Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

29

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A V R I L

Another day went by where Koen and I didn’t speak to each other. It was a good opportunity to be with my friends and do anything other than think about what I shouldn’t feel for the mate I never had. After what he had told me, I’m sure he had his own problems to take care of, too.

And whenever I let my guard down, I found myself feeling guilty for not being there for him after he confided in me.

But then again, he hadn’t been there for me for the past five years. The one time I needed him to stand up for me, to protect me from his father’s cruelty, he didn’t. So, I learned not to rely on anyone else. Perhaps he should, too.

“I think he already has,” Kea chimed in, to my surprise.

Confused, I had to ask, “Why do you say that?”

“It doesn’t seem like he has many friends, don’t you agree?”

Her suggestion made me stop and ponder. During the weeks I had spent at Whispering Hills, I couldn’t recall seeing him with other people often. It didn’t strike me as particularly weird, considering that his position left little time to hang out with friends. His best friend was probably his beta, and they did spend a lot of time together. Though it didn’t seem like they were as close as they used to be before I was exiled from the pack.

“Look, you’re not gonna like this, but…” She sighed, pausing briefly before continuing, “I don’t think you and Koen are all that different.”

Damn right, I didn’t like that. I honestly couldn’t see what the both of us had in common other than being alphas.

Kea didn’t leave me to wonder. “Just like you, he also lost his parents. It’s obvious he has trust issues, which makes him isolate himself from the others around him,” she pointed out. “But instead of being forced into that position, I think he chose to distance himself from his family and friends to defend what he believes in.”

“I don’t follow,” I admitted.

My wolf huffed. “He’s nothing like his father, Avril. I truly believe he wants to do better than Rockwell.”

“Well, I think he made that clear when he confessed to having chosen his pack over me,” I muttered, bitterness coating my tongue.

“Can you blame him?” Kea pressed.

Again, I paused. Maybe back then I did. When I was younger, an omega who was bullied by everyone, I longed to find the one who would love me despite my bloodline. I would have given up everything for the matebond, but to be fair, I didn’t have much to lose. After becoming an alpha, my actions started impacting others, too. My heart shrunk at the idea of forsaking the people who depended on me.

I bit my tongue. There was no way I would ever admit to feeling empathy for Koen, not even to my wolfish conscience. As long as I didn’t say the words out loud, it wasn’t true.

“Whatever,” I mumbled, eager to put an end to this conversation. Thankfully, Kea let me be.

“Why are you all up in your head?” Elijah suddenly snapped at me, tilting his head as he examined me across the table.

Once Theo heard his mate’s question, he switched his attention from his breakfast to me, a quizzical expression on his face. He tended to be distracted easily, especially if there was food involved, while Elijah had always been more sensitive. I guess my conversation with my wolf had been longer than I realized, and my gamma certainly noticed it.

Taking a bite of the food I had barely touched, I replied, “Nothing. Kea was just pestering me, that’s all.” I shrugged, hoping to dismiss him.

Judging by how he squinted his eyes slightly to study me, I knew he wasn’t buying it. He would have pushed me, had someone else not joined our conversation.

“Hey, omega.”

No one addressed me by that title in ages. I wouldn’t have assumed they were talking to me had it not sounded so familiar. I had heard that same voice, full of disgust and superiority, call me that exact same way for almost two decades. Out of instinct, I glanced over my shoulder to find Beta Gregor standing behind me.

He was definitely talking to me, though I couldn’t understand why. Gregor has ignored me most of the time since I returned to Whispering Hills. It seemed he preferred to let me know he didn’t enjoy my presence by dirty looks rather than words. So why was he seeking me, on a Saturday of all days? There was no warrior training today, and the ranked members were free to just relax. I doubted his idea of an ideal day-off involved me.

When I just stared at him in silence, he groaned, “The Alpha summons you to his office.”

I almost coughed on my food. “What?”

This situation made less sense by the second.

“You heard me; Alpha Koen wants you in his office. Hurry up!” Gregor barked.

It was obvious my friends didn’t appreciate his tone. I could feel the shift in their mood without even looking at them, but I needed to shoot them a glare to stop them from standing up and challenging the beta of Whispering Hills. Once they realized what they were doing, they remembered our fake identities and remained still in their seats, though their eyes never left Gregor.

“Alright,” I told the beta at last before things escalated. “Let’s go.”

