Quiet Longing (Quiet Love #2)

31.

Rhys

I knew it wasn’t a date.

Shay and I had been held up dealing with a couple who’d locked themselves in their room and refused to check out. Their stay had ended, and the card the reception desk had on file was declined. In the end, we’d been forced to enter the room and escort them off the premises, which was never fun. From the look of them, I’d expected drugs and alcohol were involved, but the receptionist who’d checked them in said they’d seemed perfectly sober when they’d arrived.

Anyway, dealing with that situation had made Shay late to meet Maggie and Jonathan for lunch. Maggie had come looking for him, and she’d mentioned how Jonathan was still in the restaurant talking with Charli. My jealousy had flared at the thought of that suave prick getting the opportunity to chat her up. I’d been unable to help myself from going straight there on the pretence of checking in with the head server, Matt. As soon as I saw her sitting at a table with Jonathan, I’d had to fight the urge to stride over there, yank her into my arms, and growl Mine like some crazed neanderthal.

Thankfully, I’d managed to get my shit in order as I’d forced myself to leave the restaurant without making a scene.

Charli stood several feet from my desk, a brown paper bag clutched in her hand, and her expression flustered. A sense of possessiveness filled me because she’d come wanting me to know she hadn’t been on a date, but at the same time, I didn’t like seeing her distressed. My body struggled against the urge to approach her, hands itching to gently smooth away the stressed indent between her eyebrows.

“I just, um, I remembered you saying I should be wary of Jonathan, and I didn’t want you thinking I disregarded your advice,” she went on, biting her lip. Fuck, she was so earnest and beautiful, and I was a piece of shit for feeling victorious that she’d come to me.

Clearing my throat and endeavouring to maintain a cool facade, I replied gently, “You’re under no obligation to take my advice. You can date Jonathan if you feel you’re ready.” The words were like swallowing broken glass, but they had to be said.

“But I trust your advice, and besides, I’m not interested in him. I just …”

She seemed conflicted, and it took all my effort not to cross the room and surround her in a protective embrace. “Charli?”

She glanced at the seat in front of my desk. “Can I sit?”

“Of course.”

Charli exhaled heavily then pulled out the chair and set her brown paper bag on the side of my desk. Her eyes darted around the room, settling on the shelf behind my desk then the container of pens near my laptop and the stack of papers I’d printed out the day before.

Basically, she looked anywhere but directly at me, which told me she was either shy or nervous. Possibly both.

“So, I had this massage last weekend at the spa in the Malahide hotel, and it was kind of a revelation,” she said at last, and I blinked. Okay . That wasn’t what I’d expected.

“Oh?”

Her eyes darted to mine and then away, hands fiddling in her lap. “I broke down a little,” she confessed quietly like she was telling me an embarrassing secret, and my chest constricted. “Ended up crying in front of the masseuse.” She waved a hand in the air. “It was a whole thing. But Kelly was so sweet and understanding. She gave me time to process my emotions before we continued with the massage. It really released a lot of tension and trauma I didn’t know I was carrying. I hadn’t realised how long it was since someone touched me with kind hands.”

Beneath the desk, my own hand clenched into a fist at what she’d said. The instinct to hunt down her ex-husband returned with a vengeance. I couldn’t speak. If I did, I’d only end up sounding angry and possibly frightening her.

“When I left, I felt lighter like a cloud that had been hovering around my soul had been lifted. I know that sounds silly, but that’s just how it felt.”

“It’s not silly,” I grunted, still struggling to contain all that I was feeling at that moment. Charli’s eyes widened slightly at my gruff tone, and I forced myself to soften my voice. “Sorry, please go on.”

She pressed her lips together, swallowing thickly before she continued, “Well, I’ve been working through a lot of stuff, and speaking with my therapist in video calls helps, but I’m starting to feel like working through the emotions the massage brought out is important for my healing process, too.” She looked at me then, and though I was happy to be the one she chose to talk things out with, I wasn’t entirely sure where the conversation was headed.

Her eyes flicked to mine again. “While I was talking to Jonathan back in the restaurant, I mentioned how I was recently divorced, and he told me about a situation he had with one of his exes a few years ago. I don’t know, something just clicked for me.”

She paused, seeming shy as she smoothed her hands over her lap.

“What clicked for you?” I asked softly.

