Relentless Sinner

Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jaxon

I follow my father into his study.

He's back in his wheelchair, maneuvering it ahead of me. I close the door behind us and watch him as he moves toward the long French windows overlooking the lake.

Hours have gone by since the ceremony and night has fallen.

He wanted to see me before he heads off to bed. Honestly, I thought he would have retired well before now. That walk took a lot out of him.

I give him credit for his efforts. He walked to hand me the ring and the position then walked back to his wheelchair as if he didn’t need it. The men cheered for him. One last cheer for the road. Now he looks frail again.

He swivels the chair around to face me and gestures with his chin for me to follow and sit in the chair opposite him.

I do, loosen my tie, then we stare at each other in silence. A silent contemplation of what we're going to say to each other.

I decide to go first. “You walked well today.”

He gives me a half smile and nods. “I needed to. I wanted the men to remember me as a fighter. Not like this.” He motions to the wheelchair.

“I understand. But regardless of your illness or the chair, they still see you as a leader.”

He looks like he appreciates my words. “Perhaps, but I needed to do it for me.

As a memory of how I once was. Everything will change now. Including me. I won't get better. Things will only get worse after this.”

I want to tell him not to be so negative, but he's right. He will get worse. He's already getting worse.

“I wanted to talk to you about the plans for the next few weeks. We've already been doing a lot of work together but now that you are Pakhan, we have the final handover. I want to join you at the Bratva and Creed meetings to ensure we maintain certain loyalties.”

“Father, you don't have to be there to ensure that. I already do that by myself.”

“Of course, but some people need that extra push to remind them of the oaths they took. Your grandfather did that for me. I felt I didn’t need him either, but it helped. I want to do the same for you with whatever energy I have left in me.”

I understand, so I decide to oblige him and nod. “Alright. We’ll do that.”

“I'm hoping we can do everything we need to within a month. The bulk of the work is with the company. Then it’s all up to you how you go on from there.”

I’m glad he said that because I have a controversial idea he won’t like. “I hope that means I’ll be able to finalize the leadership structure.”

His jaw stiffens and that defensive look fills his eyes. “I had hoped we’d wait until our investigation was complete before doing so. We don’t yet know if Levka, Magnus, or Yuri were involved with Damian’s plot.”

I don’t know why the fuck he thinks he should give these people any chances just because they’re his family. “I agree to waiting, but I think it’s reasonable to assume that they’re all in on it together.”

He doesn’t like me saying that but knows I’m right. “Alright. You do that. I guess this is where I must step back and let you run things the way you see fit. One thing I’ll ask is that you wait for more evidence before you strike.”

I grit my teeth. “Why? We have evidence.”

“Damian is my brother. I know him. He'll find a way to get out of the situation with lies and will even find evidence to counter what we have. Better to watch them all for a little longer and catch them in the act.” He pauses for a moment. “Now that you're Pakhan they will either stop what they're doing to get in your good graces and secure their positions, or they'll still try to take it from you.”

He means they can still try to kill me.

“Okay, I’ll wait a little longer.” It may do no harm, especially when I’m watching their every move. “But not too long.”

“Not too long. I guess by the time you finalize your subordinates, you’ll know more.”

That means I have eight weeks starting from today. “Just so we’re clear, regardless of what the investigation shows, I won’t be choosing Levka or Yuri to be part of my elite. I need people I trust. It’s enough that I believe they’re all working together. Even if I’m wrong I still need people I can rely on.”

“I agree with you.”

It's odd that we agree so easily with each other now, when we spent so many years fighting.

“Who would you choose?” He gives me a curious look.

“Eric as second-in-command and Andrieu to take the Obshak position.”

Andrieu is what I call an unsung hero who doesn’t get enough credit. He’s been my guard for the last twenty years and, like Eve, his family have always worked for mine.

“Do what your heart tells you.”

“I’m amazed you agree with me. You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

“She was here today,” he replies, switching the subject and ignoring my comment as if I never spoke.

