Relentless Sinner

Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Gabriella

I stand by the floor-to-ceiling window on the landing watching Jaxon’s car pull out. I can just about see him sitting in the back seat. He was looking back, too. I’m not sure if he could see me or, knowing him, maybe he sensed my presence and knew I was watching.

I wonder what he was thinking.

Did he suspect anything?

No… that’s my paranoia screwing with me. If Jaxon suspected anything untoward there’s no way he’d leave me to go anywhere.

He would never ever leave me if he knew today is the day I plan to escape. To leave him .

His trip to Italy is important but definitely not more important than marrying me.

It’s hard to have him in my head and not think about the way we’ve been for the last few days. It was like we couldn’t get enough of each other. And like I couldn’t get enough of him .

I can’t deny that I lost my mind and myself and I purposely stayed lost, wanting to wade through his darkness until it swallowed me whole and devoured me.

Every time he was inside me pieces of me slipped away from my control. His touch and his consuming kisses kept me there, whispering to me to stay and be corrupted. And that’s exactly what I did.

If he were still here I would probably have missed Cora’s call, and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I would still be in bed with Jaxon with him buried deep inside me.

I can’t even think of myself as the level-headed girl anymore and I know that neither Natasha nor Cora would have succumbed to the dark side the way I did.

I don’t know anyone who would.

The car speeds down the driveway before it turns the corner and I can’t see it anymore. I keep staring, though, as if I still can, the trepidation in my heart warning me that this plan of mine has bad idea written all over it.

It’s too sketchy and uncertain.

It’s too…

It just doesn’t feel right.

Cora managed to arrange everything we spoke about on her end. To minimize the risk of being caught she didn’t explain too much on the phone. But she didn’t need to.

The moment she used the code word sunshine and gave certain references to the sun and made it sound like she was giving me some positive affirmations, I understood the lengths she must have gone to.

All I have to do is get to the hospital and follow the clues she left me. That’s it.

If all goes well, by tomorrow at this time I’ll be in Spain. In the sunshine. And free.

My soul wants to hope but my heart…

Now that’s the problem. Apart from the worry stirring in my core like a whirlpool of thunder, my heart is conflicted.

I’ve been trying to play the game and keep things sweet here, but at no point was I acting. I’m not even sure if I tried.

I think the fleeting idea may have crossed my mind once on that night after my wedding dress fitting. Then I kissed Jaxon and all that bravado and thinking I could play the Bratva boss went out the window.

If anything I played myself right into a trap I never saw coming. Just like with all traps. I fell right in then ensnared myself by allowing him to reach past my soul and unlock the deepest parts of my being.

Now I’m torn because I’m worried the plan won’t work. But in my heart I’m worried about leaving him.

I worry because of the hard truth that hit me as I kissed him goodbye. The truth that said to me I’d never meet anyone else like him. No one who would make me feel this way.

It terrifies me to think I may be in love with him, yet I know that I sound like I am.

Is this the way love works?

So powerfully and so quickly?

We haven’t known each other for long but it feels like we’ve shared several lifetimes.

It feels foolish to be twenty-four years of age and not recognize something so simple as love. I wouldn’t, though, because I’ve never been in love before. My father blocked anything that felt close in its tracks.

But nothing I’ve ever felt with anyone has been close to this feeling in my heart for a man who stole me away from my life.

The truth is my enemy and my friend. But no one can serve two masters. Loyalty to one will always overpower the other. In my case it’s the tipping scale of the truth. It’s leaning more toward being my enemy because Jaxon has more bad about him than good.

I have a chance to leave. I know that regardless of this feeling in my heart, if I don’t try, I’ll always regret it. I’ll always wonder what could have happened.

I know it works the other way around, too. I’ll wonder what my life could have been like if I’d stayed with him. It’s just that fighting for my freedom means I took back control of my life.

That can’t be wrong. Wanting control of my life and not being shackled to a contract my father forced me to sign doesn’t feel wrong.

If that’s true then maybe, just maybe, the plan might work.

That’s the part I have to believe.

“Morning, Gabriella,” Eve says, walking up to me.

I pull my gaze away from the window, look at her, and place a smile on my face. It’s time to actually start playing the game. “Morning.”

“I thought I’d come and see if you were in the mood for a full breakfast or something lighter?” She gives me her usual good-natured smile.

“I’ll have a full breakfast. It’s going to be a long day at the hospital.”

“Of course, dear. I’ll make some of your favorites.”

“Thanks. I’ll be down in about fifteen minutes.”

“That’s perfect. See you then.”

She saunters away and I glance back through the window.

I’ll eat, get ready, then I’ll pack.

