Resist Me

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Lincoln

As I walked through the courtyard, I ran my fingers through my hair. Kai assured me that West would be fine, but I wouldn’t feel any better until we found him. Sure, he might be fine, but he wasn’t okay and that did things to me. I couldn’t stand knowing that he was hurting and alone. Those two things shouldn’t be associated with West at all. He was sunshine and fucking cupcakes with a need for constant attention. He could be upset, but I was going to make it a requirement that he had to do it with me. Or someone else, but preferably me.

Dropping onto one of the benches, I rested my elbows on my knees. If I was West, where would I go? Anywhere with food, which was too broad to go off of. The field, but Sen took that area. Maybe I’d check myself just to be sure.

“Damnit,” I muttered.

My hands covered my face as I tried to calm myself. He probably wouldn’t want me to coddle him like this. West was an adult, although the specifics of that were questionable sometimes. If he wanted to be around someone right now, it would be Kai. I couldn’t just claim him as mine and become overbearing .

I’d send him a text and continue walking around campus. If I found him, I would take care of him, but as long as Kai kept me updated, I wouldn’t freak out. I could do that.

“Linc!”

Oh, thank fuck.

I looked up to find West jogging over to me. There was a smile on his face, but it wasn’t as bright as I wanted to see. Just as I was about to stand, he grabbed either side of my neck and kissed me. He planted a knee on the bench beside me, keeping me pinned in place with his body.

“You taste like shitty vodka,” I noted.

He just hummed in acknowledgement. I grabbed the back of his thigh and pulled his other leg onto the seat so that he was straddling me. Running my hands up his sides, I was able to push away some of my frantic thoughts from the past couple of hours.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I’m running the fucking ball, Linc.”

“I don’t…” I trailed off, unable to resist getting lost in his kiss. Shitty vodka or not, I wanted every bit of his sweet taste on my tongue.

He pulled back enough to look at me. “I really like you and I haven’t been open enough about it.”

My eyes widened and I had to blink a few times before I remembered how to speak. When I actually processed it, I smiled and tightened my grip on him.

“Yeah, I know.”

He scoffed. “Fuck off, asshole. I’m trying this stupid thing Sen told me to do. Some scam he called ‘not pushing people away.’”

“Oh, is that right? What about this other thing called ‘letting people in?’”

He scrunched his nose. “Ew. Are you trying to kill me?”

“Obviously.” I ran my fingers through his hair slowly. “So, where’s Sen?”

“Being codependent. He went to find Kai.”

“And you didn’t want to go with him?”

He shook his head. “I wanted to see you.”

Leaning my forehead against his, I closed my eyes. That was completely unexpected and everything I needed to hear right now .

“So, you like me a little bit, huh?” I wanted to hear it again. Plus, in two minutes he might go back to headbutting me and claiming to hate my face.

“I guess.”

Pulling back, I narrowed my eyes, which made him laugh. The smile brightened his eyes and eliminated most of the sadness in his expression. There was some left and I knew there was only one thing that would help.

“Come on. Willow is worried too. She feels really bad.”

It looked like he might argue, but then he nodded. When we were both standing, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into me.

“For the record,” I said. “I really like you too, but I have been open about it. Now, you’re gonna get your drunk ass on my motorcycle and hold onto me tightly because if you somehow manage to hurt yourself, I’ll be really angry.”

“Are you gonna punish me?”

Moving my hands further down, I gripped his ass and pulled him flush against me. “Absolutely. Maybe you deserve to be spanked for every time you’ve pissed me off over the past seven months.”

“Well, this sounds like an all night thing.”

Breathing a laugh, I took his hand and headed toward the parking lot. I held onto him extra tightly, which he didn’t seem to mind. His other arm swung freely back and forth like he didn’t have a care in the world. A couple of months ago, I might have believed that.

When we reached the bike, I grabbed the second helmet I’d bought and passed it to him. His mouth dropped open. Looking from it to me and back again, his brow furrowed.

“What’s this?”

“A helmet,” I replied.

