Secrets in Pelican Crossing (Pelican Crossing #2)

Forty-nine

Since speaking with Rachel, Liz hadn’t been able to get her friend’s words out of her head. She flinched every time she remembered her saying how like Mandy she was, with her stubborn refusal to change her mind about Finn. Her comments about grandchildren had shocked her too. She’d never imagined Rachel felt that way. She always seemed so content with her life. It just showed, Liz thought, how you never really knew anyone, not even your closest friends.

But she had to admit Rachel was right about one thing. No matter how many grandchildren she had, they couldn’t take the place of Finn in her bed. She shuddered at the memory of his arms around her, their lips meeting, their… She gave herself a shake. She’d made her decision. So, why did it seem so hard, as if she was punishing herself. Today was Sunday, an entire day to reflect on how she’d spoken to Finn. She needed something to take her mind off him. She picked up her phone.

Fifteen minutes later, she threw her phone down in disgust. All three of her children had made plans for the day, plans which didn’t include her. To be fair, Julie had offered to cancel the trip she and Tilly had arranged with a friend from school and her mother, but Liz couldn’t allow her to do that. So she was stuck with her own company, and her own thoughts, none of which were very edifying.

Deciding on her usual form of solace, Liz set off for the beach. But today, the feeling of sand between her toes and the sound of the waves didn’t have their customary comforting effect. It was almost a relief when she saw Agnes coming towards her with her dog .

‘Hello, Liz. On your own today? Where’s that lovely granddaughter of yours?’

‘Busy. They’re all busy, Agnes.’ Liz couldn’t keep the note of bitterness out of her voice.

The two women had stopped to talk, the dog continuing to play in the water. There was no one else in sight.

Agnes peered at Liz from under the brim of her floppy straw hat. ‘You sound as if you need to talk to someone.’

‘No, I…’ How could she confide in Agnes? But the old woman had been around for a long time. She was known for her wisdom. She might take care of pelicans these days, but she hadn’t always done that. Liz seemed to recall hearing she’d once been a social worker and it was a small step from caring for people to caring for animals. ‘How long have you got?’ she asked.

‘All the time in the world. My birds won’t miss me till a lot later. Lady and I are at your disposal.’ She peered at Liz again. ‘Why don’t we find somewhere to sit?’

Liz followed Agnes to one of the benches the council had provided on the edge of the beach, where, much to her surprise, she poured out her troubles to the old woman, finishing with, ‘I don’t know what to do,’ as her eyes filled with tears.

‘Oh, I think you do, my dear. You love this man?’

Liz nodded, brushing away the tears and feeling slightly foolish for breaking down like this.

‘Then it seems to me you have nothing to lose but your pride. And your friend is right, pride won’t keep you warm at night. I may not have married and had a family, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t have chances. To my shame, I put other things before my own happiness. I’d hate to see you make the same mistake.’

It was Liz’s turn to peer at Agnes, to try to picture the young, attractive woman she’d once been. Then what the old woman had said struck her. She was right. It was pride that was keeping her from accepting Finn’s olive branch, for refusing to acknowledge she’d been wrong.

‘Thank you, Agnes.’ Liz threw her arms around the old woman and hugged her.

‘Now, now, no need for that,’ Agnes said but she was smiling. ‘I only told you what you already knew. There’s not a relationship in the world that doesn’t begin with a few bumps on the road. Finn’s a good man. I saw that in him when I had my little accident. Don’t let pride get in the way of true love. Now, off you go and talk to your young man before he changes his mind.’ Then, calling to her dog, Agnes walked away.

Left to herself, Liz thought about what Agnes had said. Could it be so simple? Pride , thought Liz. Is that what it was? Could she pocket her pride and apologise to Finn? She tried to put herself in his place, thinking how worried he must have been for his livelihood and an uncertain future.

What if Agnes was right and the opportunity to make amends was lost?

Turning, Liz made her way back along the beach, oblivious to the beauty of the ocean which normally drew her attention.

When she arrived home, her stomach was churning at the prospect of facing Finn again. She threw off the jeans and tee-shirt she’d worn to the beach and stepped into the shower. As the water cascaded over her, Liz remembered Finn’s last words to her and hers to him. She’d promised to think about it. Maybe he’d be glad to see her, but what if he wasn’t? What if he’d had second thoughts? She couldn’t blame him after the way she’d treated him.

