Secluded with the Rogue

Chapter 7

Seven

Later that night

N ancy glanced at Kitty as she came into her room.

“Well, you are quite lovely tonight. Your husband will be hard-pressed to keep from staring at you,” she said with a smile as her maid put the finishing touches on her hair.

The other woman did a bit of simpering before flouncing onto the end of the bed while Nancy sat at a vanity. “I adore pretty clothes, but don’t tell Reginald. In his mind, I’ve made myself out to be a hoyden who’d rather don breeches and go riding.”

“But you like doing that as well,” she said with a smile, for she’d known Kitty long enough that she’d heard of many of her escapades.

“I do.” A faint blush went through her cheeks. “Yet I also love putting on pretty gowns, for sometimes, it’s easier to catch a man’s attention with a décolletage on display and the swish of taffeta skirting.”

She would have no argument from Nancy. Kitty’s gown of white taffeta had white rabbit fur lining the bodice as well as the bottom hem. A sash of crimson satin emphasized her waist and fell into a large bow in the back. A sprig of holly had been placed in her upswept hair.

“The gown is lovely. I’m a tad jealous.”

“You are more than welcome to borrow it.”

Nancy snorted. “I’ll wager my hips are wider than yours, and I know my bosom is fuller due to pregnancies.”

A soft smile curved Kitty’s lips. “Well, your gown is nothing to sneeze at, and the dark green suits you.”

“Thank you.” Nancy drew her fingertips along the bodice where clear glass beads had been sewn. They were sprinkled over the skirting as well. Red satin ribbons had been fashioned into rosettes and sewn onto the waist. “I wasn’t certain if it would be lavish enough.”

“It’s perfect.”

Her maid nodded as well as she wove red ribbons into Nancy’s updo. “Do you have a necklace in mind for tonight, Lady Havelock?”

“No. I’ll go without.” The fact of the matter was she didn’t have many pieces, for her husband hadn’t given her gifts. He saved the coin to spend on his mistress.

“Then you are finished. I’ll carry down your bonnet and muff to the butler so you can don them for caroling.”

“Thank you.” Once the maid exited the room, Nancy sighed as she glanced at Kitty. “Will you come with us tonight for wassail?”

“I would rather not. My stomach hasn’t been quite right since breakfast, so I don’t want to chance being away from the manor.”

“Ah.” She’d eaten the same foods that Kitty had, but Nancy suspected that wasn’t the cause of her friend’s upset. However, she kept her own counsel. “Well, I promised to make up part of the party.”

“I know. Edward mentioned in passing to me that he’s going too.” Speculation reflected in Kitty’s eyes. “Which is odd because he very rarely sings.”

“Does he not enjoy it?”

“I would have no idea, but he is quite good at it.” Kitty smiled again. “Sometimes at Christmastide, my sisters and I cajole him into singing carols with us on Christmas Eve before we all head to midnight services at the church in the village.”

“That sounds lovely.” What else didn’t she know about the earl. With a frown, she turned on the vanity stool to face her friend. “Do you think he’ll select a bride from this house party?”

“I’m not sure. He has been surprisingly absent from many of the activities; he didn’t even help decorate the drawing room or ballroom, and he does like things just so.” For a few moments, Kitty remained silent. “For the past couple of years, he’s debated on whether or not he should find a bride and marry, but I rather doubt any of these ladies will catch his eye or captivate his mind.”

“Why? Aside from my roommate Miss Thompson, there are some pleasant, clever women here.”

“In the simplest terms? They aren’t you.”

Shock went through Nancy’s chest. “What does that mean?”

One of Kitty’s eyebrows went up. “I think he’s still carrying a tendre for you but…”

“But what?”

“Edward hasn’t talked about it, but I think you broke his heart all those years ago when you refused his suit.”

“Oh.” That was what she had feared after spending time with him since her arrival at Armestead Hall. “I didn’t mean to. And how could I have made such an impression on him years ago? We’d barely known each other. I mean, sharing two sets and a kiss didn’t equate to love.”

Did it? If she were to ask her body and her mind, they would both prepare an argument for her.

“Who knows how the male mind works. All I know is that my brother has guarded his heart quite strenuously since that time. As far as I know, he hasn’t let a woman close… except for you this week.”

Nancy frowned. “That’s sad.” And somewhat telling, for she knew beyond any doubt she had never been as comfortable with any man than she was when she was with Edward.

“Perhaps, but that is often how life is.” Kitty’s gaze was bright as she leveled it on Nancy. “Here’s the question I wish to have answered. Do you fancy him now? Both times when you and he have returned to the manor after outings these past two days, the pair of you have seemed happier and more animated than I’ve ever seen you, but it’s been more than that. Dare I say content?”