I’m sorry, Jaxon, but I can’t stay with you. Dad was right. You’re not my savior and I can’t pretend you are no matter what I feel for you.

I walk down the long wide hall leading to the hospital’s loading bay, my soul quivering with unease and nerves.

It’s time. Time to enact the plan.

It’s seven in the evening. My shift ends at eight. I’m supposed to get to the loading bay in time for the laundry shipment. The guards think I’m going down there to help with the stock take. They can’t follow me here because only staff can go past a certain point, so they’re near the entrance on the other side.

I lied my ass off at lunchtime after I read the instructions Cora’s people left for me in my locker. I lied, and I couldn’t believe my luck when Andrieu believed me.

I also can’t believe I made it this far. Not the distance. But actually going through with the plan .

I’ve been trying to stay focused and act natural all day.

I was my usual self with Eve and with Julie. Neither of them suspected I was saying goodbye forever when I left them. As Julie finished at five, I’ve been working with another nurse who knows me just as well, so when I told her I was going to help with the laundry shipment she thought nothing of it. She was grateful because it was one less job for someone to worry about when they’re already running a tight shift.

The satchel on my shoulder and the clothes on my back are all I have until I’m on the move. Needless to say I had to pack incredibly light and only take what was necessary.

Apart from my phone and purse, the only thing I have is my diary with Natasha’s note. That’s all I brought. I left everything else behind.

It’s funny how we give sentimental value to certain things but they become mere objects when we’re in survival mode.

I reach the entrance to the loading bay and scan my staff pass. The door opens and I walk into the storage room. It’s filled with large boxes and crates.

This room always has a creepy vibe that spikes my nerves because there’s less staff at this time of the day. It’s mostly dark until someone walks by and the automatic lights pop on.

Although the storage room is on a level surface it feels like going underground because the pathway goes down a slope like on a multistory parking complex. It’s just not as big.

I note that there’s actually no one around. That’s a first for me. Burt and one of the assistant operatives are usually here at this hour for the night shift.

It doesn’t matter. Being alone makes it so much better for me. It means I can hopefully slip away unnoticed.

When the guards come looking for me there’ll be no one to ask questions. By the time they pull the security footage I’ll be long gone and as only certain areas of the loading bay dock are under surveillance—that I’m not going to—they’ll never see me.

God, this just might work.

The thought pulls a bittersweet stirring in my heart. Yes, I want my freedom—of course, I do. But Jaxon…

No, don’t think about him.

I mustn’t.

Pushing him from my mind, I follow the path down until I reach the area where I’m supposed to head out to the trucks.

I’m nearly there when I spot a man lying on the floor in the corner.

My heart leaps in my throat then stops beating altogether when I realize the man is Burt.

The shock of seeing him stops me, but then my mind snaps back into focus and I rush toward him. I check his pulse, find one, but notice his breathing is very shallow. There’s also a small prick on his neck like a bite or as if made by a needle.

I look around and my soul freezes when I spot two assistant operatives slumped together against the wall.

At that moment I realize with utter horror that something is going on and I don’t have to wonder if that something has anything to do with me.

“They’re not dead, just sleeping,” comes a cold, menacing voice from behind me. A voice I’ve grown used to asleep, awake and in between. I just never thought I’d hear that voice again. Especially when the owner is supposed to be enroute to Italy.

Slowly and fearfully I turn my head and find Jaxon standing across from me leaning against one of the crates.

The terror of seeing him and realizing the reason he’s here turns the breath in my lungs to rocks, and my insides twist as if steel rods are wrapped around them.

Oh God in Heaven. He knew what was going on.

He knew all along.

I’m a fool for thinking I could have pulled this off unnoticed and that everything was going smoothly. It wasn’t. The guards weren’t easygoing with me; they were told to let me believe I had the upper hand. I want to be mad but I can’t be. There’s so much more to worry about than being mad because he played me.

On shaking legs I stand and stare at him. Our eyes lock and I try to search for the man he was over the last few days but can’t find him anywhere. The look in his eyes is as stony as a marble statue that can never be brought to life.

“Not sure if you’d believe that the Beast didn’t hurt them because he didn’t want you to have their blood on your hands.” He gestures to Burt and the guys.

“What did you do to them?” I stutter, my voice as faint and light as the air between us.

“Tranquilizers. They’ll be out for a few hours, then they won’t know what the hell happened because I will have wiped the footage. The echoes of this conversation you and I have will make us seem like ghosts passing through the walls.” He smiles. It’s not one of his human smiles. It’s the other kind. The one you know you should run from because it means danger. And death.

He steps forward and I step backward, trying to breathe past the rocks in my lungs.

