Quinn’s Battle (Team KOA Bravo #4)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Quinn couldn’t remember the last time he’d had sex outside. It sure hadn’t happened on a picnic blanket as the sun set in Hawaii. There were definite benefits to life out here. Especially if that life included Dahlia. Not that he’d expect full ranch access forever, much less a picnic fit for royalty and created at the drop of a hat because his friends were invested in his happiness.

Happiness was an unsettling thought. More so when tied to Dahlia. Hell, yes, he wanted to be happy, but he couldn’t rely on her. He had to find it within himself. Assuming she’d stick with him was a big risk.

“What’s bugging you?” she queried, drawing his attention. They’d chosen to go for a walk after the meal to enjoy the sunset before heading back to his cabin.

“How did they get your mom’s meatloaf?” he wondered.

She smiled. “Probably from your freezer. Her habits won’t change. If I ran off to Texas she’d find a way to keep me fed. It’s her love language.”

Holding hands, Quinn managed not to tense up at the “L” word. He’d only ever used it with his fiancée and that had ended worse than badly. Since then, he didn’t let his mind wander in that general direction. He was done taking chances with his heart.

“You’re saying she snuck food into my freezer at the cabin.”

“With help from Mia, Moana or Emery, I’m sure.”

“Of course.”

“That’s the way it is around here. Family is the glue.” She squeezed his hand. “I can tell that’s not your favorite thing about the island.”

He didn’t mean to be so obvious about it. He just didn’t have the frame of reference. “We’d better get going before we’re driving in the dark.”

“That’s why we have headlights.” She didn’t budge. “I’ll listen, Quinn.”

He knew that. Maybe her listening skills were harder to accept than the family concepts. “I’ve told you family isn’t my strong suit.”

She waited for him to continue. As if she had nothing else to do, ever.

Another mystery of Dahlia. She worked hard and played hard. He’d watched her when the bar was slammed or when he and the guys were nearly the only customers. She always made a person feel as if they had her complete focus. In fact, the crazier things got, the more she seemed to chill.

He wasn’t sure if he should be flattered, or demand answers on how she pulled it off. Eventually, her stoic silence won out. “The story isn’t awful or traumatic.”

“You said you went to foster care when you were five. That’s awful.”

He turned toward the horizon as the sun made its fiery exit in a blaze of orange, pink, and indigo. Turned away from the patient woman who tempted him to share too much. “I was too young to remember much.”

“Bullshit.” She stood right there and refused to accept his attempt to bail out of the conversation. “You remember your mom. You remember being left behind. That sucks, Quinn.”

“Yeah, it does.” He found himself wanting to tell her about the wedding that didn’t happen. “It adds up,” he began. “The foster system bounced me around, part of the process. And then I thought I could fix it by getting married.”

“Oh?”

There was a wealth of curiosity in that single syllable. But no judgment. No pushing. Which was probably why the whole damn story poured out of him.

“We were both twenty and way too young,” he said. “Being with her was exciting and easy. There were probably a dozen warning signs that I was rushing her, expecting too much.”

“You were happy,” she murmured.

“Happy and blind with it. She thought being a SEAL’s wife was cool. Until she didn’t. We did the whole wedding deal. A church full of her family and my friends and a big reception with a band. But on the day of, she didn’t show. Eventually, everyone left. The guys took me out, got me drunk, and kept an eye on me.” Dahlia was the only person to hear that detail. “Got a letter a few days later with the rings. She never tried to talk to me. I used to wonder why being left at the altar feels worse than my mother dumping me.”

Dahlia was quiet for several minutes. “Maybe it’s being an adult.” Her voice was as soft as the evening breeze. “You were probably more invested in the wedding and gaining control over your personal life. You trusted her and that’s a big deal.”

Something in his chest loosened as if she’d pulled the right string and the aching knot of old pain started unraveling. “Maybe.”

She rested a hand on his arm. “I know I’m lucky to have had a solid foundation from day one. Your foundation took longer, but you’re lucky too.”

He couldn’t have heard her right. “What?”

“Family isn’t just the one you’re born into. God help us all if that was the case.” She snorted. “Every person has problems. You did something rare and miraculous. You built the family you needed.”

And now his family, his brothers, were building something new. Building special connections that eventually wouldn’t include him.

The thought hit him so hard, his breath backed up in his lungs. He was a selfish bastard. Sure, he’d always suspected that truth, but having the epiphany after what had been a perfect date night made it all the more dreadful.

Carter, Bowie, and Flint had found relationships that were more important to them than the SEAL teams. They’d found priceless women to share in what came after their service. They had more to discover, to live for, and Quinn felt left behind.

If he admitted all of that to Dahlia, she’d ride off without him. And rightly so. “I’ve, um, never looked at it that way.”

She bumped his shoulder. “Then start. I’m happy I could help.”

He glanced down, helpless against her sweet grin. He kissed her gently. “You’re a marvel.”

“I am.” Her gaze turned molten and her fingertips danced up his chest. “And I’ll prove it all over again when we’re back at your place.”

She darted away, toward the motorcycles, and the drive back to the cabin was a test of patience and anticipation. What he’d missed couldn’t matter anymore. He’d made mistakes, tried too hard. Time to let those days and the ugly memories go. Better to appreciate what he had here and now. He would focus on what he’d gained—on purpose—through his honorary brothers.

Once Dahlia was in his arms again, he shoved thoughts of family aside and focused all of his attention on her. On them. On enjoying every second of this perfect interlude. He couldn’t expect it to last, but he could treasure each and every memory they were making.