“Oh.” Heat sneaked into Nancy’s cheeks. She suddenly found something interesting in one of the beads on her skirting. “I don’t know about that, but I might perhaps fancy him if the circumstances were right.”

“Ah.” A wide grin took possession of Kitty’s lips. Delight twinkled in her eyes. “Has he kissed you?”

“A few times.” There was no harm in admitting to that.

Kitty clasped her hands in her lap. “And?”

The heat in her cheeks intensified. “They were lovely.”

“Clearly the nodcock isn’t doing it right.” After a giggle, Kitty cleared her throat. “Has Edward done other… things to you?”

“Kitty!” Her whole body was on fire now merely thinking of what he might do if they let kisses carry them away.

“Well, has he?” The other woman was clearly not repentant. “When the kisses are good, hands get to wandering, and?—”

Nancy held up a hand. “No, he has not.”

“That’s too bad. When Reginald and I first coupled, everything changed for our relationship. I was still very opposed to marriage, but somehow with him, it didn’t seem so terrifying.” Her grin softened as she no doubt dipped into memories. “That didn’t mean I fought against it or that he didn’t have to try quite steadily to convince me, but sometimes it takes the mind a bit to match what the body knows.”

A sigh escaped her. It had been a long time indeed since she’d been touched intimately by a man let alone bedded by one. “Well, I don’t think there will be an opportunity for that sort of thing tonight while caroling.”

Their laughter blended together in the room.

“Don’t wait too long, Nancy.” Kitty slipped off the bed. She shook the wrinkles from her skirting. “Love is wonderful with the right man. So is the other stuff, but love makes it even more wonderful and right.” Then she winked. “And if Edward proves stubborn, give him a gentle push. It’s not scandalous for the woman to tell her man exactly what she wants from him. Some men simply need the guidance.”

Oh, dear heavens. Her cheeks blazed. Did she dare to give him a hint that she might be willing to take him to bed? Were they not still strangers? “I’ll bear that in mind.”

Kitty nodded. “I am hoping for the best. It would be such fun to have you in the family and married to my brother.”

“Don’t tempt fate, Kitty. All of this is just speculation, and I want love in my life. If he’s not capable of that…” As apparently her husband hadn’t been . “Well, I want something more than I have already been given. I won’t marry again for less, and I don’t know if your brother is even thinking along those lines.” Regardless of what he’d told her he wanted for his future.

“Remember, darling, it is the season of miracles,” Kitty said with a wink then she left Nancy’s bedchamber.

T hey were at the third cottage on the outskirts of the village when the cold began to seep into her bones. Edward had started the evening in the front of the eight-person group, but now he stood next to her in the back row.

Of course, his voice was lovely. That deep baritone sent shivers of need down her spine and awoke butterflies in her lower belly until she was almost drunk on the sound. A couple of times, she’d been so engrossed in listening to him that she’d stopped her own singing and had to be nudged back into it. Her husband never did anything like that. He hated doing anything at his country estate, was very rarely there as she’d told Edward earlier.

And over the years, she had assumed the earl was just like him, but that was anything but the truth. Unexpectedly, feelings for him rose within her that both confused and excited her. Why him and why now? When he’d kissed her thirteen years ago, that had been her first ever kiss, and though it had been magical, the kisses he’d given her over the past couple of days had made her feel equally so.

Did that mean she was falling in love with him for little more than attention and kisses? Or was it due to the fact he wasn’t the same man she’d known all those years ago? That he’d changed and that she rather liked the man he’d become?

It was too difficult to ascertain.

“Nancy?”

The barely audible whisper yanked her from those thoughts. “Hmm?” She glanced upward into his face, accidentally tumbled into his dark brown eyes.

“We are moving to the next cottage.” Then he took her hand, grasped her fingers, and led her through the snowy field after the rest of the group.

“Oh!” Yet she grinned as she clutched his gloved hand, for he didn’t have to touch her at all, especially in the presence of the others in the group, but he had. “Sorry. I was woolgathering, I suppose.”

Why was being with him easier now that she was older? Now that he was older? Was it simply because they both had life experience and actually knew what they wanted? Internally, she gasped. Was he what she wanted at this time in her life?

After caroling at the last cottage for the evening, the group was treated to wassail and the singers eagerly partook of the rum-laced punch. It was soothing to her parched and cold throat, but after two cups, she was quite warm and woozy. From the grin Edward shot her from across the room, he felt the effects of the punch as well.

Then they were once more out into the cold night. The party piled into the sleigh, but she declined to jam herself into the mix.

