Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

40

A V R I L

Time stood still as my vision tunneled in on the artifact before me. After weeks of intense scheming and countless failures, I had finally found it - just when I’d gotten sidetracked from my mission. What an ironic twist of fate.

My head throbbed, and my pulse pounded as adrenaline surged through me. The pressure crushed me, but I couldn’t delay any longer. Fate had brought me to a crossroads, and with two paths before me, I had to choose.

Either my head or my heart. Family or fate. I could continue to pursue my goals or take a leap of faith. Where did my happiness lie? It was a cruel question to answer in a fraction of a second.

“We can have both,” Kea’s faint voice suddenly echoed in my mind.

I wanted to believe her, but I lacked the optimism. “How?” I countered.

It was a rhetorical question she couldn’t answer because, deep down, she knew the tragic truth. In a passionate daze, I tried to deny it earlier. I made up fake possibilities to endorse my fantasy, but that was all it was - a sweet dream.

“Be realistic, Kea. We are the Alphas of the Ashen Wolves - a Lazarus Taxon, resurrected and surviving in the shadows,” I reminded her. “If we want to survive, we need the ashes of the Sacred Banyan.” My gaze locked onto the urn again. “That, and time. Time to grow stronger. To bathe in our powers. We can’t leave Azure Smoke, and we can’t bring anyone else in either. It would be too risky.”

“If we talk to Koen-”

“It won’t help, Kea!” I chided, making her lower her ears. She knew that I was right. “This is a decision that we have to make by ourselves. We can either follow through with our plan to save our people, or give it all up to rekindle the flames of a broken bond.”

I hadn’t yet admitted it to myself, but at my core, I knew there was only one path we could tread. In a sudden epiphany, the answer came to me. It made my heart heavy, but brought my mind peace.

With a more mature perspective, I understood that my return to Whispering Hills hadn’t been a bad thing. I was able to let go of my resentment after hearing the truth from Koen. Now that I find myself in the exact spot he had been in five years ago, I can better understand his choice. When Koen found himself mated to me, he had to make a choice - it was either me or his pack. As an alpha, I respect his decision.

And now, as destiny forced me to do the same, I prayed he would respect it too.

With my mind made up, I finally broke my gaze away from the urn to spare one last glance at the man sleeping serenely beside me. Images flashed before me as I fantasized about the life we could have had in a different universe, where neither of us were bound by duty. It hurt, but the truth was that our story had ended years ago. It was time to close the book and stop holding on to it. Nothing either of us did would change the ending.

I closed my eyes, switching to alpha mode as I let go of my emotions. Kea gave a final low whimper before raising her head, and we were in synchrony again. Carefully, I untied myself from Koen’s arms. He shifted but didn’t wake up. Climbing out of bed, I gathered my clothes from the floor and walked ever so lightly to the shelf, staring at the urn for another moment before taking it in my arms.

Without looking back, I sneaked out of the alpha chambers.

Another wave of adrenaline pumped through my veins as I silently exited the empty packhouse. Wasting no time, I established a mindlink with both my beta and gamma. Since it was past midnight, and they were probably asleep, it took them a moment to answer.

“Pack our things and meet me at the south border,” I instructed them hurriedly. “We’re leaving.”

I could sense their confusion through our bond, but they didn’t ask any questions. They were good at following commands, and they certainly understood there must be a reason for my urgency. When they saw the object in my hands as they approached our meeting spot, realization washed over their faces.

Theo stepped forward, placing one hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure?” he asked simply, knowing what my decision implied.

Grief flashed in his eyes as I nodded, but he didn’t argue, returning the gesture. I wrapped the urn in my jacket to keep it safe, then packed it in my backpack. Once everything was in order, the three of us shifted, disappearing into the woods.

And I left Whispering Hills, aching, yet freed from the past, ready to never return again.

K O E N

I was accustomed to the loneliness of sleeping alone. Even during the two years I was married to Nerine, we spent the night in separate rooms. Avril had given me a glimpse of how wonderful it could be to share a bed a couple of days ago, but my condition at the time prevented me from fully enjoying it. Tonight, however, she finally showed me just how wonderful it could be.

