See Her (Turn it Up #1)

Chapter 13

13

JACK

A quick cruise by Mayzie’s house revealed that she’s not home, and I find myself stumped at a red light. I scrub a hand along my jawline while the other rests on the wheel as I wait for the light to change, wracking my brains on where she could be.

I don’t want to be a relentless stalker, but minute by minute I’m coming to realize that things not being right with Mayzie and me means things not being right in my world, period.

When the light switches to green, I continue on aimlessly. I left work to make things right, and I don’t want it to be for nothing. There are a thousand places she could be on a Saturday night, and I feel myself tightening up more with every block.

She’s never seen me play. It’s the one part of myself I’ve never shared…

Then it hits me.

I’ve never seen her dance.

It’s a long shot, but it’s the only definitive place I can think to try.

Twenty minutes later, I pull up in front of the dance studio and see Mayzie’s car parked just a few spots up on the street.I hope what I’m doing won’t piss her off, but I feel the need to take t his chance.I need to see her, let her know how I really feel, and try my hardest to make this better.I get out of the truck and head up to the studio,open the glass door, which has the Dance It Out logo etched on it, and walk up to the front desk.Behind it, there’s someone who appears to be another dancer by the way she’s dressed, shutting down the computer and gathering her bags like she’s making to leave.

“Excuse me,” I say, and she looks up.“Is Mayzie Walker here?”

“She is,” she answers, as she stands to gather up some belongings. “She’s in studio one,” she finishes, as she brushes past me with a smirk on her way to the door.

“Thank you!” I call after her, as the door closes behind her.I turn and head down the hallway that I assume leads to the dance rooms.The first one I come to on the left has the number “1” posted to the side of the door, which has a long, narrow window in it, giving me a look into the studio.

And there she is.

She’s wearing a grey t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder, a navy sports bra evident underneath, tiny black shorts, and black socks that I assume are for helping her to glide across the hardwood floor.And she’s moving in a way I’ve never seen her move before.Not only that, she’s taken on a completely different persona. She’s not doing any delicate, whimsical number either.Her moves are hardcore. The music that’s playing in the studio is high energy, a Pop Evil song, if I’m not mistaken.

All of a sudden, time slows down and all other noises fade away. It’s like I’m watching her move through water, with the sound of the music barely audible.Her hair is up, but some strands have come loose, some flowing around her face, making her look wistful; others sticking to the back of her neck from sweat, making her look badass.She’s hitting her moves hard, with total force and precision in time with the beat of the music.

I realize now that my girl’s a force to be reckoned with.She’s sweet and playful, but when she’s upset, she’s got a dynamic as fuck w ay of dealing with it.She wants to be alone,maybe to protect the person she’s upset with – in this case, me – or maybe to protect herself by not putting her feelings on display for anyone.

As I take in the fixed expression of frustration and determination on her face, I’m in awe of her and scared of her at the same time. And suddenly, a song is writing itself in my head. Lyrics are materializing out of nowhere.I continue to watch her intricate yet vast movements. With the sweep of an arm or sweeping kick of her leg, she slices through the air, as if the music is coming directly from her.

I knew she could dance, just by the way she talks about it. But seeing it with my own eyes is like a punch to the chest. Now she’s on her knees, throwing her head and arms all the way back so that she almost makes contact with the floor, and throwing her pelvis out.

Sweet Jesus, I’m going to die .

And then she’s up again, doing a few more graceful turns, followed by another kick here and there, and some arm movements that have some serious punch behind them.I thought I was done for the moment I met this beauty, but now, I’m hopelessly in…

I love her.

The music switches over to an old Def Leppard ballad and her movements slow down and soften some, but her face is still in a hard expression with a small hint of sadness.With the music change I snap back to the present, and suddenly feel as though I’m invading her privacy. Not to mention I’m a total hypocrite right now. I didn’t invite her to my shows, but I’ve invited myself to watch her dancing. Of course, that wasn’t in the plan.I came here to talk to her, but still… it’s not fair.

