Scars and Burns (No Light Without the Dark #1)

14. Dinalia

14

Dinalia

A fter besting my fighting master… again… I make my way to the kitchens to visit Cook. Or Cookie as I’ve come to call her.

I visit her everyday now. Even began helping her in the kitchens. She runs a tight ship but she’s always willing to teach me. My favorite is baking. I come down to her now when I am not able to be in the forest when I am upset. Unable to take refuge and solace with anyone else in the castle. She’s the only one, other than my Mother, who doesn’t treat me like discarded trash because of my mixed blood. My Mother often joins us too. The three of us, laughing and joking sometimes making a mess of things. It’s almost like Cookie is my long lost aunt. A part of my family I didn’t even know was missing.

She’s making pumpkin loaf cakes today. Using the last of the pumpkins of this year’s harvest as fall is about to end. I’ve been tasked with the icing. The perfect combination of powdered sugar and vanilla that’s ever existed. I ensure it’s nice and warm. Drizzling a healthy coating to every single loaf. I constantly have to keep making more. Since I keep eating it all in between batches. Still embracing this sweet tooth Cookie exposed me to when I first arrived here .

We baked over three dozen by the time it was over. The delicious smell seeping into my Mother’s garden as I make my way into the forest. Other than my time with Cookie in the kitchen and my continued magic lessons with my Mother. The forest is still the only place I’ve felt comfortable. Safe even. I’ve learned every trail here that leads to the Celestial Realm. Even the ones that lead to the border of the Shadowlands.

But my absolute favorite spot is this lookout just above the stream I use to play in. It sits halfway up a waterfall. The waterfall comes from the melting glaziers. Quite a ways off, its force has dwindled a little but the magnificent color still remains. The water is the most gorgeous hue of blue. The sound is so tranquil. Listening to nature and the animals around me. I almost feel at peace inside of me. The best part is its elevation. High enough I see the borders where all three realms meet. Looking out into the world filled with possibilities. But most of all I look out to the distance where I used to live.

Everyone there must have been slaughtered because I’ve never once seen smoke rising over there signaling any form of life. In fact, each year there are fewer and fewer smoke streams rising in the distance. How one realm can continue to slaughter and massacre entire towns year after year is beyond me.

I sit here each day. Thinking about that night a lot.

If I had been able to do more. To fight the way I can now. We would have been spared. My village would have lived. I never would have had to flee my home and come to the Middle Kingdom. My Mother never would have had to marry King Elio. Enduring his constant disapproval. I never questioned and regarded myself worth so little until I received every wandering eye in this Goddess forsaken castle.

Someday I’ll leave. I have no idea where I’ll go. But I’ll find a place that feels like home again.

Sitting on the ledge. I’m looking off into the distance when I hear something rustling in the bushes. I get up to go investigate. The dark creatures that have been rising have become more and more aggressive. They feel the magic of the earth changing.

I unsheathe my blades. Ready to defend myself if needed. I hear a weak little sound. It almost sounds like a roar. I push some leaves away to find a tiny little cat. It’s a lynx. It looks lost.

Lynxes live high up in the mountains, in the ice and snow. And this one can’t be more than a few months old based on its size. It should be snuggled up in a cave protected by its Mother. I wonder what happened and how it got all the way down here.

Knowing this poor little guy isn’t a threat. I sheath my blades behind my back again. Kneeling down, I scooch toward them, and hold out my hand. I give them a small smile and say, “Hello, do you need some help? I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I leave and come back with some food. Setting it in a small pile. Only a few feet away from them. I sit back even further than before. To give them plenty of space.

Nervous and fearful for obvious reasons. It looks around waiting to see if something bad is going to strike out. I sit quietly waiting. Allowing them to take their time. They sniff the food and eat it all. Eventually, they crawl out from their hiding place beneath the bushes and make their way over to me. Sniffing and cautiously crawling on top of my lap. I begin to stroke their head, saying “See I’m not so bad. And you…” my voice trails off. I stare down at the little animal curled up in a ball. Recalling how they are shunned for their aggression and territorial behavior. “Well, you’re not as scary as everyone thinks either.”

They’re covered in dried blood. Carefully, I pick them up and make my way down to the stream. I’m cradling the little lynx in my arms. Looking down at them, I give their nose a little stroke, “How about a bath?” I ask .

A small sound is my only response. Giggling, I say, “I’ll take that as a yes”

I wash the little creature. It didn’t really seem to like the water but I got the job done.

It takes awhile for the little thing to dry with all the fur they have. So I play with it a bit. Letting it chase me. Hoping the movement will help them dry off faster.

Once thoroughly dry I take them into my arms. Cradling them once more. They snuggle up to me. Giving me a few licks on the hands as I rub their belly. Their eyes are heavy. Fighting sleep like a child. I smile down at them.

Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. Although I have my Mother and Cookie, I spend most of my days by myself. I have ever since we came here. No one is willing to risk association with the disgraceful unwanted ward.

At that moment I make the decisions to keep them. I’ll hide them away. If they grow too big, I’ll find a place for them to stay in the forests. And once they are grown and old enough to take care of themselves, I’ll let them go if they wish. But this little baby. This little lynx, who made its way all the way here from the high mountains refusing to give up, will live to grow big and strong.