Secluded with the Rogue

Chapter 3

Three

December 21, 1819

Armestead Hall

North of Watford

Hertfordshire, England

E dward watched the front drive from where he stood at the floor-to-ceiling window in the portrait gallery. Many of the guests had broken into smaller groups—some to make paper decorations for the hall, some to compile a list of parlor games they wished to play each night, and some to do nothing more than read in the library. And one group had decided to make certain everyone knew how to perform the current popular dance steps and were conducting lessons in the ballroom.

He, however, had wanted to do none of that.

Instead, he’d needed a break from his sisters’ constant chatter or the bragging from the men, so he’d retreated to the portrait gallery. It was antiquated and old-fashioned, which meant none of the guests naturally wished to come here… unless they wanted privacy for scandalous endeavors.

That had a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He wanted the privacy, but as of yet, he hadn’t found a woman to indulge in scandal with; perhaps he wouldn’t during the house party, and that was fine with him too. As he watched the children cavort on the lawn and play in the several inches of fresh snow on the lawn with their governesses standing by, a traveling coach made its ponderous way up the lane and then turned onto the half-moon drive. Eventually, the dull black vehicle stopped at the top of the curve.

Once the driver hopped down, he opened the door to the coach and put down the steps. Seconds later, he assisted a woman out of the vehicle, but she wore a hooded cloak, so she wasn’t immediately identified. Another woman Edward assumed was a maid or a companion exited next. They stood there with a breeze rippling the folds of skirting and cloaks while talking to the driver, who gestured toward the house, no doubt trying to convince them to go inside.

Who the devil was that? He’d thought all the invited guests had already arrived days ago. Despite himself, he was curious, and he continued to watch the scene below until the women moved out of his sightline.

Tea wasn’t far off, so perhaps he could keep himself busy until then, or perhaps he’d go bedevil his sisters. It was rare that they were together at the same time. Of course, he could convince Reggie to leave his wife’s side and go riding with him through the snow-covered fields. After all, it was an exercise they used to enjoy together.

The decision was removed from his grasp when Burson found him in the portrait gallery.

“There has been a late arrival for the house party, Your Lordship,” the butler said without his usual preamble. “I thought you should be aware.”

Edward nodded. “Who is it? I saw the traveling coach arrive.”

“Apparently, the roads are quite hazardous with snow, and it took more time than the traveler anticipated.”

“I can believe that, but who is the late arrival?”

“The Viscountess of Havelock. She is a friend of Lady Katherine’s and was invited by her. I informed your sister of her arrival, but she referred me to you as she is busy with her sisters.”

Though he didn’t recognize the title, Edward nodded. “Very well. Where is she?”

“The lady is currently in the entryway, trying to explain to the footmen why she is late and which pieces of luggage are more fragile than the others. I had one of the footmen take some of her luggage as well as her maid up to the guest room she’ll share with Miss Thompson.”

“I see.” Miss Thompson was a younger lady who had tried to gain his attention, for it was no secret she wished to marry a title and wanted an engagement by the year’s end. “Then I shall go down directly.”

“Very good, Your Lordship.” Then the butler departed.

Edward massaged his temples, for yet another megrim was brewing. He might be an earl, but he didn’t enjoy entertaining or socializing, especially when much of it was due to being housebound with all these guests.

By the time he reached the entry hall, he wasn’t in a mood to do the pretty with yet another person, but when his gaze connected with the viscountess’ as she turned to address him, every muscle in his body froze, for he recognized her. Why the devil hadn’t the butler used her birth title—Lady Nancy?

She stood at an average height with her blonde hair upswept into a messy chignon. A dress of gray wool paired with an ivory shawl did nothing to showcase her body with curves in all the right places. She’d just taken off her cloak, for she still held it in her hands. When last he’d seen her, she had been a willowy slim young girl, but obviously the years had been kind to her; perhaps she was a mother. Regardless, the change in appearance made her all the more attractive. He closed his mouth with an audible snap of his teeth.

It wouldn’t do to stare at her as if he were a green youth.

“Lord Armestead.” Her hazel eyes widened as she beheld him, raked her gaze up and down his figure. “I… I’d hoped Kitty would be the one to greet me.”

“She is otherwise engaged at the moment.” Good God, what is she doing here? The woman who’d turned him down thirteen years ago, the woman he suspected had broken his heart even before he’d known he might have been in love with her? For that matter, why didn’t he realize that she was friends with his youngest sister? He’d never told Kitty of his rejection, so how did she know?

“Lady Nancy.” He stared, couldn’t help it, for he hadn’t seen her in years, but she had obviously married if she was a viscountess. “Uh, welcome. I never thought I would see you again after… er, after our last meeting.” Well aware the butler looked on with curiosity, heat went up the back of his neck.

The shock on her face mirrored the same uneasiness currently coursing through his veins. “That was another lifetime ago.”

Burson softly cleared his throat. “Might I take your cloak, my lady?”

“Uh…” The viscountess looked about the entryway as if monsters would seep out of the woodwork and attack her. “No. Excuse me.” Then she wrenched open the front door and fled outside.