Dressing in a pair of smart jeans and a floral shirt, Liz took particular care with her makeup and managed to tame her hair into a neat style. Before leaving the apartment, she did one last thing. She took the bottle of champagne out of the bin and placed it in the fridge. Then, her heart thumping madly, her legs weak, she headed for her car.

All the way to the house where Finn lived with his daughter, Liz practiced what she was going to say. She hoped Adele and Sandy were out and she could catch Finn by himself. Both his daughter and grandson had been kind to her, but she had no desire to make them privy to her asking for forgiveness, or, horror of horrors, to witness Finn rejecting her.

At last she was there. As she got out of the car, she could hear the sound of children’s voices coming from the yard. Her heart dropped – no chance of catching Finn on his own. It sounded as if there was a party going on. She almost got back in the car and drove off. But she didn’t. Taking a deep breath, her heart in her mouth, Liz made her way to the door and knocked.

‘Liz!’ Adele’s eyes widened when she opened the door, Sandy’s small dog behind her. ‘Bluey, stay!’ she said firmly. ‘Sorry, Sandy has a few friends round. It’s like a circus here today. Are you looking for Finn?’

‘Ye…es.’

‘I’m sorry, he’s not here.’

Liz’s heart sank.

‘He’s spent the weekend at the newspaper office getting everything arranged for the changeover. You can catch him there.’

‘Oh, I don’t think…’ Liz didn’t want to disturb Finn if he was busy at work.

‘No, do. He’ll be pleased to see you, and I’m sure he needs a break. Sorry, I need to get back,’ she said, as the sound of children’s voices grew louder in the background. ‘I look forward to seeing you again soon.’

Liz made her way back to the car, puzzling over Adele’s last comment. Was she only being polite, or did she know something about Finn’s feelings? There was only one way to find out. Sliding into the driver’s seat, she turned on the engine and drove to the newspaper office.

This part of town was deserted on a Sunday afternoon, and Liz felt very noticeable as she parked and got out of the car. Peering through the window of the Courier building, there was no one to be seen, and Liz wondered if Adele had been mistaken or if Finn had already left. Her heart in her mouth she knocked on the glass door. At first there was no response, then she saw a tall figure coming towards her.

Finn opened the door, and they stood gazing at each other.

Liz’s heart sank; she began to shake. Maybe this had been a mistake. Then he smiled and said, ‘You’d better come in.’

Liz followed him through the large room filled with desks and computers to a small glass-walled office at the back of the room. The desk held a large computer and was covered with papers and files. The floor was almost completely hidden by boxes.

‘Excuse the mess,’ Finn said, dragging a hand through his hair. ‘Take a seat.’ He cleared a bundle of files off a chair and perched on the edge of the desk. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here today. ’

He looked so attractive, his glasses perched on top of his head, his blue chambray shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows showing his sinewy arms, his jeans stretched tightly across his thighs, that for a moment Liz was lost for words. ‘Adele told me you were here,’ she said.

‘Ah!’ He waited.

Liz knew it was up to her to explain herself. She took yet another deep breath. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I let my pride get in the way. Oh, Finn, I’ve missed you so much, I was a fool. I should have accepted your explanation when you told me you only wanted to keep what we had together for as long as you could. Can you forgive me?’

Without a moment’s hesitation, Finn slid off the desk. He pulled Liz up from the chair and into his arms. When their lips met, it was as if she’d come home.

‘When they finally disentangled, Liz said, ‘I have that bottle of champagne in my fridge.’

‘I thought you might have thrown it out.’

‘I did, but I retrieved it before I left, when I decided to speak with you, to beg your forgiveness.’

Finn chuckled. ‘What are we waiting for?’

‘Don’t you have work to do?’

‘It’ll keep.’

Once outside, Finn said, ‘We can take your car. You can drop me off in the morning.’

Lizz gazed at him in surprise. He’d never stayed overnight before.

‘This time, I don’t intend to allow you to have second thoughts, and I can’t wait to wake up next to you.’

Liz couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Everything was going to be all right.