Rating the Book Boyfriend (Book Boyfriend Builders)

10. Riggs

CHAPTER 10

Riggs

I approach the booth and find Mills and Salazar already waiting. “Sorry I’m late, guys. What did I miss?”

“We were talking about whether or not Salazar should shave his ’stache,” Mills informs me.

I survey the bush on top of my friend’s lip. “You look like a porn star.”

“From the seventies or eighties?”

Assessing him once again, I proclaim, “Definitely the eighties.”

“Cool. That’s what I was going for.”

Sliding in beside Mills, I motion the waitress to bring me my usual. “Then keep it. Some women love a good mustache ride.”

“Speaking of that, did you see Salazar’s shirt?”

My other friend leans back in his seat and straightens his Barbie-pink T-shirt with a bold black font that reads, Real men don’t just wear pink… they eat it.

A chuckle rumbles up from my chest. “Fuck almighty, man. You really shouldn’t be allowed to mingle with the normal people.”

“We could chain him to his bed,” Mills suggests. “Come by and feed him a couple times a day.”

“As long as one of those times is a nice juicy?—”

I interrupt. “Yeah, yeah. We get the idea.”

“You and Lady Lucifer—I mean, Lucinda—still in a slump?” Mills asks, taking a sip of his beer, and I grind my teeth together. I got a little drunk and frustrated a couple weeks ago and spilled the secret of our dry spell .

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I grump, and my friends share a knowing smile.

“That means yes,” Salazar says.

After the server drops off my McKenna on the rocks, I divert the conversation. “Mills, what’s going on with you?”

He leans forward and lowers his voice. “I saw that chick again. The hot one, and it was even more spectacular than the first time. This girl blows my fucking mind in bed.”

“And?”

“Well, you know I fuck with the lights off.”

“We’re all aware why you do that,” Salazar says with a smirk.

“Yeah, because I let my stupid ex talk me into having her name tattooed on my fucking cock.” He sighs and runs a hand over his blond hair. “I really like this new woman. A lot. She’s freaky as hell, but she’s also fun to be with. It was the best first date I’ve ever had.”

“So did you finally unveil your little surprise?”

“First of all, it’s not little , and second, yes, I did. I turned on the lamp when we were done. After I’d softened her up with a few orgasms.”

“What did she do?” Salazar asks, leaning forward like the fucking gossip he is.

“She was surprised, of course, and then… wait, let me back up. Did I tell you new girl’s name?” We both shake our heads, and he announces with a flair of his hands, “Erica.”

Salazar and I stare at him in shock for a long beat. “The same name as your ex? The same name that’s tattooed on your damn dick?” I ask.

“Yep,” Mills says, popping the P. “And she automatically thought I’d gotten the name tattooed on my penis for her .”

“Oh my fucking god,” Salazar breathes. “You told her the truth, right?”

“I was going to, but then she scooted down and started sucking me off. And let me tell you, the woman’s mouth is fucking amazing. She could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.”

Salazar and I slowly turn to look at each other in incredulity. “Why does this shit never happen to me?” he asks.

“Because you dress like a prepubescent whoremonger.”

Mills slaps the table to bring our attention back to him. “Like I was saying, I really like Erica—the new one—and now I don’t know what to do.”

I shake my head. “I have so many questions. Do you only date women named Erica? Like some kind of name fetish?”

“No, it was purely coincidental.”

“You have to tell her,” I insist.

At the same time, Salazar says, “Don’t tell her.”

We discuss this ridiculous subject for a few minutes, and Mills finally decides he wants to try and make things work with New Erica, so he’s going to tell her the next time they get together.

I turn to signal the server for another drink, and something yellow catches my eye. My heart rate practically doubles, and my legs push me to a standing position without my permission.

“Libby,” I say as the blonde bombshell walks past our table dressed in a cute yellow sundress with a cherry print. Her hair is in one long braid that hangs over her shoulder, and her lips match the fruits on her dress.

Her eyes widen for a second, and then her lips curve into a genuine smile. “Riggs, hi! What are you doing here?”

“I’m having drinks with some friends. What about you?”

“Same. They just left, and I was on my way out.”

“Do you… um, do you want to sit down?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” she says sweetly.

The skin over my chest tightens. “It wouldn’t be an intrusion at all.”

“Yeah, you can class up the table a bit,” Salazar throws in as he stands and flashes a huge smile beneath that porny mustache of his. “We’d love to have you.”

“Okay,” she says cheerily. “If you’re sure.”

“Positive,” the lothario says, holding out a hand. “I’m Penn Salazar.”

“Nice to meet you, Penn. I’m Libby Hill.” Then she giggles. “I like your shirt.”