Edward blinked. He glanced at the butler. “That was rather unexpected.”

“Indeed, Your Lordship.” Burson frowned. “Shall I continue to have her luggage brought upstairs? I sent her maid to the servants’ hall to settle in.”

“Yes, continue. I’ll go after the lady and see if can’t bring her to calm.” Though that would be a huge feat, since she no doubt still despised him. While Burson’s expression said that might be more trouble than it was worth, Edward dashed outside, following the viscountess down the handful of steps to the curved drive below.

Snow came down with lazy elegance, drifting through the dull gray skies with big, lacy flakes, but while it was an annoyance to be sure, his attention was focused on the woman donning her black cloak who gazed forlornly after the traveling coach that rumbled off the drive and onto the lane that would lead to the carriage house.

“I wanted to go home.” There was such disappointment in her voice that it tugged at his chest. “I suddenly changed my mind; coming here was a mistake.”

How she knew he’d come after her, he would never know. Perhaps she heard the crunch of the snow beneath his bootheels, or perhaps she felt his presence behind her, but Edward couldn’t help but frown. “Is it the prospect of attending a house party you don’t like or is it the advancing Christmastide season?” When she didn’t answer and the snow continued to fall around them, he huffed, and the air clouded in front of him. “Or perhaps it’s my presence you object to?”

They would have things out between them, or he would lock himself in his rooms, for he couldn’t survive such a strain over the next couple of weeks, and besides, this conversation was a long time coming.

With a sigh, she turned to face him. The bottom two inches of her dress were wet from the snow, and he hoped she wore half-boots beneath that fabric instead of slippers. “Everything you mentioned?”

He shrugged. “You tell me, Lady Nancy.” Not wanting to seem weak before her, Edward crossed his arms at his chest. “Why the devil would you even wish to be here? Surely you would have known who the host of the event was.” Was he still a touch irritated after all this time that she’d refused his suit? Of course. Should he have grown as a person and forgotten that slight? Again, yes, but seeing her again, taking him by surprise had shocked the hell out of him, and the irrational part of his brain urged him to make a cake of himself again.

I can’t do that.

“Kitty invited me, and for the love of heaven, don’t call me Lady Nancy or even Lady Havelock. You and I have history between us, and quite frankly, I have grown tired of formality.”

That only made her more mysterious. “What does your husband have to say about inviting a veritable stranger—and a man at that—to call you by your Christian name?”

“Ha.” When she blew out a breath, the air clouded briefly about her head. “I have been a widow for two and a half years, and even if I hadn’t been, I long ago ceased caring what my husband thought.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise. There was much to assume in that statement, so he started with the obvious. “You are a widow.” It bore repeating and wasn’t a question.

“Yes. I also have a twelve-year-old son.”

“Ah.” He relaxed his arms, and not knowing what to do with his hands, he clasped them behind his back. “Did you bring him? My sisters have several children between them, and he would be in good company.”

“Unfortunately, he has chosen to remain at school with his friends for the holiday season.” Sadness briefly crossed her face as she pulled her cloak more tightly around her. “I was perfectly content to stay in London by myself… until I received a letter from Kitty a couple of days ago and thought it might be lovely to socialize…”

“Except then the reality of the matter pressed in upon you and none of it appealed.” How odd they had that in common.

“Yes.” She nodded. “Where I’ll be the first to admit I am lonely during this time of year and without my son, I’m not certain the answer is to join a house party already in progress.”

“I feel much the same, except I am, unfortunately, the host and therefore must interact to a point.” From his vantage point, he could still see his nieces and nephews chasing each other through the snow. At least the children enjoyed the weather while he certainly did not. “I won’t attempt to try and sway your mind. You can leave if you wish, but I’ll wager traveling here was a wretched trial due to the road conditions and snow.”

“To be honest, I thought we would be stranded on the road if not the lane leading here more than once.” She glanced past him to the facade of the manor. “Then you believe I should stay here for the duration?”

“At least until the roads clear. Then you can decide.” Had he just committed himself to more heartache? Yes, she’d turned him down thirteen years ago, and yes, she’d married someone else, but that didn’t mean he had a renewed interest in her, did it? Merely for familiarity’s sake?

“And in the meantime?” She met his gaze, and her eyes were now more green than brown. Was she laboring beneath high emotion?

“Try to enjoy yourself?” When she didn’t respond, he frowned. “If you feel you can’t do that because I am in residence, then set yourself at ease. I will avoid your company as best I can.” After all, he would be a nodcock to wish to pursue her again even if she was available.

A frown pulled at the corners of her mouth. “You needn’t do that. In fact, being under the same roof as you is not what is making me uncomfortable.”

“Then what is?”

“Life?” She shrugged and took a few steps along the drive. “Trying to discover where I fit into this new existence now?” When she snuggled into the folds of the cloak, he opened his mouth to invite her back inside, but tamped on the urge. “When I came out of mourning, I assumed that I would become a new woman, ready to reenter society and have some semblance of an existence, but instead, it was almost as if I couldn’t make myself leave the house.”

