know that you’re married to me now?”

Nik’s silence is like a punch in the gut.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“That’s correct.”

Nik’s admission only adds fuel to the fire burning within me. It’s as if with each word he speaks, the distance between us widens, and I can’t help but feel a sense of betrayal creeping in.

“So your ex-wife reached out to you because of a conversation with your aunt about your father? And you chose not to share any of this with me?” My voice is barely above a whisper, though the weight of my words hangs heavy in the air between us.

Nik looks down, his jaw tight as he processes my questions. “I didn’t want to burden you with it, Ada. You have enough on your plate already.”

Anger bubbles in my chest, threatening to spill over. “Burden me? Nik, keeping something like this from me is far more of a burden than being honest ever could be.”

He reaches out to touch my cheek, but I flinch away from his hand. His expression is pained, remorse etched in the lines of his face. “Ada, please, I never meant to hurt you. I just…I don’t know how much any of this means to you. I wasn’t even certain if you would care. ”

“Of course, I care. Have I not made that obvious to you, Nik? You have become my person, so fast and so intensely. How could I not care?”

He doesn’t answer, and I can sense he’s processing that. It’s like this man doesn’t know how to be loved by somebody.

And there is that word, love. When I imagine saying it to him, it’s not in this kind of context, and definitely not while we’re fighting.

“Listen,” he goes on. “I’m trying my best. And this only happened yesterday. And I didn’t tell my aunt about you, because she and I don’t have a relationship. It’s not like your family, Ada. Where everyone is involved in everyone else’s life. We don’t have that. I’m on my own and I always have been.”

I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, and it softens some of my anger. “Nik, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here.”

He nods, bringing my hand to his lips for a soft kiss. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Ada.”

As his lips brush against my hand, a wave of conflicting emotions washes over me. Despite my frustrations and doubts, I can’t deny the deep feelings I have for this man sitting beside me. We are both flawed, trying to navigate the complexities of our relationship during all these external challenges. And perhaps, in this moment of raw honesty, there lies an opportunity for us to grow even closer.

I take a deep breath, and the tension slowly dissipates from my body. “I know you’re trying, Nik. And I appreciate that.” My voice is softer now, laced with understanding.

He meets my gaze with a mixture of relief and gratitude. “Thank you, Ada. I promise to do better.”

With a small nod, I lean in closer to him, our foreheads touching. We just breathe together for a bit.

The sounds of my family’s chatter drift from the house, reminding us of where we are.

“We should go in,” he says .

“I suppose so. One last time,” I reply and tears start streaming down my face. He puts his arm around my shoulders and lets me cry. I let it all out. Losing my beloved Teta, the overwhelming feelings I have for Nik and all that comes with that, and the stress of my new business strategy. Even that sleep balm I can’t figure out. All of it comes out in tears. And he’s there with me through it all. When it’s out of my system, he gazes at me, waiting for me to make the first move. I give him a nod. “Come on.”

As we step out of the Jeep, there’s still tension between us, but it’s lessened somewhat.

Nik comes around to my side and his hand finds the small of my back. The warmth of his touch soothes me. “Are we okay?” he asks softly.

I look up at him and take in the concern in his dark eyes. Despite my lingering frustration, I feel a surge of affection for this complicated man.

“We will be,” I say.

He nods with understanding in his eyes. As we walk up to the front door, I take a deep breath and plaster on a smile. We might not have resolved everything, but at least we’ve taken a step in the right direction. Now, we just have to navigate this family dinner.

We step into Teta’s house and the noise hits us like a wave—laughter, animated conversations, and the tinny sound of the baseball game from the old TV in the corner. It will never be like this again. Teta was our glue. She made these days happen, and it seems like my heart breaks for the millionth time since she passed.

“Ada! Hux!” Aunt Vicky calls out from the crowded kitchen. “Come in, come in! ”

We make our way through the sea of relatives, accepting hugs and kisses. Nik, to his credit, takes it all in stride, even when Uncle Peter slaps him on the back hard enough to make him stumble.

The kitchen is a whirlwind of activity. The women of my family move around each other in a well-choreographed dance, stirring pots and chopping vegetables. The counters are laden with dishes—stuffed grape leaves, kibbeh, and a mountain of pita bread.

