Run From Me (Barbed Wire Hearts #2)

5. Xander

FIVE

xander

The room seemed too full, and at the same time, far too empty. Having Cali near me made it nearly impossible to pay attention to anything that Cas was saying. Not that we had much to talk about tonight. It was a party. It was his party and his happiness for once.

Me? I didn’t want this. I didn’t want happiness. Actually, I didn’t want a happiness that could be ripped away from me.

Rylee being kidnapped had nearly driven Cas to a whole new level of demented. No fucking thanks.

I like the cold numbness in my chest right where my heart has once been. The scar that had been far too close reminding me of the battle I’d fought and won and the one reminding me of the only family I had was right here.

I chewed on my lower lip, pulling on the hair of my goatee, because fuck if there wasn’t a magnet in the room.

Holy mother of little black dresses. What the fuck was Cali wearing? I shifted my stance absentmindedly. I’d noticed the dress, but not until I’d already pissed her off and she’d shut the fuck down.

There was something in that woman buried deep, only maybe it wasn’t buried so well if my words alone had sent her into this strange, cold spark of anger.

I didn’t think telling her I couldn’t save her from whatever haunted her would have been enough for this silent treatment, but here we were.

I scanned every inch of her. Every breath had her breasts pressing against the low neck of the dress. Every shift had the fabric bunching and shifting higher and higher. The unbidden thought of those legs wrapped around my hips made my fucking pants just that much tighter.

What was she doing? Why was she so angry at me? Nothing about me said savior.

The world was burning around us most days, and yet here I was, wanting to know what was going on inside that head of hers.

“X, did you hear anything I just said?”

I shook my head, and I saw my brother shifting. It wasn’t hard to see when Cas spotted his bride.

“Your face might crack if you keep doing that shit,” I said, and elbowed him in the ribs.

He shook his head.

“And what you’re looking at isn’t something to smile about?” he poked fun at me.

Yeah. Okay.

“I fucked up. I won’t be getting any closer. Just being honest. I wasn’t the hero.”

I took in a deep breath like that would center me against whatever stance shit I was feeling. I was more like the villain and didn’t get a happily ever after.

But fucking hell, would the world burn if it ever hurt her.

Well, that was another unwanted thought.

Shit.

Time for a distraction. Time to get my head on straight. But as large as Enigma was, built to impress the rich and famous assholes of the city, it wasn’t big enough. She called to me. I could find her anywhere.

It had been an absentminded action; me standing here cracking my knuckles over and over again as I watched her drinking. More like watching her slam shots. That dress rode up far too high as she leaned over the bar.

Zeid elbowed me, and I glared at him before turning back to the bar.

That dress would be burned later.

Zeid was talking, but I didn’t have a damn clue about anything he was saying. I stiffened at the appearance of a shadow stepping closer to Calliope.

I swallowed past the tight ball of anger worming its way through me.

“You okay?” Zeid’s hand bit into my shoulder and only the pain could stop the rage. Zeid knew it too.

One of the younger guys got a little too close to Calliope from where I was standing. I took a step forward, but Zeid’s arm barred me from killing anyone for the moment.

“You into her?” Zeid asked, but I ignored him.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Zeid let me remove his arm with little complaint. Or maybe he was smart and didn’t feel like losing the appendage. I didn’t fucking care, really. I just needed to get to Calliope.

Zeid, and Cas, no doubt, were judging me, but I couldn’t stop myself. It didn’t matter what we were talking about. Nothing was allowed to happen today. We weren’t talking business. They weren’t talking about anything that could keep me away from murdering one of our own if he laid one single hand on what was mine.

Maybe the moment of ‘who would have thought any of us would marry’ was fading away. Now we were training Rylee up on guns and knives, as well as a job here at the gallery just to keep her safe. I didn’t want that headache. So why was I storming over to the fucking bar?

Shit. My feet were taking this floor like it was their mission. The rage was back and blinded me as I reached for the guy who had just tried to chat up Cali.

My hand gripped the pressure point on his shoulder.

“One Spector to another, leave or I have no issues replacing you.”

The guy paled real fast. He was a new recruit. I recognized him now.

“Sorry, sir. Yes, sir.”

I nodded and let him go. He ran.

I reached for Cali as she grabbed a drink from someone next to her. The asshole would get yelled at for not watching his drink later. Logic said no one would steal around here. Except Cali, apparently.

“Oh good, X. Can you watch her?” Rylee asked, clearly giving up. I noticed Rylee fighting for the drink and losing.

I was already grabbing for Cali’s waist as she tried to climb over the bar. She wasn’t drunk, not yet, but damn, was she feisty as fuck and determined. The bartender didn’t even try to fight the vodka bottle out of her hand.

“Xander, let me go.”

I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist and pulled her, bottle and all, toward me.

“Yeah, I got her Rylee. Go dance with that new husband of yours and consider this one managed.”

Cali squirmed.

“Managed? Now I’m just managed? Something to be managed?”

She sucked down more vodka before I could grab the bottle. I took a swig and damn near broke the thing as I slammed it back on the counter. She grabbed the bottle back.

That shit was strong stuff, and she was acting like it was water. I really hoped it took the edge off all the feels I had going on. Was I attracted? Hell yes, I was. But all this other shit? I had to tell myself it was heartburn.