“Why?” Despite himself, he was curious about her, and how she’d come to this pass. When last he’d known her, she had been an outgoing, vivacious young woman with the world seemingly at her feet. “Are you frightened, miss your husband too much?”

“Frightened? That is difficult to say. Perhaps I am of many things.” Shadows clouded her eyes as she stared at him. “Yet here I am, baring the dark secrets of my soul to a man I used to know once upon a time.”

“Well, isn’t that better than doing so to a stranger?” His attempt at a joke fell flat, and he heaved out a sigh. “At least you know I’ll have discretion.”

“You probably will. Gossip never seems to touch your name.”

There was that.

“I suppose I’ve been desperate to talk to someone, and I couldn’t bear to mention my troubles to Kitty, when she was just beginning her romance.” She waved a hand as if to dismiss everything. “I often wonder if I will ever remarry. Since I am only one and thirty, I suppose people will say I still have life ahead of me and that I could start again.”

“But you don’t want that.” Again, it wasn’t a question. Why the devil were they standing out here talking when he was frozen to the bone?

“I don’t know.” She blew out a breath.

“You loved Havelock very much, then?”

“Love?” Her bark of laughter held a bitter edge. “I rather think I gave up on love long ago, for my husband admitted to me when our son was quite young that he’d never truly loved me at all, that his affections lay with his mistress and always would.”

Well, damn.

“I am sorry to hear that. Any man who does that to his wife is beyond the pale.”

“And like a ninny, I believed him, for my head had been turned with his pretty, lying words of how much he loved me .”

“Ah.” With an amazing amount of willpower, he kept his own counsel on the fact that she’d rejected him but then went on to marry a man who’d never loved her at all. But then, he—Edward—hadn’t been in love with her all those years ago.

Had he?

As he’d admitted to himself while talking to Reg a few days ago, there had been no way to tell, but his heart had been bruised, certainly shattered. For years following that event, he assumed it was because he’d been wildly embarrassed as his name had been thrown into the gossip mill, but as time had continuously marched onward, and he’d had an uncanny ability to connect with a woman beyond the capacity of mistress, he rather suspected he’d cared more for Lady Nancy than he wished to own up to at the time.

Which left him a tad bit terrified himself.

“Also, I am frightened by what I might become if I don’t remarry,” she continued in a desperate whisper as tears welled in her eyes. “What if the second time is as empty and fraught with lies as the first was? Because I can’t, apparently, discern the truth from the dissembling.”

He could no longer stand there as if he were immune to her suffering or keep her out in the cold even if she didn’t seem willing to move. On his honor as a gentleman, he needed to take care of her. For that tenuous thread they might have once had for a night in a ballroom so long ago. “The only thing I can say is that there are no guarantees in this life, and that sometimes, if we want something, we must go forward in faith and hope for the best.”

“Meaning I should just accept whatever is thrown my way lest I spend the remainder of my life alone?”

When a tear fell to her cheek, his chest tightened. “No, of course not.” Because he might be the nodcock he feared, Edward closed the distance between them and gently gathered her in his arms. For several moments, she resisted, her whole body tensed for flight, but then she uttered a tiny sigh and relaxed into him with her forearms caught between them, resting on his chest. “You are a widow within the beau monde , and that gives you so much freedom over unmarried innocents. There are many avenues open for you.” He hadn’t anticipated how utterly lovely she would feel in his arms or how absurdly the warmth of her called out to him. But it was the faint scent of lavender that wafted to his nose that had him holding her a smidgeon tighter. “Hell, if you decided to be wicked and wild, no one would bat an eyelash, because that is your right.”

She uttered an unladylike snort. “I have never been wicked a day in my life.”

“Now that is perhaps the most horrible statement of all,” he said in a whisper and caught himself before he pressed a kiss into her hair. “Are you feeling better after unburdening yourself?”

“Honestly?” Nancy drew back so she could peer up into his face. “I am.”

“Do you wish to remain here for the duration?”

Questions appeared in her eyes, but at least the tears were gone for the moment. “I can’t think of a valid reason why I shouldn’t.” Then a shiver racked her body, and she edged out of his arms. “I apologize for talking so intimately to you.”

“There is no reason for apologies or embarrassment.” When he’d first seen her, he wanted to question her as to why she’d refused him, but now it didn’t matter. She was simply her just as he was always him. “Allow me to escort you back into the house. We’ll have tea in the drawing room with my sisters and anyone else who wishes to join, and you can work at putting warmth back into your extremities.”

For long moments, she studied him before finally nodding. “Thank you, Armestead. I appreciate the latitude.”

“As you said, we are past formalities. Call me Edward if you wish to, but the title is fine as well.” Then he offered her his arm crooked at the elbow. “Honestly, I shall plant myself by the fireplace and drape an arm casually on the mantle but in reality, I’ll be sucking up the fire’s heat without seeming desperate.”

When they shared a laugh, some of the walls and thorns around his heart shook and shuddered as if that organ were coming awake after a very long sleep.

“I can’t blame you, and a cup of tea will be most welcome.”

It was a start, but to what he couldn’t venture to say. He only knew he felt slightly different than he had this morning.