Roll For Initiative

63. Cassie

I put the razor to my wrist and put a bit of pressure on it, just slightly piercing the skin. Blood starts to bead up along the cut. I go to drag the razor to end my suffering when the door opens. Theo looks at me through the glass doors of the shower, his eyes falling on the razor and the trail of blood now leaking from my wrist, swirling with the water. I drop the razor, and it hits the tiles, clattering along the floor.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

He flings open the glass door, gripping me by the wrist. He yanks me from the shower and throws me to the floor. I make the mistake of trying to catch myself, and I can feel my hand bend at an unnatural angle, snapping as I hit the ground. The guttural scream that escapes me is a sound I have never heard before. The pain shooting up my arm and into my shoulder and chest is making my stomach flip. I thought I knew pain from this past week, but this is something entirely different. I have never felt this level of pain before. It is radiating across my entire body.

"Please, no. I’m sorry." I’m stammering as I’m weeping from the pain. I lift my non-broken arm to shield me as best as possible.

He grips me by my hair and lifts me so I’m at eye level with him. The floor is soaked, and my feet can’t get traction. I flail in his grasp, trying to use my good hand to gain any leverage to release some tension on my scalp.

"You stupid fucking bitch. You think you can escape me in death? I’ll fucking follow you to the afterlife." He spits in my face. The rage coming from him is only matched by what I have seen in horror movies. He is blind from it.

"No. I don’t know what I was thinking. Please stop. You're hurting me." I scream, trying to gain any form of sympathy from him.

"You think this is hurting you? You haven’t felt real pain yet, bitch.” He drags me to the bedroom by my hair and throws me onto the bed. My body is practically seizing from the pain as I land on the broken wrist.

He rips the belt through the loops on his pants.

"No, stop.” I scream. I try to scramble across the bed to put some distance between us, but he just grabs me by the ankle and yanks me back toward him. He flips me on my stomach and grabs my wrists, pinning my arms behind my back. He wraps the belt around my wrists and pulls it tight, cutting off the circulation. The pain is causing my head to pound and my stomach to turn.

"Too late. You tried to end your own life just to escape me. Do you not care how much that hurts me? You are so selfish." I try to wiggle on my stomach away from him, but it is no use. His shirt is off now, and he unzips and shoves off his pants and boxers. "Don’t you love me, Cassandra?" His voice suddenly shifting to a calm and controlled tone as he asks this. He climbs on the bed and pulls me by my legs. My shoulders are straining as he holds the belt as leverage. He clambers up my small frame, straddling my hips. I have to try to get him out of this rage.

“I’m sorry Theo. I do love you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m just scared.” I rotate my body so I can see him behind me. He has me pinned at his mercy. “Please, Sir... just let me touch you. I want to touch you.” His gaze softens.

He kisses my neck. His mouth travels lower, biting and sinking his teeth into my skin along my spine. So much pain is radiating from each bite mark. He slowly undoes the belt from my wrists. My fingers tingling from the lack of circulation feel a wave of cool as the blood starts to flow again. I wiggle, trying to turn over underneath him. He understands and lifts slightly, allowing me room to turn. Once I am flat on my back beneath him, he settles back down, straddling my hips. He takes his belt and slips it around my neck, pulling it taunt. Thankfully, he is leaving me enough room to get air into my lungs. I slowly reach up with my good hand and cup his face.

"Of course I love you." I practically choke on the words as I say them. He leans into my touch, closing his eyes and I can feel the tension dissipating from his jaw. "I’m sorry Theo. I was stupid to try to leave you. I’m yours. I won’t try to leave you again."

He lays down on me and buries his face in my neck. Inhaling deeply. I can feel his erection growing against my stomach. At this point I think my wrist is fully destroyed. It feels tingly. Almost like when your arm falls asleep when you have a pinched nerve. A numbness is spreading, starting from my fingertips. This can’t be good.

"I’m sorry, little one." He kisses my neck. "You just make me so crazy sometimes." He is trailing kisses down onto my collar bone. "You know how much I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you at Vixens. I always knew you were mine."

He is trailing his mouth lower. Circling my nipple with his tongue before taking it into his mouth. He drops his hand between our bodies and finds my clit. Rubbing his thumb in slow circles, mimicking what his tongue is doing to my nipple. He dips 2 fingers into me and groans.

"Mmmm always so wet for me. Always such a good girl."

He pulls out then slams the 2 fingers back inside me, then adds a 3rd. Between the already existent bruising and the IUD removal, it is agonizingly painful.

"Please stop. It hurts. The doctor said to give it time since I would be sore." I plead as tears fill my eyes.

"Fuck that, you're fine. You're my tough girl and can handle anything, remember? I want to start trying for a baby now."

"But the doctor said..."

*Smack*

I’m silenced as the back of his hand connects with my cheek.