For a moment I'm not sure who he means, then I realize he's talking about my mother again. Talking about her with me . This is the second time in the past month that we've ended up speaking about her when I've wanted to all my life.

“How do you know she was here?

“I felt her presence. I also know she’d want to see her son become Pakhan.”

Her son.

My insides twist at the reminder that I’ve always been referred to as my mother’s son. It was never our son with him. “Yes. I'm sure she would have wanted to see her son achieve such an accomplishment.”

Father gives me a hard stare but it's different from the seething ones I’m used to that are always filled with cruelty and coldness.

“You are my son, too,” he clarifies as if reading my mind, shocking me at the same time.

I’ve never been the kind of person not to question things and point out the obvious in the most blatant of ways. That’s another flaw of mine which has always gotten me in trouble. Despite that, I’ve never stopped myself. I won’t start now.

“Why are you suddenly acknowledging me?” I want to hear the reason from his lips. Sure, I know Eric spoke to him about mending the bridge between us but Eric would have always been trying to fix us. This is not a new thing. It’s only been heightened because of my father’s illness.

“Maybe I realize I should have done so a long time ago.”

His answer makes the lost little boy inside me eager to hear more, even if it means nothing to me now.

“You didn’t want me to be Pakhan. You made me fight for it.”

“Now you know you earned it.”

“Okay, that’s fair enough, although I shouldn’t have had to fight for it when you didn’t.”

“You’re right. I didn’t. I married your mother and automatically got it when her father died. But the empire back then was nothing like it is today. I needed to make sure the right person got the position.”

“Jacob wouldn’t have needed to fight.”

He clenches his jaw and digs his fingers into the edge of the chair. “No, he wouldn’t have.”

I bite down on my back teeth, hating to hear him say that. “You also tried to kill me. I know it was you, Father. You messed with those drugs, and Cillian's father saved me.”

His gaze drops to the floor, a silent confirmation of a truth I already knew.

Seeing him react this way is more of a punch to my gut.

“I'm dying, Jaxon…” He raises his head and looks back at me. “Dying men see things differently because they become weak. Death has snuck up on me, and when I look back I realize I made certain mistakes.”

So, if he weren’t dying, he wouldn’t see shit. He’d still be the same kind of bastard he always was.

“So you think things can be okay between us just because you accept you were wrong to treat me like shit?”

“No. I don’t and I can't take back what I did or change the past.” He swallows hard. “I'm doing what I'm doing now, whether you accept it or not. All I’m going to ask from you is one thing.”

“What's that?”

“Take me to Russia and stay with me for a few days. Bring your wife.”

I stare back at him in disbelief. “You want me to go with you?”

“I don't have long left. I'm moving up the date again. Once I'm done handing over everything to you, I want to head out. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be with her.”

My mother is buried in Russia in a garden my father bought for her. Jacob is buried next to her. That’s where my father wants to go.

“Please, say yes. I want you to go with me.”

I think for a moment and once again the lost little boy tugs on my heart, begging me now to give him a chance and do this one thing.

This will be it. The last time.

Sometimes in life people are forced to change and accept their wrongs. That’s what’s happened to him.

Although I’d like to guard myself and be mindful of the past, it’s me who’s going to be left behind.

I don’t want to have any regrets, so I’ll oblige him.

“Okay,” I agree with a curt nod. “I'll go with you.”

“Thank you.”

Saturday night comes quickly. Thank God. The last few days were draining, and I’ve hardly seen Gabriella.

As it stands I won’t have her to myself again until the party is over. I came home straight from the office, so all I got from her was a quick kiss before my friends descended on me with their well wishes and questions.

It’s quite a good turnout and the mood is more relaxing than it was at my father’s house. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this at my home. I suppose that’s because it’s been a while since I’ve had anything to celebrate.

I take a swig of my beer and stare at Gabriella across the hall. Cillian and Micah are talking to me about our business venture in Italy. I’m listening to them but I’m watching her.

