See Her (Turn it Up #1)

Chapter 30

30

JACK

“ I t’s crazy, all these cosmetic companies and fashion designers just send her things so that she’ll be seen wearing them,” Mayzie muses about her conversations with Erin Stockwell. They’ve become good buddies over the last couple of weeks, and it makes me feel good that she has someone looking out for her whenever I get pulled into the grind.

“Well, maybe they’ll start doing that for you.” I smile down at her after tossing the hair out of my face that the salty breeze is enjoying blowing around.

She lifts a shoulder. “I don’t love the idea of getting something for nothing, but I wouldn’t complain,” she laughs lightly. “It wouldn’t hurt to look more like a rock wife.”

“Hey, you wear the hell out of vintage t-shirts and ripped jeans,” I admonish, giving her hand a squeeze, and she quirks the side of her mouth up at me. I haven’t seen her famous smile in a while. She’s been half-assing it, and I can’t even begin to blame her. But when I found out we’d be getting a three-hour respite from the chaos during our stop in L.A., I had one of the SUVs promptly bring us to the beach so I could be alone with her and catch up.

“How are you doing?” I ask her, looking over at her as we walk. It’s hard to read her expression under her sunglasses, but I search her face anyway.

She shrugs. “It’s taking some getting used to, but I’m hanging in there.I’m more worried about you. You’re the one being run ragged.”

“I’m doing the same. Takes some getting used to. The hardest part is not getting to spend a lot of time with you,” I say, squeezing her hand again.

“Yeah, it sucks,” she agrees, looking out over the ocean waves. The marine layer has lifted and the sun is blazing down on us, bouncing off the highlights in her hair that’s blowing in the salty breeze. “But,” she continues, “it’s how it has to be. We were warned. We knew what we were getting into; how busy you’d be.Our time will just have to come later.”

“Fuck that,” I say, stopping us and pulling her towards me. I wrap my arms around her in a hug as she puts hers around my waist and leans her cheek against my chest. I take a deep breath in and exhale, letting the relief of this moment take over.Just holding her close to me, with no other sound but the waves, is enough to relax me and help me reset.The only problem is I don’t feel her do the same.I still feel tension in her body, and I have to know what’s on her mind, even though I’m dreading the answer.“What’s going on Mayzie? Please don’t tell me you’re still thinking what I think you are.”

“You know I am,” she says while shaking her head. I let out a frustrated sigh, my peaceful moment gone.

“Maze, don’t you dare tell me that you shouldn’t be here right now. You’re where you’re supposed to be. With me.”

“Jack, I’m in the way,” she says firmly, and speaks over me when I try to open my mouth to argue. “You can’t deny that my being here is throwing things off with you and the guys.This is a huge learning curve that you guys should be navigating together, as a unit.”

“And you are not getting in the way of that,” I say, stepping back to look at her .

“I don’t mean to be, but I am. Just my being here is messing with the band’s dynamic. Josh and Chris are pissy because they have to cram into a room together with Matt so that we can have the other room for privacy. And do I even need to bring up San Francisco?”

Shit . I knew she’d bring that up as her ace in the hole. She’s referring to the time a few days ago when I ended up so late for sound check I almost missed it completely.There was yet another schedule change, and our time got moved up.I didn’t get the message because she and I were busy having sex in the hotel room.I thought we had at least another hour, but apparently my phone was exploding the whole time it was on silent.I got an earful from the guys, the crew, and the head road manager.I got a none too happy call from Ron, too, but I refused to see it as Mayzie being in the way.I just want her here, experiencing this with me so badly.

“Alright, fine. We hit a speed bump,” I say, tossing my hands up. “We can get past that,” I reason.

“How?” she asks despondently, her shoulders dropping with the breath she huffs out.

I shake my head, fighting to find the words to say, but I have none. “I don’t know,” I finally admit, stepping close to her again and placing my hands on either side of her neck. “I just need to find some balance. It’s been harder than I thought,” I confide, dropping my forehead to hers.

“Because it’s new,” she points out quietly, her voice a sweet murmur. “You and I haven’t figured things out yet because we’ve only been married a few weeks, and the tour is even newer. You’re trying to make two things coexist that you don’t even have worked out on their own.”

“You’re too fucking smart for me,” I whisper down at her as I close my eyes, just trying to focus on connecting. “So what do I do about all that?”

“I don’t know,” she returns. “I’m not that smart.”

“Shut up and come here,” I tease in a growl before pulling her in to me and bringing my mouth down on hers. My lips move deliberately against hers, and after a few seconds, I tilt my head, signaling her to open her mouth and let me in deeper.I’ve been dying to be able to make out with her for the last few days, and it feels so fucking good.I know better than to think I can just keep putting a Band Aid over everything by kissing her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it.

Familiar warmth spreads all through my upper body, and tingles travel up my back.Her hands come up to squeeze my shoulders, like she’s feeling the same effect that I am. One of my hands goes into her hair as we press our lips together harder, and the kiss reaches the next level of intensity.I don’t give a shit what any passerby might think; this moment is too meaningful for me to worry about that. Right when I feel a tiny moan from her on my lips, sending an electrical current through my bloodstream, my phone goes off. Unfortunately, the incident in San Francisco did teach me to keep the volume turned up.

“Fuck,” I say, reaching for the offensive device with one hand while my other arm keeps her anchored to me. It’s a text, stating that we have to get back to the hotel so a local news outlet can interview us. We have thirty minutes.

“We gotta go back, don’t we?” she says, a disappointed half smile on her face.