“I will walk back to the manor. Lord knows I could use the exercise, and perhaps my head will clear from the punch before dinner.” Honestly, she just wanted to step away from the crowd, and it was a beautiful night, regardless.

The few attempts at cajoling her into the vehicle were declined.

“What of you, Lord Armestead?” one of the younger men asked.

He bounced his gaze between her and the group. “I will accompany Lady Havelock home. What sort of gentleman would I be if I left her to her own devices on a darkened country lane?”

“Suit yourself,” the man said with a shrug.

When the driver looked at Edward, he nodded.

“Take them home, James. I’ll be along in a half hour or so.”

“As you wish, my lord.” With the slap of the reins against the dappled gray mare’s flanks, he urged the animal into motion.

Seconds later, the sleigh left them alone, and even the jingle of bells on the harness faded into the distance. Her breath clouded about her head, and as she glanced up into the sky, the clouds had cleared. Millions of stars lay sprinkled through the midnight velvet heavens.

When she brought her gaze to him, it was to find him watching her. “You didn’t need to escort me back to the manor. I could have managed.”

“It is no bother.” His grin sent flutters into her belly. “Besides, I wanted to, and truly, it was bad form to let you go alone.” As he offered her his crooked arm, he shrugged. “Truth be told, I’m glad for the time alone with you.”

“Oh? Why?” Nancy slipped her hand through the bent elbow, and another thrill went down her spine as he patted her hand with his free one.

“No particular reason other than I enjoy your company.”

“That is lovely to hear, and oddly enough, I feel the same.” There was something almost magical about walking along a country lane in the dark with a handsome man in a snow-covered wonderland. “Have you ever liked a Christmastide in your life?”

“Hmm. What an interesting question.” He adjusted his stride to match hers, and she so appreciated that, for he was a good half foot taller than her. “I suppose there is one year that stands out in my memories.”

“Were you a boy?”

“A young man, really.” As his chuckle released into the air, a delicious shiver went through her body. “I was probably sixteen at the time; Kitty was eight to put things into perspective. My parents were busy with last-minute preparations for the Christmas Eve ball and the dinner for the area tenant farmers and villagers. My sisters had been particularly excited for the holidays that year.”

“You did something lovely for them, didn’t you?” Knowing that he had the capacity to think of others above himself endeared him to her all the more.

“I suppose you could say that.” Emotion graveled his voice. “I’d saved my pocket money for a few months in order to buy each of them dolls that had painted porcelain faces as well as a new hair ribbon a piece. One of the maids wrapped them for me since I’m not good at that sort of thing.”

“Oh, that is so sweet!” Holding onto his arm tighter, Nancy was grateful for his warm and solid body that blocked the chilly winter breeze.

“They deserve every good thing in the world, and at the time, I was rather an insufferable prick to them.” The earl shrugged. “Though it isn’t widely celebrated or even spoken about, after watching my father and mother care for everyone on the estate, I have come to believe that Christmastide is a time to gather together the people closest to you, the people you greatly admire and respect, even love.” His swallow was audible. “I haven’t been the best at such a thing, but I am trying; I want my family to know that I love them even though I don’t say it with any sort of regularity.”

“That is perhaps the most honest thing I have heard you say since I’ve been here.” Unexpectedly, she lost a piece of her heart to him in that moment. “I hope they known what a treasure you are.”

He snorted. “I don’t know about that. After everything, I am still their older brother, and I tend to poke into their business and try to manage their lives.”

“With love, because you are concerned for them.” Her mind went to the conversation she’d had with Kitty earlier that day. Not for worlds would she tell him of her suspicions about the woman, but he would undoubtedly be pleased, for with each passing conversation, he was showing himself as a man who valued his family and held them in high esteem. What sort of father would he make? “Shall I tell you one of my favorite memories, then?”

“I would like that above all things.” When he turned his head and peered down at her, their gazes connected, and something passed between them.

Suddenly, her throat went dry as she wondered what life would have been like if she’d just accepted his proposal all those years ago. She wanted to know everything about him and tell him of her life, unflattering though it had been.

“Er…” After clearing her throat, Nancy began her story. “It was my son’s third Christmastide, and the first one when he’d been aware of what was going on. Oh, the boy was so joyful and excited to receive a set of tin soldiers from me. He danced about the drawing room with a soldier in each hand, and then spent the rest of the day constantly lining them up only to knock them down with a little metal cannon that shot out a pretend ball.” The memory gave her a chuckle. “It was the first time that I realized how lucky I was to have this small human and be his mother; he brought me such great happiness.”

“I could easily see that. What did his father give him that year?”