She seems to bond well with Chloe, Cillian’s wife. I knew they would get along because they’re both Italian and, I suppose, new to the fold. My other married friends have had more time to form a tighter clique. It’s harder to be accepted amongst friends who have been friends for years.

Gabriella is smiling, then she’s laughing at something Chloe said. I wish I knew what it was. I like hearing her laughter and watching her.

We’re still in that haze, but I feel like it’s beginning to crack. Sometimes I catch her staring into space and I know she’s thinking about the things we need to talk about and figure out.

I’ve been stalling with talking about those things because I don’t want to ruin what we have. I’m buying time until the cracks get bigger and the facade that things are okay between us fades. Then I know I’ll have to face the music.

Feeling my gaze on her, she looks at me and gives me a little smile. From here I can see the soft rose color of her cheeks as a blush creeps down her neck.

What is she thinking now?

Maybe that blush is for earlier this morning before I left. I had her up against the wall of the shower.

“Did you even hear me?” Micah says, poking my arm. Back in high school he would have probably shoved me into the lockers. Then we’d end up fighting.

I look back at him and, no, I didn’t hear a damn thing, so I don’t know what he said. “Sorry, I was distracted.”

“I can see that.” Cillian looks across at Gabriella and Chloe. He throws Chloe a kiss, to which she giggles before she continues her conversation with my wife.

Micah shakes his head at the two of us.

“What were you saying, Micah?” I try to sound more enthusiastic.

“I said I landed a fucking huge contract with the Van den Bergs.”

Instantly my mind snaps back into focus and my eyes widen in shock and disbelief. The Van den Bergs own one of the biggest jewelry brands in the world. They only work with certain people and with certain jewels.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Micah smiles and nods. “They’re expanding and want to work directly with a diamond mining company, especially one that can bypass certain laws and provide a variety of diamonds. They’re also interested in working with us in other aspects of our business. The profit forecast for the end of next year is close to thirty billion with all our resources combined.”

I’m shocked further.

“How did this happen?” I have to ask because I didn’t even know they were on our radar.

“They were interested because they thought the three of us combined could make them more money.”

“We can,” I assure him.

Cillian laughs at my reaction. “This is gonna be one of the biggest ventures I’ve done in my life.”

“Me too,” I agree. Although that’s not technically true. My biggest venture is the girl I stole and married for her two hundred-billion-dollar inheritance.

With this business deal I wouldn’t need that. Close to thirty billion—even shared with Micah and Cillian—keeps me at the fifth seat on the Creed. Because we’re a separate company by the Creed’s standards, it would be considered as shared and counted individually as well.

Does not needing Gabriella’s additional wealth make my situation with her better or worse?

I don’t want to need her for that.

I want to need her because I want her to be my wife.

“Well done, Micah.” I rest a hand on his shoulder. “You certainly know how to reel them in.”

“Like you, I’ve had to fight for my position in my family. So I knew I had to go in big.”

“You did it. Who knows where we could be next year?”

“That’s exactly what I’m thinking,” Cillian chimes in. “That’s just one client. A big client who will most likely spread the word. Even if they don’t, just having them will attract others.”

“It will,” I agree.

I look up and see Estelle approaching me with a smile on her face. She’s been working alongside me for the last few days so is probably as exhausted as I am.

“Hey, boss, I’m shooting off. Great party.” She chuckles.

“Thanks for coming.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Congratulations again. I’ll see you Monday.” She comes closer and gives me a hug. When we pull apart I feel eyes on me.

Estelle smiles at Cillian and Micah before she leaves, and I glance over my shoulder to see Gabriella watching her walk away.

She’s still wary of Estelle. And jealous . She has no reason to be. I’ve certainly given her no reason. I’ve never been like that.

Micah and Cillian pull me back into the conversation with all their plans and ideas. Before long I get sucked in again and when I look back to where Gabriella was standing, I see she’s gone. Chloe is still there talking with some of the other women.