Her soothing fragrance enveloped me like calming incense, filling me with a profound peace. Like a fireplace on the coldest winter night, she sheltered me. With her in my arms, nothing else mattered. As I drifted to sleep, I prayed the morning would delay its arrival, for I wasn’t sure whether she would choose to stay with me once the sun came up.

When the light pierced through the gaps in my curtains and I couldn’t keep my eyes shut any longer, I inhaled deeply, bracing myself for her verdict. But as my eyelids fluttered open, I realized she wasn’t by my side anymore.

I sat up in bed, still groggy from the best night of sleep I’d ever had. My eyes slowly scanned the room, searching for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Taking a closer look, I noticed her clothes were gone too. Where had she gone?

In a panic, I shot up. My heart raced, though I couldn’t understand why. I shouldn’t be scared. There were a million reasons why she might have left my room. Still, irrational fear quickly took hold as if I dreaded never seeing her again.

In an attempt to stay calm, I took deep breaths while getting dressed. Once ready, I rushed out of the alpha suite. Thinking clearly proved challenging with Columbus nervously pacing around my head. He tried to pick up on her scent, hoping to follow it. Strangely enough, the further I moved from my room, the weaker her fragrance became.

When I confirmed that she wasn’t anywhere inside the packhouse, the town square, or the cafeteria, it grew impossible to keep ignoring my fear. I fought to stay positive; there were still a few places where she could be. Just to be safe, I linked the head of the scouts and ordered him to send some of his men looking for her.

As I stood outside the guest suite where she had been staying, that’s when I started giving in to panic. Even if I still couldn’t smell her near, I knocked on her door, hoping maybe my senses had been weakened by the energy Columbus was spending to heal my body. When nobody answered after a dozen knocks, despair got the best of me and I kicked the door down.

Absolute dread consumed me when I found her room completely empty. There were no personal belongings lying around. No trace of her at all. My next move was to take down the door of her friends’ suite, only to be greeted by the same vacancy. If even her stuff was gone, there was no point looking for her at the tall tree - the last place I thought of checking.

I couldn’t shut out the most terrible possibilities for her disappearance anymore. What if someone had taken her? My scouts hadn’t warned me about anyone roaming our borders recently, but it wasn’t impossible for someone to have snuck in unnoticed. Maybe one of the alphas who were at the meeting could have decided to take advantage of my obvious infatuation with her. They might have thought that, by kidnapping her, they would weaken me.

If that was the case, they were right.

Moved by desperation alone, fearing she could be in real danger, I mindlinked the leader of my trackers. “Roger,” I greeted him as soon as he answered.

“Yes, Alpha?” he replied instantly.

“I can’t find Avril,” I revealed.

This time, it took him a moment to ask, “The omega from that other pack?”

I didn’t have time to clarify my fears. “I want your team to search for her. Don’t come back until you’ve found her,” I demanded.

Although clearly shocked, he obliged, “Yes, Alpha. We’re leaving immediately.”

In shambles after failing to find her, I returned to my room. For now, all I could do was wait for the trackers’ report. Her scent still enveloped the alpha suite, and inhaling it made me calm. Despite how badly I wanted to leave and look for her myself, I knew it wasn’t the best strategy. I needed a clear mind in order to find her. A single second wasted on a wrong move could be the difference between saving or losing her.

As I paced around my room, too distressed to sit down, my gaze landed on a specific spot, and my silent prayers were suddenly answered - clarity dawned on me.

There was something missing from one of my shelves - an old urn, one of my father’s trophies. I didn’t know much about it, except that it was connected to an ancient legend about powerful shifters. Though it was just a myth, I never felt the need to throw it away, so it stayed when I moved in. It didn’t mean much to me, which is why I hadn’t noticed its absence with my mind racing.

However, its disappearance on the exact day Avril vanished seemed more than just a coincidence. As I started piecing things together, it hit me: Avril hadn’t been kidnapped - she had run away of her own free will, and she had taken a souvenir with her.

Though I had found one answer, a hundred more questions arose, and the only person who could help me figure them out had left.