Some of the warmth of the memory faded as the grim reality came hurtling back. “Nothing except disappointment. I was in my confinement period, waiting to give birth to my first daughter. Havelock had spent Christmas Eve either at his club or with his mistress; I didn’t bother to ask, but he didn’t come home until it was time for Christmas dinner.” When tears welled in her eyes and she pressed her lips together, Edward slipped an arm about her shoulders. “So, that was why I spent a quiet day at home with my son. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, though. I hope he knows how much I love him, even though he’s a bit lost right now.”

“I can almost guarantee that he does. All boys are like that during such an age.” For long moments, they walked in silence. “I’m sorry your marriage wasn’t what you’d hoped.”

She couldn’t help but shrug, which dislodged his arm. “Sometimes they aren’t. Relationships are like that.”

“Like what?” The confusion in his tone was honest as well.

“That they don’t work unless with the right person. No matter how much one party wishes for things to be different.”

“Then the best we can hope for in this life is to keep trying to find that right person. Everyone should belong to someone, don’t you think? To feel nothing more than to fit, to be loved for themselves, flaws and all?”

“Yes, I rather do.” And in that moment, she firmly believed this was exactly where she was supposed to be, walking beside this man who could have been her husband if she hadn’t been so na?ve and stubborn.

There was no need for continued conversation, for merely being together was special enough. With each step, Nancy grew closer to him, and by the time he stopped her at a specific point on the road, she feared she might like him more than was necessarily good for her.

“Ah, pause here for one moment, if you please,” he whispered and then moved her slightly about. “Right here.”

“Why?” Truly, she was baffled. Then she shivered, for it was quite cold, and the chilly air nipped at her cheeks and nose.

“This is one of my favorite spots in the whole area.”

She couldn’t help but frown, for she had no idea what he meant. “Why?”

“Look.” The earl pointed and she peered in that direction with her gaze. “You can see the outline of the hall with the dark shadows of the trees in the background. The sloping lawns, but with the snow covering everything, it’s one of the most magical scenes I have ever beheld.” Pleasure threaded through his voice, and when she glanced at him, his lips had curved into a grin. “Even better now.”

Feeling much like a demented parrot, she asked for a third time, “Why?”

“You are here.” Edward shrugged, as if the answer should have been obvious. “It makes all the difference.” Before she could find the words to respond, he bundled her into his arms and claimed her lips with his.

As he pulled slightly back, she sighed, for it was the height of romantic, and she’d had precious little of that over the years. “Perhaps you have had too much rum punch tonight.”

“Or I haven’t had nearly enough, for all I can think of in this moment is how much I want to kiss you again,” he whispered, and the wicked gleam in his eyes sent flutters into her lower belly.

Throwing caution to the wind, Nancy smiled. “I don’t believe I bid you nay, Armestead.”

With a soft growl, he pulled her more comfortably into his embrace and kissed her again, moving over her mouth with an assurance and confidence that threatened to swamp her.

As she’d wished to do all evening, she returned his kisses as if she were a wanton, and because he was quite skilled in the art, it took little time for heat to transfer into her blood and her body to awaken with need and awareness she assumed she’d lost long ago.

It didn’t matter who might come upon them on the country lane while she shamelessly drank from him, took everything he was willing to give, everything she should have had all those years ago. There was indeed magic in those kisses, and she wanted so much more with this man who made her look at things so much differently than she had years ago. Little by little, she fell for him; the sensation of pinwheeling through clouds assailed her on that winter’s night, and once more a tiny piece of her heart flew into his keeping.

Am I naught but a ninny for this?

Perhaps it didn’t matter because it was so far removed from anything she’d ever received from a man before.

Eventually, they broke apart, for no other reason than they needed to breathe. As she stared up into his face, she giggled, and when he laughed too, her heart squeezed.

“The tip of your nose is quite frozen, Lady Havelock,” he quipped as he took her gloved hand and threaded their fingers together.

If she could, she would dance amidst the stars… that was how happy she was in that moment. As they walked up the hill on the country lane, she couldn’t help but grin. “Whose fault is that, Your Lordship? You have kept me out in the night air far too long.”

“True, but it was quite worth it, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely.” How was any of this possible? Could two people have met at the wrong time then find each other later in life on a whim? “Perhaps there will be hot tea or warm milk at the manor before dinner.”

He chuckled. “No more rum punch? Or even brandy to thaw your toes and fingers?”

Already, she was very nearly drunk on him . “Not unless you want me to do wicked things to you because my mind is fuzzy.”

Had that been her making such a flirty comeback?

There was a barely audible gasp on his part, and he stumbled as he missed a step, which made her spirit soar. “Well then, if you catch me woolgathering at dinner instead of conversing with the guests around me, you’ll know why.”

For the first time in far too many years, the kernel of hope in Nancy’s heart bloomed.