And the lyrics that have been forming in my head since I first started watching her are swirling in my mind, almost mocking me.It’s like they’re threatening to leave if I don’t get them written down.I turn and head down the hall and walk out the door, heading for my truck. After I let myself in, I reach over and grab my notebook off the passenger seat, scribbling down several lines that were inspired by the vision I just saw dancing in that studio.

When I’m satisfied that I got it all down, I close the notebook and toss it back on the seat. I stay there a moment, scrubbing my hand over my face.I’m torn between doing several things: going back in there to confess that I saw her and trying to work things out, texting her to ask her to please call me, or going home and rubbing one off to thoughts of what I just saw her doing in there.

Oh, Jack, you bastard.

I try to shake that last thought out of my mind.

Before I can make up my mind, I see the studio door open and Mayzie walk out, her bag slung over her shoulder as she turns to lock the place up.She turns and starts walking up the street to her car, and once again, I stop thinking and just act.

Mayzie

I look at the clock when there’s a break between songs and realize I’ve been at it for almost an hour and a half.I’m going to hurt tomorrow, but it was worth it.I throw my arms out and shout, “Thank you! I’ll be here all week!” to no one, and shut down the music app on my phone.I grab my water bottle and take a long drink before setting it down to pull my yoga pants on and slip on my sneakers. I grab my bag, turn out the lights, and leave the room, heading down the hall and out the door. After locking up, I make it a few steps before I hear a familiar voice.

“Mayzie!”

What the fuck? I turn back to see Jack getting out of his truck and jogging towards me.What on earth is he doing here? He’s in his ba r uniform, with his shirt open over a white tank. The sight of him reminds me of my hurt feelings, which stokes the fire deep in my belly that I had just gotten down to a dull ember. But a tiny part of me, deep inside, is happy to see him, and that pisses me off. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to work,” I ask, feeling my forehead scrunch.

“I got someone to cover me at the bar. I was going nuts knowing things aren’t okay with you and me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I just wanted to see if I could try to make it right…” Oh my gosh is he rambling? This is going to be good. “I’m sorry to show up like this…” he tapers off as he stares down at me like he’s begging me to understand, but can’t find the words.

“How did you know to come here?” is my brilliant retort.

“I took a chance,” he admits.

I let out a long, hard sigh. “I really don’t know what to say right now, Jack.”

“Maybe you can just listen then?” The look on his face is pleading.

I let out another breath. “Okay,” I say after a few beats.

He steels himself with a deep breath before he starts in. “These last couple of weeks, you’ve become so important to me. So much so that I feel like you’re a part of me now.And then there’s my music, which has been a part of me for so long… I’ve never had something come along in my life that was as important as that – until you.”

Never have I had anyone say anything like that to me in my life. For a second, I close my eyes and bask in those words, letting them make my insides glow before the nagging shred of confusion shouts from the back corner of my mind. It still doesn’t explain his actions.

“Then why not invite me into that part of you?” I ask softly.

“It scares the shit out of me.” He shakes his head slightly, like he’s bewildered at his own reasoning. “I don’t know why.” He runs a hand through his hair, pushing the long strands out of his face. “Maybe I’m afraid you’ll become even more important to me, and if I lose you, it will feel like I have nothing left. Maybe I’m afraid you’ll only kind of like that part of me and not love it…” He blows out a weighted breath as I try to make sense of the things he’s saying.

On paper, it’s like they make no sense at all, but in my mind, I can feel what he’s trying to say. It’s crazy.

“I can hear how crazy I sound now, saying it all out loud,” he finishes, dropping his head back, and this time, running both hands through his hair.

As I take in his words, the flames inside me start to dwindle down again. Still, I take a moment to look down at the sidewalk, unable to take the emotion I know I’d see in his eyes if I look up. I just need a moment to gather myself before I fall in.

“I guess… I just don’t know where this leaves us.” I raise a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug and finally look up at him.

This makes him bring his head back up to look me straight in the eye, those midnight blues of his softening as he steps closer to me.

“Well, where I’d like us to be is last night,” he answers, chancing to reach out and touch me, skimming his knuckles up and down my arm. Even through my jacket, his touch leaves a tingling sensation dancing along the surface of my skin. “To be able to rewind to that moment, and ask you to stay and see my band play.”