“Here, habibti,” Aunt Esther says, handing me a wooden spoon. “Taste the hummus. Does it need more lemon?”

As I sample the creamy dip, a bittersweet ache blooms in my chest. How many times had I stood in this very spot, Teta guiding my hand as she had me stir the pot?

“It’s perfect,” I say, blinking back tears.

Nik notices, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. “You okay?” he murmurs.

I nod, leaning into him. “Just…memories.”

He presses a kiss to my temple, and for a moment, all our earlier tension fades away. I’m grateful for his solid presence beside me.

The evening unfolds in a blur of food, laughter, and nostalgia. We gather around the big dining table, elbows bumping as we pass dishes back and forth. Mark regales us with stories of his pranks on Teta, while Kyla shares memories of sleepovers in the living room.

“Remember when Teta caught us trying to sneak out to that party?” Kyla giggles. “I thought we were so dead!”

“But she just winked and told us to be home by midnight,” I finish, laughing at the memory.

Mallory and George show up. George is still in his pickleball gear and he’s talking to anyone who will listen about why they should pick up the sport. Mallory rolls her eyes at him, but then gives his tush an exaggerated pinch and he yelps. “Enough pickleball talk!”

He nods and plants a sweet kiss on her cheek.

As we eat, I notice Nik fitting in seamlessly with my family. He laughs at Uncle Joe’s terrible jokes, discusses hockey strategies with my cousins, and even attempts to pronounce some Arabic phrases, much to everyone’s amusement.

After the meal, as we’re clearing the tables, Nik’s phone rings. He glances at the screen, his expression tightening. “I need to take this,” he says, stepping out onto the back porch.

I watch him through the window, noting the tension in his shoulders as he talks. When he comes back inside, his face is pale, his eyes distant.

“Nik?” I touch his arm gently. “What’s wrong?”

He looks at me, and I can see a storm of emotions in his eyes. “Can we talk privately?”

I nod, leading him to Teta’s bedroom. As soon as the door closes behind us, Nik’s composure wavers.

“My father,” he says, his voice is rough. “He died. Just now.”

“Oh, Nik,” I breathe and reach for him. He doesn’t pull away, but I can feel the tension in his body.

“I don’t know how to feel,” he admits. His voice is barely above a whisper. “I’m not sad, not really. But I’m... angry? Confused?”

I take his hand, squeezing gently. “That’s okay. It’s complicated. Do you want to talk about it?”

Nik takes a shaky breath and I’m almost certain he will shake his head no, but to my surprise, he starts talking. “I know I chose not to see him, but now I’m feeling some regret about that. Not because I wanted to clear the air, but because I’ll never get answers now.”

“What questions did you have?” I ask quietly.

“Why did he treat me like that? Why didn’t he love me?”

To my surprise, Nik’s eyes fill with tears. Not tears of grief for the man who died, but for the little boy who never understood why his father couldn’t love him.

“I’m sorry, Nik,” I say softly. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”

He nods, swallowing hard. “I thought I was past all this. That it didn’t matter anymore. But now…”

I wrap my arms around him, and this time, he leans into me. His shoulders shake with silent sobs.

After a while, Nik pulls back slightly, his eyes red-rimmed but clear. “I need to go home,” he says.

“Okay. I’m sure Mark can give me a ride.”

“Will you come with me?” he asks.

The request is so simple, yet so profound. It nearly brings me to tears. I keep expecting him to shut me out, but he’s not. He’s letting me in and it means so much to me. “Of course,” I whisper. “I’m here for you, Nik. Whatever you need.”

He nods, pressing his forehead to mine. In this moment of shared vulnerability and comfort, I feel closer to him than ever before. The words slip out before I can stop them.

“I love you.”

Nik’s breath catches, and for a heartbeat, I’m afraid I’ve said too much. But then his arms tighten around me, and he whispers back, “I love you too, Ada. So much.”

In my grandmother’s bedroom, we hold each other tightly and it confirms for me that this is what Teta had always hoped for me. Not just a husband in name only, but a true partner. Someone to face life’s complexities with. Both the joys and struggles. And although I am confident I would have been content on my own, it’s truly wonderful to know that I don’t need Nikolas Huxley in my life, but I genuinely want him in it. It was always my choice all along.