“Cali, this is enough. What has gotten into you?”

She wiggled, and I pulled her against me tighter. That was the first mistake. Her ass pressed against my already-too-aware cock. I’d need a fucking ice shower to get her out of my system tonight.

“I will tell you when it’s enough. I want to forget. I don’t even care if I get fired for drinking on call.”

That caught my attention.

“If you get fired, who’s going to help me with the mayor’s autopsy results?”

Her nails dug into my forearm, forcing me to let her go before I reached out with my other hand and swung her back toward me. Her eyes turned cold. That look alone should have killed the hard-on I was sporting.

“That’s all Calliope is good for. Information. Everyone wants information. Well, fuck that,” she said.

She downed another sip of the bottle.

I grabbed the vodka this time and fought her for it.

“Stop it. You’re going to kill yourself with alcohol poisoning. Put the bottle down.”

She grabbed on with both hands.

“I’m stronger than you, just put the bottle down.” I don’t do doubt, but fuck if my muscles didn’t strain fighting her for it until I could pass it to the bartender, who seemed to understand the need to block the rest of the bottles.

“You’re making a scene, Sparky,” I said as I wrapped her up in my arms and threw her over my shoulder, doing what I could to make sure no one was getting a free show. I took advantage of all the dark corners where security had a tendency to hide during shows. And now, they would work for me to get this crazy woman under control.

“Calliope, what has gotten into you?”

Her cheeks were clearly flushed even in the dim lighting reaching us here. Fuck. My mouth watered to taste her when every breath of hers made it impossible to not notice her breasts. Every single time she inhaled they practically begged to be released from the dress. I couldn’t take my damn eyes away, as it seemed like the dress was stretched to its limits. I couldn’t stop myself as I cupped her cheek with my hand and absently ran my thumb roughly over her bottom lip.

Fuck. Right. Her. That’s a bullshit claim she’d just made. Aside from my cock, she was waking something protective in me, and I hated that she actually thought nothing else about her was worth anything.

I held her chin in between my fingers and spoke as her eyes locked on my face.

“Information is not all you’re good for, Sparky.”

Of course, I didn’t exactly know what her other skills were, but I was willing to sign up to find out.

Her eyes were glassy, telling me the alcohol was hitting her. Maybe I should ask how much she’d had to drink. What had I missed in the few seconds my eyes weren’t on her? But I never got the chance.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and practically jumped up to press her lips against mine.

“Show me, Xander. Show me I am worth more than just information. Show me I’m worth sticking around for.”

Fuck me if I didn’t do as she asked. I leaned into her, keeping her waist wrapped within my arms. No logic passed through my mind as I let her take the lead.

She tasted sweet, like some fruity drink, and yet there was the addictive flavor beneath it that was all her. I didn’t pull away because I was powerless. I should have been able to break this because the one thing I could always count on was my self-control. If not that, than my rage.

Until her.

The lines blurred with her.

My lips danced with hers. I pressed my tongue against hers, playing and tasting and devouring. It was like I had been seeking her my entire life and hadn’t known it until she found me.

I loved the way her mouth was hungry against mine. My cock strained as she pressed her pelvis against me. Or maybe that was me pulling her tighter. I wanted to know what it was to have this body pressed against mine. I wanted to memorize the way every beautiful inch of this woman fit me like a little puzzle piece that wouldn’t fit anywhere else.

I was addicted.

My lungs threatened to explode from lack of air, and I came up just to dive right back in and drown in her.

I needed another fix. I claimed her lips again, losing myself to her. The hem of the dress danced under my fingertips, and suddenly I was more than aware of just how short this thing was.

Subconsciously, I added the intolerable length of this dress to my fuel against her. She would regret this choice later.

I pulled us further into the darkness and took advantage of the short length, slipping my fingers beneath. No one could see us here, but I still shifted us, moving her body so it was hidden behind mine. My cock was so hard, and the moment she moaned against my mouth, I swear I nearly lost it. I should be a better man than I’d ever been in my life—but I wasn’t.

I loved the soft skin of her hip as I slid my hand around and grabbed her ass. The bare flesh should have set off warning bells in my mind, but instead, I let myself enjoy the way her body fit in my hand. I wanted to hear her moan again. I broke the kiss and trailed my tongue over her chin, along her jawline, nipping at her earlobe, and then kissing her neck as I shifted my free hand and slid it down her back, around her hip, and under the dress that had ridden up so high there was no point in her even wearing it right now.

Every inch of her body seemed to respond and beg for more. She pressed into my touch until I slid my hand down to the junction of her thighs.

I should stop.

I’d slept with plenty of women as I fucked the information from their lips, but Calliope? She burned so deep inside me that I was no longer sure my soul was well and truly dead, buried deep in hell, because she had me feeling.

With feeling, though, came weakness.

Something to lose.

Something to fear.

I couldn’t lose.

I pulled away from her, breaking whatever hold she had on me. I yanked down the skirt of her dress and stepped away.

The look in her eyes was clouded, but there was something else there. Hatred.

Neither of us could breathe right, but in that hatred, I found my control. I could deal with hatred. I fucking lived for how many people I could piss off.

“I’ll take you home.”