Run From Me (Barbed Wire Hearts #2)

4. Calliope

FOUR

calliope

There was silence, and then there was a silence-filled car accompanied by me having a death glare on the man in the car.

He’d given me a whole pile of ones. It could have been ten dollars or a hundred. It was more than I’d seen in a while. My allowance, if that’s what it was called these days, was pathetic. The Vipers expected more and more from me. I’d never been told how much my mother had sold me for, or rather how much she owed to them in drug money, but I’m certain it had been paid off long ago.

Fucking assholes. Couldn’t make a living honestly. Just through drugs and extortion. And I was damn tired of it. I wanted something different. I craved it. And I’d just about lost my mind if I was sitting right here, right now.

The Vipers were assholes, and the Spectors had a reputation far worse. Except me?

I was all about throwing myself into the clutches of the leader himself. Or, rather, one of them. I didn’t get the whole gang hierarchy. I didn’t want to know. But the way he held himself like nothing could touch him?

Maybe it was a death glare, or maybe I was just studying the guy. There was a scar behind his ear. Another peeking out from his collar. Under that jacket, I wondered how many more decorated his skin.

“Take a picture if you need something while you rub your pussy, Sparky.”

My fingers ached as I wrapped my hands into the small bag with a set of scrubs, just in case someone died and I had to care.

God, did I want to get under this guy’s skin.

“Fuck off. You aren’t that good looking.”

I turned and watched the streetlights go by as we drove down the roads into Spector territory. Why did going from Viper to Spector seem like a breath of fresh air? I needed to afford a better therapist, that was for sure.

Dollars aside, I had far too many minutes to replay that entire conversation.

Who the hell did he think he was?

I’d let him see inside me. I’d at least attempted to tell him something. It wasn’t like I’d asked for help. I didn’t think there was anything on this earth that could get me to actually ask for that. But hell. I’d let him in my apartment. Willingly. And all he said was he wasn’t my hero. Did I ask?

“I can practically hear you plotting my death over there. What’s going on?”

“Absolu-fucking-lutly nothing. Shut up and drive,” I said, holding my bag like it was a lifeline.

Fine. He didn’t want to be my hero, even if I never asked, so I wouldn’t be his… whatever the hell a guy like him wanted. Probably a fuck buddy. Fine.

It wasn’t like I’d had sex in years. The Vipers were pricks. I’d tried a relationship with one of them, once, and it had gotten him killed. And me? Well. It was me that had pulled the trigger.

I crossed my arms over my chest as the car pulled into a back lot.

“I thought the party was at one of the clubs?”

He shrugged.

“Enigma is where they reconnected or something. Besides, it’s best that the competition thinks one thing while we all know the truth.”

Enigma was an art gallery that I’d only ever heard of. It was a rich asshole thing, and I was not one of them. The car stopped, and I found myself pulling at the hem of my dress. I felt out of place just about anywhere, buy here?

The door of the car opened, and I looked up.

“You’re opening my door? Gee, what a gentleman.”

I rolled my eyes.

“You weren’t getting out, so I figured you needed an invitation,” he jabbed back.

I tried really hard to lock my jaw rather than show my shocked irritation.

“Asshole.”

I didn’t bother looking to see what he thought of that. I also didn’t stop to think about the fact I’d gone from antagonizing the Vipers to antagonizing the Spectors. Maybe I really was at the point of having a death wish. The door slammed behind me, and I just kept walking. Where? I mean, the building was in front of me, so there was probably a door somewhere.

He grabbed my elbow.

“This way, Sparky.”

I scrunched up my nose.

“Stop calling me that, Captain Dipshit.”

And then he let out a whistle.

“Already to pet names? I knew you loved me. Over here, Calliope.”

He guided me, and why I didn’t rip my arm away I didn’t know, or rather I didn’t want to think too long on it. Maybe I did. Maybe it just sucked to have him already tell me he wasn’t into me. Not a hero. Meaning not my hero. Fine. I didn’t need a hero. I just wanted someone or something that was mine.

But nothing was mine. Not my life. Not my apartment. Not my job. Not tonight.

I blinked at the light as a door opened. I hadn’t seen this door. The whole building was painted black, and at night it all seemed to blend.

“Thanks, everything is quiet?” Xander asked a guy I’d never even seen.

I watched as Xander did one of those stupid male handshakes with him.

“Yeah. All’s good. Quiet as can be.”

The guy eyed me for a second. But Xander stepped in front of me.

“Don’t touch her. She’s with me.”

The guy’s hands were up in a surrender position while we walked by.