"Fuck what that old windbag said. You will appreciate that someone in this world actually wants you. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." I lay back and close my eyes. He isn't gentle, impaling me to the hilt in one thrust. I nearly gag from him hitting so deep. Everything is so sore everywhere.

Something inside me snaps. Like a rubber band stretched too tight. My body is filled with a rage I never knew I could possess. I can feel it bubbling up from deep inside me. I react without thinking, attacking his face with my nails. The exploding rage dominating my body is blocking out all pain signals for the moment.

"No! Get the fuck off me!" I scream as I slash at his face. I’m able to gash his cheek and under his eye before he grips both my wrists and pins me to the bed. The pain from the broken wrist is screaming.

"You stupid bitch. You want to play rough? I’ll show you rough." He grips both wrists above my head with one hand and grips the belt wrapped around my neck with the other. He continues to thrust in and out of me. Pounding my body deeper into the mattress. Using the belt as leverage to fuck my damaged body. I feel like my insides are being ripped apart while my brain panics from the lack of oxygen.

I try to scream, but a rasp, barely over a whisper, comes out. Tears, snot, and spit coat my face. He wraps the belt around his hand to tighten it, lifting my head up from the mattress. He grabs me by the throat and slams me back down. He does this over and over, jostling my already swollen brain. I kick as best as I can, but he is so strong and heavy compared to me. He releases the hold on my throat to punch my left cheek, snapping my head to the side. My head is spinning and ringing, sounding like an explosion going off within my skull.

"Fucking calm down." He screams at me before pulling on the belt, tightening it around my throat even tighter this time. I can feel the leather digging into the already tender skin. It is pinching and burning. I can feel my windpipe being crushed from the pressure.

I keep fighting and struggling against his grasp. Then, by some miracle, I managed to get enough leverage to bring my knee up right into his balls. It distracts him just enough so that I can get a hand free. I take the opportunity and shove my thumb into his eye socket. Fuck this; if I’m going to die, I’m doing a lot of fucking damage on my way out. My thumb presses in deeper, and his eye makes a sickening pop noise. Blood runs down his face and splatters all over me. His screams are echoing through the house.

"FUUCK! Fuck you. What the fuck did you do to my eye?" He releases both my hands and the belt, but he still has my legs pinned. He’s clutching his face as he screams at me. "You dumb fucking bitch." He brings his arm back, fuck this is going to hurt. He starts punching me repeatedly in the face. I can feel my cheek cave in. My head is spinning. I put my hands up to try to defend myself, and I catch his fucked-up eye. I scratch and grab at his face. Maybe I can pop his eye out, and he will bleed to death.

He screams and leans back just enough for me to wiggle out and fall to the floor. My vision is blurry, and my face is starting to swell. It feels hot and painful. I try to crawl on my stomach away from him, but he lunges off the bed, landing on top of my back. The wind is knocked from my lungs, and I can feel my ribs cracking.

"Oh no, you are not getting away. If I can’t have you, no one can. You’ve made your choice." He pins my back down with his knee and pulls hard on the belt. I suck in one final breath before my throat is being crushed again.

It feels like I’m trying to breathe through a small coffee stirrer straw. My chest feels crushed beneath his weight. He flips me over onto my back. I can feel a few of my ribs shifting freely as I turn. That can’t be good. The belt loosens, and he rips it off. I cough and gasp for any amount of air. It feels like fire seeping into my lungs. Something feels wet when I breathe, though, and I don’t know what it could be. It’s almost like I am inhaling water. It feels like I can't get my chest to expand, as if my body forgot how to inflate my lungs.

I have given up. Everything in my body feels broken now. My vision is blurry. My mouth is filled with blood. The ringing in my ears is drowning out the sounds of the world. I close my eyes, accepting death and the calmness it will bring. My head is suddenly shaking forward and back.

"Open your fucking eyes, Cassandra. I want you to see my face as you die. I would have given you the world. You were everything to me. You fucking caused this, it’s your fault." He wraps both hands around my throat. He is straddling me just below my breasts with my arms pinned to my sides by his thighs. My entire body is being crushed.

"Why! Why couldn’t you just love me back? I thought what we had was real." He is screaming as he hits my head on the hardwood floor over and over. He is crying as he kills me; how pathetic. "I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. I’m sorry." He keeps chanting as he tightens his grip. His own personal montera, as if it is going to relieve him from any guilt for what he has done to me. Spots start to flood my vision. My whole body feels like it is on fire, screaming for even a tiny puff of air to invade my lungs. And then, like a snap of a finger, everything goes numb. I can’t feel anything. I can’t see anything. The last thing I hear is someone coming into the room screaming at Theo.

"Sir, we are under attack." They scream.

"Fuck" Theo roars as he lifts my head, slamming it to the floor one last time, finishing what he started. I hear a sickening crack reverberate through my skull; then everything is silent and dark. No more screaming, no more pain. Just warmth and silence. I am at peace, though; I’ll be joining Lucian in the afterlife soon.