Ruthless Regret (Ruthless Games Duology #2)

Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ZAIN

I knock on the door, harder than I mean to, and wait. Less than a minute later, it swings open. Esme’s face hardens the moment she sees me.

“What do you want?” Her voice is sharp.

“I need to speak to Ashley.”

The older woman folds her arms. “She isn’t here.”

“Look, I know she doesn’t want to talk to me, but this is important.”

“She isn’t here, Zain,” she repeats, her voice firmer this time. “She went back to New York with her friends.”

“She went?—”

Gone back to New York? Fuck.

The words surprise me. I thought she’d come here, stay with her mom while the sheriff investigated her attack. I didn’t expect her to leave town.

“I need to talk to her. What happened today … It wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“It wasn’t supposed to happen?” Esme’s voice is flat. “You forced her into a marriage.” She sends another glare in my direction. “ Yes , she told us all about it. You manipulated her, used her, and now you expect her to want to talk to you?”

“Things got out of hand, and I went too far.” The second the words leave my lips, I realize it’s true. In my single-minded focus on getting revenge, I did go too far.

She steps forward, face pinched and angry. “You put her through hell. Do you honestly believe that coming here and saying you didn’t mean it is going to fix that?”

“I’m not here to fix anything,” I admit, my voice rougher than I’d like it to be. “I want to apologize, to explain. I should have told her my plan before dragging her onto the television for everyone to see.”

Esme shakes her head. “If you think that was what took you over the line with your behavior, then you need to take a good, long look at yourself. She’s gone back to New York, and that’s where she’s staying. She doesn’t need your apologies. She needs you to leave her alone.”

“I know that. I know I fucked up. But I didn’t think someone would come after her. I didn’t expect them to break into the house and grab her. I didn’t think she’d be in any danger.” From anyone other than me, anyway.

“You’re the one who put her in danger in the first place! You gave no thought to what she might have been going through, with the way you were treating her. You didn’t think about the damage you were causing. All you cared about was what you wanted.”

I can’t deny anything she’s saying. She’s right. My sole focus was revenge, making Ashley pay for her perceived sins. But not anymore, not since last night … when everything changed … and I thought that maybe …

“Ashley has gone, Zain, and that’s something you’re just going to have to deal with,” Esme continues, her voice quieter now, but no less angry. “She’s back in New York, and that’s where she belongs. You’re not going to drag all this mess out into the open again. She lost herself when Jason died, and I lost my relationship with my daughter. It’s taken years for her to find a way to move forward. You’re not going to destroy that for her again.”

“I don’t want to. I just …” I pause, and take a deep breath. “I just need her to know that I’m sorry.”

“I think it’s too late for that. She’s done. And you should be too. What happened to you was awful, but you can’t get that time back. You need to look at the future, instead of the past.”

She’s right. I know she is. No apology is going to undo what I’ve done to Ashley. But I also can’t let the past go. I can’t … not until I have answers.

Esme steps back, her voice calm but firm. “Leave her alone, Zain. She deserves better than what you’ve been putting her through.”

Before I can respond, she closes the door on me, leaving me standing there, staring at it.

What’s my next step? What do I do now?

While I’m unlocking the car, and considering my options, my cell buzzes. I slide into the driver’s seat, and connect the call, without looking at the caller ID.

“What?”

There’s a brief silence before Rook’s voice comes through the speaker. “What’s this I’m hearing about the house burning down?”

“It hasn’t burned down.” I rub my eyes with one hand. “There’s some damage to the entrance hall and front door.”

“But it was on fire?” he presses.

“Yeah.”

Rook exhales sharply. “Zain, getting out of prison was supposed to be a fresh start. What’s going on?”

I ignore his question. I don’t have the energy to get into this right now. “How do you know the house was on fire? It was only an hour ago.”

“Knight.” His voice is clipped. “He’s monitoring everything coming out of Whitstone, including emergency services communications.”

“Of course he is.” My voice is dry. Knight is always one step ahead of everything.

“You need to take a step back. You’ve been out of control since the moment you got out. It’s time to slow down and think carefully about what you’re doing.”

“Yeah, I know.” I sigh. Exhaustion is settling in, pulling at the edges of my mind. I haven’t slept properly in so long, and everything is spiraling out of control faster than I can keep up.

“Knight is already looking into the fire. Do you know how it started?”

I laugh. “Yeah. I saw someone there.” I close my eyes.

“Okay, I’ll tell him to dig. Do you have a description?”

“Of course I fucking don’t. McFadden came out with the fire department. Said he’ll investigate it.”

“Maybe you should go visit him, see what his action plan is. But not tonight. You’re not in the right headspace.”

I open my mouth to argue, but he’s right. My mind is a mess, and if I talk to anyone tonight, I’m only going to make things worse.

“Go somewhere quiet. Lie low, leave it with Knight. Let’s see if we can get some answers.”

I sigh, staring out of the window.

“Go to your parents' place. Don’t be alone right now.”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

After I hang up, I sit there for a moment. The street is quiet, a far cry from the fucking mess going on in my head.

Rook is right, I do need to speak to McFadden again, but not now. He probably won’t see me anyway, not at this hour.

I need to clear my head. I’ll go to my parents’ house, like he suggested. Try and get some sleep, then figure out what my next step will be.