I search around the room for Gabriella but don’t find her anywhere so I decide to excuse myself from the guys and look for her properly.

Eve sees me and tells me Gabriella went for a walk outside. It’s not often that she heads outside at this hour so I go in search of her. It’s the perfect excuse to be alone with her.

I find her walking by the lake near the thicker section of the woods. It’s the area she likened to the moors in Wuthering Heights .

I move toward her silently, watching her as I get closer.

She’s gazing at the water, looking at the silver glow of moonlight touching the surface. It touches her, too, covering her from head to toe as though protecting her from the darkness and monsters like me.

The wind picks up her hair, carrying it about her shoulders like a cape. Or wings. The thought makes me think of her as the caged bird again.

Would she fly away from me if she could?

If I set her free would she leave me?

She can hear my footsteps now as I draw near. Her back goes straight and she glances over her shoulder, her hair sweeping up into the air as she looks at me.

It makes her look more like a dream.

I stop a breath away and she turns to face me, a faint smile on her face.

“I hope you didn’t come out here to be alone.” I tilt my head and take in the pensive look on her face.

“When has that ever worked on you?” There’s a slight edge to her voice.

“Never. So I assume you came out here because you knew I’d follow.”

A little smile pulls on her lips and she backs away. “Maybe. But you looked busy again.”

“I’ve been busy all night.” I step forward, following her.

“You have.”

She turns and walks ahead into the woods. I catch up to her and pull her back to me. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Something’s up with you.”

“I just needed some air.”

She’s lying. Just from that solemn look on her face I can tell she’s concerned about Estelle but doesn’t want to confess it. I’ve gotten to know her so well. Gabriella is the kind of woman who doesn’t like to appear jealous of another even when she is.

By the same token, I’m the kind of man who won’t hesitate to show you how he feels. And now that I have her all to myself that’s exactly what I plan to do.

“Guess what?” I brush my nose along hers.

“What?”

“I need you again.”

“Me?” Her voice is low and searching, like she’s trying to find something meaningful to hold on to.

“You. I need to fuck you again.” I press my mouth to hers and kiss her hard, silencing any further questions.

Instantly she molds her soft curves to my harsh body, feeling like balm on my soul. I grip a handful of her hair and tilt her head back so I can devour her mouth, then I push her little dress up to her waist, feel for her panties, and shove them aside.

I finger her pussy just because I want to feel how wet she is.

She’s soaked. Fuck. I fucking love her body and how easily she responds to me. I pump into her and she moans into my mouth, yielding to my touch.

The need to be inside her surges through me, making me lose control.

I pull my fingers out of her pussy then shove her up against the thick oak tree beside us.

I yank my pants down, freeing my cock, and move her panties aside so I can drive into her.

The moment my cock slides into her passage it feels like heaven. Like coming home and all things good that I crave.

She gasps and digs her nails into my shoulders, grasping. Then I watch her face, the sweet pleasure all over it, as I fuck her.

I fuck her as if this is the first time and the last. Like it’s my one chance to have her.

When I feel her come I move faster, giving her more pleasure. I manage to keep up that pace for as long as I can, fucking her against the tree, under the moon, shrouded by darkness.

The walls of her pussy throb around my cock as she comes again, squeezing my length. It feels too good, too good to control any longer.

When I explode inside her it feels like I’m falling and flying off the face of the earth.

I press my mouth to hers again and she clings on to me while her sweet cunt drains me dry.

I hold her face and stare down at her. Everything I feel for her keeps growing and growing beyond my control. And I keep wanting more from her. I can never get enough, no matter how much I take.

It’s never enough. I only feel complete when I’m with her like this.

“You’re the missing piece of me,” I tell her and she places a hand to my heart.

We stare at each other for a moment, a heartbeat, then she kisses me, telling me without words how she feels, too.

It’s then I realize that I’m nothing without her. If I let her fly away life goes back to the way it was before.

Empty and hollow and void.

Nothing.