With a scowl on his face, Gregor turned to lead the way. Not wanting to cause a scene, I followed him closely, anger bubbling up in my throat - not only toward the rude second-in-command but also toward his leader. How dare Koen send his subordinate to fetch me? Well, I guess he wasn’t sure I would go with him had he come to get me himself. Low blow. Smart, but a low blow regardless.

Before I could let my anger take over, a light provided me with a moment of clarity. While I didn’t appreciate being bossed around and having my breakfast interrupted, I was reminded of where the alpha’s office was located - the third floor of the packhouse. It was a golden opportunity to search for the urn. Even if I couldn’t retrieve it with Koen and his beta around, knowing the exact location of the artifact would allow me and my team to be more precise when the time came for us to put our plan into action.

I had already briefly explored the second floor on the day I managed to break into the beta suite, but I had never set foot on the third floor. As soon as we climbed the last flight of stairs on our way to the alpha’s office, my eyes immediately scoured through the hallway. There was no need to be discreet, since Gregor had his back to me; all that mattered was being quick and efficient. Unluckily, I couldn’t find what I was looking for among the fancy paintings and magnificent statues decorating the area.

Focused on my search, I didn’t notice we had made it to our destination until Gregor’s voice sounded. “Here she is, Alpha.”

I blinked twice, realizing that the door was already open. Koen was sitting behind his desk, but he rose from his chair the moment our eyes met. He didn’t smile, as he usually did. Something in his demeanor differed from how he had been these last few days. He looked more serious, and less…flirty.

“Avril,” he greeted me. “Thank you for coming. I apologize for the urgency,” he said casually, straightening his dress shirt.

Why was he wearing work clothes on a Saturday?

“It’s no problem. What can I help you with, Alpha?” I mustered a smile, watching his face fall subtly when I addressed him formally.

His gaze lingered on me for a moment before he eyed his beta. “Thank you, Gregor. You can leave us.” At his command, the man nodded and closed the door. Then, his attention was back at me. “Can I offer you a drink?”

“I don’t-” I prepared myself to refuse, but before I could finish, he pointed at the coffee counter.

“I mean coffee,” he clarified, already turning to the coffee machine. “What’ll it be? An espresso? Cappuccino?”

“Uh…I’ll take an espresso,” I replied.

Once Koen turned his back to me to begin preparing my drink, I seized the opportunity to take a quick look around his office. It was fairly organized, making it easy to scan the place for the item I sought. I could hear him talking in the background as he tried to explain why he wanted to see me. I heard him mention some sort of alpha meeting, but I was barely listening, until a single statement echoed in my ears.

“I would be flattered if you would come with me as my plus one.”

My search was brought to a halt - it didn’t matter anyway, as the urn didn’t seem to be here either. My eyes widened as I processed his request. Why the hell did Koen want me to accompany him to a business event? I couldn’t help but blame it on the moves he had been making on me for the past few days. I thought I had made it clear to him that I had no interest in being closer to him, but…

“Before you freak out, no, this has nothing to do with how I behaved that day by the tall tree,” he said, as if he could read my mind. A semblance of sadness flashed in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as he blinked. “I’m sorry, by the way. It was inappropriate. I assumed that you…” He held his breath, shaking his head afterward. “Doesn’t matter.” He stepped closer to me, offering me the espresso he had just prepared.

“This is strictly business-related,” the alpha assured me, looking straight into my eyes. There were no signs that he was lying; his heart rhythm was normal, his breath wasn’t hitched. Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t fully believe him. “Whispering Hills is in desperate need of new alliances. It’ll be extremely helpful if you accompany me as a representative of Azure Smoke…” He made a brief pause. “Especially if you act as if we’re already allies.”

I was shocked, but not because he was asking me to lie to other leaders. Although his explanation actually made sense, it was not something I thought Koen would propose, not with the way he had been treating me lately. He wanted to use me for his pack’s benefit.

Maybe Kea was wrong about him after all.

Either way, I found some comfort in his words. Perhaps he was just messing around with me and would finally keep his distance. Still, leaving with him for a weekend business trip would mean postponing my mission yet again.

But, did I actually have a choice here? It might have sounded like a request, yet considering what an important role I would play for the future of his pack, it seemed like I couldn’t refuse. Especially if I wanted him to believe I had any intention of forming an alliance with him.

“What do you say, Avril?” Koen pressed, his penetrating gaze demanding an answer.

Holding a sigh behind a fake smile, I finally gave in. “It would be an honor.”