Second Chances with St. Nick

11. St. Nick and Serendipity

The hospital stood eerily quiet when I arrived. Nobody sat at the reception desk and no visitors waited in the hall. The only sounds were distant voices and squeals of laughter. The “whump” of my boots on the tiles echoed around the cavernous entryway, making me feel like an intruder.

Signage clearly wasn’t a priority, so I followed the noise, like a trail of breadcrumbs. As I moved further into the building, the giggles and shrieks grew louder, and I smiled. Laughter and joy had been missing in my life recently, and it was good to hear.

As the noise swelled to a crescendo, a sign on the wall read, “Ward B, Pediatrics.” With trembling hands, and blood roaring in my ears, I put down my bag and stepped around the corner.

In the center of the big room, surrounded by a gaggle of excited children, sat St. Nick. Santa Claus.

My Nick.

With his broad back to me, I recognized the strong curve of his shoulders, and the sandy blond hair tied into a ponytail at his nape. He let out a laugh as he scooped up a giggling child, propping them carefully into the seat next to him. The sound stole my heart.

I inched my way around the room at a snail’s pace—heart in my throat. I ached to get a clear glimpse of his face.

Nick wore the same velvet suit, but this time he had on a red hat. Its fur trim gently hugged his forehead, and a large sleigh bell hung heavily on the end. As he moved his head, I heard the softest sound of jingling—the sound I heard last night, before I left my room. I smiled. If I hadn’t heard it, I might never have ended up in the hallway under the laundry cart, needing rescuing.

Nick handed the child a present as I crept round the back of the room. The profile that greeted me today was crystal clear. In the light, with the help of my contacts, his beauty took my breath away.

I must’ve moved into his peripheral vision, because his eyes found mine like a sniper’s bullet. A tight breath caught in my throat and my cheeks burned. There was no mistaking the warmth in his face, and the divine grin growing on his lips.

As if the years had peeled away, Nick smiled at me as he had a thousand times before. But this time was different. New emotions glowed in his eyes, causing buds of hope to bloom in my heart. I leaned against the wall to support my shaky legs. I didn’t want to take his attention from the kids, so I sent him a little wave.

With a wink, Nick turned his attention back to the boy who opened his brightly wrapped present. There was no mistaking the kindness in his face—its familiar warmth. Warmth I’d often craved, lying alone after the angry words and rejection from my ex.

Regret weighed down on my chest like a boulder as I thought of the countless times I’d cursed myself for my actions at the Snowball all those years ago. The times I’d blamed myself for not going to find him. For not telling him how I really felt. How selfish and wrong I’d been.

After a few more minutes, a young girl unwrapped the last gift and had a final photo with Santa. Nick was alone now. When he stood and turned toward me, the look on his face made my heart backflip. The light in his eyes felt like the sun peeking out from behind a thick snow cloud. Like I was the only woman he ever wanted to see standing here against the wall.

Nick reached me, leaned in, laying a soft kiss on my cheek. “You came,” was all he said.

“You got down here so fast.”

He tipped his head to the side. “I had a head start. My reindeer are pretty fast.”

A smile lit up his face, and I had an urge to kiss the dimple on his cheek.

“We shouldn’t talk here,” he said. “I don’t want to shatter any of the kids’ illusions. Can’t have them thinking Santa’s been playing the field.”

I giggled, pushing a stray curl from my cheek. “Come on, surely even St. Nick has a romantic life. And you don’t look anywhere near old enough to be the real Santa!”

“Well, right now, I’m on duty, so it’s wholesome all the way for me.”

I pointed my finger into the velvet of his solid chest. “Listen buddy! Last night was anything but wholesome.”

He sucked in his lips and searched my eyes, as if he was reliving every single moment we had in the hotel room. Finally, he offered me his arm. I smiled, accepting his outstretched hand, and we walked back through the corridors and out into the cold together. As we met the crisp air, a light flurry of snow fell, and tiny flakes hung in the grey sky like stars.

I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms around my body as we walked. “Damn, it’s cold. How do you stand it up here?”

Out of sight of the main entrance, Nick took off his velvet hat and placed it on my head. Its bell jingled crisply in the clear air. “We rely heavily on skin-to-skin contact,”he said, drawing me toward him, warm hands on my arms. “I could always show you.”

I looked into his eyes. Just like when we were kids, they were intense, startling even. But now they contained something else. Something new and just for us. But at the thought of our night, and this morning, my chest tightened.

“Why did you just leave me there, alone at the inn?”

A fine line scored between his brows, and he let out a long sigh. “I know how being left alone feels.”

His words stung and my gut twisted. He meant in the same way I’d left him and gone to the Snowball with someone else. Left our friendship for something newer and more exciting.

“It feels pretty shitty,” I muttered.

He shook his head, releasing my arms. “Look, I didn’t do it to be cruel. I had to get down here fast, and you weren’t waking up, so I left you. I’m sorry.”

I clenched my jaw. I must have been completely out for the count. He probably departed a while before I woke, leaving only cold, crumpled sheets and a faint scent of cinnamon.

“I left the note to give you a choice, Abbie. I hoped you’d come and find me, and I hope now we can work out what last night was… what it meant.” He took my hands, and his deep voice dripped over me like syrup on waffles. “I need to know if you meant what you said last night about loving me back then.”