“Yeah,” I say, trying to be as tender as possible.“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay,” she says, lifting a shoulder. “This was really nice… while it lasted.” She looks down and I pull her close, touching our foreheads again.

“Please… just hang in there,” I pleadingly rasp. “Please don’t give up.”

“I won’t give up, Jack,” she assures in her own whispe r. “Not on us.”

Mayzie

The next few days are just as much of a cluster-fuck of schedule changes and glitches, and on day fourteen, it seems to culminate. From L.A., we’d traveled to San Diego, and then to Phoenix, where we are now, parked in the bus at the venue. I’m sitting at the dinette table with my laptop, working on some assignments for work while Jack and Matt tool around with their guitars and talk about the set list. Heavy and deliberate footfalls signal the arrival of Sean, one of the road managers.

“Guys, we just got a call from one of the local radio stations.The segment they were doing for their noon rush fell through. See Her is one of their top played songs, and they want an interview. I told them we’d be there ASAP. Get to the SUV’s, now,” he barks, leaning in through the hallway.

This doesn’t faze me much; it’s just a prime example of how unpredictable the band’s new crazy schedule can be.Jack and Matt put their guitars down and get to their feet.

“Back soon, baby.” Jack leans down to kiss me before heading to the front of the bus.

“Chris is already out there. Where’s Josh?” Sean asks.

“He went for a run,” Matt answers.

“Alright, I’ll get a hold of him,” Sean says, whipping out his phone as he follows them to exit at the front of the bus.

Finding myself on the bus with no men for a change, I decide this would be prime time to take a shower.We spent the night on the road, and between working and sleeping, I haven’t taken one yet, and I could seriously stand to freshen up.I grab my toiletries and towel out of the bunk, and come back to cram myself in the tiny bus shower. I get the water running, strip out of my clothes and step in, enjoying the peace and quiet and letting the steam envelop me. I have my body and hair completely sudsy when there is a bang on the door, so loud and harsh it startles me, making me slip. I grab onto the door to steady myself when I hear shouting .

“Who the fuck is in there?! Get out, I need to get in!” I hear Josh yelling through the door. He probably just heard about the radio interview on his run and high-tailed it back here. Shit .

“It’s me!” I shout back. “Okay, hold on.” I start vigorously working the shampoo out of my hair, trying to rinse it out as fast as I can.

“For fuck’s sake!” I hear him shout, and I hear his footsteps moving away. I jump out of the shower and wrap my towel around me. Still completely dripping wet, I step out of the door to find Josh, shirtless and zipping up a pair of jeans. His skin is glistening with sweat and I see a pair of shorts and another t-shirt discarded near his feet. My guess is he got a little ripe on his afternoon run in the hot weather.

“Sorry, go ahead,” I say, sweeping my arm to the side to gesture to the shower.

“Fucking forget it.They were going to hold the car for me for five minutes so I wouldn’t have to go to this interview reeking of sweat, but too fucking late now. Thanks.”

The last word is coated in acid and it makes me cringe.

“Josh, I’m sorry. I thought you’d all left.”

He’s digging through his bunk, probably for a clean shirt. I fucking hate that I’m in nothing but a towel in front of him, but since my bag is in the bunk, he’s blocking my access to my clothes. Add in the fact that he’s pissed, it makes me feel extra vulnerable.

“Just like always,” he says, finding a t-shirt and pulling it over his head, before digging out some cologne. “Everywhere I turn, there you fucking are.” He sprays the cologne about seven times. “Tell me something,” he says, throwing it back and grabbing a comb. “How did I miss you at practices and shows over the last ten years?”

I feel a cold brick drop down to the bottom of my stomach as I translate what he’s saying. The band has been together and striving towards this for a decade, and I’m not supposed to be part of that. I pull my towel a little tighter and try to obscure myself as much as I can, clinging to the wall.Water is still dripping off me, and I’m starting to shiver.

“Look,” I start, blinking against the anxiety terrorizing my insides and try to straighten my back. I’m trying to be understanding but strong. “I agree it should just be the four of you here, but it was a really hard call with Jack and I just getting married a little while ago.”

“Yeah,” he says, grabbing his phone and wallet. “Funny how that happened so quickly after the song's release.”

My jaw drops at what I’m hearing.

Oh hell no, is he suggesting what I think he is…

“I did not marry Jack because I saw you guys getting attention,” I grind out from between clenched teeth. “I don’t know if you said that to cut me,” – because it worked, sadly – “but I’d love to hear what your problem really is with me.”

“Fine!” He throws his comb down and it pings off a table before clattering to the floor. “This is supposed to be our time, alright?” he reveals, throwing his arms out. “We’ve only been working towards this for close to half our lives, and when we finally get our big break, Jack can’t be bothered because he now has steady pussy to come home to.”

A sharp gasp rips down my throat and my entire torso contracts into itself at his words as he mercilessly continues to lay it out. In all fairness, I did tell him to.

“He’s making us look like assholes at after parties. Half the fans are shrinking away because he’s too worried about your feelings and other bullshit.”

“Josh!” Matt’s shout cuts off the asshole’s tirade. “What the hell? We’re waiting for you. We’re late!” He comes trudging onto the bus, stopping abruptly when he sees Josh and me, seemingly having a face off. “What the hell’s going on here?” I don’t even want to think about how this must look. A heated argument with my husband’s bandmate while I’m dripping wet, in nothing but a towel.

Josh pushes past Matt and stomps off the bus, while Matt turns back to face me.I don’t even know what to say, so I duck back into the shower, just to avoid any interaction. I don’t care to have another half-naked conversation with another band member.When I finally hear the bus door slam shut, I slump against the door and close my eyes.