Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

39

A V R I L

It all happened too fast for me to process it rationally. One second, I was listening to Koen’s emotional declaration - the next, my mouth was on his as my feelings took over.

I was running on nothing but raw desire and raging passion as he carried me up the stairs to the top floor of the packhouse, my legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck. As soon as he set me down, we began tearing at each other’s clothes before we even reached his room. Without breaking our kiss, my fingers quickly undid the remaining buttons of his half-open dress shirt, eagerly running up and down his bare stomach. In response, he briefly pulled away to lift my sweatshirt over my head, tossing it aside before hungrily resuming where we left off.

Half-naked, Koen picked me up again and walked into his room, sloppily closing the door however he could without letting go of me. Unceremoniously, he laid me over his luxurious king-sized bed, taking his mouth off of mine to start kissing every inch of my skin. I ravished each second as his lips traveled down my chin, neck, shoulders, around my breasts, and down my belly. With ease, he unzipped my jeans, leaving me in only my underwear before proceeding to remove his own pants.

Kneeling between my legs in his boxers, he suddenly hit the brakes. His eyes roamed over me as he panted, all of his urgency gone. I waited, stretched out on the mattress beneath him, anticipating his next move over the drumming of my heartbeat. With gentle affection, he leaned down, intertwining his left hand with my right while the other traced the bandages on my arm.

His unexpected gesture sent a chill down my spine. Reality pierced through the blur of lust, and I instinctively withdrew my arm. I hadn’t hesitated to strip naked in front of him, but I couldn’t risk him seeing my mark.

A sigh escaped his lips as he redirected his fingers to cup my chin, gently encouraging me to meet his gaze. “One day,” he began, drawing closer, “I hope you’ll trust me enough to show me all of you, including your scars.”

Koen's glance flickered to my bandages, causing my heart to skip a beat as I remembered the lie I had told him. A wave of guilt washed over me, but it quickly subsided as I listened to his next words. “But for now, I’m content that you trust me enough to do this.” And with that, he carefully pressed his mouth back to mine.

My former mate’s sweet taste slowly washed away the bitterness of guilt, reigniting the fire within me. Goosebumps erupted across my skin as his hands thoroughly explored my curves, while my fingers traced the contours of his muscular body, feeling each muscle flex with his slightest movement.

For once, I didn’t feel sinful. My mind was fully focused on what it wanted, and I wanted - no, I craved - him . Embracing the truth, I grasped the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down, freeing his erection. He groaned against my mouth in relief before turning his attention to my underwear, tearing it away with a couple precise slashes of his claws.

A moan escaped me as he seized one of my breasts, giving it a firm squeeze. Heat consumed me, my body arching into him as I yearned for more contact between us. At that moment, I felt his dick twitch against my pelvis, and I didn’t hesitate to wrap my fingers around him. My touch drew a gasp from him, his head falling back in pleasure as our kiss broke once more.

As I began stroking his hard length, he reached between my legs, sliding two fingers between my folds. I cried out as he teased my clit, moving my own thumb to circle his crown, rubbing his pre-cum all over it. I couldn’t take the burning within me any longer. We were both hot, wet, and ready - I longed to feel him inside me.

“Koen,” I called out to him, hoping it would be enough for him to understand what I needed.

“Say it,” he replied. “I need to know that this is what you really want.”

“Fuck,” I complained, groaning. Did he really have to hear me say it?

To hell with it.

“I want you,” I panted, “to fuck me.”

“Shit, Avril,” he hissed. “I’ll give you what you want.”

Eager to fulfill my request, he lowered himself. I helped position his cock at my entrance before letting it go, bracing myself for him to plunge into me, and he delivered. With a single thrust, he slid all the way inside of me. Waves of electricity shot through me, my pussy pulsing around him as he stretched me, forcing me to accommodate him. A cry of ecstasy broke through my mouth, and my fingers dug into his biceps.

After an impossibly long moment, he began to move. As if probing me, he would nearly withdraw before slowly pushing all the way back in, each motion excruciatingly slow. I shifted beneath him, thrusting my hips to meet his. On the brink of madness, I felt like I was about to catch fire - I needed him faster, deeper.

Yet, as if to provoke me, he stopped completely, ripping a whine from me.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked, to my disbelief.

I had to blink a few times. “No,” I answered, biting my lip. “But you’re killing me with how slow you’re moving.”

A sheepish smile curled onto his lips. “Sorry. I’m kind of new to this, so bear with me," he said, trying to play it off.

He started moving again, lowering his head to trail kisses along my collarbone, but confusion prevented me from ignoring his confession. “What do you mean? Didn’t you and Nerine-”

“I never felt attracted to her,” he cut me off the second I mentioned her name, as if he didn’t want to be reminded of her - not now. “The only woman I ever wanted to be with…” Thrusting in once more, he interrupted his sentence to let out a groan. Planting a kiss on my neck, he concluded, “Was you.”