I let out a shaky exhale. “I can never change what I did… never take it back. But I want you to know that I loved you too. I just didn’t realize how much.” His face was unreadable, and my heart skipped like chipmunks on Red Bull. “I’ve wanted to tell you I was sorry for so long, but I never had the courage to do it. I wasted so much time.”

Nick gave a slow nod. “Do you think you could feel the same way again?”

His voice was so breathy, so rich, that my insides curled in delight at the sound. I squeezed his hands. “I don’t know if I ever stopped loving you, Nick. Certainly, nobody ever lived up to you. And last night? Last night was so perfect. We fit together. We always have.”

Nick puffed the air out of his cheeks and soft pillows of condensation curled around us.

“I don’t want to beg you to trust me again,” I said. “But last night was amazing. I can’t just walk away from that… or from you.”

He reached out and took my hands, threading his fingers through mine. His hazel eyes roamed over my face, as if taking in each detail. Under his gaze, my mouth ran a little dry. I hoped he had a thing for shiny skin and two-day-old hair.

As if he read my mind, he spoke. “You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re here.”

His words sent my heart soaring into the stratosphere. It beat like it would break out of my chest and bounce around right here in the gardens. I gazed up at him—at his smile. “I feel the same way. It’s so good to see you, Nick.”

After a beat, he bent down to give me a long, lingering kiss, his beard gently scratching my lips. I closed my eyes, lost in a million sensations and a million memories. We’d done so much together over the years—been so much together. And now, in the craziest way, we’d found each other again.

Nick curled his arms around my body and pulled me close. His heat crept through my jacket, and I wrapped my arms around him too. Our lips danced together as the snowflakes fell around us, but as voices reached our ears, he broke our kiss.

He didn’t let me go, though. He held me close to his chest and I played with one of the gold buttons on his jacket. “How the hell did you get my stuff out of my room?”

He chuckled. “You were dead to the world. I know the hotel owner, so I got the spare key and carried it all over.”

Had I drunk that much? With a flutter of the familiar moths in my belly, I recalled the line of bottles on the side of the bathtub. “Ugh. You must think I’m a degenerate.”

Nick shook his head with a grin. “On the contrary. You’re a gorgeous drunk. Very accommodating.” He curled an eyebrow as he spoke, but then the playfulness left his face.

Nick looked down at his feet. Sensing he was about to move away from me, I held him tight. I wouldn’t let him go this time.“What is it?”

His body tensed under my fingers. “I know I said I didn’t want to talk about our past, but I think if we’re going to have any chance of moving on, I need to lay it all out there.”

I nodded, my breath shallowing by the nanosecond. Fine baby hair at Nick’s temples fluttered in the breeze making him look like an angel. Like he wore a halo.

“I couldn’t face you after the Snowball. I wasn’t sure who you’d become. I didn’t know what to say or if I trusted myself to say it.”

I bit my lip, hot waves of guilt engulfing me.

“What you did was devastating. It broke me,” he murmured. “I thought I meant more to you.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the full weight of his words, knowing I could never take my actions back. After a long beat, I looked up at him again.

“I’m so very sorry. If only I could turn back time, things would be different. I know it’s not enough to hear, but if I could go back, I wouldpick you. I would pick what we had. I want you to know that.”

Nick stared into my eyes, as if trying to read the truth in them.

“Nothing I can say will ever change what I did. When you disappeared, I felt like I’d lost my other half, too. Where did you go?” I asked.

He stayed silent, as if measuring his words. The snow fell heavier now, the flakes silently kissing the ground and kissing our clothes.

“I took off to stay with my Uncle Luke. I couldn’t face town again. It would’ve meant seeing you with someone else and me being the butt of his jokes. And honestly, without you, there was no reason to stay.”

Bitterness laced his voice, and I hung my head.

“Luke taught me to survive up there.” He gestured to the mountains that loomed around us. “I love those woods and hills. My life is simple. I have my cabin, and I split trees for a living.”

Well, that accounted for the muscles.

His beautiful mouth bowed upwards. “I found a kind of peace up there. I had a few girlfriends, broke some hearts, but there wasn’t a day I didn’t think about you.”

My breath hitched and our eyes met. I felt the same way.

“Some days I cursed that you were born,” he continued. “Some days I resolved to track you down. But most days, I just missed you. I’d rehearsed a thousand times what I’d say if I ever saw you again. And then last night, there you were, at my feet, covered in laundry and a little worse for wear.”

His eyes creased at the corners. The tenderness in his gaze took my breath.

“And I couldn’t even see you properly.”

“But I could see you, Abbie. Crystal clear.”

He curled his arms around me, breathing in the scent at my neck.

“And what did you see?” I asked.

“The real you. The old Abbie I’d lost.”

“Old being the operative word,” I said, shaking my head.

Nick smiled, running his eyes over my face before stopping at my lips. “Even if you were gray and covered in wrinkles, I’d still want you.”

My breath retreated and without hesitation, I leaned in and kissed him. This kiss was different though—hungry and demanding—and he pressed his growing hardness up against me.

Damn. If this was life in the mountains, then I was sold.

“Hey! Santa!” A cry rang out in the courtyard as a group of older kids hung out of the hospital window, whistling and yelling at us.

“Is that Mrs. Claus?” the boy shouted.

Nick pulled away leaving me dizzy with longing.

“She’s hot!” the kid hollered, his friends nudging him, egging him on.

“Yes, she is,”Nick said quietly. His voice dripped with desire as his mouth drew close to my ear.

“And I’ve got some serious unwrapping to do before the day is out.”

The End.