“What about the ’stache?” He rubs a finger and thumb over the stupid facial hair.

Libby tilts her head and squints one eye. “You look like Ron Jeremy, pre-pot belly and receding hairline.”

“I take that as a compliment, milady,” he says with a little bow. Salazar is in full flirt mode, and it aggravates the shit out of me.

“I’m Ty Mills,” my other friend says, rising to shake her hand. “Have a seat.”

The only open seat is beside Salazar-the-mustachioed, so she sits there while I reluctantly take my place beside Mills.

“Sooo,” Salazar drawls, “how do you two know each other, and why haven’t you introduced us before?” He does the wide eyes across the table at me.

Libby gives me a soft smile that tells me she’s not going to spill the Book Boyfriend secret. “We know each other from the book community,” she says instead.

“Are you a model too?” he asks, propping his chin in his hand and giving her the full Penn Salazar treatment. “Because a beauty like you certainly should be.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“Libby is a romance author,” I offer.

“Do you write the spicy stuff?” he asks, waggling his eyebrows.

“Would you think less of me if I said yes?” she asks coyly, and Salazar laughs like that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

“Certainly not.” The asshole leans even closer, and all I want to do is put some kind of barrier in his face. Like my fist. “How do you get the inspiration for your spicy scenes? From personal experience?”

“More like wishful thinking,” she says with a wry grin.

My flirty-ass friend continues. “I’ve got a great idea for a book. A romance author—let’s call her Likky—meets a handsome, intelligent attorney who we’ll call Peen. She instantly falls for his superb facial hair and the witty pink T-shirt he’s wearing, so he offers her a mustache ride.”

Laughter bursts from her lips, and she slaps his arm. “Likky and Peen? You’re funny, Penn.”

“Funny-looking,” I mutter under my breath, earning me a quizzical look from Mills beside me.

“Just hear me out. What starts out as a bit of fun turns into the most sensual night of their lives.” He drops his voice to a sultry tone. “The charming Peen can’t get enough of the extremely gorgeous Likky, and he treats her like a fucking princess. They fall madly in love and ride off into the sunset in his red Ferrari. That would be fucking epic.”

Libby raises an eyebrow at him. “What do you do for a living, Penn?”

“Moi? Why, I’m a criminal defense attorney.”

“And what kind of car do you drive?”

“I have several, but my favorite is my vintage Ferrari.”

“Let me guess… red?”

“The same color as those lovely lips of yours,” he purrs. “And let me assure you, the resemblance to our masculine, well-endowed hero is purely coincidental.”

I hear a growling noise and realize it’s coming from my own throat. Mills elbows me.

“It’s a nice story, but there’s no conflict,” Libby says. “I pride myself on writing spicy stories that also have a plot.”

“Ooh, I’ve got a plot twist for you,” Mills adds, his green eyes sparkling with mischief. “The idiot hero has a best friend named… Romeo, who harbors a secret crush on the heroine.”

Now it’s my turn to throw an elbow—hard—and Mills yelps. Libby looks at him in concern, and he pounds the end of his fist against his chest and feigns a cough. “Sorry. Swallowed wrong.”

“Well, I think we’re getting somewhere with this story now,” she muses before leaning forward on her forearms. I try not to notice how that move pushes her cleavage up, but I am unsuccessful. “What if we make it really juicy, and Likky can’t decide between the two men?”

“How will she decide?” Mills asks, getting into the story now.

Libby purses her lips and rolls her eyes up to the ceiling. “Umm, maybe… Ooh, I know. There can be a fuck-off to see who she’s most compatible with.”

Every male member of our party chokes on their own fucking tongues, and Libby sits back with a huge grin on her face as we try to recover.

When he’s able to speak again, Salazar croaks out, “Oh, our hero, Peen, would definitely be the victor in that kind of contest.”

“Or maybe Likky likes an antihero,” she tosses out. “The one who treats her like a queen in the streets and a slut between the sheets.”

I need another fucking drink. Now.

Mills and Salazar are openly gaping at her while I’m frantically waving my arm for the server. I’ve never met a woman who’s so cool about sex talk with three guys. Maybe it’s her profession that makes her so nonchalant.

I see the server nod and hold up one finger as Libby announces, “I’m running to the restroom.”

“You want me to order you a drink?” I ask, and she smiles.

“I’ve had a few, so maybe I’ll just get a coffee.”

“Macchiato with one cream and two-and-a-half sugars?” I ask.

She looks surprised and… pleased, which makes me feel pretty fucking pleased myself. “Yes please.”

As soon as she’s out of earshot, Salazar practically launches himself across the table until he’s only a few inches from my face. “Oh my fucking god, Romero. I think I’m in love.”