She shifted in her seat. “Well, he said that when his engagement to the woman he’d been with for five years ended, and he wasn’t in a good place to start anything new, he entered an arrangement with another ex of his who he was on good terms with. A, uh, friends with benefits sort of thing.”

“Okay,” I said, trying not glower at the idea of Charli and Jonathan having a heart to heart about their love lives.

“So,” she continued, inhaling deeply as though drawing courage from someplace deep inside her, her eyes still intent on mine. “I thought maybe you and I could, well … I thought since we’re exes who are on good terms, we could try something similar.”

For a second, my brain stop-started. Then, when I realised what she was asking of me, I found myself battling between two intense reactions. One part of me wanted to drag her across the desk and do obscene things to her without a care that anyone could walk right into my office. The other part was disappointed she didn’t want something more than friends with benefits. I quickly quashed the feeling, reminding myself she was in a transitional phase of her life. If Charli was asking strictly for sex, then that was clearly all she was ready for.

“Charli,” I breathed, almost in warning, and she blinked like my tone had startled her. This was agony. I wanted to give her everything she needed, but I refused to take advantage, not when she was working through trauma.

“I just thought that since I’m still very attracted to you, and I feel like maybe you might still be a little bit attracted to me. Well, it would be a mutually beneficial thing.”

At this, I let out a low, derisive laugh. If only she knew. There was no “might” about it, and “a little bit attracted” didn’t cut it. Not even close. I desired her in a way that felt like it might scare her if I showed the true intensity of my feelings. Charli wasn’t ready for that, and I refused to set her back when she was already making such forward progress in her life.

I could, however, be of help. I could put my own needs aside and give to her without ever taking .

When I still didn’t speak, too busy trying to wrangle the beast that wanted to break free and ravish her, Charli bit her lip again. “Rhys, please say something. I’m kind of flailing over here.”

Just like that, I rose from my chair. Less than a second later, I knelt before her and pulled her chair towards me so we faced each other. She gasped, her hazel eyes widening at the move.

“So, let me get this straight,” I began, my voice a low rasp as I lifted my head to meet her gaze. “You want me to help you work through the trauma you have with being touched?”

Silently, she nodded, her breaths quickening.

“Use me, then,” I uttered roughly, hands gripping the edge of her seat. Her mouth fell open at my words.

“R-rhys,” she stammered, her chest rising and falling shakily. “I won’t use you.”

I tilted my head, my eyes gliding down her nose to her lips and chin then to her chest before rising back up. “Not even if I want you to?”

Red tinged her cheeks and neck. She ignored my question when she said, “We’d need to discuss the rules. If we’re going to be friends with benefits—"

“Fuck friends with benefits,” I growled. “We’re not doing that.” Because it would be a lie. She might be able to see me as only a friend, but I had feelings for her that far surpassed friendship. She didn’t need to know about that, though. “Use me in whatever way you need. Whatever might help you process what you need to process, I’m in. And when you’ve gone through it all and need to move on, you can drop me, and I’ll let you go. For however long or however much you need, I’m yours to use how you see fit.”

It was almost painful to say, but if this was all I ever had with her, I’d take it, even if my heart got crushed in the process. I’d let a herd of cattle stomp all over it for the chance of a single night with her. Hell, I’d do it in exchange for a solitary hour.

“That doesn’t sound very fair,” she breathed as I began to lean forward, my eyes on the pearlescent buttons of her pale pink shirt.

“I’ll decide what’s fair. Want to start now?”

I heard her gasp before she whispered, “Okay.”

My eyes flicked up from where I still knelt before her, hovering but not touching.

“Can I put my mouth on you?”

“Yes. Please.”

A dark, satisfied smile curved my lips as I began to flick open her shirt buttons. “If you need me to stop at any point say it, and I will,” I rasped. A few buttons more and her shirt was wide open. She watched as I pushed it apart from my position below her. Our eyes connected, and a bolt of affection shot through me. This felt right . It felt like coming home after a long, long time at sea. I was dangerously obsessed with Charli. Always had been. Her eyes and face, her body and voice were hardwired into my very being. As soon as she entered a room, my body responded. I wanted her, had never stopped.

It was going to be difficult not letting her see the intensity of my desire—and not just for her body. I wanted her heart, her mind, her soul. But I could live with not getting what I wanted. Getting to touch her again was more than I’d ever dreamed of.

