Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter FourEvaline

Chapter Four

Evaline

T he gusts of ice-cold wind that cut past us froze the tears that ran down my cheeks, and after a while, started to numb them.

I wished it could numb the grief, too.

No one spoke for several minutes as we made our way back down the path toward the decline. I tried to quiet my cries but didn’t completely care what any of them thought of me. I knew Dean would understand since he was a Kova. I knew Sage cared for me, so she’d be sympathetic. And Lauden…he could walk right off this cliff for all I cared.

I walked a step or two behind them. I desperately wanted to be alone, but this was the best that could be achieved on a multi-hour hike down the mountain.

For a moment, I’d considered asking Dean to run me down to the castle but quickly dismissed the thought.

Sage threw back concerned glances every once in a while and strode with wringing hands, and I could see the tilt of Dean’s head and the way he tried to look out the side of his eyes to check on me every few minutes.

What hurt worse was that my mind flashed back to when Maddox and Wyott had done this, when we escaped Kembertus after I’d killed Bassel. And that memory sent a new wave of pain through my chest, up my throat, until my voice came out with more venom than I’d intended.

“I don’t need pity and I don’t need sympathetic glances, I need eyes forward.”

Sage and Dean straightened at the same time, they stood next to each other as they walked ahead, Lauden on Sage’s other side, and guilt immediately sent a blush of shame over my face.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly, looking down at my boots and the stone they traversed. “It just hurts worse, when you turn back.”

Before anyone could respond, Lauden turned to us as we reached the fork in the road, where the path would turn to tilt down the mountain.

“I need to maintain the wards at a few key points around the city. It’s larger than the others so it requires more than just one ward.” He pointed the opposite way as James’ house to the area where the mountain ended in a sheer cliff. “I’ll start here and make my way to the other points.” He shifted his weight between his feet and looked to the three of us. “I probably won’t be back until after dark.” His eyes flicked to Dean, then to Sage. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“You don’t want me to come with you?” she asked, looking up at him, and I knew she likely meant to portal him around.

He shook his head and smiled. “No thanks, I can handle it. Get out of the cold,” he said, stepping forward and lowering his lips to hers.

Dean and I both turned away at the same time, and if I hadn’t been so thoroughly depressed I might’ve laughed at our reaction, and the surprise in Sage’s widening eyes at Lauden’s small act of kindness for her.

Gods knew we didn’t see that happen often.

We separated from the Sorcerer then and, while he ascended higher into the mountain, Dean, Sage, and I descended the slope toward the castle.

My chest felt tight, I already couldn’t breathe from the grief, so to add the act of balancing and bracing myself as we shuffled down the mountainside on top of all of it, I was panting after only a few minutes.

Sage swore as she started to slip, but caught herself.

“Okay, maybe Lauden was onto something with the staircase. I mean at least a railing would be helpful,” she gasped out, and I couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from my mouth at the words.

“Let’s all vow to never tell Lauden there was even a moment we agreed with him,” I got out between laughs and an uncharacteristic chuckle loosed from Dean.

And even Sage couldn’t hide the amusement from her eyes. For not the first time, I wondered why she was with him.

We continued in silence for a while, and just as we made it to the last steep patch of rock, it started to snow.

“Be careful,” Dean said, offering his hands to both Sage and me as we took a few slick steps.

Neither one of us pretended to be too proud to accept his help, probably because we didn’t want to slide down to our deaths. And if we didn’t have a railing, a steady Kova hand at our side was better than nothing.

I swung a hand out to heat the rock below us so that the snowflakes would melt as soon as they touched it, but it didn’t help. While the snow didn’t form a slush or ice, it did result in making the already hard-to-traverse slope slick. I couldn’t heat the rock too much more or our boots would melt, so Sage and I grasped on desperately to Dean’s hands.

Dean stood between us as we held onto him. The Sorceress and I tried to maintain our balance, which resulted in Dean’s hands rising and lowering to all different levels as each of us tottered and flung our arms out to balance.

I was a few feet from the bottom of the mountain when I let go of Dean’s hand and crouched down, letting my boots slide along the rock until they hit even ground again, and I stood, turning to face them.

Dean shot me a smile. “This reminds me of when we all used to take yearly trips up here to board. You’ll have to come with us when all of this is over.”

I opened my mouth to speak and tried to stamp down the pain that racketed through my chest at the fact that since Charlotte was dead this may never be over, but before I could, Sage’s foot slipped out from underneath her and she shrieked as she started to plummet.

Of course, Dean caught her quickly. His hand that held hers seemed to tighten and he kneeled to swing his other arm around her until he pulled her against his chest to stop her fall.

A blush exploded over Sage’s cheeks as she looked up and they slowly made eye contact, and Gods, I blushed at the sight of them.

In all the times I’d seen Lauden put his arm around Sage, or kiss her, or even look at her, I’d never seen a tenth of the tension that Dean and Sage had now.

For a moment, I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. At the way Dean’s arm around her curled slightly. At the way her chest moved with fast breaths.

But it was only a moment that my heart could handle, because seeing them, this little crush that Dean seemed to have on Sage, caused a pain to beat through my chest as I remembered, again, that Maddox was still gone and that my only true lead was dead.

The two of them seemed to break from their trance as I turned away and I heard them both mumble apologies.

The rest of the trek wasn’t long, and when we made it to the castle, we headed straight for the hearth in the guest wing.

The fire was already crackling when we walked in, but I made it reach a foot higher as Sage and I sank down onto the stone and extended our hands to the flames. Dean stood a few feet off the hearth, arms crossed, but I could feel his gaze.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him to find his gaze quickly flitting away from mine.

It didn’t make me angry, or hurt, like it had up on the mountain. It seemed like he had something to say.

“What is it, Dean?” I asked, though, by the purse of his lips, I had a feeling he didn’t want to say it.

His throat bobbed with a swallow as he turned back to face me and I saw Sage tilt her head toward him, too.

“I just—” he started before cutting himself off to take a breath. “I don’t want you to lose hope. I don’t want you to think this is the end of the road. It’s not.”

I clenched my jaw to stop the emotion that swelled up my throat and looked down at my wringing hands.

“I haven’t lost hope in the journey. Or that Maddox can come home,” I said, then turned to the fire as I heard the clatter of plates down the hallway—our dinner arriving, no doubt. “I’ve just lost hope that I’ll be the one to help him do it.”

I hadn’t been there to stop his turn, I failed to force my magic down the bond to help him. I couldn’t find an answer in any books on the island. And even now, I was just shy of a solution, again. So many paths, so many forks, and different avenues to pick, and no matter how many I pursued, they all failed.

If I couldn’t help Maddox, if I couldn’t fix this one thing, how was I going to fix the world? How would I enact the Gods’ plan? How could I ever kill Vasier?

I feared, not for the first time, that the Gods chose the wrong Sorceress.