I give him a playful shove that’s more forceful than I intend. “Sit down, you fuckwit. You just met her.”

Bouncing back in his seat, his eyes go dreamy. “They say when you know, you know. And I know she’s going to be the first Mrs. Salazar.”

“The first?” Mills snorts. “How many wives do you plan to have?”

“Well, my dad is on his fifth, but he probably has his eye on Miss Number Six as we speak.”

The waitress drops by, and we order drinks and a bunch of appetizers before Ty starts in on Penn again.

“Are you blind, Salazar?”

He waves a hand in front of his face and frowns. “No, I think I’m good.”

Mills reaches across the table and smacks him on the side of the head. “I’m talking about the obvious. Romero likes Libby.”

“No I don’t,” I insist, as Penn’s eyes snap to mine. Then a myriad of expressions crosses his face, from confusion to realization. “I don’t like her,” I drive home.

He wags a finger at me. “Yes you do. Why the hell didn’t I notice?”

“Because you were too busy sticking your head up Libby’s ass,” I retort.

“Jealousy. Yep, he definitely likes her,” Ty says with a chuckle before turning to face me. “Why don’t you ask her out?”

“I have a girlfriend.” Even I can hear the regretful tone in my voice.

“Dude, your nana would not want you to stay with someone you have no chance of ever falling in love with.”

I avert my eyes. “You didn’t see the look on her face the first time I told her I was dating Lucinda. Nana and Lucinda’s grandmother were best friends, and she told me they had always dreamed that their grandchildren would one day get together. Plus, Lucinda’s father runs my fucking company.”

My two friends look at each other, and I can see the pity in their eyes. They’re the only ones I can really be honest with about my relationship. I don’t even tell Silvia everything.

“Riggs,” Penn says, sounding uncharacteristically serious, “your nana and papa were the perfect love story. She would want nothing less for you. Just explain it to her.”

“But she’s so happy, and her health has improved drastically over the past year. I can’t… I can’t risk disappointing her and seeing her health decline.”

I rub a hand over my heart to try and quell the ache that’s formed there at the thought of losing Nana Viv, especially if I contribute to that by upsetting her.

“She’s coming back,” Penn mutters, glancing over my shoulder before letting out a very loud, very fake laugh. We all follow suit like we hadn’t just been talking about some serious shit.

“What’s so funny?” Libby asks, sitting down and grinning at us.

“We were just talking about Ty’s penis tattoo,” Penn blurts out. “Get this, about a year ago, he was crazy for this girl, and she wanted him to get her name tattooed on his dick to prove his love for her.”

Libby frowns. “And did you?”

Ty rolls his eyes. “I did, and then she left me two weeks later.”

She covers her cherry lips with one hand. “That’s terrible. Can you get it removed?”

Ty lifts an eyebrow. “Do you have any idea how painful laser tattoo removal can be? Especially in such a… delicate area.”

“His penis is very delicate. And tiny,” Penn says, earning him a middle finger from our other friend. “Anyway, her name was Erica, and now Ty is dating another woman named Erica, and when she saw the tat, she thought he had it done for her.”

Libby’s mouth drops almost to the floor. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Wh-what does the new Erica look like?”

“Totally fucking hot,” Ty replies, closing his eyes. “Dark hair, and these nerdy glasses that make her look like a sexy librarian.”

“Oh my fuck,” she whispers, blinking rapidly.

“I know,” Ty laments. “And I really like her a lot. I want to see if this can go somewhere between us, but now I feel like I’ve started our relationship out on a lie. At the same time, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Maybe you could give me a woman’s perspective on what to do.”

Libby purses her lips and lifts her eyebrows before shocking the hell out of us all. “Seeing as how the Erica you’re talking about is one of my friends and she was just telling me this story about an hour ago?—”

“No fucking way!” Penn yells, and she nods.

“Yes fucking way. Ty, you really need to tell her. Erica likes you a lot but she’s a little concerned that you’re a stalky weirdo who got his peen tattooed after being together one time. I can assure you, if you tell her the truth, she’ll understand.”

Four sets of eyes dart between one another before the ridiculousness of the situation hits us at the same time, and all we burst into laughter.

“Um, I have your food and drinks,” the server says, looking concerned at the crazy folks in her booth. “Is everything okay here?”

“Fine,” Libby says, wiping tears of mirth from beneath her eyes before pointing at Ty. “We’re just trying to help our friend with an unfortunate penis incident.”

The waitress quickly slides her entire tray onto the table and sprints back to the kitchen as another bout of hilarity roars from our table.

Could this woman be any more perfect?