Leaning forward, I caught one of her hands that had been resting in her lap. I linked my fingers through hers while my other hand smoothed over her deliciously curved hip. Then I fanned my breath across her skin before dragging my lips along her soft stomach, my cock rock hard and straining against my fly. This wasn’t about me, though. This was about her.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said, was still inwardly fuming over it.

I hadn’t realised how long it was since someone touched me with kind hands.

My hands would be more than kind. They would revere, worship, cherish, adore . Never again would a hand be raised to her in anything other than devotion. If it was the last thing I did, I’d make sure of it.

Charli hissed a sharp, surprised breath when I kissed my way up her stomach. Her free hand went to my hair, her grip light but firm as I continued spreading kisses all along her torso until I reached the crest of her perfect tits. “Yes, there,” she urged in a light, airy voice, her eyes closed as I pulled down the cup of her bra and took a nipple into my mouth. Her back arched off the chair, but I kept our fingers laced, squeezing her hand and checking in with her as I moved my attention to the other breast.

Some of Charli’s hair fell free of her clip and fanned across her face. I’d never seen anything sexier. With a sudden burst of desire, I took both her hands, wrapped them around my neck, then lifted her from where she sat. Charli let out a surprised squeak as I carried her to the larger chair behind my desk. It was a novelty to use it for a purpose other than working. In fact, I’d never done anything remotely forbidden in my office before. Someone could walk in at any moment, but I didn’t imagine they would. Besides, most people knocked when they wanted to speak with me. And even if they didn’t, and Charli and I were caught in the act, the worst we’d get was a meeting with HR and possibly a scolding from Padraig.

Worth it , I thought to myself because no way was I leaving her to go lock the door.

Lowering into the seat, I encouraged Charli to sit astride me. Then I gripped the back of her neck, reminding her, “If you feel overwhelmed, just tell me.”

“I’m not overwhelmed,” she responded, breathless, then a smile shaped her lush mouth. “Well, no, that’s not true. I am a little, but in a good way.”

I smiled back then caught her lips in a nipping kiss. She gasped. I nuzzled her jaw then kissed her again with more force. She moaned, her arms tightening around my neck as the kiss deepened, her tongue tangling with mine.

I was so turned on I was in danger of embarrassing myself. But that was okay. I had a spare change of clothes in the office, plus a private bathroom just to the left where I could clean up.

Charli’s breath hitched when I slid my hand down her stomach, slipping inside her waistband to cup her over her underwear. “Rhys,” she purred, breaking the kiss to bury her face in my neck.

“Can I keep going?” I asked, tracing my fingers over the lacy fabric. I felt her nod against me. A second later, I shoved her underwear aside and felt her wet, slick heat on my fingers. I was already mindless for her.

“Fuck,” I swore roughly.

“ Rhys ,” she huffed as I thumbed her clit and slowly sank a finger inside her. Her channel clenched around me, and I let my head fall back with a groan.

“You feel incredible,” I told her, my voice full of adoration as I added another finger and gently pumped. “I missed this,” I went on, and she turned her head, kissing me with a passion I hadn’t expected. I continued circling her clit with my thumb, feeling her body tighten with the promise of release. My other hand went to her breast, still spilling over the cup of her bra. I palmed it then gently pinched the nipple, and the way she sighed into the kiss was almost my undoing. Having her in my lap felt like living out a fantasy. It didn’t feel real. But then, when her tongue licked more urgently against mine and her hands tugged gently at my scalp, nothing had ever felt realer.

“Rhys,” she gasped, breaking the kiss. “I’m going to …” A second later, she came against my hand, soaking my fingers with her wetness. Fuck, that was fast. She was a hair trigger. Or maybe I just remembered how to touch her, what she liked.

I wanted to peel away the rest of her clothes and fuck her against my desk, but I wouldn’t. This wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. Instead, I cradled her in my arms as her orgasm petered out, littering kisses along her jaw and chin, her cheeks and nose.

Her arms tightened around my neck once more as she burrowed into me, and I was awash with her scent and heat. “That was … amazing,” she said at last when she finally came back to herself.

Her eyes were a little unfocused as they ran over me, her hand cupping my cheek. “Thank you,” she went on, her hand moving to my neck, down to my chest, and then lower. “Can I—”

I grabbed her hand, stopping her descent. “Not necessary,” I said as a fond smile shaped my lips. “But thanks for offering.” Her cheeks pinked as I nodded to the paper bag she’d left on my desk. “I could go for half of whatever’s in that bag, though. Missed lunch.”