It was hard to tell in the light from the open door, but I swear Xander’s posture got a little straighter.

“Got it. No one is touching her.”

Xander practically pushed me inside, even though I was going willingly. I was here for Rylee, not me. She was the closest thing to a friend that had been my choice, and now? My heart ached.

Now she was part of a world I couldn’t be in, and it sucked.

I wanted to say something to Xander. I wanted to tell him that this felt more like a funeral for my one and only friend than a celebration. But I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of me talking to his stupid, giant, hot ass.

Fuck. He’d been right. I’d definitely talked about his ass.

One more turn down a hallway, and then we were in a large gallery. There was artwork, but it wasn’t the center of attention. A bar stretched along a back wall where plenty of people milled about. I swallowed the lump that beat alive with the thump of the DJ. Movement on a dance floor caught my attention. People here had fun.

And me? I was looking for the one girl dressed in white so I could say goodbye.

The second the white dress flashed under the changing lights on the dance floor, I ripped myself away from the distraction behind me.

“See ya, Captain Dipshit,” I said, unsure if he actually heard me. Unsure why I was so angry at the man who gave me money and drove my ass here. Right. Because he’d wounded the little girl inside me hoping one person would see me. Fuck that. No one saw me.

Scratch that. My mother saw me for my ability to be useful at paying off her drug debts.

Nope. Not tonight, Satan. I was not going down that fucking road.

I plastered on a smile and ran up and grabbed Rylee just as her eyes made contact with mine. I could bear to hug this bitch for a little while longer.

“Aww, girl. You look beautiful,” I said as I squeezed her. I can’t say hugs were my thing, like at all. But with her? Hell, she looked like she needed a friend as bad as me when she’d first arrived.

“Thanks, Cali.”

She released me, and I did the same as she turned me toward another tall, menacing, full-of-tattoos-and-exuding-power guy.

“You remember Cas? From that really, and I mean really, stinky house, right?” She giggled. “He’s my husband now.”

The way she said that and looked up at him? I could feel an ache deep inside me open up and bleed out. She was well and truly happy, and all I could do was smile and nod. Of course I remembered that house, but to be fair, I hadn’t been looking at Cas.

And I wasn’t upset she said husband.

I was jealous. Jealous of happiness. Jealous that the one person I had was now taken and gone.

“Hey, short stuff.”

I whipped around and was ready to punch Xander when, instead; I watched him lean in and hug Rylee. My heart clenched. She had him too? He even had a nickname for her?

No. No. These guys were way too alpha for her to have all of them.

But he still had a pet name for her.

“X, give me back my wife. Go dance with your own date.”

X? Right. I had to think back to the one and only time I’d actually met him before. He’d been like my damn magnet then. That murder was nasty, and yet it was my favorite to date, all because of this idiot. I hadn’t wanted to be in that neighborhood, but the second he showed up, I couldn’t seem to remember why. He was my air in the decay and apparently the vacuum to my sanity since I’d asked him to bring me here.

I was stupid.

“My date just used me to get to short stuff here. Have you seen Zeid?”

I gawked at him, but he didn’t notice.

Rylee, however, did.

Xander continued to talk to Cas, and she sidled up to me.

“Okay. What happened? You texted me that you’d asked him to bring you. I assumed it was a date. Why is he so grumpy?”

What the hell could I say? I shrugged.

“Calliope. Tell me now. I can fix it. What happened?”

I smoothed down the nonexistent wrinkles in the little black dress I’d worn. Xander hadn’t even noticed it. I didn’t want to tell her that the second I asked him; I had already picked out my best fuck-me dress in my head. I’d already thought about the little matching underwear set I’d bought the day after meeting him, like he’d ever get to see it. But hell.

“I screwed it up, I guess,” I finally told her.

I tried to take in the room. I tried to notice all the sculptures. I tried to see just how big this place was. I tried to just be here in the moment. There were so many odd angles and little hidden corners that it wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen, not that I was cultured enough to have ever seen any art galleries. I wanted to look at anything and everything that wasn’t Xander, and I wanted to remember what might be the last time I stepped onto Spector territory ever.

“What do you mean? How would you screw it up?”

I looked back at Rylee, trying to ignore that sinking sadness seeping into my stomach.

“That’s a great question. I’m sure it started with the Viper who was trying to pee on me and mark his territory when Xander showed up,” I said.

Rylee snorted, and that got a side glance from Cas and Xander but nothing more.

“You never really told me why they were always sniffing around you so often. What did you do to piss them off?” Rylee asked.