A while ago, I would have doubted him. Yet, after everything he had been telling me these days, his statement wasn’t as shocking as it probably should have been. It was, however, strangely exciting. Kea growled possessively inside my head, satisfied to know we were his first. And the thought made me even hotter.

At last, Koen started picking up the pace, taking my mind off of our brief conversation completely, until all I could concentrate on was us. I closed my eyes, and every sensation was immediately heightened. The sound of our bodies clashing echoed in my ears, driving me to madness. I was getting close when he began losing speed again, and I realized that something was wrong.

Opening my eyes, I glanced at the wound on his side. It wasn’t bleeding, but if he kept it up, I was afraid his recent stitches might open. Knowing full-well he would protest if I questioned him about it, I simply used my strength to flip us, climbing on top of him instead.

Koen’s eyes glowed intensely, denouncing his hunger as I pinned him down. “For an omega, you do seem to like being in control,” he teased.

A smirk played on my lips. “For an alpha, you seem too eager to give it up,” I countered, sitting on him, taking all of him up to the base of his cock.

Our groans of pleasure mixed as I felt him reach deeper than ever, his head touching the back of my womb.

“For you, I’d give up anything and everything,” he vowed, and I sensed him relaxing beneath me, allowing me to take full control.

The way he submitted called straight to my alpha genes, awakening the more primal side of me. There was something impossibly hot about this powerful alpha willingly putting himself at my mercy, and I would take full advantage of it.

I began slowly, savoring how much deeper I could feel him in this position, but it drained the last of my sanity. As lust consumed me entirely, I started moving faster, pounding down onto him. The harder I took him in, the less control I had over myself.

The animalistic sounds escaping both of us filled the room, an erotic melody blending with the rhythm of me slamming down on him. It was too much. Sexual tension had been building up between us over the past weeks, and when we finally let our bodies talk, we were both already on the edge.

With the heat in my core quickly expanding to the rest of my body, I felt Koen tense up. My hands moved to his chest for support, while he clutched my asscheeks, guiding my movements, urging me closer as if he hoped for us to become one.

And, with one final, erratic thrust, we reached our climaxes together.

I heard Koen scream out my name as he exploded inside of me. My vision went black as absolute pleasure took over, and I collapsed on top of him. Every time my throbbing walls squeezed him, his cock twitched in return, shooting a new wave of ecstasy through me, lengthening my orgasm.

With my head on his heaving chest, I listened to the sound of his heartbeat as I slowly came back down, both catching our breaths. He snaked his arms around my back, as if he feared I would sneak away. I didn’t know what would be of us after this, but I wanted to dwell in a world where I wasn’t forced to make a decision a little longer.

Until Koen broke the silence. “Don’t go back to Azure Smoke,” he blurted out, too quickly for me to even process it.

My eyes widened as I lifted myself off of him, just enough to look at him. “What?”

“Stay with me,” he pleaded in all seriousness. “I don’t need an alliance, Avril. I just need you.” He reached forward, giving me a peck on the lips. Cupping my face, he added, “Be my Luna.”

Yet again, I spiraled inside my own head as his last phrase echoed on repeat.

Be my Luna .

It reminded me once more that he had no idea who I truly was - of who I had become - and guilt swept back, flooding me. Up until now, I had been desperate to keep my true identity hidden, but after the moment we had just shared, it suddenly felt wrong to continue to lie to him.

“Tell him,” Kea pushed me. With my mind still hazy in its after-sex state, it was the last bit of encouragement I needed.

Inhaling a deep breath, I readied myself. “Koen, I-”

“Shh,” he stopped me, bringing his lips closer to mine again. “You don’t have to give me an answer now,” he reassured me, brushing my face with his fingers. The passion in his eyes warmed me. “Sleep on it. Let me know in the morning.”

I had a moment of courage, but then it was gone. Unsure of what to say, I simply nodded. As he released me, I climbed off him and lay by his side. When I rested my head on his chest, he cradled me in his arms again, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, I had drifted off.

It was the middle of the night when I suddenly woke up. I was still in Koen’s arms, with him sound asleep beside me. He looked so peaceful, I couldn’t help but stare. I watched him take short, quiet breaths, as I tried to make up my mind.

What should I do? I certainly couldn’t stay at Whispering Hills, nor did I want to. Koen was the only one I was fond of here, and even that was still recent. However, I could tell him the truth. Maybe we could unite our packs, or figure out a way to align our alpha duties with our relationship.

But was it worth giving us another chance? Although Koen had managed to melt the ice around my heart, it wasn’t enough to tear down my walls completely. Ever since he broke my heart, I had built a fortress to protect myself from feeling that pain again. I had told myself that love isn’t real for so long. Was I ready to find out if I had been wrong all along?

Amidst my pondering, my gaze fell upon a rather distinct object. Lost in thought, I almost didn’t notice it at first. But there was no denying it. I stiffened, blinking repeatedly, expecting it to be a mirage that would vanish once I came to my senses. Yet it never did. It was really there, casually sitting on one of the shelves.

The urn .