A small, delighted chuckle escaped her. “I’d be happy to share my Club sandwich with you, Rhys. I think it’s only fair since I’ve kept you otherwise engaged.”

“A Club sandwich? Shit, you’re just perfect, aren’t you?” I said, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. She flushed harder then reached behind her to grab the bag.

I tried to reach for it, but she swatted my hands away. “Nuh uh, your hands aren’t clean. I’ll have to feed you.”

My smile darkened. “Oh yeah?”

“Yep,” she nodded, a flirtatious sparkle in her eyes as she unwrapped the sandwich and brought it to my mouth. Not dropping her gaze, I took a hungry bite, chewing and swallowing while she took her own bite then offered it to me again. That was how it went, Charli in my lap passing the sandwich between us until we started on the other half, making short work of the lot of it.

When her eyes lowered to her appearance, she gave a shocked gasp like she’d just become aware of her state of undress. Hastily, she scrambled to her feet, and I missed her instantly.

“I’ve completely lost track of time. I need to get back.”

“You’ve a couple minutes before lunch is over,” I reassured. “Take your time.”

Her eyes flicked to the bathroom door. “Mind if I clean up a little in there?”

“Go ahead.”

She disappeared inside, and I took a moment to calm my racing pulse. Blood pumped through my veins, exhilarated and satisfied to have made Charli come. I already wanted to do it again and again. Not a good sign.

When she emerged, she shot me a shy smile, her outfit back to rights. You’d never guess what we’d just been doing.

“I’ll stop by your office at six, and we’ll drive out to Malahide together,” I said, standing and going to press a light kiss to her forehead.

“Right. It’s Friday already. The weeks just fly by,” she said, going up on her tiptoes to return my forehead kiss with one to my chin. “See you later, Rhys.”

With that, she left, and I was glad that the rest of the day was less eventful than the first half. On the drive that evening, it was all I could do not to reach across and slide my hand up Charli’s thigh. I managed to refrain. Just about.

It was a quiet, reflective drive, spent mostly in companionable silence. When we arrived at Jo and Padraig’s house, I noticed Nuala, Derek, and Tristan’s cars were already parked outside. I pressed my hand to Charli’s lower back as she dug in her bag for her key, unable to keep from touching her. Her eyes flicked to mine, and heat rose in her cheeks. I wondered if she was thinking about what had happened in my office at lunch because I certainly couldn’t get it out of my head.

“Charli, you’re home!” Jo exclaimed. “Oh, and Rhys is with you. Hello, darling.”

“Jo,” I said with a nod. “You look great as always. Did you get your hair done?”

“Just a trim, but thanks for noticing,” she replied, giving her ‘do a little fluff. “Anyway, I wasn’t in the mood to cook today so Padraig’s bringing home Indian food. I hope you both like spice.” She smiled, her eyes moving from me to Charli, a weirdly knowing smile on her lips like she’d been told a secret.

“What’s up with her?” I asked quietly as I bent to speak in Charli’s ear.

She shot me a mildly apologetic look. “Nuala let slip about us being a thing when we were teenagers.”

“Ah, that explains it.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Course not. It’s hardly a secret.”

“Okay, good. That’s a relief. Well, I’m just going to change into something more comfortable.”

I nodded, my eyes drifting to her perfectly plump arse as she went upstairs. Jo reappeared, catching me in the act, and the knowing smile returned.

“What?” I asked, eyebrows narrowing.

Jo gave a pleased little shrug. “You and my niece spending time together. I just like it, is all.”

Oh, she was going to be insufferable with this new knowledge, I could tell. Oddly, though, I couldn’t find it in myself to be annoyed. I was still flying high off the fact that I’d made Charli come, and I was intent on doing it again before the night was through.

It wasn’t until after we’d consumed our weight in poppadoms, mint chutney, and lamb madras that I found myself alone with her in the kitchen. Charli had nominated herself to clean up, and I’d volunteered to help. Nuala, Derek, and Tristan had all gone home, and Padraig and Jo were putting their feet up in the living room, watching a movie.

“Today was a good day,” Charli said, smiling at me as she put some plates in the cupboard.

“Agreed,” I answered back, drying off the final glass and setting the dishcloth aside before I reached out and laced my fingers through hers. “But it’s not over yet.”

“It isn’t?” she asked, her voice tinged with curiosity as I led her into the pantry and pulled her body flush with mine to gaze down at her.

“Not by a long shot.”