I darted my eyes around and landed back on the bar. I wanted to ignore my shitty past and my even worse present. The future didn’t exactly look bright either, not with my one and only friend standing here in the wrong part of town and the guy I’d built up as a fantasy barely noticing I was alive.

“Can we get a drink?”

Rylee smiled.

“Yeah. Hold on.”

I couldn’t watch her lean into Cas and kiss him without noticing Xander, so I didn’t. The room had plenty of distractions to watch instead. It was just so hard because, if I was happy for her, I was sad for me. It was all fun while it lasted. Fun to have a crush and imagine a better life. Fun to have a friend who had a much better life. But now I was back to just being little old me again. Little old me trying to make things normal with whatever rec center classes I could find to keep me away from the Vipers, or whatever therapist would take what I could afford, or, better yet, hiding in the library whenever I couldn’t afford either.

Would Xander care if I told him I had to pay the Vipers back for something I never owed in the first place? Would he care that the Vipers were why I never had money? The interest, as the Vipers called it, was enough to keep me enslaved forever. They knew how to play a game I never even knew existed. And my mom tried to play a game she sure as hell hadn’t known the rules of until it was too late.

Rylee’s arms wrapped into mine.

“Alright. Drinks. Let’s go,” she said, pulling me away.

“You really do look beautiful, Rylee,” I said, trying to stay in the moment.

Her dress was simple and lacy. Knee length, and it flowed around her. It wasn’t one of those crazy say-yes-to-the-dress monstrosities, although judging by the Spector territories, she probably hadn’t been denied the option.

“Thanks, Cali. But don’t change the topic. Why is it that you look like your dog just died?”

I needed to lock this shit up and hide it away. I needed to stop sulking; it wasn’t like anything was wrong. I’d survived without her before, and I’d never had him. It was all fine. So I plastered a smile back on.

“Nothing is wrong. Just realizing we won’t have too many girls’ nights.”

The bartender stepped over.

“What can I get for the new Mrs. Boss?”

Rylee glowed even and had no idea and it hurt me or that I just felt left behind with no chance at a future to look like that.

“I’ll take a shot of whatever you have that’s fast, quick, and will make me forget my name,” I said before she could even open her mouth.

I didn’t miss the side glance from Rylee.

“Sure. Make two of those for her and one for me, and then cut her off,” Rylee said with a pointed look.

The guy nodded and got to work.

“You can’t cut me off, Rylee. What does it matter anyway? You have your new husband—who is apparently the boss?”

I’d stopped being surprised just about forever ago. Still the boss? I should have known that, right? Did I know that? Who cares? The only other outlets I had were drinking and clubs. Those I seemed to find money for or someone who was more than happy to get me shit faced. Flash the Viper brand, the one I never wanted, and I got to go home alone every time.

Hell, even if I didn’t want to go home alone, the brand would do the trick, regardless. I never wanted to be a part of the Viper world. I never wanted to be a part of the gangs.

My fingers tapped away on the bar as I tried to keep my body still. Energy pulsed through me with no place to go.

“Yeah. Him, Xander, and Zeiden. I forgot you wouldn’t know any of this. They all do this whole thing together.”

I glanced at Rylee and tried for a smile.

“Your life just took a turn for the interesting, didn’t it?” I asked, blowing out a breath and eyeing the bartender, who was taking his sweet time, before turning back to Rylee.

I think she actually blushed, but the lighting on this side of the building was more dance floor dark than over where we’d walked in.

“Right. So what happened with Xander? He’s a good guy, but I don’t get the impression he dates a lot. Maybe just give him a chance to figure himself out?”

One shot slid right in front of me. I waited for Rylee as she picked hers up before I lifted mine and did a little salute before we both downed them.

The bartender looked at me and then Rylee. I winked at him, and he slid a second shot my way. I slammed it before the first had finished, burning away the flesh in my throat.

Rylee glared at the bartender, who promptly slid down to a few other guys that were probably Spectors. Everyone fit here except me.

“Right. Of course. Xander is the head of this little operation, too. I mean, they showed up to that scene like they owned it. I just assumed they had orders to be there, but I should have known, and I should have checked my crush at that door.”

I leaned against the counter, and the stupid grin on Rylee’s face had me dropping my head to the bar like the pain of it all would go away if I couldn’t see it.

I shouldn’t have come tonight, if anything, to protect my heart. Even if my ability to pretend, I didn’t like Xander wasn’t pathetic, there was no pretending I didn’t want what Rylee had.

Safety.

Love.

A future.