He brings his other hand up to cradle the side of my neck, and the touch makes my eyes close. His closeness is ecstasy, and I want more. I will myself to stay strong instead, at least long enough to hear the rest, no matter how torturously beautiful the feel of his thumb stroking along my skin is.

“And then I’d get over my cowardly shit, let myself be vulnerable to you, and lay it all out for you on the stage,” he continues, his voice taking on a rumbling tone that reminds me of thunder in the distance. “I would trust you, and I would trust fate to let all the parts of you and me come together, and if for some reason that didn’t happen, I’d never let myself regret it for a moment. ”

My breath involuntarily catches in my throat. The way he’s touching me, the words he just spoke; they can’t be real. This feels too much like a fantasy to be true.

I try to control my breathing as Jack brings his forehead down to meet mine. “I saw you dancing in there…”

Wait.

“What?” I look up at him in surprise, the harmonious symphony between us coming to a screeching halt, which really sucks.

The very flames that had just dwindled down to a beautifully glowing ember reignite. I can’t believe he saw that!I was in my rawest form in there.Completely unbridled.That wasn’t meant for anyone to see.I feel so imposed upon and… kind of mad.

“Jack, what the–”

“And it made me not only see what an idiot I’ve been about this,” he interrupts my what would have been fabulously indignant tirade, but with raised eyebrows, politely asking me to forgive the cutoff and hear him out. “But it also made me want you to see that part of me ,” he explains.

“Jack…” I start in, keeping my voice level and ignore the uneasiness inside. “I could have very easily YouTubed you at any time to see your band play.I could’ve found out about any of the gigs that you’ve had since we’ve been seeing each other and just shown up. I wanted to, but I didn’t because I wanted you to ask me into that part of your life. So for you to actively keep me away from it, but help yourself to a view of me in my elemental passion–”

“It’s not fair,” he finishes, with a penitent nod. “I know that, and I’m sorry. But honestly, I came up here to try and talk things out, it wasn’t to be sneaky and steal a look at you dancing, but, Mayzie, I need to tell you… it was so damn beautiful. You were completely unleashed and it fucking moved me. I’m so fucking inspired right now. I’ve never felt anything like how watching you dance made me feel.”At these words, a bucket of warm water gets dumped on the last pitiful remaining flickers of my rage.I feel a gentle elation spread through me at the thought that this part of me makes him feel that way. I’m overcome with it, and I want to throw my arms around him.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I'd been holding, and feel my eyes start to shimmer with moisture. Fuck, it’s embarrassing as shit, and I quickly blink it away.

We stand without speaking for a few moments, absorbing what’s been said and just taking each other in.The look on his face is a combination of defeat and hope.There is so much being said in the silence, making this moment a pivotal one. It’s as if our souls both reached out, joined hands, and pulled each other a little closer.Finally, I offer him a small smile.

“What’s that smile mean?” he asks, the edges of his own lips starting to curl up.He takes a step closer to me. “Do I get to come out of the doghouse now?”He reaches out to gently tug on one of the loose strands of my hair before cupping the side of my face, and I let my smile grow a little wider.

“Yes,” I say, nodding, and leaning into his hand a little. “I get it.”

“Good,” he smiles back. “Thinking about letting me give you that first kiss now?” he asks, and that damn dimple pops along with his flirty smile.

I feel the glow in my own smile as I blink up at him and nod before he lowers his face to mine.

His lips brush against mine before finally connecting. It’s gentle, yet there is a small amount of pressure behind it. He holds the kiss there for a moment before sweeping his tongue across my lips to coax them open for him.It feels like liquid ecstasy is pouring down my throat to pool in my chest. It’s so intense and beautiful.When I open my mouth, he tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss, caressing my tongue with his.His motions are tender, yet he takes what he wants. My hands come up to hold on to his wrists.When he gently pulls away, he takes the breath from my lungs with him as our foreheads rest against each other. I close my eyes and try to even out my breathing, hangin g onto each gust of air, hoping it will stretch the moment out longer.

“You should’ve done that a long time ago,” I say, when I can finally speak. I still can’t open my eyes yet though.

“I should’ve,” he agrees, “but that was more than worth the wait.”