“So, tell me, when you got to Isla del Ciervo did you really think I wouldn’t find you?”

God, he knows everything .

“Jaxon—”

“Here’s a better question. Although I know the answer, I want to hear you say it. Do you think you were just playing the game every time you fucked me?” He walks right up to me and I’m so frightened my legs won’t move.

Jaxon’s smile widens when he sees my fear. He looks like he’s getting off on it. He catches my throat, and I grab his arm, preparing for him to snap my neck. He latches on to my hand and his finger has more strength in it than my entire hand, so he’s able to capture me completely in such a way that I can’t move.

He laughs at my feeble attempts. “Fucking hell, you really think I could kill you? Don’t worry, Krasota, you fucked my mind up real good. I can’t kill you. But there are other things I can do to you.” His grip tightens around my wrist.

“Jaxon, please…”

“Answer my question.”

The question— do I think I was playing the game every time I fucked him? I already knew the answer to that question long ago. I don’t want to hear myself say it outside my head but I want him to know those parts weren’t a game. “No, it wasn’t a game.”

“And you know that?” There’s a shift in his eyes. A light. A spark. Some semblance of the guy who makes me feel things I never felt before.

“Yes. I know.”

“Yet you still wanted to leave.” The darkness returns to his expression, chasing away the light. “It’s okay. Don’t explain that part. I get it. I practically stole you. That will never be right.”

“If you get it then let me go. Let me leave.” The words sound foolish to my own ears because I know what he stands to gain from being married to me but I say them anyway.

“No.” He shakes his head and I feel even more foolish. “I’m afraid I can’t and won’t do that. Gabriella De Costa, you were always a key element of my plan but it’s not just about the money anymore. Now there’s something more that I want from you.”

I’m so furious I want to slap him but I’m still too scared to move. “What? What more could you possibly want from me?”

“You. I want you.” The words fall from his lips as effortlessly as breathing air. And he’s looking at me as if I should have known his answer could only be that— me .

“You only think you want me.”

He gives me a smile filled with venom and presses his fingers into my throat. “You should know me better than that. I know when I want something. I wanted you from the moment you came on my dick. That’s when you became mine, Krasota .”

Desire chooses this deranged moment to stir in my core and I hate, hate, hate the feeling. It feels like I’m losing control again, and I can’t do that with him.

“It’s because you’re mine that we’re going to handle this the easy way.”

“Don’t you mean your way? There is no easy or hard way.”

He leans forward and inhales me. “I love that you think you know me but like I said, you and I are only just getting started.”

Before I can even think of a comeback he holds up a photo in front of my face.

The picture is of Natasha and Alessandro in the church Mom used to take us to in Marseille. They’re standing in front of my favorite painting by Michel Serre.

I’m looking at them knowing it’s them but not believing what I’m seeing. Then the truth tumbles into my mind like boulders rolling off a cliff.

Jaxon found out where Natasha is.

He knows .

He figured it out.

The tremor of fear that races through me shatters my heart and burns my lungs. I can’t breathe or feel anything past that overpowering fear and doom that tells me I more than fucked up.

Jaxon removes the picture from my eyes, replacing it with his heartless stare, and I think I see him now for the first time. I see the monster he is.

“How?” It’s again foolish to even ask him anything at this point but I want to know how the hell he found them. I want to know it wasn’t me . “How did you find them?”

“From you, my dear wife-to-be.”

The awful truth pains my soul, feeling no different from a knife twisting in my stomach. “No. I never said anything.”

“You didn’t need to.” He looks demonic now with that smile still lingering on his face. “Natasha wasn’t sere when she’d see you again, but she wanted you to pray for her like you did that summer with your mother.”

He read the email. And he figured out the typo— sere .

“You went through my things?”

“You fell asleep on the balcony the other week and the email printout fell out of your diary.”

Damn it. I’m so stupid. This is my fault. All my fault. I shouldn’t have printed the email. If I hadn’t, no one would ever have known. Now I’ve put my sister in danger.

“You didn’t have to read it.” My voice shakes from the tears I’m holding back.

“I didn’t. But I did, Krasota. So… how about we try this again? The easy way is you come with me and we stick to the plan. I get your complianc e and we get married next Saturday. I want you to agree without trying to escape again. Agree, and we’ll pretend this never happened. I’ll also forget that I know where your sister is. What’s it gonna be? Ready to come with me?”

There’s no question about what I’m going to do and it churns my stomach that he knows that answer, too. “Yes.”

“Louder.”

“Yes.” I speak louder.

The smile fades from his face and he looks scarier. “Good girl. Let’s go home, then.”

Home.

I have no home. He’s taking me back to my prison.