He turned it over, then ran his fingers over the picture of our mascot on the side. The helmet itself was made to resemble a football helmet, which I figured he would get a kick out of. Rendering West speechless may have been the equivalent of a normal person jumping up and down with glee.

“Tell me you had this as a spare sitting in your closet,” he said quietly.

“Nope. ”

I swung my leg over the motorcycle, then situated my own red helmet. It took him another minute to put his on and settle behind me. His arms came around me more tightly than usual and he perched his chin on my shoulder. I tilted my head to rest on his for a moment before I started the engine.

The ride to their apartment was pretty short. I found myself wishing we could drive around for a little longer, but he needed to see his sister. Things were rough between them right now. I didn’t know what was going on with Willow and I didn’t think she was ready to tell anybody, even West. Hopefully, they’d both find a way to be simpatico in the meantime because searching for an emotional West during the night was stressful as hell. It was like trying to find a lost puppy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did that crouch and run thing when someone found him.

“Will you come with me?” he asked when I cut the ignition.

I pulled off the helmet, then got off the bike. Tugging his off gently, I clipped it to the side before cupping the bottom of his jaw.

“If you want me to, but I think you should talk to her alone. I can hang out with the guys while you do.”

He nodded. My heart beat faster as we approached the door. I wasn’t too anxious about the situation, but they were both reactive people. The way they bounced off of each other could be a fun time or lead to a situation that devolved extremely quickly. I knew they were twins, but it was almost shocking how alike they were.

After we made it inside, I leaned in to kiss his forehead. He took a deep breath, then headed down the hall. If yelling erupted in there, I might just bring West to my place for a few days so he didn’t completely break.

Sen and Kai were on the couch, so I joined them. They were intertwined like pretzels with their legs and arms wrapped around each other in a way that looked oddly comfortable. Any time they were in a room together, they seemed to be touching. West called them codependent, but I found it sweet that they were so into each other that they wanted to be close all the time.

Maybe my boyfriend would get to that place. Tonight seemed like a bit of a turning point in our relationship. I just hoped he wouldn’t backpedal.

“How is he?” Kai asked .

“He’ll be okay, but I think it also depends on what happens in there.”

He nodded slowly. “They’re both hot messes. Sometimes, it’s like two negatives making a positive, but other times they just add together to make a giant disaster.”

I chuckled and began to tap my fingers on my thighs. “Do you think I’ll scare him off if he has to meet my grandparents at the team dinner?”

Kai put a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh. “Uh, shit. Probably. At least, until you run after him and smack some sense into him.”

“So, basically what I have to do every day.”

The way Sen smiled made me raise a brow. “Do you love him?” he asked.

“Jesus,” I muttered. “No, we’ve barely even established that we’re dating and he still tries to claim he hates me. But…”

“Go on.”

Actually, I really didn’t want to, but they both seemed invested in what I was going to say.

“I like him,” I went on. “A lot, but it’s still really new. I’m trying not to completely lose myself in it because I have a tendency to love too hard and so far, that hasn’t done me any favors. It’s kind of hard to figure out where he’s at sometimes.”

“I think that’s what West needs,” Kai said, pulling Sen in tighter. “Someone who loves him too much. Aggressively, even.”

“Maybe. It could also end with me standing alone in the rain with my heart all fucked up.”

Sen frowned. “That’s a sad image.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “It is.”

“I have an idea. West is like a wild stallion. We have to block him on all sides to keep him from running away.”

Kai laughed. “I like a good analogy as much as the next guy, but I don’t know if corralling him is the answer.”

“What I mean is that we try harder to support him. If each of us is doing it, maybe he’ll feel a little safer.”

Leaning my elbow on the armrest, I cocked my head. “This could also turn out to be more of a cornered dog situation.”

“He’s all bark. ”

“Oh, no, he’s got a lot of bite. And headbutts and left hooks.”

“I forgot he was a leftie. That’s what’s wrong with him.”

I couldn’t help but laugh despite the real worries that had resurfaced since West left my side. Being here had become comfortable and I found myself enjoying their company. I’d still rather be at home but for me, it was one of the highest compliments that I wasn’t counting down the minutes until I could leave.